Chapter 251 - Ch. 251 Kaylee's Diary (part 1)
Britney's mood was still deteriorating even though her husband had gone to see Pierre. She realized that her relationship with her husband was no longer what it used to be. She knew her husband was furious from the first day they got here, and Britney didn't know how to fix their bond… not while their daughter's condition worsened.
"Come on, Britney." invited Anna, her brother-in-law's wife.
With heavy and reluctant steps, Britney followed Anna into one of the rooms.
"This is Kaylee's room during her stay here," Anna said as she walked to the dressing table to get something. "I found this under her bed while cleaning this room. It looks like this was her diary."
Britney looked at the book held by Anna with a heavy heart. She had never seen the book nor knew her daughter liked to keep a diary.
Well, Kaylee liked to sit in the corner reading a book or writing something, but Britney had no idea her youngest daughter would write a diary.
With trembling hands, Britney accepted the book, and her breath hitched. She turned to the first page, and tears rolled down her cheeks.
"This is indeed her handwriting," She couldn't read her daughter's writing clearly because her eyes were now filled with tears.
Her sweet baby girl was no longer in this world, and Britney missed her badly. She wanted to hug her daughters… not only Kaylee but also Roxanne, yet she pushed her eldest daughter away.
And now… Roxy shunned her and didn't want to meet her.
What should she do to make Roxy overcome her suffering? She knew that right now, Roxy and her husband were grieving because she also felt lost. But both of them hated her and didn't let her comfort them.
"I don't know what to do, Anna. It was out of hand, and I felt agony in my heart. My daughter and my husband… It's all my fault."
Anna walked over to her and hugged her tightly while gently rubbing her back.
"I've lost my daughter, and I don't want to lose another one. But I hurted her, and now she's hurting herself." continued Britney with a heartbreaking voice, causing her tears threatened to fall. "I should just die…."
"Hush! You can't talk like that." countered Anna gently. "Your husband needs you, not to mention Roxy. Both of them need you, and thus, you have to be strong."
"But I'm not."
"Yes, you are, Britney. Both of your husband and daughter couldn't hold the bitter reality."
"Neither could I."
"At first, yes. But now you have overcome it, and you are ready to become their stronghold. They need you more than you know. I believe time will heal everything. Just give them some time." coaxed Anna as she let go of her arms. "I will give you some space, and if you need anything, feel free to let me know."
"Thanks."
Anna gave a gentle smile and walked out only to see her husband watched her with a grateful look.
"You are getting better at comforting my sister-in-law."
"I think I'm used to considering my sister in New York."
"Is something happened to her?"
"I heard her daughter had a minor accident. It was nothing, but my niece wouldn't be able to walk for days."
"What?"
Anne only responded to her husband with a sad smile while glancing at the room where her brother-in-law's wife was. She wanted to go to America immediately to comfort her sister, but she couldn't possibly leave Britney alone.
After all, her sister had many people to cheer her up, while Britney… right now she was alone.
"Only time like this, I'm grateful we don't have children," muttered Anna without realizing it.
"Why don't you want to have children?" Pierre had always wanted to have children, but Anna always refused, and he didn't force her either.
"I know who you are. I don't want to have the feeling my sister and sister-in-law have. I'm not strong enough to handle that feeling."
Pierre smiled sadly at her as if he felt guilty. "I'm sorry you married me."
Anna walked to her husband to hug the man's waist. "I don't regret it. Marrying you is the best decision I've ever made."
Pierre smiled a little and lowered his head to peck his wife's lips.
On the other hand, Britney sat on Kaylee's bed and started reading the diary of her dead youngest daughter.
'13 March. Someone bothered me at school for the nth time, and my sister came to help me. Whenever I run into a problem, Roxy is always there to help me… every time. I feel weak and a loser. I wish I were strong and brave enough, like papa. I wish I were born as a guy so that I would never hear comparisons from people.'
'12 April. What will happen if I train hard? Today is the first day of my training with Mr. Allanach. He said I'm weak and not muscular. He even told me not to come to his training room again. Sometimes I felt like that scary man hated me. But, if I don't train, how can I protect myself? How long can I keep relying on my sister?'
'I decided I would become strong. All this time, Roxy had been protecting me and defending me. One day, I'll be able to protect her instead.'
'15 July. Today I managed to beat one of the Brazilian Jiu-jitsu disciples, but as a result, my body was covered in bruises. When I got home, Roxy quickly took the ointment and massaged my body. Well, I didn't tell her I took Brazilian Jiu-jitsu classes secretly, so she thought someone was attacking me.'
'She even blamed herself for not being able to protect me when she herself was often injured when fighting with her friends. I wish I could convince her that whatever happened to me wasn't her fault.'
'21 August. For the umpteenth time, I heard the comparison between us. Sometimes I also feel that my mother flatters my sister. I feel like mama loves Roxy more than me. But… how could she not? Everyone likes Roxy and prefers her to be their companion. Roxy was like sunshine that brought a smile to everyone's face, while me… I was like her shadow that following her around wherever she goes.'
Britney clasped her lips with her still shaking hands, and without realizing it, tears started to drip down her daughter's diary.
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