Chapter 25: My Hero (1)
Chapter 25: My Hero (1)
TL/Editor: Raei
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Song Soo-yeon had fled to Jung-gyeom's studio apartment.
She hadn't even considered going anywhere else.
She needed to be in a place where Jung-gyeom could find her.
She had to wait for him here.
Sitting in the dark, leaning against the bedside, she hugged her knees to her chest.
It wasn't her intention to look pitiful, but she had no desire to change her current state.
If Jung-gyeom walked in, he would see her in this pathetic state.
Then, he would comfort her more.
.............
She checked the time.
It was already past 3 a.m.
Snow was falling outside, and the fierce wind was howling.
......Jung-gyeom hadn't arrived yet.
Song Soo-yeon tapped the floor with her fingernails.
...........
She knew it was a waiting game, but she was anxious.
She feared this might be the end.
If he grew tired of her and finally let go.
If they truly became strangers.
.........Just the thought made Song Soo-yeon's heart twist painfully.
She didn't understand why she felt this way.
Perhaps it was because he was her only ally.
....sigh....sigh...
She clenched her hair.
Pushing away the anxiety.
She knew he would come back.
Because he loved her.
She was always the one who spoke harshly, who got angry.
He was always the one who yielded, who suffered.
It wouldn't change this time.
4 a.m. approaches.
Still, Jung-gyeom hadn't come.
The graduation ceremony was only a few hours away.
Despite eagerly awaiting this moment, Song Soo-yeon couldn't care less about the graduation now.
Sitting in the same position, her back ached, her legs were numb, and she was trembling from the cold.
But she didnt change her miserable posture.
Song Soo-yeon had never tried to look pitiful to anyone before... but now, she couldnt let go of it.
When he opened the door, she didn't want to be seen cozily tucked into the blanket.
She could really give it all back.
Changing homes was fine.
Not taking a single dime was okay.
She just didn't want to distance herself from the restaurant......and from him.
---
---
5 a.m.
Overwhelmed by doubts and unbearable anxiety, Song Soo-yeon turned on her phone.
She debated hundreds of times whether to text Jung-gyeom.
Suppressing her feelings again, she opened the gallery.
She meticulously went through the hundreds of photos of Jung-gyeom.
Photos that would have made her smile under normal circumstances now only felt distant.
She gazed at the most recent photo.
Unlike the others, it was a special one.
A photo of her and him, laughing together.
Song Soo-yeon couldnt take her eyes off that picture.
---
---
Morning came.
I had thought it over all night.
Was I too hasty?
Leaving the restaurant aside, I didn't expect her to cry like that.
Considering our past conversations, it didn't seem like she was crying because she didn't want to part with me.
It was probably the fear of leaving the restaurant and stepping into society that made her so.
Everywhere else had been hostile to her.
".....Haah."
But setting aside the effort to understand her feelings, my own heart ached.
I'll never see her again.
Could there be anything colder than that?
I had thought we had built memories and affection, but to her, was it something she could easily discard?
I kept telling myself not to expect anything in return, but when it came down to it, I did have expectations.
I wanted to be important to someone.
They didnt need to love me, just liking me would be enough.
But it was still hard.
Her affection for me seemed light enough to be easily discarded.
I didn't know.
What Song Soo-yeon really felt.
Maybe she did think I was okay.
It seemed like she was gradually getting closer to me.
But thats a positive interpretation.
Her usual tone and those heartless threats told a different story.
It didnt seem like she particularly liked me.
..........haah...
I let out a sigh.
It felt disheartening, months of effort seemed to be going to waste.
Of course, it's only been a few months, but the feeling of not having progressed even a step compared to before was despairing.
Was this not the right direction?
Was I making another wrong choice?
I was giving it my all, but was it not enough?
............
In times like these, I miss someone.
What would she say if she saw me?
Would she be puzzled by what Im doing, or would she praise me for my hard work?
Solace.
I wonder what you would think.
.....I've come to a conclusion.
I need to go to Song Soo-yeon.
Not for her, but for me.
She might not feel the same way, but I have come to regard her as a friend.
....I didn't want to lose my first friend like this.
I hated such farewells.
I didn't want to drift apart over something so trivial.
If shes not ready yet, then I can give her more time.
Lets try to take care of her a bit more.
Maybe my efforts have been lacking.
Besides, today of all days, I shouldnt be like this.
Its a once-in-a-lifetime graduation ceremony.
I didnt want to leave her with bad memories.
---
---
In the end, Song Soo-yeon spent the night with her eyes wide open.
Jung-gyeom didnt come.
She was already looking to the next step.
Even if he hadnt come to the studio apartment, he would surely come to the graduation ceremony.
She hadnt given up yet.
It couldnt end like this.
She hoped he was more anxious than her, not less.
He might be contemplating, or perhaps out of consideration for her, he didnt come to the room in the early morning.
There's no need to be so afraid. He will come.
To dispel the fear of being left alone again, she turned off the TV she had left on.
[This morning, Solace responded to an attack-]
.......
She took a deep breath and stood up.
Rubbing her dry eyes, she headed to school.
---
---
The sun shone down on the snow-covered athletic field.
The thickly fallen snow reflected the light, twinkling brightly.
The students, bundled up in heavy padding, sat in the chairs placed on the field, listening to the principal's speech.
But Song Soo-yeon wasn't focusing at all.
Her eyes were on the parents.
She was secretly looking for Jung-gyeom.
But no matter how much she searched, she couldn't see him.
While her classmates occasionally waved to their parents they spotted, Song Soo-yeon never got to have that experience.
......
Her heart pounded with increasing anxiety.
Is this really the end?
He's not coming?
Sweat began to form in her hands.
She bit her lips nervously.
Still, she didnt take her eyes off the parents.
He had to be somewhere she hadnt noticed.
Ah, its a shame Solace can't attend my graduation. Why did a villain have to appear today...'
'Well, its graduation anyway. Did you say you got into a school?'
'Wow... Song Soo-yeon looks beautiful even at this moment.'
The chatter around her went unnoticed.
She kept feeling the urge to grab her phone.
Really....he really didnt come?
Everyone, congratulations on your graduation. I hope you all bloom into unique and wonderful flowers.
The principals speech ended.
As everyone stood up and saluted, a thunderous applause erupted.
One by one, the students got up and greeted their approaching parents.
The field quickly became bustling and noisy.
And in the midst of it all, Song Soo-yeon, still unable to grasp the situation, stood alone, motionless.
......
A piercing loneliness, unlike anything she had experienced before, enveloped her.
She realized anew how alone she had been.
Before him, she had never properly understood loneliness.
Having never had someone by her side, she had never fully realized that emotion.
Even if she did, it was at a level that could be forgotten with other thoughts.
But now it was different.
After feeling warmth, his absence made the fall feel even more severe.
Song Soo-yeon looked around.
Smiles and laughter were everywhere.
She felt utterly isolated.
It felt like the string holding her back had snapped.
She couldnt bear it any longer.
She had to go see him.
Song Soo-yeon quickly turned to leave the place.
....Soo-yeon.
Until she heard a voice.
Song Soo-yeon instantly turned towards the direction of the sound.
There stood Jung-gyeom.
He was neatly dressed, holding a large bouquet in his hand.
His expression bore signs of fatigue.
The moment she saw him, she knew.
He too had worried.
And realizing that, Song Soo-yeon felt a great sense of relief.
She wasnt the only one agonizing.
He walked up to her slowly, smiling, and handed her the flowers.
Only then did she feel like everyone else.
She was no longer the lone outsider.
.....Congratulations on your graduation.
His smile was subtly different from usual.
Tinged with yesterdays emotions, it wasnt the pure smile she loved.
She had to hold back her tears from bursting forth.
She felt overwhelmed.
The feeling of relief was fleeting, and soon a sense of resentment exploded.
It was always like this with him.
With others, she couldnt truly feel any emotions.
But with him, she became excessively childish.
She just couldn't keep her composure.
She would be happy over trivial things, and sulk over trivial things.
It was the same now.
Her emotions were amplified as if they were in a magnifier, ready to burst.
Why did he come only now?
Couldnt he have come a bit earlier?
She had waited for him through the night.
Why didnt he come?
Why did he do that, if he liked her?
Song Soo-yeon couldnt react and just glared at him.
She felt like she would start crying if she moved.
....Please take the flowers. Haha.
........
......Im sorry. I was too hasty.
Song Soo-yeon turned away from him.
It was to hide her face, which seemed about to crumble with tears.
It was also to show that she was upset with him.
She couldnt let it go so easily.
She couldnt just crumble and surrender to a mere apology.
That would... reveal that she had been waiting too.
No.
That wasnt it.
She had to make it clear this time.
She needed to teach him a lesson to ensure this wouldnt happen again.
She had to make him not push her away again.
If she let him off too easily, he might do the same thing next time.
....Get lost, damn it.
She said.
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