Wolf King And His Fox Consort [BL]

Xiao Zai got slowly stronger over the next days. The wound on his chest, perilously close to his heart, scabbed over neatly, and it no longer hurt him when he moved, or stretched his muscles.

But even so, his mood was withdrawn and sombre. He didn't talk much, and would only spare Chu Yun the briefest of smiles, before letting the corners of his mouth drop into apathy once again.

It was frustrating for Chu Yun not to know how to help him up out of the emotional slump he was in. He remembered well his own heartbreak, back when they were in Xin, when he thought his parents were so disappointed in him that they no longer loved him -- and his relief to be proved wrong.

Xiao Zai's situation was different, almost opposite, but Chu Yun could imagine the emptiness he felt in the same place that previously had been filled with nothing but tenderness was just as painful.

It was always difficult for a child to realise his parents were human -- regular people capable of regular mistakes, and not the infallible gods a child's mind made them out to be.

Chu Yun was of the opinion that the later that realisation came, the more it hurt.

The pedestal Xiao Zai had put Gu Wei up on all his life was cracked, and Xiao Zai needed to find a way to get used to having his dam on the ground beside him, instead of towering above him like a statue in a temple.

"Maybe you should have a talk with Xiao Yuan," Chu Yun suggested, when they were having a very uncomfortable dinner one night.

Xiao Yuan's sire had used him as a tool all his life, and his mother was so power-hungry as to kill Xiao Ziyi's mother -- only to end up trapped in the Cold Palace, suffering the consequences of Gu Wei's revenge.

If there was someone who understood what it was to have his relationship ruined beyond repair with his parents, it was him.

Neither Xiao Yuan or Xiao Zai knew about Gu Wei's role in the madness that now plagued Xiao Yuan's mother -- and Chu Yun  felt thankful for it -- but it might be good for Xiao Zai to get some perspective.

"What is he going to say to me?" Xiao Zai asked, poking at his food listlessly. "That he saw it coming? Everyone except me expected this kind of behaviour from Gu Wei."

Chu Yun reached across the table to touch the back of his wrist. "That's exactly it. Gu Wei was the person he is now, even when he was protecting you and A-Xiang from Xiao An." He didn't want to sound condescending but he thought it was important that Xiao Zai accept the reality of who is dam was, if he wanted to move past it.

Xiao Zai's gaze lingered on Chu Yun's hand and he finally nodded, returning his attention towards his bowl. "I'll talk with him."

He didn't sound enthusiastic about it, but Chu Yun still hoped he'd go through with it.

---

Xiao Zai only went to have lunch with Xiao Yuan in his estate after Chu Yun suggested he do it for the third time. He was sure there was a fourth in his future if he didn't go soon, so Xiao Zai decided to cut his losses.

His brother welcomed him with a look of as much puzzlement as Xiao Zai felt. Fan Jiang, standing by his side, dressed in fine robes, looked faintly happy to see him.

"I'm glad his Majesty is recovering well," he said later, while pouring the three of them wine.

Xiao Yuan took his filled glass and raised it towards Xiao Zai. "To his Majesty's health."

Both he and Fan Jiang drunk while Xiao Zai thanked them for the toast. His mood wasn't improved by the well wishes, but with the formalities out of the way, Xiao Yuan could relax into the role of brother and talk with him plainly.

"What is this about?" he said, gesturing between him and Fan Jiang. "It's not like we aren't happy to host you--"

"But we never thought you'd want to," Fan Jiang blurted out, interrupting Xiao Yuan who conceded with a nod and an amused smile.

Chu Yun seemed to think that talking with Xiao Yuan would help, so Xiao Zai took a deep breath, and told both of them everything.

They listened in silence, until Xiao Yuan finally leaned back with prolonged sigh. "That's a relief," he said, sparing Fan Jiang a quick smile. "Now at least I know you believe me without any lingering doubt when I say I never did anything untoward against Gu Wei."

Xiao Zai drunk the contents of his cup and then took the clay pitcher to fill it up again. "I've known that...for some time."

He grit his teeth as he said it. He understood Gu Wei's reasoning for clinging on to the lie, and the breathing room it gave them both, back when it seemed like Xiao An was going to kill one or both of them. And of course, A-Xiang -- if it wasn't for the lie, she would never have survived until birth, let alone after it.

"I'm glad then," Xiao Yuan said, smiling widely, and shaking his head when Fan Jiang motioned to pour him another cup. Something Xiao Zai had never seen him do. "I know you probably don't want to hear this but, despite everything, I don't resent Gu Wei."

Xiao Zai met his eyes, expecting to see an uncomfortable trace of lingering sentiment, but there was nothing. Xiao Yuan just looked at peace. "Gu Wei was always kind to me, even though he had no reason to, and I believe that was why my feelings for him grew in the direction they did."

He shrugged, sparing a look towards Fan Jiang who showed no emotion, but got up to his feet as soon as the servants came in with their food, intent on helping them even though he was now master of the house alongside Xiao Yuan -- relieved to have a distraction from the conversation.

"The fact that he rejected me, only fed a bitterness inside me, put there by Xiao An's constant taunts that I wasn't good enough," he shook his head. "My feelings for him weren't healthy, but the genuine kindness he showed me as a child, when he had more than enough reason to despise me, was. I held on to those moments of tenderness like a lifeline."

He accept a bowl from Fan Jiang's hands with an amused chuckle, as if he had just thought of something. "You know, in a way, I'm glad he lied, because I don't know where my madness would have taken me otherwise, if there never was that break between us." He met Xiao Zai's eyes. "In a way, it reminded me that of all the terrible things Xiao An could do to me, the worst of all was turn me into him."

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