Chapter 22: How to let go of sadness
Chapter 22: How to let go of sadness
Ronasso, who had been tapping his stingy chest, stared at Tamon with a warped face.
What ridiculous thing are you talking about?
I was wondering why you would lie for me, even risking your life..When a man does that, isnt it power or love?
Ronasso looked dumbfounded at Tamon, who answered so calmly. He wiped the moisture from his mouth and said with a high-pitched voice.
You are my benefactor and my friend. I cant let you fall into danger by yourself.
It was a beautiful line that sounded like something out of a fairy tale. And yet, somehow, Tamon thought it was like Ronasso.
He was an honest and innocent friend who still harbored romantic feelings even after all that hard work.
For this reason, Tamon believed Ronasso.
Then, as a reward for your life-giving friendship, shall I tell you one of my secrets?
At the word secret, Ronassos ears perked up.
For he did not know how great a burden and obligation this great secret would impose upon him.
Tamon opened his mouth with a devilish smile that teased Ronasso.
Actually.
***
Rosie!
Anna had a lot of freckles when she was little.
When she smiled brightly with her little face full of red freckles, it seemed to brighten the world around her. To Roselyn, Anna was a friend like sunshine.
I like Cain, you know.
Young Anna liked Roselyns brother.
At the time, Roselyn couldnt understand why a girl as pretty and loving as Anna would like her brother.
From Roselyns point of view, her brother was an unsociable, uninteresting man
They met often, with Roselyn between them, and sometimes she saw them smile at each other as they looked into each others eyes. It was a childhood story of a boy and a girl.
But as soon as her brother graduated from the academy, he had to go to Lehelms delegation at the Emperors command.
Lehelm was a place that took two years to get to and from by ship. Her brother returned after three years, and Anna became Countess Puglish in the meantime.
After that, the two did not see each other often.
Only once did Roselyn see her brother looking at Anna from a distance.
At a distance beyond reach, he just looked at her and turned away.
Since then, she had never seen him call Anna or look at her.
He didnt even try to see the other woman.
Ill meet her when the time comes. I hope she will be as kind as you are. Rosie.
Roselyns brother, Count Cainely, said with a smile on his face.
Her brother, who had nothing to do with the emperors lover or tried to harm the emperors child.
Rosie!
Anna, at her happiest and prettiest, sat on a wide mat and called for Roselyn. On the mat, there was also her brother reading a book.
Come on, Ill pour you a really nice cup of tea this time. Ive brought you a snack as well.
Roselyn sat down next to Anna and stared at the red tea that trickled down. Roselyn lifted her cup and stared at the tea.
Suddenly, the tea in the teacup became redder and redder, like blood.
Startled, she dropped the cup and before she knew it, the floor was filled with red blood.
Your Majesty.
Charlotte?
Charlotte, the maid of honor who took care of Roselyn, sat in her torture chair and stared at her. Her limbs were all twisted painfully.
Roselyn rushed over to Charlotte and tried to untie her limbs that were tied to the chair.
Then something plopped down on Charlottes lap. It was her hair.
!
No, this isnt itThis isnt it!
Roselyn stepped back in surprise and felt something touch her back.
My adorable Rosie.
It was her mothers gentle voice.
Your Majesty, you must always be strong.
It was the firm voice of her father.
Roselyn raised her trembling head and looked behind her. Before she knew it, heavy tears flowed down her cheeks. She saw her father without his head and her mother with a hole in her chest.
Roselyn ran. How could life give her hell when she always did her best! She was beyond angry and sad that she wanted to turn away. She wanted to follow them.
Someone caught her as she ran toward the darkness.
If theres no reason to live you can make it. Dont you think so?
His hands cupped her thin cheeks.
It was warm hands.
What do you want? Hatred? Revenge? How about the downfall of Tanatos?
A sweet voice whispered in her ear.
She didnt want any of it.
She just felt lethargic, empty, deflated.
Whats the point of me being alive? And why was I the only one left alive?
Innocent people have died and been injured because of me, but how can I live?
No, Roselyn didnt even want to live.
She just wanted to rest.
What about love?
Love?
Her mind was boggled by so much nonsense talk.
It was even more so because it was something unexpected. And from a man who she had never imagined saying such a thing.
Roselyn raised her head and looked at the man holding her. He was the only man who had color in this terrible gray nightmare. The mans red eyes laughed as he stared straight at her. He reached out with a large hand and cupped her cheek, opened her lips and pushed his hot tongue in. Roselyn was confused. So she thought she should be further away from this man.
The man kept finding her as she tried to escape. Then he pulled her again and kissed her. She hid and he found her, pulling her out of her hiding place.
You have to live.
The mans voice stubbornly followed her.
Until then, I will save you again and again.
Many times.
So many times.
As if she couldnt be left alone to die.
Like someone who doesnt want me to die.
***
Aah!
Roselyn woke up, breathing heavily like someone who just came up from underwater.
When she sat up quickly and touched her face, it was filled with wet tears.
Her forehead was also covered in cold sweat, and her whole body was dripping like someone who had fallen into water.
It was a terrible nightmare. Even now that she was awake, her limbs were shaking.
She looked down at her trembling hands with a blank face.
Her fingers, like tree branches, were so thin that even a child could easily break them. She closed her bitter eyes and opened them.
Her heart, where the blade of grief had cut her, painfully tightened.
The lives, which she could not protect, choked her.
Would it be okay if her heart ached this much? She hit her chest with her small fist.
No matter how hard she hit, they would not come back. She wanted to die, but she couldnt.
As the sadness of the nightmare disappeared for a moment, frustration began to set in. She hated the man for not letting her die at her own wish.
The remorse and regret of surviving as deep as the sadness weighed heavily on her.
Roselyn resented the man for selfishly holding her, selfishly saving her, and selfishly locking her in his place.
At that moment, the door opened with a bang and a group of people came in.
Youre awake!
A bright and cheerful voice brought out her consciousness, which had been dimmed and subdued.
Wow, you have silver hair.
Hello, Im here to serve the Young Lady with the masters order.
Not one, not two, but three women flocked to Roselyns bed. Two were twins and a middle aged woman.
Before Roselyn had time to react in any way, she was instantly surrounded by them, and she blinked at the brown-skinned woman watching her at her side.
She looked very much like someone Roselyn knew.
Kanya?
Kanya? Kanya! It means kind in our language. Its a beautiful word. Oh, hello. Im Asrell.
Asrell smiled happily and looked at Roselyns complexion.
This large woman with slightly sallow skin, light green eyes, was an Athesian.
A wandering nomad whose land was stolen by the Empire.
They were a tragic race that sold as slaves to the lowest of the low, due to their strong, healthy bodies and somewhat laid-back ethnicity.
Today, slavery was mostly gone, but the treatment for them was still not good. It was because it had not completely disappeared to the customs and perceptions.
The Sunset family also had an Athesian servant.
Kanya, who was Roselyns nurse and had carried her on her back since she was a child.
The tears that had been choking her began to well up once more. She stared blankly at the middle-aged woman, who was trying to help her up.
Are you still feeling unwell? Do you still feel sleepy? Would you like a glass of cold water?
The light green-eyed woman that comforted Roselyn with her gentle touch was familiar.
The moment her large hand touched Roselyns forehead, the tears in her hazy eyes spilled over.
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