Vigor Mortis

Chapter 14: Hugs at Home

It was a surreal feeling to be walking home to say goodbye. I had to tell the family Id be gone; hopefully the kids hadnt gotten too reliant on me bringing food every day. The difference between home and the guild always startled me. It was like stepping into a whole different world, and now that I was part of the new one, I could never truly return. Some other urchin tried to steal my money pouch on the way. How often had I been the opposite end of that very interaction? I ran him down easily, my weakness of the past dropping further and further away. I felt like Id betrayed something when I had to kick him to the floor to get my stuff back. It was easy, even with my hands full of food. I didnt kick that hard, so hopefully he wouldnt even bruise. Hopefully.

I give him a small bread roll when he hands me my money back, telling him to eat it slowly. I needed that cash for my family, but well, I wouldnt just become another Grig. I arrive home shortly afterwards, settling into routine. The usual tackles and hugs from the kids, followed by the usual distribution of food, and then finally the markedly unusual disappointment that Orville hadnt joined me. He did most days, but I didnt want to bother him right before the teams first hunt.

When the kids all had food in their hands, Lyn emerged from the shack as well, her usual goofy grin replaced with a smile of pure pride. She walked over and hugged me tightly, letting the embrace linger.

Vita, she murmured. Thank you so much. Youve truly been a lifesaver these past couple weeks.

Literally? I ask, raising an eyebrow. That was an important sort of clarification.

She grimaces.

...Maybe. Ive kind of been relying on you. The Broken Drakens seem to think that the help youre giving me means I have more time for them.

I scowl. Were they trying to keep us all starving?

...Well, make sure you tell them I wont be able to help for a while. Im going on my first hunt tomorrow.

Lyns eyes go wide, a worried expression marring her freckled face.

Really? That's so soon! They're going to send you out after only a couple weeks of training? Are things okay at the guild?

The way we were told, we were being sent because our team was a perfect fit for the job, I answer, shrugging. I dont know if theres more to it, but the work does seem to be tailored for our team. Plus, Remus will be with us, and hes crazy powerful. I think itll be fine. My guess is that Ill be away for the next five days. You can count on me coming back richer and stronger.

Lyn takes a deep breath before leaning down and scooping me up into another hug. It startled me so much that I almost grabbed for my spear, but legs dangling, I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her back instead.

You can count on the Drakens taking every last cent, she whispered softly in my ear. They just want to use me. Theres no intention of letting us pay off the debt.

Damn. I had been afraid of that.

They should know better than to steal from thieves, I whisper back.

Tread carefully, Vita, she answers. They dont control all this by chance.

I nod and she puts me back down.

So! Wow. Your first big hunt, huh? Lyn says, her usual goofy grin back on her face. Dont be making me cry now, Vita. The boys already joke that Im a mom.

Well, she totally was a mom, but I dont know if its a good idea to tell her that. Shed raised most of these kids, and even if Ive only been with her a year she was the closest thing to family I had. Honestly, Ive always wondered

Lyn, why do you do all this? I ask. Like all the charity stuff. Its weird.

She puffed out her cheeks a little, blowing out air.

Well thats a doozy of a question, isnt it? Why do you do it?

I blink. What the heck was she talking about?

I owe you. I promised.

Nah, she said, waving dismissively. You dont owe me shit, Vita. Thats what charity means. Ill damn well take the help, but if you never wanted to come back here I wouldnt be surprised or disappointed. Nothing is actually stopping you from keeping it all, ya know? So why do you do it?

Why was she pointing this out? Was this some kind of test?

Im not really asking about me, I protest.

Your answer is part of my answer, she responds smugly. Come on, humor me, kiddo.

Mnot a kiddo, I grumble, thinking.

Lyn is the whole reason Im doing any of this. Shes the whole reason Im even alive! It seems like such a stupid question, but its still so hard to answer.

I just dont think I could live with myself if I screwed you over, I eventually say.

Thats kind of the heart of it, yeah, Lyn answers, nodding. We have to live with ourselves, or we die. Physically or otherwise. Im a thief, kid. I dont know if I can not be a thief. Theres nothing better than that rush of outmaneuvering everyone and running off into the night. But way back when I started to think am I a bad person for feeling that way? Im a criminal, for sure. I make my living by screwing other people over. That eats at me. So I start to steal from those who I think deserve it. Assholes, hoarders, the kind of folk that keep the little people down. But it still eats at me. Im still just some bitch that steals to steal. So one day I get the bright idea to give it all away.

She indicates me, the shack, the kids themselves who are each paying rapt attention to the story. Lyn doesnt talk about her past. None of us do.

And hey! Now Im providing for starving orphan kids. Now I feel good. Im all cool and superior to everyone I steal from. Thats what you all are, my little excuses.

She shrugs. I frown.

But you care about us, right?

More than anything in the world, she answers seriously. I would do anything for you goobers. Anything at all. It surprised me! I didnt expect to get so attached.

I swallow, holding back on the urge to hug her again.

L-likewise, I choke out. Please stay safe while Im gone, Lyn.

Hey! Thats my line! she laughs. I dont know what Id do if something happened to you.

Well, I know exactly what Im going to do if something happened to her. I really, really hope it doesnt come to that. Lyns smile drops a little.

Hey. No need to make that kind of face, Vita. Ill be just fine. You focus on yourself, okay? Ill give Rowan your love. I dont think hell be back before you go.

Aww, that sucked. Oh well, Id hug him when I get back.

Thanks, Lyn. For everything. I just I just wanna say

I trail off, the words catching in my throat. How could I express this to her?

We know that were not just excuses, Lyn. Youre a good person. Maybe Im not like the right person to judge that. But youre the best person I know, Lyn. Please dont forget that.

A look of surprise stole her smile for a moment before it returned twofold.

Oh, Vita! Come here, you!

She grabbed me again, lifting me up and giving me a massive squeeze.

Youre the best kid a girl could ever ask for!

Still with the kid stuff? All right, thats it. If she was gonna keep on that, I have to fight back.

Well, youre the best mom a girl could ask for.

Ack! she yelped. C-come on, Vita! Arent I more like an older sister?

Nope, I say firmly. Mom. Youre mom now.

She drops me, clutching her heart dramatically.

Oh, such betrayal from one of my own! It wounds me! It wounds me deep!

Hey mom, since youre my mom and all, I start, watching with amusement as she pretends to have a spasm, Our teams biomancer told me to ask you something. Whats menstruation?

She pauses, raising an eyebrow. Then she grins. Oh no, she was going to counter my counter!

Really? I figured youve been taking care of it all this time! Yknow, since youre not a kid and all.

...Lyn, I warn.

Okay, okay! she says, laughing. Then she slaps herself on the groin. Its when blood comes out of your woo-woo!

I blink.

...Are you messing with me? I ask.

She frowns, deflating a little.

Huh. Youre serious. Uh, well, no. Not messing. Come on downstairs, Ill show you some stuff, I guess. Is yours really just starting?

I head down with her, where she proceeds to explain to me the horror that is female puberty. Its full of a concerning amount of mights and maybes, but I soak up the information as well as I can. It makes my head spin a little. All women really go through this? How had I not known? Its a good thing I asked or else I would have freaked the fuck out when it started happening. Eventually, the explanation was over and the two of us moved on to other topics, but there was a lot to think about there. Ugh. Maybe I could get out of it if I turned myself into a revenant or something.

Oh, I meant to mention earlier. Squigs and Frigs came after me last week and basically told me to pay them money later.

Yeah, I heard, Lyn answered, scowling. I almost gutted the both of them when they told me about it. Be careful with them, Vita. Youre lucky the fat one likes you.

They dont really seem that strong, I comment.

Theyre not the strongest, she hedges. Get them in a fair fight and you might survive it. The issue is that if they actually want to come after you, you wont see them coming. But if you just off them preemptively, youre gonna have the whole guild on your ass

Ill keep that in mind, I say. Its kind of weird having someone as happy and upbeat as you give me murder advice, though.

Yeah, well, its kind of weird that someone as tiny and cute as you calls my warning of caution murder advice. Are you sure youve been doing okay?

I have food now, I answer simply.

Theres more to life than food, Vita.

Tell that to the starving.

I stand up, stretching. It would be dark soon. Lyn walks over and gives me another hug, taking that as the goodbye it was. I happily return the embrace, squeezing her as tightly as I can.

Good luck out there, she says. Ill be worrying about you the whole time youre gone, so be sure to come back here as soon as you can, okay?

Okay, I promise.

I head back up the ladder, say goodbye to the kids, and return to the guildhouse just before dark. Norah is already snoring when I arrive in the room, Penelope burning the midnight oil to concentrate on her rats. Im sure whatever shes doing takes intense concentration and skill, but to me it just looks like shes holding a rodent and having a staring contest with it. It takes quite a bit of effort to suppress my urge to laugh at that, but I succeed.

With both my teammates occupied, I suppose I should try to get some rest before the big day. Undressing and plopping onto bed, I cuddle up with Rosco and follow Norah to dreamland.

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