Vaudevillain

Chapter 67: Poor Form

Dr. Zlo leaned on his cane as Oro walked forward, "Well, I'm not normally one to stick to the sidelines, but I guess I can't always steal the show."

The golden hero brought his fist up in a boxer's stance, "You ready?"

The villain raised a hand, "Hold on a second."

Oro paused, waiting for Dr. Zlo. The villain rested his cane on his leg and rolled the cuffs up on his sleeves.

"For a second, I thought you were going to try a surprise attack," Oro said.

"I thought about it, but figured you wouldn't fall for such a cheap trick."

"You'd be right."

Oro brought his hands back up, and Dr. Zlo twisted the knob on his cane. The golden hero shifted forward, trying to step into range.

Dr. Zlo laughed, "You fool!" He fired the adhesive from his cane at Oro's feet. The hero jumped back, escaping the shot by inches. Dr. Zlo fired another glob, only to curse as Oro shifted to the left.

"Hold still!"

"Has that honestly ever worked?"

"I'll never tell!" the doctor said. He kept firing the cane haphazardly, keeping Oro back and erecting a small mound of the white adhesive between them.

"How much of that stuff is in there anyway?" Oro asked. As he spoke, Dr. Zlo's cane sputtered, and the last of the adhesive shot out in small bursts.

"Curses!" Dr. Zlo yelled.

Seeing the opening, Oro dashed forward. He performed a small jump over the mound of adhesive to move into range. Dr. Zlo smiled, hands grasping the taffy gun he pulled out of his inventory. The villain pulled the trigger and cackled as a ball of taffy flew toward the golden hero.

"Ohcrap!' Oro said, words merging together as he dove to the side. On landing, the man instinctively rolled before jumping back to his feet. The thud that came from his left confirmed Oro's instincts, and the man smiled at Dr. Zlo as he jumped to his feet.

"Nice try," he said.

Dr. Zlo pulled a button off of his jacket, "Just die!"

The villain tossed the button grenade at Oro's feet, expecting the hero to react with panic. Instead, Oro stomped right down on top of the weapon and leaned forward. The explosion ripped through the asphalt and shot the hero into the air toward Dr. Zlo.

This time, it was the villain's turn to panic as Oro landed in a roll right next to Dr. Zlo. The golden hero jabbed at the villain, causing him to stumble back. Dr. Zlo responded with a blast from his laser. Oro ignored the shot, smirking as the laser refracted off his body.

"Turns out I'm pretty durable," said the golden hero.

"But are you fireproof?" Dr. Zlo asked, storing the taffy gun and pointing his cane. A blast of fiery liquid sprayed out. It splashed onto Oro, igniting the man's shirt but otherwise doing no harm. The hero grabbed the burning shirt and tossed it to the ground, exposing his gleaming golden chest underneath.

"Looks like I am," the hero commented. He jabbed at Dr. Zlo again, this time connecting with the villain's torso.

A wince of pain shot through Dr. Zlo as his health dropped. Oro followed up with a quick combo of punches, shrinking the villain's health bar. Dr. Zlo responded with more laser fire from his monocle, but each shot bounced off the hero with no apparent effect.

Oro took one more step, bringing him within centimeters of Dr. Zlo. The golden hero grabbed at Dr. Zlo's shoulder and prepared a punch. Knowing getting caught meant he'd lose, Dr. Zlo activated his rocket shoes. Oro's hand missed Dr. Zlo by a hair's breadth as the villain launched into the air.

"You know," Dr. Zlo said, now safely away from the hero. "I've been going about this all wrong."

The golden hero prowled around on the ground like a wildcat hunting for prey, "How's that?"

"I've never been one for fighting. It's always so much easier to let others do that type of work for me. Yet, I keep finding myself in situations where fighting seems mandatory."

Oro grabbed at a loose piece of gravel and chucked it at Dr. Zlo, "That's kind of the nature of superheroes, isn't it. Constant fights against each other."

"And I look like a stumbling amateur doing it," Dr. Zlo commented. "That's nowhere near the level of class I require. No, I figure my role in fights like these is as a distraction."

"So what? You're going to float up there and wait out the fight? Boring."

Dr. Zlo scoffed, "You have no mind for strategy. This is only a tactical retreat. And now I'm in a position where you can't strike me."

"You'll run out of fuel for those boots sometime," Oro said. "And I'm confident that nothing you have can break my defenses."

Dr. Zlo readied the taffy gun in his inventory and switched the firing mode over to sticky. "I don't need to break you," the villain said. "I only need to hold you down."

The villain swooped and fired off two quick shots. The cannon's wax lips made a chewing motion, then spat out a wad of sticky taffy straight at the hero. Oro juked left, evading the shots and throwing another piece of gravel at Dr. Zlo. The doctor twisted in the air around the projectile and popped off another blast. The ball of taffy forced Oro back as it splatted onto the ground.

Seeing that one invention wouldn't cut it, Dr. Zlo flew back into the air and twisted the knob on his cane one more time. The villain then pulled out his taffy cannon, holding it in one hand. In his other hand, Dr. Zlo pointed his cane down.

"Let's see what you got," Oro taunted.

"Oh, more than you would expect," Dr. Zlo replied.

The villain started with a blast of fire from his cane. The blue liquid streamed out, and Oro moved to the side to dodge. Dr. Zlo's other hand fired a burst of taffy right after, forcing Oro to dodge again. The villain kept up the assault with both weapons, surrounding Oro with his frictionless gel. Once the gel encircled the hero, Dr. Zlo focused on firing his taffy cannon, shrinking Oro's area of mobility.

"Smart," the hero said. "I'm assuming the circle is some sort of acid or weapon."

"Step on it and find out," Dr. Zlo taunted. The villain fired off another ball of taffy, shrinking Oro's safe space even further.

Seeing he would have to make a decision, Oro decided to trust in his power and brave whatever weapon Dr. Zlo used to encircle him. The hero leaped over the taffy balls on the floor and prepared himself for whatever assault the villain had in store. When his foot slipped on the gel, Oro realized what happened.

"Sneaky b*stard!" he cursed. The hero's leg gave out from under him, and Oro slid uncontrollably.

"Hah! My genius wins again!" Dr. Zlo gloated. He fired a shot of taffy, aiming at the spot where Oro would land.

But firing a weapon with one hand makes a person inaccurate, and Dr. Zlo's shot went slightly wide. The taffy impacted onto the ground next to Oro as he slid off the gel. The two looked at the sticky ball lying next to the hero, then Oro turned back to Dr. Zlo, "Looks like you should work on your aim, genius."

Dr. Zlo slapped the gun with his cane, "This defective machine! How dare its aim be off when I am in the middle of victory!"

Oro ignored Dr. Zlo's complaints. Instead, he took the time to look around the battlefield. He frowned as he saw Titan stuck inside the gelatin slime, and frowned more when he saw the surfer villain boarding over to him. In the distance, Rampart protected the Science Center from attacks while Merla charged up a large spell to use on the cake monster. It seemed Oro would need to spend a bit more time on his own.

"Alright, come at me then," the hero muttered. He would buy enough time for Merla to blast the pound cake to pieces, and then the three of them could free Titan and win this fight.

Riptide flew over to Dr. Zlo, who was still berating his cannon, "Dude, I'm ready to rip some heroes to pieces. Dream said you might need my disintegration gun."

The villain looked up from his assault on the weapon, "Yes! Perfect! Use your gun to break this hero into little pieces!" Dr. Zlo readied the taffy cannon again, the wax lips looking a bit deformed, "I'll follow up."

"Two versus one," Oro said. "Doesn't seem very fair."

"Since when has the world ever been fair?" Dr. Zlo questioned.

"Well, you're right about that," Oro said. He crouched low, keeping himself ready.

When Riptide's first ray blast shot out, Oro twisted to the side and sprinted away from the various gels and adhesives around. If he could escape, neither villain would be able to pin him down for long. Dr. Zlo tried to stop him with another blast from his taffy cannon, but his repeated beatings had switched the firing mode from sticky to solid. The cannonball of taffy struck against the hero's legs and bounced away.

"Useless machine!" yelled the villain.

Luckily, the force of the blow caused Oro to stumble a bit, giving Riptide enough time to reposition and fire again. This time the blue beam struck Oro in the arm, shaving away the hero's health.

"That actually hurt," said the hero. He immediately reprioritized Riptide as the more significant threat. If the surfer got a solid hit in, Oro could see himself going down.

Riptide continued surfing circles around Oro, trying in vain to get another hit in. The hero made sure to keep the surfer in his vision, make unpredictable movements to keep Dr. Zlo from finding a good target.

"I can't hit him, dude!" Riptide yelled.

"Keep trying! He'll get tired eventually!" Dr. Zlo yelled.

A blinding blast of light from behind the villains paused their assault. The two flinched and turned, expecting to see something strike them. Instead, both villains caught the tail end of Merla's charged blast of magic boring a hole through the cake monster.

The beam of light pierced through the pound cake and continued on its journey. Unluckily for the villains, that meant straight toward Sil's gelatin slime. Sweet Dream jumped off the slime, dashing away as fast as she could. The beam of light scraped by her but pierced straight through the slower gelatin. Green goo splashed everywhere as the monster exploded. Titan stood from the wreckage, body smoking and a little singed.

"Merla! Watch where you're shooting!" the hero yelled. "What if you hit someone that wasn't as durable as me!"

"Oh, what are you complaining for?" Merla shot back. "You got beat by a little girl!"

"And if the civilian got caught in the blast?"

"Well, it didn't, did it?"

"He didn't Merla. Remember--"

"Civilians are people too. I know," Merla mocked. She landed next to the giant hero, Rampart not far behind.

Sweet Dream stood, cut off from her companions as the three heroes landed near her. "I don't suppose you'd let us leave?" The villainess asked.

"Not today," Titan said. "You will be captured and charged for your crime of assaulting this science center."

"It wasn't like I wanted to do it anyway," Sweet Dream sulked, "All I wanted was the candy."

Titan opened his mouth to reply, but the revving of an engine and someone screaming caught everyone's attention.

"Boss! We gotta go!"

The entire group turned to see Cass waving at Dr. Zlo from the truck. A mob of silver robots chased after, each holding a metallic rifle of some kind.

"Destroy Dr. Zlo!" the mob shouted.

"What the h*ll?" Rampart and Sweet Dream both said. The two turned to look at each other.

"Someone have a problem with your friend?" Rampart asked.

"Oh that piece of sh*t," Sweet Dream cursed. "Sorry guys, I think we need to call off the rest of this PvP. It looks like an old friend of Dr. Zlo's is calling."

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