Unintended Immortality

Chapter 85: The Unreliable Clever Immortal



Unlike the legitimate gods of the Heavenly Palace, demonic shrines and evil cults were bound by different rules. For the requests of their followers, as long as they fell within their duty and were reasonable, they could not easily refuse.

Undo the spell? He didn't even know what kind of spell it was, having never seen it before, so how could he undo it?

The only option was to seek out the Daoist priest.

Firstly, the practitioner of the spell would surely know how to break it. Secondly, most of these spells had a common solution: if the practitioner died, the spell was naturally undone.

The Daoist priest had been exceedingly rude, attempting to sabotage his worship even though he had done nothing to provoke him. This was truly detestable.

Now was the time when people were most deeply asleep, and Song You coincidentally came here to look for him.

It was an opportunity to teach Song You a lesson and vent out his anger, to let this young Daoist priest understand the consequences of his actions. Additionally, it would force him to undo the spell. If he refused, then resorting to lethal means would be necessary.

Of course, all of this depended on the Daoist priest’s level of skill. If the Daoist's skill were high, they would simply turn and leave.

Climbing walls was a trivial task for a rat, and it would attract no attention when a rat changed back to its original form. Even if it was accidentally discovered, hiding was an innate skill for survival and food. Even gods from the Heavenly Palace would find it difficult to distinguish it from an ordinary rat. Otherwise, it would have been captured long ago.

Which household did not have rats at night?

The gray rat quickly climbed up to the second floor, walking along the window ledge. The window had been left open, so it carefully peered inside and then jumped into the room.

The Daoist priest was sleeping soundly.

“Heh…” The big gray rat moved forward a couple of steps and suddenly stopped, sensing something was wrong.

Uh-oh! There was one strand of cat hair! The Clever Immortal instinctively shivered.

This was a reflexive reaction. In truth, with its current level of cultivation and the incense offerings it had received, it was well beyond the reach of ordinary cats. Usually, people would avoid cats, so encountering a cat hair in the middle of the night while sneaking around might easily startle someone.

The rat looked left and looked right. Fortunately, it seemed that the cat wasn't in the room. Maybe it had gone out to play, or perhaps it was hunting other mice.

Poor mice...

The gray rat shook its head silently, once again suppressing its own rat-like presence and deciding to be even more cautious. Otherwise, the cat, being both alert and curious, might come running at the slightest sound at night. Even if it couldn’t deal with it, it could wake up the little Daoist.

Thus, it looked ahead and behind.

“...!”

Right behind, less than half a foot away, was a cat’s head! The gray rat shuddered, almost jumping up in fright.

In the dim light, it saw a calico cat, with a sleek and graceful figure. Its eyes shone brightly like two bells, emitting a cold light that was truly terrifying in the rat’s eyes.

Hiss…

The gray rat took a deep breath, trying to force itself to calm down, and prepared to blow out some yellow smoke to drive the cat away.

“Who are you?” It was a soft, low voice that seemed to be trying not to wake anyone.

“...!” Uh-oh! It was a cat demon!

Seeing a cat was already frightening enough for a rat. With its cultivation and skills, it could barely keep calm. Now hearing the cat speak and say that it was a demon, the gray rat couldn’t control its fear any longer. At this moment, there was nothing else on its mind. Its already limited intelligence seemed to have vanished, and all that mattered was turning and running. ɽ

The four paws skidded on the ground. One paw caught its own tail, as it struggled to free itself. One paw grabbed its waist, as it struggled to free itself!

Just as it ran a couple of steps, another punch landed, and it felt like flying through the air, flipping several times.

“...!”

The large gray rat finally stopped, turned its head to look at the calico cat. It slowly backed away, retreating to the corner of the wall. The instinct for survival made it both more composed and more aggressive.

Ptooey!” It spat out a mouthful of black water, aiming straight at the cat’s head.

However, the cat stood still, and with a slight tilt of its head, the black water missed her.

Ptooey!”

Ptooey!”

Ptooey!”

Three consecutive spits, and not a single one hit the mark.

The cat remained silent, easily evading each attack. She even had the leisure to look back and see where the black water landed.

This was a good opportunity!

Whoosh…

A puff of gray smoke spread rapidly forward, about to reach the cat’s head. However, as soon as the gray smoke advanced by an inch, the cat pulled its head back just a bit—neither more nor less. Only when the head had been pulled back as far as it could go and the body was arched back as far as possible did it leisurely hop to the side. It effortlessly avoided the gray smoke, and all this happened in an instant.

“This…”

It was truly unsurprising.

The gray rat had other tricks. When facing other people, it could immobilize them with a gaze. However, despite staring at the cat several times, the cat only tilted her head.

The gray rat felt utterly defeated, lamenting the unfairness of the world. How could a rat contend with a cat!

The cat, still unperturbed, sat down where she was and watched the gray rat with a curious gaze. She even deliberately turned her head away or looked down to lick her paws while secretly glancing at him.

How cruel it was to the rat!

The gray rat took a deep breath, its belly swelling up, and then spat out a large cloud of gray smoke. The gray smoke spread widely, leaving nowhere to escape.

Whoosh…

A burst of flame illuminated the room.

“This is a good opportunity!” The gray rat didn’t hesitate and ran back, jumping onto the window ledge and leaping down.

Unbeknownst to it, the Daoist priest had already woken up. The calico cat glanced back at him and immediately walked forward and hopped up to the window ledge, jumping down with elegant movements.

In no time, she returned with a gray rat in her mouth. The rat struggled non-stop and squeaked in protest.

The oil lamp in the room was lit, casting shadows on the walls. The calico cat placed the rat on the floor in front of the bed and then stared at the Daoist priest with unblinking eyes.

“Thank you, Lady Calico.”

“You’re welcome.”

The calico cat then withdrew, sitting aside to watch the commotion.

Squeak…

The gray rat rolled on the ground a few times before stabilizing itself. It lay on the ground, looking around to its left and right. Seeing the cat sitting aside and following her gaze up, it finally saw the Daoist priest sitting cross-legged on the bed.

The Daoist priest had a youthful and refined appearance, wearing a casually draped robe, and his hair was disheveled. He looked like he had just woken up, yet he showed no sign of surprise.

The big gray rat’s eyes darted around, and it looked up at the Daoist priest.

The Daoist priest met its gaze with indifference and spoke gently, “Even in such a state, you still dare to be rude to me?”

“...!” The gray rat was startled, quickly averting its gaze.

It then stood up, bowing to the Daoist priest. “I was ignorant and did not recognize your esteemed presence. I beg your pardon for any offense.”

“May I ask which god you are?”

“I-I’m just a minor demon…”

“It’s fine. An illegitimate god is still a god.”

“I dare not call myself a god.”

“I originally intended to visit you again outside the east of the city tomorrow, but I did not expect that you would come to find me tonight. It seems that the saying ‘timid as a mouse’ does not apply to you.”

Song You shook his head and said, “I have not yet formally introduced myself to you, which is quite rude. My surname is Song, my given name is You, and my style name is Menglai. I am a man from the mountains of Lingquan County in Yizhou, traveling here by chance. I happened to meet one of your followers and heard of your name.”

“...!” The gray rat was once again startled and terrified.

Quickly thinking, it cupped its hands again. “Since you are a master, you must be traveling the world to promote good and eliminate evil, as well as vanquishing demons and malevolent forces. Though I am but an illegitimate god, I have not committed any great sins. Please, have mercy and spare me. I will certainly mend my ways and do good from now on.”

After a pause, it said, “Moreover, in Pingzhou, with its six prefectures and forty-eight counties, there are countless minor demons and monsters like me. Even if you intend to clear them all, it would be impossible. I am merely following the trend. Please, spare me and show mercy.”

“You misunderstand.”

“Hmm?”

“I am merely traveling down the mountain, doing things as I see fit. I do not specifically set out to punish evil and promote good or exterminate demons. I only strive to act in a way that is true to my own heart, and any acts of punishing evil and promoting good are done according to my own inclinations,” Song You said gently.

“I am not a Daoist priest. I do not revere the Heavenly Palace, nor do I take it upon myself to clear out immoral temples and wicked shrines. Just like the cat immortal you mentioned, named Lady Calico, she was once a cat immortal.”

“Your Excellency, you did not specifically come here to clear out immoral temples and wicked shrines, nor to promote good and eliminate evil?” The light in the great gray rat's eyes brightened slightly.

“I’m not here specifically for that, but it doesn’t mean that I won’t do that.”

“Your Excellency…” The great gray rat repeatedly kowtowed.

“You flatter me.”

“Since you do not take it upon yourself to cleanse immoral temples and evil shrines, nor do you come specifically to promote good and eliminate evil or to exterminate demons, please show mercy and spare me.”

“It is you who cannot spare yourself,” Song You said. “Although immoral temples and evil shrines are undesirable, if you, like Lady Calico, did more good deeds, I would certainly not have noticed.

“However, those you protect are exactly the most hated villains in this city, aiding and abetting evil and demonic gods. I happened to meet one of your followers, which means we were fated to meet. Even if you had not come tonight, I would have sought you out tomorrow.”

The gray rat said, “I will certainly amend my ways!”

“Actually, I have recently acquired an item that can guide people toward good. If you had not come to find me, I might have used it on you. However, since you came with ill intentions, that is no longer possible,” Song You said. “It is not easy for demons and monsters to cultivate. I only need to communicate this to you, and you should understand.”

“Then… Then what is your intention?”

“Wicked shrines and immortal temples fall under the jurisdiction of the Heavenly Palace. Your good or evil will be judged by the Heavenly Palace, and the results will be decided by the Heavenly Palace. I do not wish to involve myself further,” Song You said.

He continued, “But I do not worship gods nor possess the ability to summon them at will. I will have to trouble you to stay here for the night. I will ask you to visit a nearby temple tomorrow.”

“…” The gray rat collapsed onto the ground.

***

The next morning was clear and sunny. The shopkeeper yawned, massaged his waist, and sat down at the entrance to breath in the fresh morning air.

Footsteps approached from behind. Looking back, he saw the young gentleman from the previous day.

“Good morning, sir,” the shopkeeper greeted with a smile. “Would you like something to eat? We have mantous, pancakes, soup noodles, and soy milk this morning. They’re all cheap and tasty.”

“Thank you, but I plan to take a stroll this morning and come back for lunch,” Song You replied with a smile. “By the way, could you tell me where the nearest temple is and which cloth merchant in town is skilled?”

“Just turn left when you go out, and there’s a temple worshiping the Great Emperor and other gods. The incense there is cheap too,” the shopkeeper said, thinking for a moment. “As for cloth, they’re all pretty much the same and priced similarly. You can go to Huabu Alley on the east side of the city to choose. If you picked some cloths that you like, there are many tailors on the street, and Third Lady Jiang from the Jiang family is the best.”

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me…” The shopkeeper paused. “By the way, did you hear anything unusual last night?”

“I think there were rats?”

“Is that so?”

“I only heard the sound of rats.”

“That’s strange…” The shopkeeper scratched his head, feeling puzzled.

His sleep was light due to his age. Near dawn, he seemed to faintly hear some conversation about immortals and gods. However, it was hard to make out clearly although he tried to listen closely. And when he opened his eyes, the sounds had vanished, leaving him unsure if it was just a dream.

Reflecting on it now, it might have been a dream after all. Sometimes, it was hard to distinguish dreams from reality.

“Have a good day, sir!”

“Alright.”

“I’ll be waiting for you at noon…”

“Okay.” With that, the gentleman walked far away, while the cat was still following behind.

The shopkeeper continued to massage his waist with the back of his hand but squinted, feeling that the voices he had heard last night sounded very familiar. One of them seemed to resemble the gentleman’s voice.

A customer walked out.

“Good morning, sir.”

“Morning, shopkeeper…”

“What would you like to eat?”

“A bowl of soup noodles.”

“Coming right up!”

“Did you hear any unusual sounds last night?”

“…”

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