Chapter 173 Is It Always Like This?
The request to talk was not what anyone in the room expected to hear from Scarlet, especially not when she had just regained consciousness. They all thought they would have to handle the issue with kid gloves, tip toeing around it and her like very fragile glass that could shatter at any second.
The room was silent, extremely quiet like a cemetery as no one had a clue what to say first, not even Carolyn to whom Scarlet was addressing directly.
"Can we have some privacy please?" She further went on to request politely. Despite the reassuring smile on her face, no feet were being shuffled but all stood or sat exactly where they had been.
"No." Adler broke what could easily be a stalemate between the family and Scarlet. They were unwilling to leave and she unwilling to give in. There had been enough tiptoeing to go around and perhaps, if Carolyn had come out directly and shared her grievances with Scarlet, all this terrible madness could have been avoided. She was at peace with herself now and she desired for it to stay this way so the talk was necessary.
"What do you mean, no?" She asked Adler. "We have had this talk brother, princess no more, remember?" She reminded him of their conversation without going into details to include everyone in on it. "This talk is going to happen, whether you approve or not. As a matter of fact we need to talk more about such things in the family. We sweep a lot of things under the rag in order to maintain our perfect family harmony but that doesn't heal bleeding hearts. I betrayed Carolyn and forgot about it, my apology back then was general. It never specified any event, I broke all your hearts individually and I should have apologized the same way, individually." Scarlet stood up abruptly but she felt a bit woozy and the urge to vomit announced itself. She covered her mouth and stumbled into the bathroom, retching her guts out into the sink. Esong followed her inside and he patted her bark as she emptied the contents of her stomach out. When there was nothing left to vomit, she rinsed her mouth and used that teeth cleaning spray to clean her mouth. She also used some soap to wash her face and pat it dry before giving herself a look in the mirror. Her hair, she realized had been cut short by someone that was probably trying to fix the mess she made of herself. The previously waist length black hair only came to her jaw now. She touched it and looked at it with a saddened gaze before laughing dryly.
"I think you look better like this," Esong whispered to her. "New you, new hair, maybe it's something you needed to do. In rehabilitation after suffering from regression of mental strength, mecha warriors are told to throw out their old uniforms and mechas in order to detach from their confines. Consider your hair an old uniform or old mecha that you got rid of because it was part of your past and you must look to the future."
He was trying to help in a way he understood things and she appreciated it. But given how often he tugged on her hair when they were in bed, or how often he run his hands through it, helped her wash it or blow dry it, he was probably going to miss it more than she would. But he was leaving anyway and when he returned, it would be long again. Perhaps she would change the color to silver to match his or white like Lythia's. But for now, she was going to turn it into a short bob.
The women on the Sun star loved to copy her style of dressing and her hair. But on this world were long hair was seen as a symbol of femininity and beauty, what would they think about her short unusual hair? Would it be a hit or a miss?
"Does it ever work?" She asked Esong. "Do the warriors who throw out old uniforms and mechas move on?"
His head tilted to both sides, "Some more than others. There are those to whom the title mecha warrior is everything and when it's gone, so is the meaning in their lives. To such men, no amount of thrown out mechas or uniforms can help. The darkness tends to descend on them very quickly, devouring them from the inside. We have hospitals filled with many such men and every year after winter we add more."
She sighed and chose not to comment on the darkness or the over filled hospitals and sighed rather loudly.
"I am okay, it's just hair." She assured him. She turned around to exit the bathroom but he grabbed her hand, stopping her from leaving by pulling her and trapping her in a sudden embrace.
As she stayed in place, allowing herself to be swallowed into his reassuring warmth and broad chest, she wondered how much she had probably frightened him. It was a miracle that he was still standing here and not giving her a disgusted look over what he had witnessed. Mental diseases were a valid reason for granting full custody of a child to one spouse with no visitation rights to the sick one. It was a drastic law but it was meant to protect women and children from the brutally and pain of watching a loved one harm you or devolve into someone unrecognizable. Once upon time, some women had taken advantage of this law to defraud men by threatening them that if they didn't get all they they desired, they would claim the man was mentally unsound. For this reason, careful investigations were made when such allegations were made and if it was discovered to be a false report, one would be imprisoned for life. If Esong had taken pictures or recorded what he found when he saw her, Justin would be on his way to the capital already. She had never realized before just how much her family protected her by keeping a lid on her manic episodes because if Emory Wu, Esong's mother found out, she would have the perfect excuse to take her son.
She tightened her arms around his waist, thanking him in her heart for not doing anything drastic and still being here. Just recently she found out that grim repears could not have children with humans too, that's why Severus was so dismissive of Esong. Justin would be her only child in this life, it was a bitter pill to swallow but it was her reality now. Now more than ever, she wanted Esong on her side.
"Is it always like this?" He asked her softly, "Your illness, does it make you do terrible things to yourself?"
She pursed her lips and moved them around a bit before shaking her head. "This was the last and episode, I always knew that it would happen because my teacher said so. I am okay now, you will never see me that way again." And before he could ask anymore questions, she said, I need to talk to Carolyn now, let's go."
She led him out of the bathroom by the hand.
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