Transformation or Death

Chapter 68

Severed Traces (1)

Echoes resound on the marble floor. Running down the hospital corridor wasn’t exactly encouraged behavior, but right now, she wasn’t in the proper state of mind to maintain light manners. 

Her mysterious, slightly bluish hair swayed wildly as she rushed along.

Her steps were hurried, her breathing frantic, her eyes desperate. Moving swiftly, unable to tell if she was fleeing or pursuing, she came to an abrupt stop in front of a certain room. 

Exhaling roughly, with no time to catch her breath, she flung the door open.

“Ah-yoon!”

The owner of this hospital room was Jo Ah-yoon, a girl who could no longer be called a magical girl.

“Oh, oh… You came?”

The room’s occupant flashed an awkward smile, waving her hand. She was clearly forcing a brave front. Her smile was tinged with loneliness and desolation.

“Ah, Ah-yoon really you…”

“Hey, why the face? I’m not dead or anything. I was going to quit anyway.”

Modern people sometimes have drinking parties with acquaintances to take a break from their busy daily lives. Yoon Seol-hwa was no different.

She was no different, but….

Like all accidents, misfortune comes without warning. This time was no exception.  

A sudden mass offensive by villains and the appearance of Virgo. To stop them, Pink Deneb extinguished her own starlight.

No matter how much the girl herself wanted to retire, this wasn’t the retirement she would have wished for.

She should have had a gentler, warmer farewell amid applause.

The Black Dwarf Star.

The price of this technique is not simply the loss of a magical girl’s powers.  

A technique that burns away one’s everything into a fleeting burst of light.

It leaves aftereffects.

A limited lifespan at best.  

At most 20 years, at worst a few days. The amount of remaining life is determined by how long the Black Dwarf Star state was maintained.    

According to records, she used it for 10 minutes. Her remaining life would likely be about 10 years at most.  

Plop. A teardrop fell onto Yoon Seol-hwa’s hand as she caressed Ah-yoon’s, and her tears showed no signs of stopping.

“It’s my fault… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry Ah-yoon-ah… I really…”

If only she hadn’t suggested drinking that day, if only the drinking location hadn’t been there, if only she had controlled her drinking a little more, if only she had been a little stronger… strong enough to fend off any villains that came.

Various ‘what ifs’ come to mind, but there’s no undoing what’s already been done. All she can do now is dwell on her grief and regret over the past.  

She knows the greatest fault lies with the villains. If they hadn’t attacked in the first place, none of this would have happened. Still, her sense of self-loathing wouldn’t subside.

“Oh… no… Senior? I…”

“I’m really… so sorry…”

Yoon Seol-hwa cried as if clinging to this poor girl. She felt sickened at what qualifications she had to shed tears. She hadn’t been able to do anything, anything at all…

Yet her tears wouldn’t stop.  

She had gained another reason to feel the guilt she always felt, that pathetic emotion.

She had power to protect, so why couldn’t she protect anything? She truly couldn’t protect even one thing she wanted to protect. In this incident, countless people survived, but the one she most wanted to live drew close to death.

Unending self-loathing washed over her. Like a snowman melting before spring, she crumbled hopelessly before the suffering of her loved ones.

‘Why must I always be robbed?’

At the same time, she felt indignant. Her lover and friend had both suffered because of villains.

Why must this happy daily life always be threatened? Why must they suffer? Why did this misfortune have to befall them? What wrong had they done, what mistake had they made?  

The villains always take things away, her happiness, her precious things.

Her hatred grew as large as her swelling guilt.  

“Senior… Don’t cry… It’s not your fault, Senior… If you cry like that… hic.”

Ah-yoon, who had been tightly holding Seol-hwa’s hand, also began to tear up.

“I’ll… get sad too… Don’t cry… Senior, don’t cry-y-y ooohoo…”  

Before long, she had begun to sob harder than Seol-hwa.

‘Just how hard must this have been for her…’

Seol-hwa’s tears welled up again. She recalled Ah-yoon from her student days, the shy girl who couldn’t control her emotions well and would burst into tears at the drop of a hat.  

How heartbreaking must her current circumstances be for her to cry so miserably, just like her old self?

‘What have I done to such a child…!’

Seol-hwa embraced Ah-yoon tightly, holding her close as if she had reverted to childhood, sharing warmth.

“Senior will… no, your sister will… make it right… I’ll do my absolute best so you can live quietly and happily… Be happy… You have to be happy… Okay?”  

“Sis-sister! Don’t cr-y-y! Hic, don’t cry… I really am okay… I’m okay…”

Ah-yoon sobbed just like she did back in her student days.   

“Wah… Noisy… Making me cry too… Just leave me to be sad…”

In the midst of it, she even spoke to the empty air.

‘…! She must not feel the loss of her mascot yet…’   

Upon losing her magical girl powers, she also lost her allied mascot. Normally, the mascot would be consoling her in this situation. In fact, Seol-hwa could hear her own mascot’s consideration.

[Guardian… Please don’t cry…]

Ah-yoon must be so used to it that she still says such things even now that she’s lost her mascot. Thinking that, the girl in her embrace looked all the more pitiful.

“Ah-yoon…”

“Sis-ter…”

The two clung to each other, crying for a long while.   

It was only after crying so hard she was nearly dehydrated that Yoon Seol-hwa, worried for Ah-yoon’s well-being, finally left. 

Afterwards, she was scolded by a nurse for disrupting the patient’s rest and running in the hallway.

***

Ippotranslation

***

“…Hick. My head is freaking killing me.”

From crying too much, her nose became all stuffed up. Ah-yoon got a headache as a result of the tears she shed in her poor condition. She grabbed her head and fell onto the bed. 

[You cried just the right amount. A sickly girl like you was shouting while crying, so of course this happened.]

A floating iron ball in the air. A familiar voice came from there.

“But…since you were crying…I felt sad too… Aren’t you sad? Seeing Senior Seol-hwa crying like that…”

[Saying that makes me sound like a jerk.]

It was Han Jae-jung’s voice. Ah-yoon hurriedly lowered her head in shock, not at his voice but at the content.

“Hic…Is that how it comes across? I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it that way, I didn’t consider your feelings…”

[Hey I’m not scolding you. Don’t do that. I’m the one acting like more of a jerk…you’re right though.]

The scum of scums who manipulated events without consent, disappeared without warning, and went missing for a long period. A tinge of resentment mixed in with the voice coming from beyond the iron ball.

[Anyway, since you met Seol-hwa, you know now right?]

“Yeah…I guess it’s real…hic.”

She seemed interested as she tapped the floating iron ball. Even if pushed a bit, it went back to its original position. 

“That I was a magical girl.”

Last night, the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was this iron ball. A peculiarly designed iron ball. Behind it was Han Jae-jung. The very bad guy who showed up after years and only gave her grief. The guy who made her hope for happiness but instead told her about all his suffering, scars and suicidal thoughts. But also the guy she loved.

She remembered everything about how she got entangled with him and that incident.  

However, she couldn’t remember why she was here now. Jo Ah-yoon had to look around with a dazed expression for a long time. What circumstances led to her and this brother alone at night in the mountains?

Could it be they were on some night escape…?

While harboring these kinds of doubts, she received a shocking revelation from Han Jae-jung.

That until just recently, she was a magical girl on the verge of burning out her starlight and dying.

“To be honest, I still don’t feel it…”

She lost the memories of her activities as a magical girl, only those memories.

It’s not villain possession either. According to common knowledge she had learned, villain possession causes a complete loss of all human memories. But this convenient case of only losing specific memories while retaining human relationships and such,

she didn’t think it was possible. But he said it was possible.

That she was the same case.  

He pointed to the iron ball in front of her as the cause. More precisely, he gestured vaguely in the air. He narrowly missed the iron ball. He asked if she could see it, to which she said no.

He said he had one too and gestured in the air. Of course, Ah-yoon couldn’t see it either.

She thought Han Jae-jung had gone crazy. That he must have suffered a lot somewhere and developed a mental illness.

That her brother had become a crazy person, what a heartbreaking revelation. Tears started welling up in Ah-yoon’s eyes.

Then the balls collided, causing friction. At that moment, Ayun clearly witnessed with her own two eyes the other one besides the iron ball in front of her.

“Oh shoot why… Ahem, do you believe it now?”

“It seems brother is surprised too?”

“No, I already knew… Well, the reason these two collided is, you know, when friends reunite they excitedly high-five and stuff…”

“Ah damn it, I don’t get it.”

But that playful tone helped ease the tension Ah-yoon had.

“…Anyway, it doesn’t seem to be a lie. What is it brother? What happened to me and what happened to you?”

Han Jae-jung then calmly gave her a brief account of everything that had happened to him, as well as what seemed to have happened to Ah-yoon.

“It looks like you made a contract with a star like me…”

She couldn’t feel it.

That she was a magical girl, and had just come back to life after nearly dying.  

And that she accomplished that life by making contact with this iron ball.

None of it made any sense or felt real. It all seemed like a lie.

“Oh, but what is this contract with a star thing? What is this transformation…?”

“It’s faster to show than to tell.”

Getting up from his spot, he raised his hand in the air. Then some sort of mechanical device appeared in his hand. An odd machine reminiscent of a telescope. He attached it to his waist, causing metal wires to unfurl and wrap around his waist, becoming a belt.

“Transformation.”

As Han Jae-jung muttered that, a round green starlight burst out from the belt. The starlight enveloped his body and transformed him into a different body. A true transformation into another body.

Though the conversation ended there as a magical girl arrived to rescue him and he had to run away.

Fortunately, the collision between the balls earlier seemed to establish a communication channel, as they were able to convey their intentions through these balls. 

As she was rescued by the magical girl, the poor joke-like story gradually took on substance.

Her brother who really did transform.

The magical girls acting like they knew, showing extreme concern, and the reaction Seol-hwa showed during her hospital visit just now.

Ah-yoon was a magical girl. Despite having no memories, she could only be convinced of that.

“I was… a magical girl…”

[I’m telling you it’s real.]

“I thought you were just messing with me saying weird stuff…”

[I told you to search online. Then you’d know right away.]

“Um…I don’t really want to… I only see people bad mouthing you and the seniors when I search, so I stopped a while ago… I don’t even know what the trendy songs are these days…”  

[Ah-yoon.]

“Eek?! Sorry I rambled on again…”

[No, it’s not that.]

A warm and affectionate voice came through the cold machine, surprising her.

[I’m sorry.]

Ah-yoon paused in silence before chuckling.

“What for? You’re the one I have to rely on the most right now, so don’t say that. You don’t need to apologize. If you feel that sorry, just do better from now on.”

She gazed quietly at the cityscape beyond the window before speaking again.

“I was…a magical girl…”  

No matter how many times she mulled it over, it didn’t feel real.

“…Weren’t only kind girls like senior Seol-hwa supposed to become magical girls…? Really kind and pretty… But why me…?”

She couldn’t understand. What did the star see in her to have chosen her? What was she thinking to have done such a thing?

“Why did I become a magical girl…? What was the catalyst…?”

No matter how many questions she threw out, no answers came back.

Because the person who should know the answer didn’t.

Ah-yoon fell silent. She asked her past self.

Why did you become a magical girl?

Her past self also remained silent.

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