Transformation or Death

Chapter 53

Call My Name (4)

Baek Ah-hee was flustered. For a moment, she didn’t recognize that he was her client. Of course, it was only for a few seconds, a mere instant. But that much impact was indeed there. 

It wasn’t pomade, as Ribbon, her mascot, had glumly said. It was his natural hair, swaying freely with the breeze. His neatly trimmed dark brown hair was beautiful. The parts touched by light or sunlight shone brown, while the other parts remained a calm black.

The strands of hair fluttering near his eyebrows naturally guided her gaze to his eyes.  

Deep black eyes welcomed her. Eyes that could suck in strangers like the universe. The slightly cold-looking eye shape and thick, dark eyebrows adorning his eyes made his gaze stand out even more.

When he blinked, Baek Ah-hee averted her eyes downward, as if avoiding something. A cleanly angled jawline greeted her. It was neat. There were faint traces of stubble, but certainly not enough to be called unsightly.  

It was a reasonably well-groomed look, trimmed with the minimum necessary scissors and razors.

However, perhaps because it was different from how she had seen him before, Baek Ah-hee felt a refreshing, carbonated sensation.

The kind of dramatic transformation that frequently appears in comics or dramas aimed at teenagers.

The gloomy boy becomes a handsome guy after taking off his glasses, or a simple hair trim turns someone into a beauty.

She had thought such things were purely fiction.

The reason it became the past tense was because that thought had now been shattered.

“Ohhh…”

Baek Ah-hee applauded. It may seem like an odd reaction, but nothing else could better represent her feelings at the moment.

What was reflected in her eyes was clearly a handsome man, not some scruffy-looking homeless person.

With his slightly rugged looks, appropriately large build and tall height, he gave off a handsome vibe that women would likely prefer over men. Yet there was no doubt he was indeed ‘handsome’.

“Well done.”

“What?”

“My choice was right after all.”

“No, what do you mean?”

Baek Ah-hee nodded her head. It felt like discovering a pearl buried in the mud. Although his shabby appearance had exuded a decadent mystique rather than unpleasantness, hinting at an outstanding exterior, she didn’t expect this degree.

“Wow…”

A deep exclamation of admiration rang out along with the applause.

Embarrassed by the grandiose welcome, Han Jae-jung scratched the back of his now refreshed neck and smiled.

“…Am I under arrest?”

“Hmm…not yet? But the risk has arisen!”

After locking eyes with him for a long time, Baek Ah-hee eventually couldn’t take it anymore and quickly turned her gaze away. His transformed appearance had certainly had an effect; Baek Ah-hee’s ears were turning red despite her not having undergone any transformation herself.

“I guess I shouldn’t shave next time I meet with Ms. Vega.”

Throwing out the cheeky remark, Han Jae-jung turned his gaze into the room.

“…Well, there may not be a next time.”

A large placard read ‘Congratulations on graduating from Red Vega’s counseling!’ written in pastel tones.

This marked the fourth week of counseling sessions.  

Officially, this was the final session.

“So what’s the final session about, Teacher?”

Chuckling at the unfamiliar title, Baek Ah-hee scurried over to her desk and picked up a sheet of paper.

“Ta-dah! It’s a test to confirm how Jae-jung’s mindset has positively changed so far~ Please answer this sincerely, and we’ll have a few Q&As before ending the counseling session!”

Han Jae-jung picked up the questionnaire with a wry smile.

“Quite formal, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it’s formal.”

“So is this really the end?”

Baek Ah-hee’s answer came a beat late.

“…Well, first! Fill this out first… Oh, a pen! A pen… Here you go…”

Baek Ah-hee handed him the pen with both hands clasped together.

Han Jae-jung also took the pen with both hands and sat down. He immediately began filling out the questionnaire, writing his name first.  

‘Have you recently felt anxious or depressed… Strongly agree, agree, neutral… Wow, this is really by the book.’

Carefully reading through each item one by one, he swiftly checked off the answers.

For a while, only the scratching sound of his pen resonated in the room.

“Um, excuse me!”

“Oh right, now that you mention it.”

Baek Ah-hee’s words were easily cut off by Han Jae-jung.

“There’s something I haven’t told Ms. Vega. It may help interpret the answers later, so I should mention it now.”  

“Wait, that…”

“It probably differs from what Ms. Vega thinks. It’s about my past.”

There were some omissions from the life story he had told her before.

He disliked having his face seen.

And there was a reason for that.

“I was cyberbullied. Ah…since it extended to real life, I guess it’s okay to call it real-life bullying too. Anyway, I dislike having other people’s attention on me. I dislike cameras too. I dislike receiving attention. I don’t like strangers seeing my face and commenting on how my looks are unpleasant, my eyes look a certain way, or I look like a hooligan. I was severely bullied.”

This was the reason why she felt less aversion to Watcher’s activities.  

Because it was merely a fabricated face, not his real one.

“Thanks to that, I feel nauseous just watching the news and get chills reading articles. I’ve become greatly flawed in this modern society where everything has to be dealt with electronically.”

His hand, which had been marking V’s incessantly on the survey responses, stopped. 

“Vega, can I change?”

Baek Ah-hee looked at him quietly, then drew a slight smile on her lips shining in a pinkish hue. It wasn’t a mocking smile. It was a compassionate one.

“…Jae-jung, before I became a magical girl, I was like the village idiot. If you’re poor, you should at least be smart, and if you’re not smart, you should at least be obedient, but I was neither. I invested everything in the dream of becoming a magical girl and didn’t think about the future or have any contingency plans.”

She calmly exhibited her own wounds.

“Should I have said I was a…pariah? Not that everyone actively bullied me, but no one showed any interest in me either – that kind of child. I couldn’t do anything properly but couldn’t let go of the dream of being a magical girl until my senior year of high school. In a way, it was only natural.”

It was self-deprecating. Regret for her past self. Humor and remorse. Even now, she realized her past self had no solutions.

A child blinded by dreams, shortening her own lifespan.

Perhaps it was inevitable that the more arduous her reality became, the more obsessed she became with her dreams, since darkness is not required for blindness, but light.

She needed hope to cling to.

“…I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t become a magical girl. Would I have clung to that dream until I was an adult, grasping a dream that would never come true…? Maybe I would have ended up in your position, Jae-jung.”

Baek Ah-hee slightly raised the corners of her mouth.

“But I didn’t. I became a magical girl and met many good people. There was a lot of suffering, but still, I was able to change. It would have been impossible for me alone, though. I had my mascot…Ribbon, and my seniors, and… Jae-jung, you were there too.”

Baek Ah-hee placed her hand over Han Jae-jung’s hand that wasn’t holding the pen.

“It’s said that sometimes people find solace in the hope experienced by others, but sometimes they find solace in the despair experienced by others. They find solidarity by discovering empathy between themselves and others.”

That was the meaning behind her revealing her own wounds – one of the things she had read in a counseling manual about sharing one’s own circumstances.

“Just knowing you’re not alone allows people to change. To shake off the pain.”

It was a textbook and a good thing to say. Some might criticize it as trite.

But the fact that it was a textbook meant it had value.

It had the universal power to be used anywhere.

“Jae-jung, you’re one of my good people. And I… believe I can be that for you too.”

Han Jae-jung had revealed his wounds, and Baek Ah-hee revealed her own wounds in response.  

It was only at the end of the counseling that the two were able to candidly confess their suffering.

“Jae-jung, you can change. I’ll help you, even if it’s difficult.”

Han Jae-jung smiled. The pen had somehow made its way to the last question.

“So this is finally proper counseling.”  

“…! Ah, no this is….”

“I know. The circumstances haven’t been conducive until now. It was wrong to push someone who couldn’t even take care of themselves, let alone their studies, into counseling. I’m not trying to assign blame, Vega.”

“…It somehow sounds like you’re dismissing it.”

Baek Ah-hee glared at him with an irritated expression. Not caring at all, he twirled the pen. It was finished.

“You’re right. I can change. After all, I have the assurance of the Red Comet, the Supernova Vega.”

“Don’t tease me!”

Seeing the flustered Baek Ah-hee, Han Jae-jung laughed heartily.  

“Okay, I’m done here.”

“Ah thank you~”

He slid the paper over and handed it to her, and she immediately composed herself and accepted it with a smile.

“Hmm you really did answer conscientiously.” 

The paper, which had started out clean, was now covered in black ink stains.

After carefully examining the contents, Baek Ah-hee lifted the paper up.

Vertically. 

“Really…conscientiously…”

And then she tore it with force.

“…?”

“There, your conscientious responses are becoming trash.”

“What are you doing!”

“It was a useless process anyway! I can’t read your heart from what’s written on this paper! Were you going to end the counseling like this? I don’t like it!”

She didn’t hide her pounding, excited heart.

Pushing her sparkling eyes towards him, she made a suggestion.

“Jae-jung! Let’s go out for some fresh air!”

She returned the suggestion he had made before.

Only this time, the meaning was more secular.

“You mean go out and play?”

“Yes!”

Crumpling the torn pieces of paper, she said, “This time I’ll really treat you to something delicious! I’ll buy you meat, meat!”

“…Hey kid, I don’t really want charity meat…”

“Rejections are for the strong. No matter how old you are, it’s useless in front of capital. The socially disadvantaged just have to take it!”

“You’re getting cheekier and cheekier…”

Han Jae-jung sighed deeply, then nodded.

“Alright. It’s been my dream since old times to live it up with a young friend’s money. Quick, open up that wallet for me. Have you seen a beggar?”

“Yes, there’s one right in front of me and I’m not blind, so how could I not see him? Ah, that’s not an ableist remark, you got that right?”

“Oh, I see.”

Baek Ah-hee smiled faintly. How fortunate to be able to work and play at the same time. At the thought of grilling beef and visiting a dessert cafe for the rest of the day, she was already feeling happy. 

Han Jae-jung read the yearning for gustatory satisfaction behind her smile and rose from his seat. With such high expectations, it was hard to refuse.

“When we go out, disguise yourself properly so no one recognizes you. Let’s go right away…”

“Wait a minute!”

Baek Ah-hee stopped him by extending her palm.

“Wait…a minute…you see…”

Her expression was tense, unlike moments ago.

“To prove that our counseling session was successful and to commemorate it…we need to undergo a procedure that captures the form of an object on a photosensitive surface…”

“You mean take a photo?”

“Ah, uh, no, uh, that’s…”

After pursing her lips, twisting her body, and ardently appealing her agony, distress, and suffering, she could finally nod in affirmation.

“…Yes.”

“Hmm…”

Han Jae-jung stroked his chin, deep in thought. The slight roughness left on his smooth chin still felt a bit strange.

Even now, the camera is one of the things he has a considerable aversion to. He couldn’t readily say ‘Yes, sure’ despite her request.

Knowing this, Baek Ah-hee must have been cautious.

Normally, she would have just stroked her belly and said something like, ‘My stomach is hurting today…’

“Will it be made public?”

“Ah, it might be…but only my face will appear in the article! For your identity and safety, I won’t leave any clues to speculate who you are, so don’t worry!”

His aversion grew even stronger. Even if his face wouldn’t appear, the fact that the photo would be in an article…

‘What should I do?’

He pondered deeply. 

But the answer came quickly.

“Okay.”

“Oh, I knew you wouldn’t want to…huh?”

“I said okay.”

He had made up his mind to change and overcome his trauma. 

If it wasn’t a malicious camera shutter to mock and disparage him, and his face wouldn’t be directly revealed, he thought it might be alright.

“…But since I do have an aversion, it has to be just this once. Got it?”

“O-Of course! Ribbon, here’s my phone!”

Baek Ah-hee threw her smartphone into the air. To Han Jae-jung’s eyes, that’s what it looked like, but not to Baek Ah-hee’s. The cat-shaped mascot called Ribbon caught the phone instead.

She quickly pulled Han Jae-jung’s arm and positioned him under the plan card, striking a pose herself.

‘Ah, as I thought…’

Han Jae-jung quietly thought as his eyes met the camera.

‘Cameras are a no-go.’

He closed his eyes, imagining rushing to the bathroom to throw up as soon as this was over.

“Okay, one~ two~”

From the side, Baek Ah-hee’s hurried yet cheerful voice rang out.

“Cheese!”

“Cheese…”

Click.

The shutter sound reverberated dreadfully in his mind. At the same time, his complexion turned deathly pale, as if he had been in a centrifuge.

“Okay, we’re done…Jae-jung!”

As soon as the signal for completion came, he immediately dashed to the bathroom and threw up.

When he returned, a very apologetic-looking Baek Ah-hee greeted him.

Unlike her expression when he first saw her today, accompanied by death and tension, she now looked extremely anxious and fidgety.

“I’m, I’m really sorry…”

“If you’re sorry, buy me an expensive cut of beef.”

Observing her expression quietly, Han Jae-jung pondered what to add next, before deciding and speaking.

“Ah-hee.”

“…!”

The corners of her mouth turned up again.

Seeing that, Han Jae-jung smiled too.

***

Ippotranslation

***

“Heh, heheh…”

Gazing at the photo displayed on her smartphone screen, Baek Ah-hee laughed.

It was her pride.

She had provided the opportunity for him to change, and he had given her a chance to change as well.

Of course, there were complicated circumstances afterward, but…

Anyway, they had become friends for certain.  

It seemed their relationship would continue even after the counseling ended.

“Ribbon, what if Jae-jung tries to meet up too often? Maybe he’s still too tense to contact me first?”

[That… Guardian… Don’t worry… I don’t think that will happen…]

Even days after the final counseling session, Baek Ah-hee’s mind lingered on him.

With his sudden good looks and change in honorifics, he had left quite an impression in many ways.

For a girl still dreaming of fantasies, he evoked various scenarios of taming a bad boy that she had seen in comics and novels.

Did someone finally fall for me? She even entertained such delusions.

“My lady? What are you looking at?”

“Ah, Davi!”

“A man? Not a man?”

White Davi suddenly approached her.

“Betrayal! Vega got herself a boyfriend!”

“It’s not like that! He’s just my counselor…”

“You’re smiling while looking at your counselor?! Ridiculous! Don’t lie to me! Such lies won’t work on me!”

Davi snatched the phone from her hand and scrutinized the photo intently. 

“Oho, looking at his face… He’s quite handsome. But he seems unruly. Did he seduce you with his looks? Ah, harassment! Maybe he harassed you!”

White Davi’s eyebrows soon furrowed deeply.

“Hmm? But I feel like I’ve seen him somewhere before…”

“What’s with all the noise?”

“Give it back!”

Thanks to her commotion, even the Pink Deneb drinking beer nearby became interested.

“My lady has gotten herself a boyfriend.”

“Ooh, our Ah-hee is quite the player? Let me see who seduced our girl.”

“Here.”

“I’m telling you it’s not like that!”

White Davi extended her arm to show the photo.

The beer can Pink Deneb was holding immediately dropped.

For Every 3$,Ill upload a Bonus chapter within the week.

Anyways… Happy Reading!!!

/ippostranslations

THIS CHAPTER UPLOAD FIRST AT NOVELBIN.COM