To Live Again, For the First Time!

Chapter 3 - New Found Warmth



EMILIN POV:

At this point, my body felt a little tight. It was as if I had been packaged into a tiny box, which made me glad that I'm not claustrophobic. My surroundings were slightly warm and cramped, which seemed to be a strange combination in this case.

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Warm... hell isn't supposed to be so warm right? I guess I'm going to heaven. That's nice.

Wait.

Do they send people to Heaven in tiny boxes?

I struggled to open my heavy eyelids, which just didn't seem to budge. I could see that there were lights from the other side of my lids, but the source of the light was still unknown.

Then, what I heard next truly made me question death.

Did I really go to heaven? Because those cries sounded like they came straight from hell! On another note, 'hellfire' seemed to be a more common saying than "when hell freezes over".

A miscalculation on my part. But to be fair, I didn't really think I've done anything to warrant a ticket in a small container to the underworld, at least not from what I remember.

When the yells were cut off, I felt my body being touched all over with some cold material, but I wasn't able to move at all.

Do they check their products before they are sent off? It was incredibly uncomfortable. Honestly, at this point, I didn't even really know what I was saying, or rather thinking, or better yet, imagining. I guess I just let my mind wander off on its own.

I kept trying to sway what I think were my limbs, but I seemed to fall short of touching anything every time. I was getting a little worried. Then, the cold material was finally taken away. I felt like I was floating in the air, yet still incredibly heavy at the same time.

Then there was warmth. What was seemingly endless warmth surrounded me, and it was at that moment that I finally realized that my heart also felt warmed by this sensation. My soul trembled from the first contact to something other than emptiness. The sudden moment of euphoria was shocking, to say the least.

Was this all a marketing trick to make people think they plunged into the depths of torture, before giving them a safe pass?

Because it's working.

When I was finally able to open my eyes. I found myself looking at a beautiful woman that seemed to be in her late 20s nearing her 30s. Her embrace was so comfortable. I looked at her and at that moment, she was smiling while looking at her right. She seemed to be talking to someone but I wasn't really able to make out any of what they were saying.

All I heard was something about some 'Emi' from a cute and squeaky voice, which came from someone I couldn't really see at the moment. I think I was pretty safe to assume it was a child.

Then the woman finally looked down at me. Wait. Down? I look back at her in total confusion.

I don't think this is really heaven, even though the warmth found here is totally comparable to how heaven is depicted. At least from what I've heard. I had already come to a plausible conclusion, but I wasn't too keen on believing it. Was there really something as convenient as a second chance in life?

I remember that Buddhists said that reincarnation comes after death. Does that mean there really isn't any heaven or hell? I'm sure some other religions have some more about it. I couldn't really find anything else to base off my thoughts on.

Then is this the legendary reincarnation? But surely I was supposed to have all of my memories wiped out, right?

I really wanted to think about anything other than what that tiny box/container I was in stuck in previously. I just didn't want to imagine what it actually was. Out of sight, out of mind.

Before I got some more time to think, I felt the warmth that was beneath me suddenly start leaving and I panicked.

'No! Don't abandon me.'

Suddenly, I heard another crying sound. This time it was smaller than the first, but it seemed to resonate even more with me than the former. That is before I realized that the sound came from myself.

I didn't even cry during my long years on the cold streets, yet after I was given a taste of true warmth, these devils were trying to take it away from me. Truly something from the underworld. They knew their torturing methods well. So I cried. Not because I was in any pain, nor because I was sad.

The cries that I had hidden deep within my heart for all these long years just suddenly burst out without warning.

I cried and cried and cried. I don't know exactly why, but I was also happy. I could finally feel again. All these strange emotions were now ones that I could also experience. The void that was in my heart seemed to have filled up just a little. Yet, even that tiny bit was something I would treasure.

I don't really remember when or why I had stopped feeling emotions before my death, but I have a feeling that it wasn't always this way. My memories from before I was around 10 were completely forgotten, including my possible family, friends, home, or even my name.

When I had woken up one day I had been covered in piles of rubble, but I couldn't even feel any pain. I had started walking aimlessly on the streets, not knowing who I was, nor where I should be.

The street could only be distinguished through the scale of dull and duller. Everything had been incredibly tedious, including eating. Those were how my days were spent until I died of starvation and exhaustion.

After two years of surviving my body wasn't able to keep up anymore. That was okay when I didn't care, but when I finally did, every memory became incredibly painful. My time on the streets was anything but joyful.

While I had been scouring the streets, I also realized something else, something that I now find interesting. There were a lot of things that I knew. When looking at the shows and programs that were being broadcasted on the televisions that could be seen through the windows of various shops, I realized that I could still use information that I had learned before I lost my memories.

For a few moments there, I had thought that I came from a wealthy family because I was educated on various topics, including politics, economics, maths, and various languages. Then I found it even more peculiar that no one had ever come to look for me. My knowledge in psychology also told me that the reason for my loss of memory was anything but normal.

But I didn't really find it necessary to find out why I lost my memories or who I actually was. I just didn't care. Even if this was abnormal there didn't seem to be much I could do about it.

But now, that was all different. I felt the warmth on my skin as I slowly calm down from my previous fit. I wanted to grab onto this feeling and never let go. The tense knot that had previously resided in my chest loosened up as I let myself ease in the warm embrace of the woman I assume to be my mother.

My eyes that had been tightly shut while crying also slowly relax.

The frantic people that had been panicking in the room also seem to get less agitated at the same time.

The room that had been bustling hours prior all the way until a couple of minutes ago seemed to fall into a peaceful silence.

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