Chapter 190:
As time passed, the villainess and I had more conversations.
-Damn it!
“What now?”
“They said I’m a beggar with no butler!”
“You’re not a beggar, you just chased them away.”
“No, I didn’t!”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying! I just said a few things, and they ran away crying!”
“That’s what chasing someone off means, you idiot.”
“Argh!”We became close enough to point out each other’s flaws without hesitation.
The thread of a relationship I thought was incidental, one that I believed had no chance of getting tangled, began to knot more and more.
Even though this relationship started from one-sided obsession.
-Damn it! Duel me again!
“No.”
As time passed, our conversations deepened, and we became more entwined with each other’s fate.
At first, I didn’t care much, but then I started wishing that her future wouldn’t be so dire, hoping that the future depicted in the novel wouldn’t come true.
“Why are you stealing my bread?”
“Heheh, it tastes good.”
“You eat a lot of good things anyway. Why steal mine, you pig?”
“Nom… It’s way tastier stealing yours.”
“You crazy…”
“Don’t curse!”
“Do I look like I can hold it in?”
“Argh!”
As time went by, I began to look forward to seeing the villainess.
When the clock tower’s hands passed noon heading towards afternoon, I found myself waiting, thinking, ‘Just one more hour,’ as I watched for her shadow that didn’t show up.
At first, I just saw her as a customer who paid well. But now, I kept waiting because her stories were fun, and her stubbornness was endearing.
of a hobby for me.
Then one day…
The villainess made me an offer.
She stubbornly proposed that I become a butler, a job that was far too good for an orphan in the slums.
-Do you want to become my b-tler?
“Butler. Say it with me, butler.”
“B-tler!”
“I swear, you need to be reborn.”
“Argh!”
The offer was to be her butler. It wasn’t an offer for a beggar living off dust in the slums.
I knew.
I knew how precious this offer was.
While ordinary kids might not understand, I, who knew the weight of the Desmond name, understood how attractive this offer was.
Even noble children coveted a butler position in the Desmond house. It was not a chance that could just come to a beggar living in the slums.
The villainess breathed out in frustration as she spoke.
“With me, world conquest is possible.”
“And what about me?”
“You’ll be my sidekick.”
“…?”
But I turned the offer down.
It was a tempting proposition, but the weight of the information I held wasn’t something that would be satisfied by a mere butler position.
The presence of the villainess, whose weight grew heavier on the balance of life that was already precarious, led me to reject the enticing offer.
“No.”
“Why not!”
“Just feels like I’d end up ruined if I stick around you.”
“I’ll feed and clothe you! We have plenty of money!”
“I feel like you’ll make it disappear.”
“Why? Am I too pretty?”
“No, because you’re too dumb.”
“Argh! You’re dead.”
Even so, the villainess kept making the offer.
Day after day, week after week.
She must have taken a liking to me, as she repeatedly made the offer, yet I continued to refuse.
I felt that if I held on just a little longer, I could eventually escape this place by following Michail.
At most, it could be a year.
At least, a month.
The novel didn’t specify how Michail left the slums, but I knew that the time was drawing near.
Today, after rejecting the young lady’s proposal once again, I looked up at the rainy sky and smiled bitterly.
“It’s raining.”
It was one of those rainy days.
-Swoosh.
A rain light enough to be blocked with an umbrella was wetting the streets of the slums.
Under the roof where I sought shelter from the rain, I watched the children who began to gather.
“This is everyone?”
“Yeah.”
Michail, who was standing beside me, replied.
This was everyone who had gathered.
The streets of the slums were quiet. The roof that was once crowded, leaving no room to step, was now desolate, revealing its emptiness.
Including myself, there were only three children left on that street. Smiling bitterly, I forced an awkward smile.
‘This really is the end.’
For many reasons, we had to say goodbye.
Due to illness.
Due to adoption by a good family.
Because parents who had improved their circumstances came to reclaim their children, we said our farewells.
Today, we had gathered to say farewell once more.
an with a reunion. Watching Michail’s sullen face, I forced an awkward smile.
“Come on, smile.”
“…”
“It’s the last time—you should send him off with a smile. Right?”
Michail clenched his fis.
I ruffled Michail’s hair and looked at the small child running towards us from afar.
“Big bro!”
The child was running hand in hand with their parents. Seeing the child come running towards me, even without using an umbrella, as if in a rush, I reached out and hugged them.
“Raggedy!”
“Big bro!”
“So you’re happy to see your mom, huh?”
“Yeah! It’s all thanks to you!”
“How is it because of me?”
“You found my mom and dad!”
The child who looked up at me with a bright smile had a grin so wide it almost hurt.
I chuckled softly and slipped some money into the child’s small pocket, patting their back.
“Now go, and mind what your mom says.”
“Okay!”
“Don’t throw tantrums, and eat your food properly.”
“Okay, I will!”
“You little rascal.”
As I pahing together, fighting off bullies, and comforting the child when they cried for their mom were folded neatly, like a farewell letter.
“Take care.”
.
Bow after bow, the parents kept lowering their heads towards me, and I gave a stiff smile and nod in return.
They looked happy, which was a relief.
The child.
The parents.
They all looked happy.
I didn’t know what their future held, but I hoped their smiles would continue as I waved at the departing child.
‘There’s no reason for me to stay here anymore.’
The street now only had Michail, me, and one other child. The sense of responsibility tethering me to this place had vanished.
Michail had a bright future, and the remaining child already had a home.
Now, there was only me left.
‘I better do well.’
Whatever that may be.
I spoke to Michail in a soft voice, watching him awkwardly wave.
“Are you crying?”
“I’m not crying.”
“Don’t cry. Something good will happen to you too.”
“No.”
Michail was weak when it came to farewells.
Whether it was due to someone passing away.
Or saying goodbye to someone leaving.
He was a fool who would easily cry.
Especially when saying goodbye to a friend who was leaving to reunite with their parents, like now, Michail’s tear ducts were at their weakest.
Because he was jealous.
Because staying here was unbearable, and he envied the child who was leaving, Michail cried.
He would sround and cry.
Even today, Michail looked miserable.
I gave him an awkward smile, trying to gauge his mood. Situations like this always made me unsure of how to console him.
I could understand his feelings, but didn’t really know how to make them better, so I found this kind of situation difficult.
Michail was more downcast than usual, staring at the ground. He stood there for a long time, looking at the empty street, then dragged his teddy bear by one leg to a corner.
I playfully nudged Michail’s shoulder, trying to lighten the mood.
“Michail! We still have to go today!”
“…”
“Aren’t we going under the bridge?”
Michail didn’t respond.
He just stood there with a hardened expression, letting the rain soak him. I awkwardly reached out, trying to pick up the soaked teddy bear that was getting muddy.
No matter how upset or hurt he was, he always clung tightly to that bear.
As I ineptly tried to grab the teddy bear that seemed like it might slip from Michail’s hand, he coldly swept my hand away.
Michail discarded the bear on the ground, as if it meant nothing to him.
Then, he stopped walking. He barely noticed me standing still, passing by me, and spoke.
“I’m not going.”
“Huh…?”
“I’m not going.”
“Huh…?”
I stood there, dumbfounded.
It was shocking to hear that Michail didn’t want to go to the one place he always went, no matter the time or even when free meals were being offered.
I would’ve smiled if he had overcome his sorrow, but right now, Michail’s expression radiated a sadness that looked like it would crumble at any moment.
In a foolish voice, I questioned Michail, asking him to reconsider.
“Why?”
Michail buried his head deeper into the ground and spoke in a trembling voice.
“Why, you ask?”
Michail clenched his fists and screamed at me in frustration, voice thick with anger.
“Did you just ask why, right now?”
“Michail, you seem really upset. Maybe you should calm down…”
“Hah.”
Michail let out a hollow laugh and shook his shoulders slightly.
“If you were me, would you want to go?”
“…”
“You already know.”
“…”
“And yet, you pretend not to?”
“Haha…”
Ignoring my awkward chuckles, Michail shouted.
“You know they’re not coming! So why keep asking!”
“No…”
“Why! Why do you keep asking! It’s so hard for me!”
He snapped.
Michail’s wound, which I thought had been healing well, was quietly reopened by the gentle waves washing over him, and finally, it burst open.
I was used to dealing with a child’s outbursts, but Michail’s deep-seated anger tore at my heart.
Because we were friends…
Because he was a friend who had been with me, it hurt.
I understood.
What Michail was feeling right now.
I had been an orphan those hopes trampled.
It’s a feeling of not seeing a bright future.
I knew that better than anyone, so I bit my lips and listened to Michail’s frustration.
“You’re just pretending not to know so you can laugh behind my back! To think I’m really abandoned.”
“No, I’m not—”
“Stop lying!”
I approached Michail with a bitter smile.
“It’s okay, today might be different.”
“Today…! Today…! I’ve waited, telling myself that every day!”
“Michail, please calm down for a moment…”
“Shut up!”
Michail roughly slapped my hand away and broke into tears.
“I’m so sick of this…!”
Michail clenched his fists tightly and glared at me.
“I’m sick of waiting in a place like this.”
“…”
“And I hate being with you, who stinks…!”
“…”
“I hate eating that weird-smelling bread too!”
“I see…”
I smiled sadly and approached Michail.
I realized there was much I hadn’t paid attention to.
I thought I should try a bit harder.
So I spoke to Michail carefully, apologizing.
“I’m sorry.”
“…”
“I’m sorry for not caring enough.”
Michail, with tears streaming down his face, finally let out what was in his heart. He said it without considering that such words might hurt someone.
He just wiped away his tears as he spoke.
“I have a mom too… Unlike you, who doesn’t even know what your mother looks like, my mom promised she’d come!”
‘…Oh?’
That really shouldn’t have wounded me…
But somehow, his words seemed to hit a sore spot that I had hidden deep inside.
I clenched my fists, trying to calm down.
It was nothing.
Michail was just a kid, so it was understandable.
But still, Michail kept hitting me where it hurt.
“I hate it! I hate this! I hate being here, and I hate being friends with a grubby guy like you!”
“…”
“I want to be friends with cool guys! Neat and clean friends, not someone ugly and smelly like you!”
Michail’s words were hurting me.
Suddenly, it seemed as if all the efforts I made meant nothing to him, as if I was just someone who brought him meals and nothing more.
Though I knew I shouldn’t take it that way, my efforts felt so foolish that I started to take them badly.
As an adult, I should’ve let it slide.
But Michail had touched on a part of me I had long forgotten, a sensitive part that stirred something fierce inside.
I bowed my head.
If I said something, I would probably only get angrier.
“I hate you and this place, with all your trivial joys.”
“…You don’t know me.”
“You don’t know how I feel either. You never lived with your mom like I did, or heard any promises from her.”
“…”
“You’ve always been alone.”
“Stop.”
“You’ve always been alone, so you don’t understand how I feel.”
“Stop it.”
I gritted my teeth and told Michail to stop, but he crossed the line.
“You and I are different!”
-Thunk.
‘Ah.’
It snapped.
The last thread of reason that I had been desperately holding onto finally snapped.
Now, I don’t care anymore.
I exhaled deeply and threw the teddy bear I had picked up earlier onto the ground. It seemed like all my efforts were meaningless now.
I said in a calm voice.
“Then try doing it on your own.”
“What…?”
I shouldn’t have done that.
“Since being with me disgusts you so much, do it on your own.”
“No, that’s not—”
“Why? Am I wrong?”
“It’s not that…”
“I did my best.”
“I did everything expecting nothing in return.”
“Then what…?”
“Disgusting…?”
“Then try figuring it out on your own. Find the mom you’ve been talking about all by yourself, feed yourself on your own. Maybe then, just as you said, your mom really will come.”
“Unlike me, right?”
I left Michail behind.
Maybe it was because I was upset, thinking that my goodwill had turned into poison for Michail. Or maybe it was because his words had hurt me, but whatever it was, I left him and wandered the streets alone.
And then.
“Big bro!”
“What.”
“That brat! No, Michail’s mom seems to have come!”
“What?”
In a flurry, I started looking for Michail. Running like a madman.
I don’t know why I did it.
I knew very well that there was no truth in the kid’s words.
I knew that the kid was just a pawn of the heretics, that I could see through his favorite conversation topics. But like a fool, I kept running.
Even though I knew that according to the novel, Michail only meets his mother when he’s an adult.
“Where is Michail?”
“Under the bridge.”
Already knowing the outcome, I ran around town looking for Michail.
I just couldn’t help but want to make him smile.
And thus…
“Huff… Huff…”
I fell into a trap.
“So, it was you?”
“I’m sorry…”
“The one this kid’s been looking for.”
It was a rainy day.
A very sad rainy day.
End of Chapter
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