Chapter 52: The Meaning of Living
While Tina was enjoying a lively snowball fight in the training grounds, I went to find Elphisia for a chat.
Elphisia was being attended to by her maids, but they were nearly finished. I approached her as soon as I saw her.
"Elphisia."
"Harte?"
"Put this on before we talk."
I draped the shoulder robe over Elphisia. It wasn't something I'd intended to wear myself. I simply wanted to cover Elphisia's ever-present thigh-high slit.
"Phew! Now I can relax."
"What do you mean relax? It's warm in here!"
"The hallway's cold. I'm worried about you."
"Cold? What are you... Oh."Unlike Elphisia, who'd lost her composure, the maids were naive. From their perspective, I was the perfect caring husband.
"My lord always puts the princess first."
"How wonderfully attentive..."
"Both the duchess and those raised in the temple seem to be such good people."
My shoulders rose involuntarily. Regardless of intent, praise can make even a whale dance.
"So, what brings you here?"
"Do I need a reason?"
"..."
"Elphisia?"
After a moment of silence, Elphisia mumbled while averting her gaze.
"Well, not really..."
"That's fine then."
I couldn't help but smile. Whenever Elphisia showed her honest side, it made me feel good. Yes, I'd rather see a transparent heart than transparent thighs. Surely...!
"Actually, it's a bit funny to say this after all that... but I did come with a purpose."
"A purpose?"
"Yes."
While snowy days usually make one reluctant to go outside, today was different. There was a reason worth venturing out.
"Let's go on an outing, Elphisia."
"The weather isn't exactly suitable for a picnic. Are you perhaps mistaking this for the year-end party?"
"No chance of that."
It was understandable that she misunderstood. We'd already received over five invitations to various gatherings. Many mansions host parties to celebrate the new year. But unless something extraordinary came up, I had no intention of accepting any of them.
"The new year's coming. Since it's a special occasion, I think I can take you to an incredibly popular spot."
"A popular spot?"
"Yes. This is something only I can make possible."
"That... piques my interest a bit."
Elphisia showed signs of being intrigued. At this, I began to explain my plan.
"You know about the bell that rings in the new year at the capital's temple, right?"
"Few people don't know about that."
"How about watching it from VIP seats? Since it's a special occasion, we'll bring Yulian too. Echo is also living at the temple now..."
"That doesn't sound bad. But where exactly are these VIP seats? You must know how crowded it gets in front of the temple at midnight."
"There's a pond that only those with baptismal names and a select few clergy can access. The sunrise view from there is breathtaking. After hearing the new year's bell, we'll spend some time at the temple, watch the sunrise, and then return to the mansion."
Elphisia nodded silently as she listened. From what I could tell, it seemed like a decent plan even to her.
"But won't Yulian be busy?"
"True, he is a busy fellow. Should we ask him?"
"Even if we send a letter, we won't get a reply until tomorrow."
"We can just ask him directly."
As soon as I finished speaking, I manifested my divine power. Golden particles began to float around like fireflies, heralding a miracle.
Swish.
I pulled back space like a curtain. Surprisingly, the empty air became a passage connecting to another space. Right now, Yulian could be seen in a meeting with others.
Crash!
At that moment, the nobles on the other side who witnessed the connected space were thrown into chaos.
"W-what is that...!"
"It's, it's sorcery!"
"Calm down! Isn't that Lord Harte and Princess Luminel?!"
Judging by the commotion on the other side, I had clearly picked a bad time. I scratched the back of my head and gave a wry smile.
"What, what are you doing, Director?"
"Ah... Were you very busy?"
"... As you can see."
Yulian replied in a tone that seemed to say 'isn't it obvious?'
"Are you going to be busy in the future too?"
"Whatever it is, if you're asking me to make time, I will."
"That's good news. I was thinking of having a celebratory party with people who share school ties, regional ties, and blood ties."
"Wait, none of those apply to me...?"
"The orphanage counts as school ties."
"..."
I had only stated a fact, but Yulian's face soured. However, I know Yulian well now. No matter how sour his expression, he'll do what he's told.
"So, are you coming? Or not?"
"...... I'll come."
"That's more like it."
This is exactly what I mean. He's actually happy when invited. In any case, he's just like Elphisia.
"Somehow, the Director's expression is extremely unpleasant. More importantly, please stop using miracles for such trivial things."
"The New Year's gathering is an important matter. Papa would be very sad if you act high and mighty just because you've turned eleven."
"Argh! Get out of here right now!"
Whoosh!
Unable to bear it any longer, Yulian forcefully closed the space. With the connection completely severed, I casually relayed the result to Elphisia.
"As you can see, Yulian will be participating too. He's probably so excited that he can't even focus on his meeting."
"I hate to say this, but you're really using your divine power for the most trivial things. You're not usually the type to do that so carelessly."
"Well, you're right about that..."
Elphisia's point was valid. Divine power should only be used after careful consideration in truly unavoidable situations. Using it merely for convenience was far from virtuous.
Despite being fully aware of all this, I carelessly performed a miracle. At least for me, there was immense value in doing so.
"I wanted to welcome the new year together with my family for the first time."
"..."
"Every year-end, people visit the temple with their families to welcome the new year... but for me, who lived in the temple, it was something I never experienced."
I had always considered it a luxury.
After all, my sole purpose for existing was to ward off calamities and protect humanity from extinction.
But from the day I decided to leave the temple, my perspective changed.
To think that the result of fulfilling my lifelong mission would be a death whose cause I didn't even understand. Beyond the futility, it was an opportunity to reconsider my reason for existing.
Might I have other value? Wouldn't it be right to find at least one more thing worth risking my life for, even now?
When my thoughts reached that point, I recalled what the former Pope had once said.
[Perhaps it would be better for Harte to go out and live in the world. This isn't usually allowed, but I'm seriously considering it.]
At that time, I resolved to follow his words. Unlike the cramped temple, I assumed I could find my purpose out in the world...
However, the outside world was a living hell, contrary to my expectations.
Using divine power for personal gain was taboo, and my honed sword skills were of little use. I even fell victim to scams due to my ignorance of worldly affairs.
As a result, I spent days starving, though my baptismal name prevented me from dying.
Then one day.
Out of compassion, I healed a child who was on the verge of death from a carriage accident. That child turned out to be the son of Court Count Arwel.
That was the turning point in my life.
With the Count's financial support, I established an orphanage, and for the first time, I had a family.
Although it was a brief encounter, the transformation in my consciousness was remarkable.
I suddenly felt I could do anything.
I realized that having a place to return to motivates a person.
Family became my second mission, no different from my first.
So, I found myself taking Elphisia's hand and expressing my gratitude anew.
"Thank you, Elphisia."
"W-what's with this sudden change?"
"Just because."
It really is just because. In fact, these are words that should be said routinely, without any special occasion.
"For becoming my family, and for becoming my wife... I'm always grateful."
"Ugh..."
"I know you're always considerate of me and the children. I'm aware that you not only avoid taking credit, but even try to hide it."
"... I'm just doing what needs to be done."
"Yes, what needs to be done."
I find this straightforward aspect of Elphisia to be most admirable. Therefore, I too should follow her example and do what needs to be done.
"Expressing gratitude clearly should be my duty too. After all, we're in a relationship where that's appropriate."
I know our relationship is based on a contract. Nevertheless, I want to give Elphisia something beyond the contract. Perhaps it's because she first gave me a world beyond what I deserved.
That's why I feel it's time to start considering what I should give to Elphisia.
This isn't about keeping score of what we give each other. I simply want to see Elphisia's joyful expression. Just as I rejoice in everything she has given me.
What name should I give to this feeling?
"Thank you, Elphisia."
Ah, for now, let's call it 'gratitude'.
Surely... such a name would suit it well.
Yet, it still feels somewhat lacking.
It seems insufficient as a name for the warmth passing between our clasped hands.
So let's focus on finding a name. A name befitting this warmth.
Slowly, taking our time.
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