The Tales of an Infinite Regressor

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

Chapter 144

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A Fortunate One VI

9

There may be no paradise to run to, but the scenery in Saipan was as beautiful as paradise.

The transparent, jade-coloured sea. The soft sand that wrapped gently around the soles of my feet.

Noh Doha murmured.

"The sunlight is too strong..."

"Indeed. It's almost excessively beautiful."

That was our first impression.

For reference, I was dressed as a café barista. Noh Doha wore a casual T-shirt with a white coat draped over it. The white doctor's coat fluttered in the sea breeze.

In short, our fashion choices were actively denying the fact that this was a world-renowned resort.

Saipan probably wouldn't want to welcome tourists like us if they could avoid it.

"This sight is entirely unsuited for you who will soon have to extract misfortune to the last drop."

"When you put it that way, it makes me feel even more uneasy..."

More.

We had to become even more unfortunate.

Thus, I decided to remodel the scenery of the island personally.

To digress for a moment, in a world stained with void at the end of the century, "aesthetic formality" is of utmost importance.

A story with a perfect beginning, middle, and end. The cliché of waking up and muttering, "This is an unfamiliar ceiling."

These are forms, a kind of grammar.

And depending on what grammar, what worldview you choose, the anomalies will react differently.

For example, even after arriving at a resort.

If you shout, "Wow! It's summer! The beach! The sea!" and fling off your outerwear before charging into the waves, there's a high probability you'll encounter anomalies based on "Japanese-style manga."

It's basically the same as middle and high school students chanting Kokkuri-san, Kokkuri-san at night with the lights off.

In the end times, a person's behavior or even a single word can summon all sorts of strange beings.

"Noh Doha. From now on, I will recite an excerpt from a novel called The Final Years by the writer Osamu Dazai."

"Huh...?"

"Have you heard of the novel No Longer Human? It's by the same author."

I carried Noh Doha to the cliff by the sea.

Tapping his feet, Noh Doha landed on the edge of the cliff and stuck his hands into the pockets of his white coat.

"Hmph. And what's the reason for holding a cheap recitation as soon as we arrive in Saipan...?"

"For a former civil servant, you don't know much about world history, do you? This Saipan was one of the places where the Japanese forces were defeated by the U.S. military during the Pacific War. It has a painful history where many civilians were caught in the war and died."

"Huh? So what?"

"This cliff where we’re standing is precisely where the Imperial Japanese Army showcased their grand talent show."

"A talent show...?"

If you were to pick two special skills of the old Imperial Japanese Army, they would undoubtedly be declarations of war and mass suicide.

The second of these talents was demonstrated to the fullest extent at the northernmost tip of Saipan Island.

"The name of the cliff itself is killer. It's called 'Banzai Cliff.' According to some accounts, as many as ten thousand soldiers shouted 'Banzai!' and made a grand entrance off this cliff."

"Okay, but seriously, so what...?"

"And if you were to name the most famous suicide in Japan, you couldn't leave out Osamu Dazai."

I pulled out an empty notebook.

"Watch closely, Noh Doha. This is the textbook way to summon anomalies."

Out of nowhere, a clear voice began to recite a passage above the cliff, carried on the wind over the waves.

"Ah, on a full moon night. Glittering, then crumbling, surging, then shattering, the waves raged and thrashed. When I deliberately let go of the hand that clung to mine in desperation to avoid separation, the woman was swept away by the waves in an instant and cried out a name with all her might. It wasn’t my name—."

Swooosh.

The waves crashed.

At that moment—

"Tenno Heika Banzai!"

Splash!

A shadowy figure passed by us and dove straight off the cliff.

It was an impressive display. It was almost a pity that, instead of being an Olympic athlete, the person had been a soldier and couldn't show off their skills during their lifetime.

"What the hell...?"

Noh Doha jumped up in shock.

And of course, it was understandable. Shadowy figures that hadn’t been there just a moment ago suddenly appeared behind us.

"Tenno Heika Banzai!"

"Dai Nippon Teikoku Banzai!"

"Banzaaaai!"

Splash, splash!

Fortunately, even though this wasn’t the Olympics, there was at least a marathon. Thousands of shadowy figures started running in unison, charging toward the horizon.

These shadowy figures had no physical form. They passed through our shoulders, sometimes even right through our bodies, as they continued their frantic dash.

Strangely, though they had no physical substance, they somehow managed to vividly recreate the effect of “splashing into the waves.”

Splash, splash. The waves generated by the shadowy humans were triumphing over the natural ones in real-time.

Indeed, the true enemy of the Japanese Imperial Army had always been not the U.S. forces but "nature" itself.

Nature included not only environments like jungles and seas but also human nature. The Imperial Army was not losing; it was actually winning.

“Damn. What on earth is this...?”

“Just as in human affairs, summoning the bizarre also lies within the mystery of Heaven, Earth, and Man.”

I laughed heartily, like Sword Maiden.

“The Japanese concept of collective suicide is Heaven, the land where the Japanese Imperial Army collectively committed suicide is Earth, and Dazai Osamu, the icon of suicide, is Man. Alas! With these three conditions aligned so perfectly, how could the bizarre not respond to the incantation?”

“...Are you seriously asking this, Doctor Jang? Aren't you already the boss of the anomaly? Huh? What kind of human summons anomalies like this...?”

“Oh, please. Call me a first-class sorcerer.”

“This is absurd...”

In truth, Dazai Osamu had a background in leftist movements, even having joined an anti-imperialist student federation, but what did that matter?

The anomalies didn’t care about human political inclinations unless they were tutorial fairies.

Ah, of course, the "Central Intelligence Agency" residing in Seoul's Namsan was extremely interested in human ideologies, but let’s save that story for the next episode.

“If you really doubt it, try having Noh Doha recite it next time.”

“Next time...?”

“Yes. Besides this Banzai Cliff, there's another cliff of collective suicide, a place that also encourages mass suicide.”

“Wasn’t this area supposed to be just a resort...?! Hey. Did you come here deliberately to do this? Huh? Do you want to die?”

At the next site, Noh Doha recited the incantation as I had instructed.

Sure enough, the 'shadow people' appeared.

It was not an exclusive spell that only someone like Tang Seorin could use.

A true grand sorcerer is someone who designs a magic system where anyone can cast a Fireball spell and create a fireball of 800 degrees Celsius.

Noh Doha, who had just entered my magic tower, muttered in astonishment, like a student trying Wingardium Leviosa for the first time.

“This really works...?”

“If you align the conditions of Heaven, Earth, and Man, most people can do it. That’s why it’s called a strategy. It’s not for nothing that I call myself an expert on the bizarre.”

“Doctor Jang, what exactly are these shadows? Human souls...?”

“Oh, probably not. They’re just entities made of crude memories and fantasies of people. Shadows, in the literal sense. To add a more complete substance to them, you would really need the incantation of someone who experienced the Pacific War.”

“...”

“Look closely at how they charge together while shouting ‘Banzai.’ There’s no detail. If it were real, there would be people pushed off by others, people attempting seppuku, people forcibly sacrificed, all with different faces and poses.”

That day, I roamed the area with Noh Doha, resurrecting 'unhappy memories' throughout the entire region.

Boom!

The sound of naval guns reverberated across the beach. Only the sound was there. There wasn't even a single fishing boat, let alone a battleship, visible on the sea.

The eerie sound of fighter engines roared in the sky.

Somewhere, I heard the cries of children. The cries had no nationality.

The ‘Battle of Saipan’ had not ended.

The number of shadows jumping off the cliff showed no signs of decreasing. The intangible shadows killed and killed again in an eternal hell.

That’s what the void inherently was.

“...”

While crafting my prosthetics, Noh Doha occasionally glanced towards the cliff.

As I mentioned earlier, I lost my left leg while escaping from Busan.

Noh Doha was crafting a prosthetic for me from some wood he found nearby.

“Ah, Noh Doha. Please tighten the screws a bit more there. It suits me better that way.”

“...”

This wasn’t the first time Noh Doha had crafted my limbs during our 590 turn, so I assisted at the right time.

Normally, Noh Doha would have snapped, "Then make it yourself," but for some reason, he was quiet during this session.

As if he was deeply pondering something.

“What a strange world this is...”

Kneeling on one knee, Noh Doha fitted my left foot prosthetic and finally murmured softly.

“Humans try clumsily to forget, and the bizarre try awkwardly to remember.”

Noh Doha turned to look at me. Slowly.

“And you, too, are a strange human...”

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

* * *

A bizarre and peculiar 'vacation' continued.

Now, I was the object of both contempt and hatred from my beloved comrades, waking up every dawn to the sounds of screams and crying.

'Can I judge myself as sufficiently unhappy now?'

At least for me, the current misfortune weighed heavier than the fortune brought by the ‘Rejuvenation of the Sword Maiden’ or the ‘Great Wall of Aliens.’

Those things were the kind of fortune that, while nice to have, didn’t matter if absent.

Even without the Sword Maiden or the aliens, I would have maintained the frontlines in my own way.

-Screech!

The monkey's paw seemed to agree with this judgment.

Just as there are insiders in the world, there are also outsiders, and someone is always trying to maintain balance.

The monkey's paw, which governed the scales of fortune and misfortune, seemed to feel threatened. It began to pour out fortune more blatantly.

“Doctor Jang. Did you bring the Sword Maiden here by any chance...?”

“Huh? No.”

"When I went out this morning, there were bananas hanging in bunches in front of the house…."

Even without doing anything, food would just appear.

The weather was perfect. The sea had an emerald hue, and the shadows cast by the trees shimmered like sapphire.

It was the kind of environment that made you want to throw on a swimsuit and dive into the ocean.

-BOOM!

Even in such a setting, naval guns were still loud and grand.

The shadows leaping off the cliff were still there. The weather was so clear now that they really looked like professional divers.

Noh Doha commented.

"This is some surreal scenery…."

Indeed it was.

The misfortune I had created and the luck generated by the monkey's paw were now fully at war.

My heart swelled. The competition between Naruto of good fortune and Sasuke of bad fortune grew more intense with each passing day.

One day, as I was strolling along the beach, I found Cheon Yohwa collapsed on the sand, marking the peak of this fierce rivalry.

"...Oh. Yohwa?"

"Teacher…."

Suddenly, Cheon Yohwa grabbed my hand.

"I'm… sorry. I regained my senses recently. But I… Ugh! What did I do to you, teacher…!"

Cheon Yohwa's eyes welled up with tears. The sea breeze tousled her orange hair, and sand clung to her cheeks.

"I had to apologize to you, teacher, so I set out on my own to find you… When the boat capsized, I thought I was going to die, but I survived. I survived and got to see you again… Oh my god. What happened to your leg? Was it because of us...? Ugh. I’m sorry. Teacher. I was wrong. Please forgive me…."

I trembled.

"Is this how you're playing it, monkey's paw?"

As you know, I had used the "pill to be hated" to trigger a tragic, miserable scenario forcibly.

That was the "check" I had thrown.

And now, the monkey's paw had responded with a "checkmate."

In a tragic story, what’s the most delicious part?

No need to even ask. It's the scene where the characters who have been hating and resenting the protagonist all along finally realize that the protagonist was blameless, reflect on their mistakes, and express their regret…!

[I've misunderstood the protagonist] [It was my fault] [I was morally wrong, and the protagonist was right] [So I must apologize and make amends to the protagonist], a truly sinister self-realization…!

Yes, the monkey's paw was trying to make me drink the sweet nectar of satisfaction, according to the rules of tragic narratives.

"Yohwa."

"Yes…?"

"It's alright."

The counter to the monkey's paw's move was also clear.

I smiled a deeply compassionate smile.

"Of course, I forgive you."

"...!"

That's right.

What the monkey's paw desired was a scenario where the protagonist shakes off the other person's hand, saying [It's too late] [You had so many chances, but you threw them all away] [Apologizing now won't change anything].

The protagonist becomes happy while others become unhappy. It’s a cliché of tragic stories.

But.

"No, you didn’t even do anything that needs forgiving. I’ve never been disappointed in you, not even once."

"Teacher…!"

The strategy I chose was to be the "forgiving" protagonist!

No matter if they cut off my leg or not, I would forgive them unconditionally. Even if they had cursed me all over on Doctor Jang’s Gossip Network (renamed from SG Network), I would accept it all.

Not a single drop of satisfaction would be allowed.

This was the perfect counter to the monkey's paw's tricks.

-Screeeeeeeech!

No matter what tricks the monkey's paw pulled, it was meaningless.

The phenomenon of my comrades, like Cheon Yohwa in front of me, being "controlled by the monkey's paw without even realizing it" was a painful misfortune for me.

'Anyway, wasn't it me who caused all this by testing the monkey's paw and putting my comrades in danger?'

All of this was a disaster that I had brought upon myself, so how could I blame anyone else?

Later, I even had to ask for forgiveness from them.

I took Cheon Yohwa to the Korean Peninsula and, on the way, donated my right leg to the awakened ones in Busan before returning.

This time, I deliberately got caught by Tang Seorin.

The highlight was when she cut off my right leg and muttered, "Tch, I was aiming for the heart…!" as she threw my leg away.

-Screeeeeech!

The monkey's paw screeched in the air, foaming at the mouth. It had choked on the plot twist.

Noh Doha was also fuming.

"You really… No, never mind. Yeah. I guess you have your reasons. No need to spell them out. If you come back with just your head, I'll make you some new limbs, so just shut up already… Oh, so you're laughing? You're laughing right now…?"

Left foot. Right foot. Left arm. Right arm.

My body, which had suddenly turned into a quadruple amputee in this genre shift, was now plastered with Noh Doha's special prosthetics.

The battle between the monkey's paw, trying desperately to bring me fortune, and myself, determined to bring misfortune, was thrilling just to witness. But like all battles, this one had a time limit.

Ten years.

‘It’s finally here.’

The end of the 590th turn was fast approaching.

At last, the time limit I had imposed on the monkey's paw was upon us.

And then, precisely on that day, something light happened—the Japanese archipelago was destroyed.

11

When Noh Doha and I woke up in the beach hut and looked out the window, we could instantly tell that the Japanese archipelago had been obliterated.

"...Doctor Jang, that."

"Yes. I see it too."

In a story where a Korean is chosen as the protagonist, the fate of the Japanese archipelago is always grim.

Of course, to me, nationality and race have no particular meaning.

Once your lifespan exceeds four digits, your values change in many ways. Even your perspective on the world.

Manyo Neko, Phantom Blade, Uehara Shino.

The Grand Priestess, Chairperson of the Magical Girl Coalition and its first seat—individuals I hadn't mentioned yet and hoped never to discuss if possible.

They were all my precious comrades.

I knew well their lives and where they intended to go.

In this era where nations have fallen, and governments have collapsed, volunteer soldiers rose from nothing, determined to save those around them.

"We’ll declare this land a cliché-filled zone of hopeful, magical girl stories!"

"Killing demons isn’t about majestic sorrow, it’s about lighthearted laughter! Tragedy doesn’t suit us! Everyone, smile!"

Thus was born the Magical Girl Association.

But there were two kinds of magical girl stories.

On one hand, the story where justice triumphs with the help of comrades. The political faction.

On the other hand, the torture genre, where magical girls are torn apart by despair and sorrow. The demonic cult.

A great war between these factions raged daily in the Japanese archipelago.

And though it’s unfortunate for the magical girls, the genre of this world has always been inherently evil.

"What on earth is that...?"

A red mass.

Suddenly, a massive tower of red flesh rose on the horizon, greedily drinking in the morning sunlight.

It was in the direction of the Japanese archipelago, north of Saipan.

The distance from here to Tokyo was roughly 2,400 kilometers.

The towering 'red mass' revealed its imposing presence beyond the horizon even at that vast distance.

I muttered.

"It's Koyori."

[Translator - Jjescus]

[Proofreader - Gun]

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