The System Mistook Me for a Cat

Jin City, the Chang household.

Chang Yile finally caught a rare moment of leisure with her sister, Chang Yixin.

This summer vacation had been rather lonely for her... No other reason, it was just that her friends seemed to be quite busy.

An Shiyan and Chang Yixin were both attending summer competition prep classes at their school, needing to attend extra lessons every day. An Shiyan was even busier than Chang Yixin, as after school, she had additional tutoring sessions arranged by her parents.

The boys weren't much better off. Tang Zhe had been taken on a family trip, Qin Lan had gone back to his hometown to help out at a relative's resort, and Chu Tingwu had been abroad for over a month.

Chang Yile had tried to meet up with some friends from middle school a few times, but they had all found closer new friends in high school. Finally, today, both her parents were free, and Chang Yixin had finished her homework early. The whole family of four sat on the sofa, digesting their meal, when Chang Yixin asked curiously, "Chu Tingwu isn't back yet? Why didn't you go play with her?"

Chang Yile: "..."

She hesitated for a moment, "I was learning to rollerblade, you know? I actually wanted to invite Chu Chu to join me for a couple of lessons, it's just for fun—"

But when she brought her rollerblades to meet Chu Tingwu early, they tried them out downstairs in their apartment complex. Chang Yile watched in awe as Chu Tingwu mastered the skill from beginner to expert within half an hour. She thought to herself:

If she ever had any complaints about her rollerblade instructor, she could just bring Chu Tingwu along to "kick some butt."

But seeing how dedicated the instructor was, she decided against it.

Chang Yixin: "=="

Their parents turned on the TV, and the living room was filled with lively sounds. The Chang twins sat shoulder to shoulder, both uninterested in the TV, playing with their phones. But then, Chang's Mother exclaimed, "Hey, Xin Xin, Le Le, isn't this the male lead from 'Tiger Head'? The movie you guys watched a lot during the break."

Chang Yile instinctively looked up: "Ah... it's 'No One Survives'!"

She wasn't a fan of Cheng Luwei, having only followed Korean girl groups. But because Chu Tingwu was involved in the movie, and there was also a cameo by "Sanwulu," she had heard about it from Chu Tingwu. Knowing that Cheng Luwei's performance was solid, Chang Yile, out of her fondness for her friend, had become a casual fan of Cheng Luwei.

Though she wouldn't go out of her way to support other movies in theaters, she didn't mind watching free TV programs.

Chang's Father, however, noticed Tong Bei: "Isn't that Tong Bei? Want to watch this variety show? Let's just watch it casually."

Tonight was the premiere of the latest episode of 'No One Survives.' On the screen, the Cat Team of five was seen riding in a program team vehicle on their way to the building.

The rules of the Cat Team weren't too hard to understand. The whole family watched and discussed... but the topic of discussion was Chu Tingwu.

Chang's Mother: "I remember your classmate acted with Cheng Luwei and Tong Bei?"

Chang's Father: "Isn't that Chu Tingwu? Her birthday is April 11th, right?"

Chang Yile: "Her birthday was ages ago! I even gave her a birthday present before!"

Chang's Father: "I heard it from a colleague—on her birthday, wasn't it possible to get cats neutered for free? My colleague, you know, the one I mentioned to you... He wanted to get some stray cats in our neighborhood neutered but never found the time. When he saw the promotion, he caught a few cats and took them there, and it was indeed free. They even helped him catch one he couldn't get himself."

What left the deepest impression on the colleague was that after the procedure, the hospital gave him a free little card. On the front was a Q-version illustration of a girl with cat ears, standing next to a Q-version tabby cat.

On the back was written—

【This is Ah Chu and Sanwulu, my adorable kids. April 11th is her birthday, and the free neutering for cats was her birthday gift. She's naturally very good, and we printed this just to show everyone!】

Colleague: "?"

Got it, got it. Your kid and the cat are both very cute.

The colleague even went to search for Ah Chu, learning that she was a student at No. 5 Middle School and had participated in the filming of 'Tiger Head' with her cat. He specially bought a ticket to support the movie.

After hearing this from his colleague, Chang's Father's impression of Chu Tingwu was "well-off family, deeply loved by her family," and from the casual conversations at home, he also knew that Chu Tingwu was athletically gifted, loved extreme sports and animals. He commented:

"Seems like your friend has good upbringing."

The way her family celebrated her birthday was by doing charity.

Chang Yixin, resting her chin on her hand and staring at the screen, glanced at her dad when she heard this: "Mmm..."

She and her twin sister exchanged a look, tacitly not mentioning Chu Tingwu's family situation.

Chu Tingwu's manners were indeed good, but after knowing her for so long, they had a rough idea... the people celebrating her birthday this time weren't her parents.

It was her friends, fans, and "family" without blood ties.

Chang Yile: "Ah!"

How come that cat on the screen looks so much like Sanwulu?

Chang's Father was still amused: "Oh, this cat is called Wuwu San? Sounds quite domineering, and the name is familiar too. Isn't it similar to Chu Tingwu's cat?"

What similarity, it's the same cat!

Chang Yile pouted, nudging her sister with her arm. Chang Yixin took out her phone and directly entered the 'No One Survives' program on the online streaming platform. The online video was three minutes slower than the TV broadcast, but watching online had real-time comments, making the atmosphere more lively!

Since everyone was watching the same video, Chang Yixin decided to cast her phone onto the TV.

Chang's Father and Mother had to watch the introduction they had just seen three minutes ago again. This time, however, the screen was filled with a series of question marks—

Making a tabby cosplay as an orange cat... what was the program team thinking? Couldn't they just find a regular orange cat if they needed a cat actor? Orange cats aren't rare!

Isn't this the cat from the movie! The one that had a rivalry with Tiger Head—the fake stray tabby big shot cat—doubt the production team couldn't get the orange cat actor, so they settled for the second cat lead.

Yes, because 'Tiger Head' was a movie with animal actors as the main leads, everyone liked to rank the animals like humans, with some purely movie-going audiences believing that, based on screen time, the first lead was Tiger Head, and the second lead was "Xiaohua."

Of course, there was another group of danmu with completely different meanings—

[Is that you, Sanwulu? If it is, meow once!]

[For those who follow the Jin City base: These people still don't know they've hit the jackpot. Oh, no, a cat has four legs, so everyone can take one, and there's still one tail left for Sanwulu to share, fairly evenly...]

Curious about who the mysterious guest of the opposing team is. It feels like an open-book question—could it be that someone who claimed to be studying so didn't open a live stream, only to be caught by fans feeding pigeons at the Suda Plaza?

If Chu Tingwu saw this, she would probably retort:

She wasn't feeding pigeons that day; she was working! It was to help a wildlife protection organization catch an owl that had wandered in! Really, she wasn't feeding pigeons; that was just preliminary work for the capture!

Chang Yile laughed out loud, and the fans' guesses soon came true, as the camera shifted to show the people on the fifth floor, the Dog Team.

Since four out of the five in the Dog Team were fixed guests, even with their faces covered, everyone was familiar with them and could recognize who was who by their figures. The fifth person, wearing a key around his neck that the young master needed to complete the mission, immediately excited the young master's fans.

Hope the older sister Golden Retriever can be nice to our Little Qi. The kid always loses in games during variety shows; let him win this time!

Who is the Golden Retriever sister in the industry? She seems very gentle, should be easy to talk to, right? All those wearing golden retriever masks are good people!

Chang Yile: "No, don't let the golden retriever filter cloud your judgment! Didn't they show the behind-the-scenes footage of her choosing the golden retriever mask earlier? She just thought it was the biggest mask that could cover her entire face!"

Chang Yixin: "If 'Little Qi' is considered a child... then what is Chu Tingwu? Is she still in kindergarten?"

Chu Tingwu's age is less than two-thirds of Little Qi's, so she definitely doesn't qualify as a big sister!

Chang's Mother: "Ah... is this person wearing the golden retriever mask Chu Tingwu?"

Seeing a classmate of her daughter's on TV feels quite peculiar.

— Previously, when Chu Tingwu came over to play with the Chang sisters, their parents were not at home. They had only prepared snacks and drinks in advance. During their trip together, there wasn't much interaction, and they only vaguely remembered that she didn't seem to be very close with her family.

She paid a bit more attention to the screen and stopped checking work messages on her phone.

After all, this was a friend of her two daughters, so it was good to learn more about her.

The cat team on the first floor began exploring the first and second floors, while the dog team on the fifth floor started descending, armed with guns and looking quite bold.

As the cat team discussed and weighed their options, they learned more about the rules and discovered that each person only had four health points.

Tong Bei: "I've also found a rule here: If no one dies within five minutes, it seems that every fifteen minutes, you regain one health point."

So, their disadvantage as the cat team wasn't as significant as they thought.

If they could cooperate, turning the tables on the dog team wasn't impossible!

The scene was normal up to this point, but then the style shifted, and the camera switched to a bird's-eye view, focusing on the young master "Little Qi" as he entered the second-floor stairwell.

Although it was a normal exploration segment, this angle... astute viewers felt—

[Something feels off, is something going to happen?]

[Speaking of which, did the show update their equipment? This kind of shot is usually not seen in variety shows. Is this an indoor drone shot?]

The next second, the camera, raised to a certain height, captured Chu Tingwu's back.

The viewers: "?"

Although this bird's-eye view was cool, and the four shots that took down Little Qi were also cool, even the action of being chased by a cat and climbing up the stairs was crisp and decisive, as if performed by a seasoned action actor... but was the show's camera crew a bit too biased toward the golden retriever mask?

The rhythm and filming technique of this shot felt significantly higher than the others!

The staff members monitoring the show's public opinion: "..."

Could they blame them? Chu Tingwu's movements were large, with many special actions, and the cameraman felt particularly inspired whenever they filmed her. The resulting footage was bound to leave a deep impression... Other guests were just searching rooms, discussing strategies, or occasionally involving some chase scenes. Wasn't that filmed quite stably, with high-quality output? It wasn't that bad!

There were also other ordinary viewers—

[Wait, why doesn't anyone seem surprised? Who exactly is this golden retriever mask? Has her footage not been edited? How can she climb up and down the handrails, or even scale the top of the elevator like Spider-Man? Aren't you all too calm? Why are you still discussing the amount of screen time for different guests?]

[Agreed, I'm also puzzled. With the golden retriever mask's athleticism, it feels like she could take out all the cat team members at any moment. The dog team also has Brother Lin, a fit and strong guy. If she takes him out, she could handle the rest, leading to a real 'no one survives'! The dog team is too strong!]

And there were ordinary viewers who didn't send danmu but discussed directly in voice—

Chang's Father: "Is she a sports specialist?"

Chang's Mother: "Don't talk nonsense! She's very good at academics... so she probably doesn't need to go the sports route!"

The Chang sisters: The point is this? ==

Older viewers weren't too surprised, just thinking they might have seen a so-called "furniture city god of war" action actor on a variety show. It's good, China's action movies have successors... but is she an action movie actress?

The other four members of the dog team had all revealed their faces on camera, but the golden retriever mask hadn't, as if the mask was welded to her face. Chu Tingwu's fans had already recognized her—but since this was the first broadcast and there was no footage of her revealing her face, many guesses were flying in the bullet screen.

From popular female action stars to ballet-trained actresses, and even to a yet-to-debut professional student... supporters of Chu Tingwu and those who thought it was someone else were arguing fiercely in the bullet screen, all staying to see who the mysterious guest from the dog team really was.

The staff monitoring online public opinion and viewership silently thought to themselves:

You probably won't see it, because Chu Tingwu only showed half her face throughout the entire show.

They asked her during the post-interview, and her reason was:

"I like cats, so if others find out I wore a dog mask, I would feel very ashamed."

The staff: "?"

She opened the New Plum app at this moment and found a hot search tail with the tag:

#Chu Tingwu Golden Retriever Mask#

Could pretending not to have been discovered work, Chu Tingwu?

Of course, the Chu Tingwu-related tag was only at the tail end of the trending searches, while others had already made it to the front, either bought by the program team, slightly pushed by the staff, or self-promoted by the guests.

The sixth hot search was about guest Shen Dazui.

His objective was to remove the masks of all the dog team members—obviously, he failed to achieve this goal until the end of the show, but his spirit of effort was worth encouraging.

The danmaku was encouraging him—

[Brother Shen, although you didn't manage to take off the golden retriever mask, you're lucky—you're still alive!]

[Brother Shen, you actually managed to survive from the golden retriever's hands, well done! Good luck with your dog poop luck!]

[Brother Shen, don't cry, look at Little Qi, he's still recovering health points!]

Shen Dazui indeed didn't cry; he was just a bit dazed.

As a "street wanderer" who liked to wander around, his character was to roam freely, which led him to enter this building occupied by a deranged researcher. So, he also acted in character by breaking away from the main group and sneaking up to the second floor on his own.

According to the program team rules, losing health points would automatically recover one point every fifteen minutes. He had been hit by an Alaskan and decided to find a place to slack off for fifteen minutes to fully recover.

This wasn't his first time slacking off in the show; he often did things that sacrificed his teammates but not himself, and both his teammates and the audience were used to it. But when they noticed the camera was always following Brother Shen, the audience first sensed something was off:

Such editing must mean something is about to happen, right?

Brother Shen used his exploration key to open a door and found Tong Bei inside. Both were stunned upon seeing each other.

Tong Bei's stance was the least firm among the group; she could help or betray. Earlier, she seemed to decide to ally with the police duo, reasoning: "We're on the same side in the movies, right?"

Everyone is a good person, trust her!

So she immediately started actively searching for clues and helped the police find the hostage.

At this moment, Tong Bei was holding a hostage pillow, possibly having discovered it earlier in this room, so she had used one of her tools.

Seeing Shen Dazui, she took the initiative: "Brother Shen, where were you? If you were here earlier, I wouldn't have had to waste my key."

Shen Dazui retorted: "I was about to ask you, why did you lock the door? If you hadn't locked it, I wouldn't have had to use my key!"

Everyone's key was disposable!

The two were very familiar variety show partners, so after blaming each other for a while, they naturally wanted to form an alliance. But Shen Dazui's expression suddenly stiffened: "Tong—"

At this moment, Shen Dazui was by the door, while Tong Bei was standing against the back glass curtain wall, which was the outside of the building, so she wasn't worried about enemies appearing, as it would be Brother Shen who would take the hit first.

Just then, she noticed her autonomous flying camera ball had moved to an angle in front of her, changing its filming position.

Tong Bei: "!"

With the sharp instincts of a variety show performer, she realized: there was something behind her!

Had someone entered before her and hidden? But the □□ could only be used by her - theoretically, only she and Shen Dazui could enter through this door... Was Shen Dazui lying? Had he let others in beforehand?

Though these thoughts raced through her mind, Tong Bei instinctively turned to look behind her.

That's when she saw Chu Tingwu fire the second shot.

To be precise, Chu Tingwu was hanging outside the building, one hand gripping the metal window frame, her toes balanced on the window, using her other hand to shoot through the glass—

Theoretically, bullets couldn't penetrate the window.

But this was a sensor gun!

Tong Bei turned to run, but by then, the third shot had already precisely marked her clothes with three red spots.

Tong Bei: "Hold your fire! I'm on your side!"

Chu Tingwu: "?"

Shen Dazui: "?"

Tong Bei quickly explained her special status: she could help either the Cat team or the Dog team eliminate the Cat team until only one remained, which would also count as her victory, so theoretically, she could be Chu Tingwu's potential teammate.

Shen Dazui was utterly shocked: "How could you stoop so low? Our lives aren't single-use, Tong Flower! You're such a disappointment - how can you have zero principles?"

Tong Bei: "Oh, you're so great, you have principles! Why don't you try getting shot three times then? You still have three health points! You didn't come here to explore, did you? You don't even need to find the hostage to clear the game, you need to find the Dog team members... You slacker!"

As she spoke, she seemingly unconsciously moved closer, then suddenly sprang into action, pressing the hostage pillow against Shen Dazui's neck, and shouted to Chu Tingwu: "Teacher Chu, quick... I'm offering him up as proof of my loyalty!"

Shen Dazui: "Hey!!"

The two wrestled noisily, but only they knew they weren't really using their full strength—

As partners for many years, they could coordinate through eye contact and simple body language, now perfectly in sync as they acted out their scene.

The audience could see through it:

[Oh wow, Tong Tong is trying to work with Dazui to lure the golden-haired mask inside!]

[How is she hanging outside like that? She doesn't even have any equipment!]

[You can tell from their expressions they're faking it. I bet one wants to steal the sensor gun... There's no rule saying the Cat team can't use sensor guns, right? Tong Tong definitely wants to steal it and hide it as a backup plan. The other wants to unmask the golden-haired one - his score is 0 right now, just one unmasking would make him look less lazy!]

[Can someone explain how she's hanging from the window like that? This is the second floor, right? The window frame only sticks out less than two centimeters! In the close-up you can only see fingers gripping it! How can a few fingers support her whole body? And with just one hand!]

[Maybe Tong and Shen are planning to run away. The sensor gun working through glass is kind of a bug in the design, but they can still maintain the five-meter distance. If they quietly move beyond five meters, their health won't be in as much danger.]

[Am I the only one who finds this strange? None of you think this is weird?]

[Being strange doesn't matter... Just think of that person outside the window as a bug.]

[Trust me, when it comes to many physical activities, she is a bug.]

[???]

The audience could see through it, and the Chang family could tell from the bullet comments. Chang's Mother was worried: "Does Chu Tingwu know?"

Chang Yile: "She doesn't seem to know anything about the entertainment industry, or about Sister Tong and Brother Dazui's public personas..."

Chang Yixin: "But we don't need to worry about her."

Because... she was simply a bug.

-

Chu Tingwu kept her gun trained on Tong Bei, a smile curling behind her mask: "Alright, wait a moment."

Tong and Shen: "?"

Shen Dazui genuinely wanted to remove the mask, but Tong Bei was actually looking for an excuse to escape. With their goals misaligned, their movements fell out of sync.

Tong Bei tried to back away, while Shen Dazui hesitated.

But he soon lost the luxury of hesitation—

While the floor-to-ceiling window couldn't be opened, the ventilation window above was open. It was a horizontal strip, just slightly wider than a person's head, too narrow for most people to squeeze through.

But Chu Tingwu demonstrated with actions: if your head can fit through, your whole body can follow.

He didn't even see how Chu Tingwu climbed up there. He only saw the masked girl reach out, seemingly able to move straight up and down the vertical glass curtain wall, even jumping, and in two swift seconds she had flipped through the ventilation window, landing smoothly from over three meters high without the slightest wobble.

This is bad, Shen Dazui thought, we've kicked a steel plate.

The steel plate raised her hand and finished off Tong Bei, who had already abandoned Shen Dazui and was just one step away from the room's door.

Tong Bei: "...I'm on your side!"

Chu Tingwu: "My team has no people, only dogs."

Tong Bei: "Then give me a chance to be a dog in my next life..."

Shen Dazui looked down on her with contempt: "You're giving up already? Even after being killed you're still trying to join the other side? Why can't you learn from me - I haven't been killed yet and I still want to join Big Sister Golden Hair... Sister, I only have three health points left, I'll do anything to survive!"

He dropped to his knees impressively fast!

Chu Tingwu sat next to Tong Bei's "corpse" to guard it, looking unconvinced: "Then prove your loyalty."

Shen Dazui's gaze fell on the gun in Chu Tingwu's hand.

Chu Tingwu: "Not that kind of proof."

She said: "Your team still has one cat, right? I don't like cats named Five-Five-Three, if you're going to name them it should be Three-Five-Five—"

Aliali: 6723add52f514816a81b57d6

Tong Bei, lying on the ground playing dead: "?"

She pressed the witness pillow behind her head to make herself more comfortable.

Chu Tingwu: "Surely you can handle one cat? Take off that cat's hood and show me what you've got?"

Chu Tingwu believed that the show producers wouldn't design an "invincible" character. Three-Five-Five couldn't be defeated with a sensor gun, but if the hood came off, wouldn't she stop cosplaying as the orange cat? If she wasn't the Cat team's Police Cat Big Orange, then she could be Chu Tingwu's dear mommy!

Shen Dazui was confident: "It's just a cat!"

If they couldn't remove the human mask, taking off a cat hood shouldn't be too hard, right?

The production team who knew the outcome: "..."

The audience who could foresee the result: "..."

Brother Dazui, don't.

What lies ahead is hell!

THIS CHAPTER UPLOAD FIRST AT NOVELBIN.COM