Chapter 9: Diary
Chapter 9
In the evening, under the setting sun, several boys from the school athletics team were laughing loudly on the edge of the sports field.
"My waist is numb!"
"It's not just numb, I think you're paralyzed from the waist down."
Especially Lu Chi, holding up his phone, constantly waving in front of Lin ChuSui the photo he had just taken of her "social death" moment.
"Oh how affectionate, hugging her from behind."
"Did you notice his arms were spread out like a praying mantis, he didn't know where to put them, laughed my ass off."
"I bet 5 mao that this guy has never been hugged by a girl before."
"There's 360 degree surveillance all over the school field, I'm telling you you two are done for."
Lin ChuSui lay flat on the rubberized field, not wanting to say a word, her whole body lifeless.
Ten minutes earlier, Xiao Yan had left early to go do homework, according to Lu Chi, when he left his face was strangely flushed, unknown whether from heat or embarrassment.
Lin ChuSui was determined, as long as she was not embarrassed herself, it was embarrassing for others instead.
Lu TianBai sat down next to Lin ChuSui, and poked her hand with her fingertips: "Bestie, what's up with you? Didn't you say you don't like him?"
Gazing at the layers of red clouds and the setting sun in the sky, lost in thought, Lin ChuSui murmured: "Sometimes, I feel he's a lot like someone."
Lu TianBai excitedly patted her shoulder: "It must be Nicholas Tse! I feel the same way!"
Lin ChuSui lazily lifted the corners of her mouth: "Sometimes, I feel he's a lot like my dad."
Everyone looked at Lin ChuSui in unison, Lu Chi walked over, patted her head: "Chubby, something's wrong with you, are you obsessed with Uncle Lin?"
Lu Chi pulled his eyes slanted: "Look, do I look like your dad, come on, call me daddy."
Lin ChuSui kicked him over.
But in this world, Lin ChuSui would only allow them to joke like this, if not for their company these past two years, her condition might have been even worse.
At the age when girls love to snuggle in their father's arms and act spoiled, also when they feel most insecure, Lin ChuSui's father had left.
It was like half the sky had collapsed.
And Xiao Yan's appearance, the way he would look at her sometimes, his tone of voice...that sense of familiarity was so strong.
Of course she found it hard to believe in any ghosts or spirits, the spirit writing from before had proven it was Xu JiaNing playing a prank.
However, in this world, some things were truly hard to explain, like how he knew her nickname, how he would say things her dad used to say...
Lu TianBai sat next to Lin ChuSui, hugging her knees, gazing at the clouds and sunset in the distance, sighed: "Such a sad story."
"How is it sad?"
Lu TianBai solemnly patted her shoulder: "A story of "I like you romantically, but you see me as your dad", how is that not sad enough?"
Lin ChuSui retorted just as solemnly: "Then your story might be even sadder than mine."
"How so?"
"I see you as my idol, but you see me as just a fangirl, isn't that sad enough, young maiden?"
"Oh please." Lu TianBai waved her hand: "Idols are meant for fangirling over. And I know my boundaries, a boy as great as Xu JiaNing, there's no way he would notice me."
She was just an ordinary girl that would easily disappear in a crowd, and her studies were not that great either.
Lu Chi curiously leaned over: "Who are you talking about?"
"That transfer from Eaton College, you know, the asshole."
"Sis, let me tell you, I can read that kind of guy's face right away, deceitful and despicable scum! Look what he did to your brother...the male bathrooms on floors 1, 2, 3, all under my management now."
"That was his own fault, don't blame others."
Perhaps it really was the honor student halo, Lin ChuSui searched herself and had to admit, even though she disliked Xu JiaNing through and through, it was hard to deny he was indeed outstanding.
In terms of studies, having grown up abroad since young, his English was great, but his Chinese was bound to be much weaker.
So recently he had begun fervently studying the Four Great Classical Novels, especially *Dream of the Red Chamber*, reading it over and over numerous times.
Lin ChuSui dared to say, even among the local students who had grown up here, very few would have the patience to read through all four classics.
The kind of boy who had good grades, yet was pretentious and deceitful, that even simple and naive girls like Lu TianBai would be infatuated with, it was only reasonable.
Thankfully, Lin ChuSui had seen through his true colors from day one, so Xu JiaNing didn't bother putting on an act of friendliness with her either, the two had disliked each other from the start, but endured each other tacitly.
Lin ChuSui saw Lu TianBai's mood had also dampened, absorbed in her own girl troubles, and said: "Our sweetiepie TianBai is the best in the whole world, that fake foreign devil doesn't deserve you at all."
"Stop trying to comfort me."
"I'm serious, a cutie like you, when you get to college so many boys will be chasing you."
Lu TianBai smiled, revealing two tiny canine teeth: "Really?"
Lu Chi squatted on the ground with arms crossed, raining on her parade: "If she can even get into college is still uncertain."
"Some brother you are." Lin ChuSui pushed him away: "Worry about yourself first, if TianBai can't get in, you have even less chance."
"Doesn't matter to me."
Just then, an unknown number sent Lin ChuSui a message: "Come home, we need to talk."
Lin ChuSui: "Who's this?"
"Xu."
The two were on such bad terms they didn't even bother typing out full names.
Lin ChuSui picked up her schoolbag, slung it over her shoulder, and left the field in fragmented steps: "I'm going."
The sunset behind her suddenly sank away, and her shadow also gradually disappeared into the pitch dark night.
As the city lights began to glow, Lin ChuSui stepped through the night back home, and saw Xu JiaNing about to drive away in his Mercedes.
She ignored him and slowly sauntered back into the house with hands in pockets.
Xu JiaNing said: "Aunt Fang and my dad are back, they'll be landing soon, I'm going to pick them up, want to come along?"
"They're back? How come I didn't know?"
Xu JiaNing casually replied: "Maybe they didn't think it necessary to inform you, after all, whether they come back or not makes no difference to you, you only have your dad in your heart."
He got in the car.
Lin ChuSui scuffed her toes on the moss at the flowerbed edge, too lazy to bother with him.
The Mercedes engine roared to life, Xu JiaNing rolled down the window and called to Lin ChuSui: "Hey!"
She looked up at him listlessly.
"I suggest you take down your dad's photos, or at least only keep them in your own room if you must.
"This is my home, and my dad's home too, why can't I put up his photos?"
Xu JiaNing rolled his eyes: "Please, have some tact."
Lin ChuSui retorted: "I wonder how much tact you have."
So pretentious.
"At least I don't make people around me dislike me."
"What a coincidence, I happen to dislike you very much."
"You're an anomaly."
Most girls didn't dislike him, some even had good impressions of him, yet Lin ChuSui couldn't get along with him no matter what.
Xu JiaNing felt it wasn't his problem.
He rested his hands on the steering wheel and said: "My dad and your mom have formed a new family, I'm sure you don't want to become the unpleasant presence in this household."
Lin ChuSui lowered her head, remaining silent.
"No matter how unwilling you are to accept this reality, they are married now. As their child, whether you like it or not, you have to call my dad Uncle Xu, and I have to call your mom Aunt Fang. If you keep being difficult, there will be consequences."
Lin ChuSui had thought Xu JiaNing disliked this blended family as much as she did, she was surprised to hear him say this, and looked at him: "Xu JiaNing, where's your mom?"
Xu JiaNing's gaze darkened as he said in a low voice: "She divorced my dad when I was very young, she never came to see me either, and has a new family now, probably kids just a few years younger than me, so I don't miss her."
"Oh, but her being alive is still good."
"Sometimes, it's better to be dead. At least you know at the moment he died, he still loved you deeply."
Lin ChuSui said: "I'd rather he didn't love me, as long as he was alive and well."
With different experiences, arguing over this was meaningless.
Xu JiaNing didn't say anything more, and drove off.
This was the first time Lin ChuSui and her new stepbrother had such a calm heart-to-heart.
Lin ChuSui could also see that Xu JiaNing looked forward to this new family very much, even willing to give up his freer life in the UK and return to China for the family's sake.
But Lin ChuSui really found it hard to eagerly anticipate this new life like he did.
She felt it would be a betrayal to her father.
Xu JiaNing's mother didn't love him, but to his last breath, Lin ChuSui's father had loved her deeply.
She could not betray him.
...
Back in her room, Lin ChuSui tore down all the photos in the living room, dining room and bathroom.
When it had just been her mom at home, she could throw little tantrums and fill the house with photos of her dad, because her mom would indulge her, and indulge her dad as well.
But now there was a strange uncle living here, this would soon become the strange uncle's home.
She also didn't want her dad to feel awkward, having to see his wife intimate with another man everyday.
She moved all the photos back into her bedroom, placing them between book pages.
"Dad, now I'm all you have left."
"You always said I was an ungrateful brat, now you know who really loves you, right?"
In the photo, her dad still smiled gently and helplessly.
"Keep smiling, that's all you can do."
Lin ChuSui's nose turned sore, and she flung the frame onto the table: "You had to go risk yourself to save someone else, so selfless, and now some other man gets to live in your home, become your daughter's dad!"
Then, as if afraid she had hurt her dad's feelings, she hurriedly hugged the frame and said: "Don't worry, you'll always be my one and only dad."
"As long as I'm here, this will always be your home, you'll always be by my side."
...
Xiao Yan returned to his room and took out a thick diary from the drawer—
3.14
Today is Xiao Guai's 12th birthday. I gave Xiao Guai a basketball and she was very happy.
Her mother always said girls should learn dancing or piano, running around outside playing balls all day doesn't look like how a girl should be.
I don't know how a girl should look, but I want her to stay as she is, keep her passion, do what she likes, and live the life she wants to live.
5.16
Xiao Guai is pretty good at basketball. Tall boys in the yard often can't beat her.
I taught her to shoot with a step back today. She shot very beautifully.
"First control the ball, fake a breakthrough, then step back. The most important thing is to catch the opponent off guard and don't let them react."
She actually remembered every word I taught her and recited them back to me flawlessly.
Our Xiao Guai is really a genius girl who got distracted by sports!
...
Xiao Yan stood up and went to a whiteboard behind him. He wrote down a line with a pen: Likes sports, good at track and field, competitive, cries easily, acts coquettishly, gloomy, misses deceased father.
This diary had been kept in a personal locker at the fire station. Lin Xiuze told Xiao Yan the locker password so he could take out the diary.
This diary can help him understand Lin ChuSui better.
The diary was very thick, almost like a parenting guide from Lin Xiuze.
From the day his daughter was born, he recorded in great detail every little moment, detail, and surprise in his daily interactions with his daughter.
After being assigned the mission, Xiao Yan spent a long time digesting this diary, getting to know the bits and pieces of the girl who chased after the hearse crying—
She used to be very sunny, like all girls who grew up bathed in warmth and love, spoiled by her parents, with some harmless little flaws.
But she had many more excellent qualities. She used to be a top student, persistent when set on something, never giving up until she succeeded...
Xiao Yan knew perhaps he should give her father back to her.
He was ready to die when planning that fire. The one who should have died was him. But Lin Xiuze pulled him back.
And now, he also has his own family, his sister. He thought maybe his life doesn't have to be so dark, maybe he still has a chance to turn things around.
Xiao Yan had struggled against his unjust fate for so many years. He just couldn't accept it.
He wanted to live, he wanted to get back on his feet.
...
As evening fell, Xiao Yan went to the stew shop to help out.
His sister Xiao Qian looked pretty with her ponytail and apron, briskly taking care of customers.
After putting down his schoolbag and tying on an apron, Xiao Yan picked up a large ladle and stirred the pot filled with simmering stew. The aromatic steam rose continuously.
As he cooked, scenes from the basketball court floated unbidden into his mind.
It had been over a week, and the progress bar remained stuck at 0%, which frustrated Xiao Yan. He even felt this progress bar would never move.
But just now, the progress bar finally jumped to 1%.
This meant the mission could continue to advance.
He analyzed that the progress bar probably moves when Lin ChuSui gives him emotional responses.
All his previous fake caring and confessions could not make the progress bar budge.
Only sincerity can elicit sincerity.
...
When Xiao Yan first came back, his clothes were still damp. Xiao Qian asked, "Xiao Yan, did you go play basketball with friends today?"
"Yeah."
"Rarely see our little brother making new friends."
Xiao Qian knew Xiao Yan had a grim childhood. After the adoption, he was mute for five whole years.
It wasn't until after the accidental fire that he started to open up and interact with others again. But he still had no friends.
"What are the new friends like?"
Xiao Yan answered without thinking, "Very stupid."
"For friends, you don't need them to be smart. Just sincere is good enough."
"Mm."
Xiao Qian put down her ladle, and asked gossipingly, "Boy or girl?"
"Girl."
Xiao Qian's expression became meaningful. After a while, she took out two red tickets from the cabinet and slipped them into Xiao Yan's bag—
"Starting this month, our little brother's allowance is doubled."
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