Chapter 159: A Kilo of meat and a Boat
Chapter 159
March 30th.
The ministers briskly concluded today's grand morning session in Qinzheng Hall, then moved as a group to Liangyi Hall.
Early in the morning, the Bampen brothers had been waiting for an audience with the Da Xia Emperor. After half a day, they were finally summoned.
A group of Wo Countrymen wearing wooden clogs entered Liangyi Hall, and for a time the whole hall echoed with a "clack clack" sound, enough to give one a headache.
Neither Bampen Qiuxin nor Bampen Bushoufu understood the Da Xia language, so when they performed obeisance they spoke Wo language that was unintelligible gibberish to the others. However, their gestures of obeisance were clear enough.
First, through the stiff verbal translation, they flattered Da Xia extravagantly. Then they spoke of the primary purpose for their visit to Da Xia this time.
The gist was to say that their foolish younger relatives had offended Da Xia, and they felt deeply apologetic.
Now their father was advanced in years. When he heard that his sons had drifted to Da Xia, he was extremely distressed. He hoped they could bring his sons back home for a family reunion.
This story was so unbelievable that even ghosts wouldn't believe it.
Most importantly, they didn't mention a word about the years of plundering, arson and last year's large-scale invasion.
Such shameless behavior allowed the Da Xia ministers to learn their lesson once again.
Emperor Xia Jing smiled without mirth, "Oh, so your father is on his last legs?"
The Wo Country translator was stunned, wondering how to translate this. If he relayed it verbatim, wouldn't he get two slaps?
So his eyes flashed as he told the Bampen brothers, "The Da Xia Emperor sends his regards to your father."
There were officials in the Ministry of Rites who understood Wo language. Hearing this divinely smooth translation, they nearly burst out laughing and had to clench their bellies to contain themselves.
Bampen Qiuxin: "Thank you, Your Majesty."
Ministry Official: *sighs* No more, may I be excused for a laugh break?
Due to this godly translation, even Emperor Xia Jing almost lost his composure.
He thought inwardly, were these Wo Countrymen mental? When I cursed his father, he actually thanked me. He must be wishing for his father's death so he can take over!
Thinking thus, he suddenly felt his own son was quite filial.
Emperor Xia Jing didn't want to waste time chit-chatting further with these two crazy heads. He said directly, "I can allow you to bring your brother back. After all, Da Xia has fed him for so long, we can’t let it be for nothing!"
Bampen Qiuxin and Bampen Bushoufu exchanged a glance. "Of course!" They had already prepared themselves for Da Xia’s demand of compensation from them.
Seeing them agree so readily, Emperor Xia Jing was even more certain that their purpose this time was the huge treasure Bampen Turtle Saburo had secreted away.
So he smiled, "That's good. As the land of courtesy and rituals, Da Xia will naturally not make unreasonable demands.
When your clansman first came to Da Xia, he was 136 jin. Da Xia has fed him for half a year, so his weight gain will be calculated at one large treasure ship per jin!"
When Bampen Qiuxin and Bampen Bushoufu heard this, their brains started spinning.
Though unwilling to admit it, Bampen Turtle Saburo was indeed of the Bampen clan. Their Bampen clansmen were not tall, and tended towards difficulty gaining weight.
At most Turtle Saburo could have gained twenty jin over half a year. Twenty jin meant twenty ships. Though on the high side, compared to that batch of treasures it was negligible.
Thinking thus, they immediately nodded in agreement without hesitation. "Fine! Before that, may we see Bampen to confirm he is safe and sound!"
Emperor Xia Jing nodded. "Of course." He ordered someone to bring Turtle Saburo up.
Seeing the meat mountain carried up by six burly men, Bampen Qiuxin and Bampen Bushoufu’s eyes nearly popped out.
They immediately erupted in curses, "Damnit! This isn't Bampen at all, it's a pig! You used a pig to deceive us, utterly unconscionable!"
Sitting in an extra-large bamboo palanquin, Bampen Turtle Saburo heard this and flew into a violent rage. "Damnit, Bampen Qiuxin, you bastard pig who stole Father's woman...[curses]!"
The two instantly tore ferociously into each other, revealing scandals. The Wo Country translator was struck dumb, but the Ministry official vigorously provided simultaneous interpretation.
Moreover, due to Da Xia’s unique tolerance and humor, the Da Xia ministers listened to the gossip with great amusement.
Stories like the son stealing the father's young wife, then the father sleeping with the son's woman, the mutually cuckolded father and son, and so on.
Fortunately Bampen Bushoufu was at the side urging peace, otherwise things could have progressed to an even worse state.
After the spat, the Bampen brothers also confirmed one thing: the pig-like creature before them was indeed Bampen Turtle Saburo.
They finished arguing. Seeing the Da Xia ministers had also watched their fill, Emperor Xia Jing waved a hand and Turtle Saburo was carried away again.
Jiang Wenyuan came up, abacus beads clicking.
After calculating, he told Bampen Qiuxin: "General Bampen Turtle now weighs 337 jin. Minus his original weight of 136 jin when he came to Da Xia, the remainder is 201 jin.
At one jin one ship, that is 201 large treasure ships.
His Majesty is generous, rounding down somewhat, just 200 ships will do!"
"Impossible, this is extortion! This despicable bastard Turtle isn't worth nearly that much."
Jiang Wenyuan said, "One jin one ship, this was your own agreed price. What, you want to renege on the deal?"
Bampen Qiuxin's face was flushed red, "We didn't know he would get so fat!"
"Not my problem. 200 large treasure ships, can't omit a single one."
Bampen Bushoufu said, "Your Imperial Majesty, we really cannot produce so many. Can you cut us some slack?"
"How many can you give?"
"Twenty ships."
Jiang Wenyuan instantly erupted, "Twenty ships? Do you think this is the marketplace to haggle?
You've seen what Bampen Turtle Saburo looks like. The grain he ate in Da Xia alone is worth a ship. No deal if you won't talk sense!"
Saying that, he shot his emperor an eye signal. The emperor understood instantly—pretend to walk out in a temper.
Just then a guard hurriedly ran in. "Reporting to Your Majesty, I have an urgent matter to report!
While being carried back just now, Bampen Turtle Saburo kept mumbling about some treasure and islands or something. I suspect they have concealed an enormous fortune."
The Da Xia ministers were delighted to hear this. Emperor Xia Jing instantly reacted, "Good! Take him to Prison for interrogation!"
Bampen Qiuxin and Bampen Bushoufu paled in fright, rushing to block Emperor Xia Jing. "Your Majesty, do not believe his words, he is a swindler! We have been fooled by him many times, you must not fall for it!"
Emperor Xia Jing halted his actions. "Truly?"
Cold sweat was beading on Bampen Qiuxin. "This subject does not dare lie."
Yet inwardly he cursed Bampen Turtle Saburo for refusing to disclose the treasure even when telling the Da Xia people, determined to hurry Turtle Saburo back to Wo Country and pry the treasure location out of him. Then Turtle Saburo could die.
Emperor Xia Jing seemed to believe them and sat back down.
Bampen Qiuxin quickly said, "Your Majesty, we cannot produce 200 ships worth. Moreover we came with utmost sincerity this time!"
Emperor Xia Jing said, "Sincerity? Hmph! Don't bother deceiving Us. Whether Turtle Saburo spoke true about some treasure, we both know clearly.
Otherwise you also wouldn't have rushed over mountains and seas to fish him out.
Just say outright how much you can offer. If the price is suitable, We’ll let you bring Turtle Saburo back. Otherwise We guarantee you will never see him again.
Da Xia's vast territories keep Us very busy without time to waste on your petty schemes."
This was speaking tough straight away.
When faced with such a hardline Da Xia Emperor, Bampen Qiuxin was helpless. He could only take out his baseline offer: "Thirty ships at most!"
"Fifty ships. Not one less or no deal. Otherwise we kill him directly. This faraway treasure means little to Da Xia, but perhaps not so for the Bampen clan."
"Your Majesty, this matter is too important. Can you give us one more day to consider?"
"Granted!"
After the envoys of Wo Country left the palace, Emperor Xia Jing walked down from the throne and asked Jiang Yuqing, "Qingbao, will they agree?"
Jiang Yuqing said, "They will! Just as Your Majesty said, our Da Xia is a grand undertaking, even without this treasure it will not have any impact on our Da Xia.
But for the people of Wo Country, the current power struggle for the position of shogunate general is no less intense than the struggle for the heir apparent in the previous dynasty. They desperately need this batch of treasures to consolidate their power."
Jiang Wenyuan put away his abacus, "But fifty large ships are no small number, it can almost cripple the Bampen clan.”
“If the recovered treasures are not even enough to buy these fifty ships, wouldn't they suffer a huge loss?"
Jiang Yuqing nodded, "As my father said, they are not fools either. Of course, they have also considered such a possibility.
It's just that the blood of this ethnicity has an inherent crazy gambler mentality. They tend to think this is a huge treasure.
After all, a fleet of tens of thousands, more than ten years of plunder, the total must be an astronomical figure.
Another important reason is that not only Wo Country's Bampen family knows that Bampen Turtle Saburo is in our hands, but also their opponents.
If they don't get Turtle Saburo back and get their hands on this batch of treasures, once their opponents get it first, they will have nowhere to die."
"What Qingbao said makes sense."
Just as the saying goes, when you are sleepy, someone will bring you a pillow. The next day another group of Wo people entered Beijing. This group was the arch-rival of the Bampen family.
The Ministry of Rites officials, in the name of they are compatriots of Wo Country, very "thoughtfully" arranged them next to the Bampen brothers, which pissed these two guys off.
Bampen Qiuxin and Bampen Bushoufu could no longer sit still, and responded that same day. They were willing to exchange fifty treasure ships for the return of Bampen Turtle Saburo.
However, the treasure ships they brought with them this time were only twenty-one, far from the number Da Xia requested. They asked Da Xia to give them a little more time to go back and launch the treasure ships.
Emperor Xia Jing naturally agreed. It's just that meeting their arch-rival on the same day really irritated Bampen.
Some officials from the Ministry of Rites laughed and poured wine to accompany them drinking.
When they drank almost enough, one of them poked Bampen Qiuxin in a brotherly manner, "In my opinion, why do you two brothers still need to go back to launch ships, it’s too cumbersome to go back and forth.”
He made a fist with his right hand, extending his thumb to point behind him, "Didn't the guy next door come with more than thirty treasure ships!"
He gestured slightly under his own neck, grinning evilly, "As long as you are bold enough, you can always make up the ships.”
Bampen Qiuxin and Bampen Bushoufu looked at each other and grinned ferociously at the Da Xia official, giving him a big thumbs up, "You are very smart!"
"Well said, well said..."
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