The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Chapter 54

Xie Cheng reluctantly attended the so-called "Mu Yi Star Alien Friendship Association" with a suppressed anger. He could hardly imagine what kind of brainwashing these bunch of scumbags had put Lan Xi through, making her believe that she was an alien princess.

To his surprise, the organizer of the association turned out to be Wang Zhiqiang, and the venue was set at the Jinlin Club. While suppressing his anger, Xie Cheng drove with Lan Xi towards the club, thinking of a hundred ways to permanently shut down the Jinlin Club.

These people were truly lawless!

And Wang Zhiqiang shamelessly conducted registration in front of the private room. Before entering the room, Xie Cheng pretended to receive a work call and asked Lan Xi to go ahead.

Naturally, he didn't trust leaving Lan Xi alone. It was just a ploy to lure the snake out of the hole. He had no choice but to let Lan Xi go first, unaware of the situation, while Xie Cheng closely followed behind. He had a pinhole camera with him, ready to capture all the criminal activities and submit the evidence to the relevant authorities.

As expected, when Wang Zhiqiang saw Lan Xi, he had a sly look on his face and whispered something to brainwash her. He even boasted about "doing" Xie Cheng. But even when Xie Cheng caught him red-handed, Wang Zhiqiang only showed slight nervousness before continuing with his act, repeatedly referring to himself as the "Princess Consort." Xie Cheng began to suspect that something was wrong with his mind.

If the story had ended there, it would have still been within Xie Cheng's comprehension. However, what happened next took a fantastical turn.

Wang Zhiqiang appeared to be on the verge of collapse, and then Xie Cheng watched as he waved his hand towards the tea cup on the table, and miraculously, the cup flew through the air and landed steadily in his hand.

Was this... telekinesis?

Xie Cheng stared, fixed on Wang Zhiqiang.

The other man hesitated, as if realizing that he had unintentionally done something incredible. Wang Zhiqiang looked at Lan Xi, seeking her approval, and her calmness seemed to put him at ease.

He weakly smiled at Xie Cheng, "President Xie, uh, I mean, Prince Consort, as you can see, we Mu Yi Star people are actually different from your Earthlings. We possess certain unique abilities."

He awkwardly scratched his head, "Compared to the princess and the others, I don't really have any special abilities. I can only do telekinesis."

"At first, this ability was of no use when I arrived on Earth. But ever since I started working in the company, I discovered the benefits of this power. I can easily serve tea and water at any large-scale meeting with a simple wave of my hand, improving efficiency and gaining the appreciation of my superiors. Step by step, I made my way up in the company... I usually control it well, only using it when nobody is around, even my wife doesn't know..."

"..."

Xie Cheng could have dismissed what he had just witnessed as an illusion, but Wang Zhiqiang seemed to have given up the pretense. He finished his tea, then waved his hand at the cup, causing it to automatically return to its original position on the table.

As the conversation progressed, Wang Zhiqiang seemed to recall something, and his pale face, which was just moments ago, suddenly regained its color. "Speaking of which, my wife is also a genuine Earthling, just like you, Mr. Xie. So, I fully support the union between Mu Yi Star and Earth. We are pioneers in this practice, and in the future, we can be considered a harmonious intergalactic family. If you have any questions or don't understand something, feel free to discuss it with me. I am particularly knowledgeable about the intricacies of interstellar marriage and can impart my wisdom to you almost free of charge!"

"Almost free of charge?" Xie Cheng raised an eyebrow.

Wang Zhiqiang chuckled awkwardly and said, "I mean, it's just a figure of speech. I would charge a fee."

Xie Cheng furrowed his brow, still trying to process everything, when Lan Xi enthusiastically chimed in, "We Mu Yi Star people are really helpful. When I first arrived on Earth, it was Wang Zhiqiang who took care of me. He not only escorted me to the police station but also helped me with my identification documents. Thanks to him, I was able to secure a new job here. I even borrowed around eighteen thousand from him, and he wrote off one digit, so I only had to repay twenty thousand!"

The more Lan Xi spoke, the more embarrassed Wang Zhiqiang became. "Well, Mr. Xie, you can't blame me entirely. It's mainly because Earth is so competitive, and I fell into the trap of its evil consumerism. I'm just financially strained..."

However, at that moment, Xie Cheng couldn't care less about Wang Zhiqiang's financial troubles. He was completely absorbed in astonishment.

Before coming here, he had believed that all of this was a scheme concocted by Lan Xi to manipulate him. But now, he was beginning to realize the terrifying truth—could it be... real?

Was this really a gathering of extraterrestrial compatriots?

Although it was not surprising for strange things to happen around Lan Xi, considering she was a woman who confounded algorithms and defied predictability, this situation seemed a little too far-fetched.

"Are your identification documents and resume all fake?"

Lan Xi looked somewhat embarrassed, her eyes darting around. But soon, she cleared her throat and confidently said, "As a princess, shouldn't I possess these Earth certificates? After all, I have the same qualifications as required by these certificates. I just didn't take the exams. For convenience, I obtained these certificates. So, even though they're fake, you can consider them real. Judging a person's abilities shouldn't solely rely on whether their certificates are genuine."

"...," Xie Cheng remained silent, thinking that it sounded like saying, "Even though I dropped out of high school, my abilities are on par with those who graduated from top universities like Tsinghua and Peking University."

Thus, the heart-wrenching story of growing up in the mountains, losing both parents, and overcoming adversity to acquire numerous certificates—all of it was... fake?

Unfortunately, Xie Cheng didn't have time to sort out his thoughts because Wang Zhiqiang quickly grabbed Lan Xi's arm as if he had something to report. At the same time, he warmly pushed open the door to the private room, ushering Xie Cheng inside.

Inside the room, there were already around ten young men and women, mostly men. As Xie Cheng took a closer look, he was surprised to find a couple of good-looking young male internet celebrities among them...

The situation was becoming more and more unbelievable.

Almost as soon as Xie Cheng entered the room, all eyes focused on him, scrutinizing him as if they were evaluating merchandise, and then they began discussing him as if they were selecting goods—

"His height is decent, and he has some degree of attractiveness. He can't be considered particularly ordinary or mundane."

"If it weren't for my early marriage, would the princess choose him? We're on a similar level."

"Hey, what's your background? Which city in Mu Yi Star are you from? How many people are there in your family? What's your educational background? Do you have any special abilities?"

...

Xie Cheng composed himself and stared at the young man who asked the question, "And what special ability do you have?"

"Me? My special ability is to temporarily freeze time on an object, like this."

As he spoke, he casually knocked over a cup of tea, and then with a gentle flick of his finger, the tea cup remained suspended in mid-air, along with the spilled tea.

Inspired by his example, the other young people began to show off their own abilities.

"I can generate electricity!" With these words, sparks of electricity appeared in his hands. He smirked confidently and said, "So when many Earth girls see me, they feel electrified and can't help but fall in love with me."

"I can turn invisible!" The person in front said, and indeed, the person disappeared, leaving only floating clothes behind.

"As for me, I can control a small patch of clouds to make it rain. Hehe, how fascinating!" The speaker pointed to another person beside him and said, "He can manipulate electronic devices and magnetic fields."

Following the sound, Xie Cheng was astonished to find that the person speaking was none other than the mentally challenged villagers he had encountered at the amusement park.

So...

If he followed this train of thought, the inexplicable events at the amusement park seemed to have an explanation. Why there was a cloud that rained only when Lan Xi was around, and why Xie Cheng's phone and other electronic devices couldn't function.

As much as Xie Cheng didn't want to believe it, seeing was believing. The people in the private room, almost without exception, possessed extraordinary abilities and most of them proudly demonstrated their skills.

One young male internet celebrity, clearly harboring hostility towards Xie Cheng, said, "You've asked us all these questions, why don't you introduce yourself? What abilities do you have? Speak up and let us hear."

As he said this, a few arrogant individuals chimed in, "That's right! Let's see what ability you have that captured our princess! Unless you can make us all impressed and convinced, don't even think about holding onto the position of Prince Consort!"

The atmosphere intensified, and all eyes focused on Xie Cheng.

Finally, Xie Cheng had a slight realization that Lan Xi might indeed be a princess.

It seemed there were quite a few people in Mu Yi Star vying to become the Prince Consort...

Fortunately, Xie Cheng was accustomed to such situations. In the business world, due to his youthful appearance, he had been questioned by many partners. In such moments, the best course of action wasn't to show fear or desperately explain but to succinctly shut everyone up with a single sentence.

That's what Xie Cheng thought, and that's what he did.

He calmly surveyed the room.

"I have the ability to create cash."

"Cash as in banknotes."

The entire room fell silent.

...

The Mu Yi Star people who had just been defiant now wore expressions of defeat or reluctant admiration.

"I never expected it to be the ability to create cash. Now I understand."

"This ability is absolutely top-notch on Earth, I lost."

"I was just too loud earlier... Call me 'Brother' whenever there's a chance to make money. From now on, you'll be my only brother."

...

It seemed that the ability to make money was extremely useful throughout the entire universe. The hostile atmosphere that was present before completely disappeared, and Xie Cheng was warmly surrounded by the Mu Yi Star people.

After a moment, Lan Xi and Wang Zhiqiang entered the room and were surprised to see that Xie Cheng had already formed a bond with this group of young Mu Yi Star people.

"These young people are quite difficult to deal with. Xie Cheng, you're truly amazing. They must have sensed your unique charm!"

Xie Cheng didn't know if these people had felt his charm, but the scent of the Chinese yuan on him must have captivated everyone present.

However, now was not the time to get closer to the other party. Xie Cheng pursed his lips and pulled Lan Xi, leading her outside the private room.

**

"Are you really a princess? From another planet?"

Xie Cheng had never imagined that one day he would ask such an absurd question, but what was even more absurd was that Lan Xi nodded calmly and said, "Yes, didn't I tell you earlier?"

"Are all the people attending today's gathering from other planets?"

Lan Xi nodded again.

"Besides them, are there other extraterrestrial beings in Rong City?"

"Of course." Lan Xi pondered for a moment and pursed her lips. "Dong Ying, whom you met before, is my cousin."

Xie Cheng couldn't help but widen his eyes as he recalled his encounter with Dong Ying, where he couldn't control his mouth and his legs seemed to lose their will. "So, what is her special ability?"

"Her words can give people psychological suggestions, so as long as you hear her say something in person, you will follow the meaning of her words in a variable period of time..." Lan Xi seemed unhappy. "Anyway, she has always been my arch-nemesis, so she's not invited to this gathering!"

Did Lan Xi really think that seeing a doctor could solve the problem when she confidently claimed she didn't need to?

Xie Cheng was speechless. He had never expected that there would be such high-profile extraterrestrial beings around him.

"Have you ever been... violated by someone before?" Xie Cheng carefully chose his words. "When you mentioned sleeping earlier, did it mean that on your planet, there is a special openness or a need to sleep with others to reproduce?"

"Sleeping is just sleeping. What does it have to do with reproduction?"

Xie Cheng furrowed his brows, and his emotions seemed unable to relax. "So, when the Mu Yi Star people sleep, it's purely for... physical pleasure? Aren't you afraid of other issues arising?"

Lan Xi couldn't help but question his soul. "Everyone sleeps together, each in their own space. What problems can arise? At most, if someone has bad sleeping habits, it might affect the other person's sleep quality. As for sleeping, of course, it's for the pleasure of the body! Because for us, eating and sleeping are two important means of restoring energy. Only when we have enough sleep can our bodies feel comfortable! Isn't it the same for you humans?"

This question clearly left Xie Cheng bewildered. He remained dumbfounded for a while, staring at Lan Xi, until he seemed to discern something extraordinary from her innocent gaze. Lan Xi noticed his slight frown and tentatively asked, "So, when you say 'sleep,' do you mean simply lying on a bed and covering oneself with a blanket?"

Lan Xi shook her head. "If it's too hot, there's no need for a blanket, and sometimes a bed isn't necessary either. Like the time when Xie Yunfei and I slept together, we slept in a car."

"...," Xie Cheng's expression was explosive.

"So, when you invite me to sleep, it's actually... just sleeping?"

"Of course! Unfortunately, you stubbornly refuse to sleep with me! That time in the countryside, you went to sleep because you wouldn't let me sleep with you. I had to force myself to keep my eyes open all night!"

"What about those sleeping positions you claim to be proficient in?"

"Lying flat and sleeping on the side! What other sleeping positions are there? I sleep like this every day, I've mastered it! Don't you know how?"

"...,"

Lan Xi was puzzled. Why was Xie Cheng still holding onto this matter and seemed to care so much? So she immediately assured him, "Rest assured, even though I have much greater strength and a more esteemed position than you, I'm not the type to dominate others through force. I will definitely respect you, so if we don't sleep together, we won't. In the future, we can sleep in separate rooms!"

This should have been good news that would put Xie Cheng at ease, but when he heard it, he clearly couldn't muster any happiness.

Observing Xie Cheng's complex and hesitant expression, Lan Xi found it very strange.

What's wrong now?

Lan Xi patiently waited for Xie Cheng to speak, but his face became increasingly awkward. After a moment, as if unable to bear it any longer, he finally gritted his teeth and said, "If our relationship continues to develop, what's the point of sleeping in separate rooms?"

"?"

"Couples can sleep together, of course." Xie Cheng coughed, his voice sounding somewhat unnatural. "For those who haven't confirmed being in a couple, of course, they can't just sleep together casually. But for couples, it doesn't matter. If we get married in the future, we'll have to sleep together every day."

"Well, of course!" Lan Xi sincerely exclaimed with excitement. "On our planet, eating and sleeping are our favorite things! I really love sleeping!"

Even with this agreement, Xie Cheng still seemed uncomfortable. "There's another important correction regarding sleeping."

"The sleeping that Earthlings talk about sometimes isn't the same kind of sleeping you have in mind. The sleeping positions that Earthlings talk about are not what you understand..."

"What kind of positions are they then? Do you know? Have you tried them out? If you're skilled, you can teach me! I'm a fast learner!"

Faced with Lan Xi's question, Xie Cheng only averted his gaze slightly, his face turning red. "I haven't actually tried them specifically, but I'm also a fast learner, and these things require both people to practice together. We'll talk about it later."

I see! Lan Xi nodded. "Then let's practice when we get back from the gathering!"

Sleeping was one of Lan Xi's favorite activities to replenish her energy. She had heard that there were differences between Earthlings and Mu Yi Star People in terms of sleeping and sleeping positions, which instantly ignited her passion for learning. She was eager to study new techniques, ready to roll up her sleeves and delve into it.

However, her proactive attitude towards learning was once again halted by Xie Cheng's intervention. "No, you can't."

"Why not? You said I could sleep with you!"

"It's daytime now," Xie Cheng replied, glancing at the blue sky outside with an awkward expression. "Usually, it's at night."

Oh, Lan Xi understood this kind of situation! On Mu Yi Star, some of their people's abilities had certain restrictions, such as being usable only on rainy days or when they were feeling happy.

"So, you can't sleep during the day, right? Only at night?"

"No! I can sleep during the day and night, but it's just that during the day... it feels too decadent," Xie Cheng said, his neck inexplicably turning red even though the weather wasn't particularly hot. "Let's save it for later, for the nights to come."

Nighttime is nighttime.

Lan Xi checked the time and said, "Okay, I'll set an alarm. Now, let's go in and entertain my fellow clansmen!"

Just as Lan Xi turned to push open the door and walk into the private room, Xie Cheng once again stopped her. "Wait."

"Hmm?"

Xie Cheng looked conflicted, as if there was a battle within him. "I have another question."

Lan Xi gestured for him to speak.

After staring at Lan Xi for a while and hesitating, Xie Cheng finally spoke with some discomfort. "I understand that extraterrestrials can take on various forms, and I don't mind that. After all, you can appear just like humans, and I'm not fixated on knowing your true form."

Xie Cheng seemed to struggle with his words, but then he blurted out as if he had made up his mind. "But considering the future, I want to be mentally prepared. If we have children in the future, will they have eight legs or four legs?"

???

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