The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Chapter 49

Xie Cheng thought this way and asked this way as well.

"Romance scam? How is it a scam..." Faced with Xie Cheng's question, Lan Xi did not know how to respond, but she felt a little guilty. Subconsciously, she even forgot to lie, "I actually did everything according to that...a guidebook on how to quickly captivate men. I followed the guidebook very seriously..."

As a result, this explanation seemed to add fuel to the fire. Xie Cheng looked even angrier, "A guidebook? You even made a guidebook? So anyone would do? You did those things just according to the step-by-step process written in the guidebook without any sincerity? How many men have you captivated like this in total? Have they all been captivated by you?"

"No...not really. I customized it..." Lan Xi felt more and more guilty. Her voice became softer and she felt a little wronged as well. "I've only done this to you and Xie Yunfei so far. Up until now, I haven't successfully captivated anyone..."

Speaking of this, Lan Xi could not help but feel distressed as well: "I spent most of my energy trying to captivate you. You were my first target that I tried so hard to captivate yet still failed. I tried so hard and did everything the guidebook said! Yet you still refuse to be captivated by me! So can you blame me for switching targets? It's because you don't cooperate."

"As for Xie Yunfei, he cooperates much more than you do, so I don't even need to follow the guidebook with him. He's already very proactive and willing..."

"The first one you tried so hard yet unsuccessfully to captivate...then how many have you effortlessly captivated before?"

"None. I've never captivated anyone else before." Why would Lan Xi need to captivate anyone else before? She was a princess!

However, this answer at least made Xie Cheng's expression a little better. He coughed and asked seemingly casually, "One should finish what they started. I'm better than Xie Yunfei. Of course, I'm harder to captivate. Your ordinary tactics simply don't work. But as long as you persevere, success is not impossible. As long as you are sincere and persistent, many difficulties can be overcome."

He glanced at Lan Xi, "You clearly lack persistence. The moment you don't succeed in captivating your target, you immediately give up and switch to another one. In the end, you will accomplish nothing."

"That's not it. Mainly I realized Xie Yunfei is better than you. People all say that Cheng An is richer than Cheng Xin! And the company is bigger too! Captivating him is more...useful!" Lan Xi answered seriously, "And what you said about accomplishing nothing does not exist! There are no difficult tasks in this world, one only needs to be willing to give up. You are harder to captivate, but Xie Yunfei is easier. I know myself clearly now. I'll give up on the difficult one and find an easy one instead. Doesn't that make life easier? I won't need to put in effort or suffer either..."

...

Xie Cheng felt that ever since meeting Lan Xi, his temperament and virtues have improved further. After all, every time before his virtues were about to snap, he could quickly calm down and restrain himself, and even his state of mind ascended an entire level. His whole soul has been sublimated.

Are the words Lan Xi just said human words?

It turns out everything has been Xie Cheng's own delusions from beginning to end? What reliance on him, special feelings for him, not understanding normal interpersonal interactions thus appearing innocent and genuine?

Xie Cheng now realizes that everything was his own embellishment of Lan Xi.

She's not that innocent at all! How could he not have realized that although she doesn't understand interpersonal interactions, it doesn't mean she is innocent. There can be bad eggs among fools too!

He always felt Lan Xi was foolish, but only now does Xie Chen realize that he himself was the fool to fall for an emotional scammer like Lan Xi and jump in himself.

Xie Cheng truly and sincerely struggled before finally seeing clearly his own feelings for the first time and earnestly wanting to confess to her, only to get this kind of result.

Xie Cheng never expected this kind of development before.

He originally thought all it would take was a heartfelt confession and he would get the ending he wanted—to move Lan Xi's heart. But he never considered that although Lan Xi has a heart, it may be a black heart...

And as if afraid he wouldn't die of anger, Lan Xi actually patted him on the shoulder with a pretentiously profound look and said righteously, "Xie Cheng, it's okay. You like me and want to be with me, that's equivalent to you wanting to captivate me, right? But I'm very difficult to captivate, so you only need to switch to an easier target!"

What is she saying?

Luckily he hasn't confessed yet. Amidst his indignation, Xie Cheng feels some relief as well. This woman simply has no heart. Although he was tricked, since he hasn't taken the initiative to confess, it means he hasn't revealed his hand. Rounding it off, it means he hasn't been tricked.

He should have just ignored her and walked away, but Xie Cheng's legs seemed to disobey him as he remained firmly rooted.

"I'm not as fickle as you." Xie Cheng held in his anger and tried his best to keep a calm and steady appearance. "Since I want to do something, of course I'll try my best and persist. Don't assume everyone is so fickle."

...

Lan Xi felt quite comfortable. At this moment, she secretly felt a trace of schadenfreude, suddenly understanding a popular Earth saying—just as you once ignored me whether I lived or died, now I'm too prominent for you to pursue.

When she was desperately trying every way to captivate Xie Cheng, how did he respond?

And now he finally deeply feels her innate noble temperament and wants to captivate her instead?

Humph!

Lan Xi felt a little smug, and also a little inexplicably nervous. But she still bluffed and said calmly, "The very comprehensive guidebook I have says that one always faces choices in life, and sometimes knowing when to let go at the right time is also a type of wisdom..."

Unfortunately, Xie Cheng's voice was no longer calm and steady this time. He even sounded a little exasperated interrupting Lan Xi, "I don't know what trash guidebook you read, but your description of your feelings for Xie Yunfei earlier is definitely not liking. Because if there is only a peaceful mood, not even ambiguity, let alone liking. Caring deeply for someone, emotions will naturally ebb and flow with them. It's impossible to be as tranquil as you described."

Lan Xi felt confused. That uneasy nervousness came again. She panicked trying to refute while having no idea why she felt so flustered, "But the guidebook said..."

"What your trash guidebook says is wrong! Where did you buy that garbage stall guidebook? Stop reading it!"

"How do you know it's wrong!" Lan Xi's emotions became indescribable, making her feel out of control. She didn't know what was going on with herself. She only instinctively felt danger approaching, giving her the urge to flee.

But Xie Cheng didn't give her the chance. As she reflexively wanted to spout nonsense to change the subject, Xie Cheng interrupted her.

His voice sounded unnatural. His complexion was also resigned as if he had wanted to endure but finally couldn't stand it anymore. And this time, Xie Cheng finally shifted his gaze back to Lan Xi.

Then Lan Xi heard his slow and distinct voice, slightly nervous and uncomfortable—

"Because I like you."

After saying this, Xie Cheng finally relaxed, as if having taken the most difficult first step. He took a deep breath. His tone was still a little nervous, carrying a pretense of composure he couldn't maintain.

He seemed to have gone all in—

"Because I like you, so I unconsciously always look at you; because I like you, I feel you're very cute; because I like you, I don't want you hurt; because I like you, so I want to help you. But also, because I like you, upon seeing you smoothly switch to pursuing Xie Yunfei, I got very angry; seeing you together everyday irritated me to no end; you proposing to him made me only want to sabotage things, and seeing you intimate with others, I have no desire to congratulate..."

"Liking someone to the point that I experienced very positive emotions, willingly making time for you when you need it, always feeling compelled to be by your side when you need me. But liking someone also let me experience darker emotions that I've never felt before," said Lan Xi.

"Darker emotions?"

Lan Xi's heartbeat grew erratic and chaotic. Her gaze that had been fixed on Xie Cheng now darted around uncertainly. This was a scenario absent from the Guidebook; she had no experience dealing with such situations. Not knowing what to do with her hands or feet, her breathing quickened. She also didn't understand why she reflexively avoided eye contact with Xie Cheng.

She was curious about the answer, yet also afraid of it.

The many unknowns left Lan Xi at a loss. She felt like an outsider who had just been thrown into a jungle, forced to face an entirely new environment and dangers lying in wait. Yet her whole body was frozen stiff, unable to even lift her legs to run away. She just stood fixed in place like a fool who had wandered straight into a trap, as if her cooperation could win her the pity of her opponent.

Fortunately, Xie Cheng was thinking the same thing. His gaze went past Lan Xi, looking at the plants behind her as his face twisted in distress. But resigning himself to the inevitable, he took a deep breath and answered Lan Xi's question in a dry, doomed-sounding voice:

"For example, hoping there weren't so many people who liked you and coveted your looks, hoping there weren't so many people who noticed your good points, hoping there weren't so many people surrounding you. Hoping that when you encounter difficulties, I'm the first person you think to turn to for help."

"Hoping that your marriage proposal to Xie Yunfei fails, hoping that he rejects you, even hoping that you feel heartbroken and devastated."

Why! Conquering Xie Yunfei was her most important mission! How could Xie Cheng inwardly wish for her failure with such dark thoughts!

Lan Xi felt a little angry and vaguely resentful. "Why would you want me to feel heartbroken and devastated?"

Xie Cheng seemed unwilling to answer this question, yet after holding it in for half a day, he still gave a bad-tempered response:

"Why? Because that way, when you feel heartbroken I can comfort you, letting you know what a scumbag Xie Yunfei is and how good I am. I want you to be able to compare and clearly see who you should be liking instead."

Having said this much, Xie Cheng paused before adding, "I've never disliked Xie Yunfei more in my life." He glanced at Lan Xi. "It's because I like you that I dislike him."

"Seeing you with Xie Yunfei makes me feel irritable and furious. I can't even sleep well or work properly—it's severely disrupting my normal life. That is the negative emotion that liking someone brings."

Although she now knew the answer, Lan Xi felt even more out of sorts than before. Her whole being seemed to grow even stranger, assailed by doubts, nervousness, exhilaration and some inexplicable smugness. She felt as if she had gotten hold of an incredible secret on Earth that no one in the Guidebook had ever explored, one that only she in the entire universe knew.

Still, numerous questions sprang to mind amidst the mess of emotions buffeting her. "If liking someone has so many side effects, wouldn't it be better to not like someone instead?"

As the first Moying star person to have discovered humans' secret, not to mention an imperial princess, Lan Xi felt obliged to document the finer details of humans' concept of "liking someone" and update the Guidebook. That would enable more Moying star people in the future to take shortcuts and swiftly conquer humans.

Therefore, despite the complex turmoil roiling inside, Lan Xi braced herself against the odd palpitations, struggling to steady her heartbeat. She conducted her research dutifully and professionally.

Xie Cheng looked a little helpless. "I wish I could."

Lan Xi took out a notebook. "Can it be cured?"

Xie Cheng froze in shock. "What are you doing?"

"I want to take notes."

"I'm confessing my feelings here! Lan Xi!" Xie Cheng felt that it was a medical miracle he hadn't been angered to death.

How could there be such an oblivious woman! Was her emotional quotient inversely proportional to her beauty?

Xie Cheng felt everything was going disastrously wrong. He had warned himself not to confess, yet Lan Xi's blank expression and brief questions made him completely abandon his plans. Chagrined and furious, he blurted everything out in one breath.

For the first time in his life, Xie Cheng—usually so familiar with the rules of human society—had become awkward and flustered while Lan Xi remained composed and normal. It was as if their roles had reversed:

Lan Xi said matter-of-factly, "Mm, I know. This is the first time I've received a confession, so I want to document everything!"

"So, is there any cure for your condition?" Lan Xi asked earnestly. "I want to know the treatment methods—to help more people in the future if I can."

"You don't need to help more people, just helping me is enough," Xie Cheng said, again acting on some perverse impulse. "There is a cure, but I'll need your cooperation."

"What do I need to do?"

Xie Cheng cleared his throat, his voice a little odd. "If you break up with Xie Yunfei and date me instead, if you stay by my side, then I think it would slowly get better."

Not waiting for Lan Xi's reply, he quickly added, "After all, I've never had this reaction before either, so I'm still figuring things out. But based on what others say, that should just about do it."

Xie Cheng looked very sincere. Lan Xi wanted to help him—he had selflessly aided her many times after all, and he even said he liked her!

But just as Lan Xi was considering agreeing, Xie Cheng spoke again:

"Liking someone can be one-sided, but a relationship needs mutual liking between both people. I like you and want to date you, but I have to make it clear: becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, falling in love, requires you to like me back."

"I know it might be a little difficult for you to sort out these emotions, that you might need more time and exploration. But I'm willing to wait."

"I also know that given your abnormality in handling interpersonal and emotional relationships, it would be very easy for me to trick you if I wanted. But I don't want that."

"I just feel Xie Yunfei is scum who doesn't deserve you."

Xie Cheng paused before reluctantly adding, "Although even if he was outstanding, I still wouldn't want him to be with you."

"Because you don't even like him." Xie Cheng glared at Lan Xi. "If you search your heart, you'll realize who's more suited to be your romantic partner."

Although Xie Cheng left things at that, even Lan Xi—usually oblivious to humans' unspoken subtext—sensed that the words "The one suited for you is me" were practically plastered across Xie Cheng's forehead.

Was that true?

"But the Guidebook..."

"Where did you get that rubbish Guidebook anyway? Wasn't it published ages ago, in 2003? The stuff recorded in there must be outdated by now, right? Is that why you can't conquer Earth and humans by relying on it?"

"Bring it out! Who published that kind of nonsense meant to torment people? I'll refute it point by point."

In this age of information overload, all kinds of tutorials were being published, not just cooking and baking guides but even those teaching people how to date and maintain marriages. Given how Lan Xi kept harping on her Guidebook, it was likely one of those scam guides targeted at swindling money from autistic people or those with social disabilities, claiming to teach social skills.

...Lan Xi had never considered this issue before. She was suddenly at a loss for words.

The Guidebook for Conquering Humans...it truly was the 2003 version, published 20 years ago...Could the information recorded in it really be outdated? Was that why she couldn't conquer Earth and humans by relying on it?

But...

"As for what you said about Cheng'an developing better than Chengxin and earning more money, that's not true at all. Cheng'an was originally founded by my parents too; it's currently controlled by Xie Jing, but he doesn't understand operations. Cheng'an looks huge in scale but is actually operating at a loss with no profitability if you look at the financial statements. On the other hand, our Chengxin is poised to benefit greatly from the new weather analytical software we just launched."

The corners of Xie Cheng's lips turned up wryly. "So I'll have more money than Xie Yunfei in the future."

"Now, who's better-looking between me and Xie Yunfei?"

The answer was obvious. Lan Xi swiftly pointed at Xie Cheng. "You!"

"Who has the better physique between me and Xie Yunfei?"

"You!"

"Who has more money between me and Xie Yunfei?"

"You!"

"Then between me and Xie Yunfei, who would you rather have as your boyfriend?"

Without thinking, Lan Xi gave the same knee-jerk response. "You!"

Lan Xi finished answering, realized she had fallen into a trap, and hurriedly closed her mouth, staring warily at Xie Cheng. Xie Cheng finally relaxed, almost wanting to laugh.

Perhaps the normal way of handling things is completely useless for socially awkward people like Lan Xi.

Xie Cheng seemed to regain his home turf, emerging from his previous anger and irritation, his tone becoming calmer and more composed, "Are you very nervous now? Is your heart beating fast?"

"You dislike me a little, but you also find me quite good."

"You often get angry at me, but you don't want to break off relations with me."

"Whenever you encounter difficulties, the first person you think of is me; whenever something good happens, I'm also the first person you want to share it with."

...

At first Lan Xi was somewhat stunned, then her slightly widened eyes revealed an unbelieving expression of being accurately guessed, making everything self-evident.

Xie Cheng did not expect that this reaction alone would make his previous anger, irritation, resentment and jealousy vanish without a trace.

He looked into Lan Xi's eyes: "Lan Xi, this is what liking someone means."

Xie Cheng enunciated word for word: "You also like me."

...

The "Guide to Conquering Earthlings" describes exhaustive methods of conquest in several chapters, but does not mention at all what the premise of conquest is.

Xie Cheng said two people being together must like each other.

Like?

Under Xie Cheng's gaze, Lan Xi felt utterly exposed. She subconsciously put her hand over her chest, as if to prevent her rapidly beating heart from escaping her chest.

Does being nervous, timid, afraid, irritable, resentful and jealous come from the side effects that liking someone brings?

Lan Xi was not certain. She understood everything about the Moying star, had learned all Moying's knowledge, and was confident that she had mastered the "Guide", yet in the face of the complexity of Earthlings' emotions, she was like a confused elementary school student.

Did she like Xie Cheng? Did Xie Cheng also like her?

"But I...I'm completely different from you." She looked up at Xie Cheng, genuinely confused and bothered inside, "Our interests and habits are different, our behavior is different, just my appetite alone is completely different from yours, and I'm also much stronger than you. Our identities differ even more extremely. You look completely at ease socially, but I haven't even received an entry-level invitation card. I also don't understand implied meanings, and I'm even literally an alien...like an alien..."

"Can two such completely different people develop feelings of liking each other?" Lan Xi coughed and added, "Don't you think we're like we're from two different planets?"

"Also, doesn't everyone on Earth prefer gentle, pretty, understanding, smart girls who know how to handle people, with hidden strengths and good at dancing? But I seem to...seem to sometimes become out of place with everyone..."

This sounded like a silly question. Lan Xi regretted it as soon as she asked. She didn't expect Xie Cheng to answer seriously either.

However, to her surprise, after brief contemplation, Xie Cheng spoke up, "You really are very special, and completely different from me, but the reason you are you is precisely because you are unique, so you are irreplaceable."

His voice was gentler than ever, yet his tone was decisive: "There are many people with qualities like being gentle, pretty, understanding, but what makes each person different from others isn't these beautiful traits; on the contrary, it is some flaws that you think you possess."

"You may not fit in with anything, but this shows that you are not easily changed by your environment. The materialistic life has not eroded your true nature either, you still persist in being yourself, and I feel this is a very valuable quality."

"I know your understanding of liking someone can be a bit slow, but please give me a chance to accompany you, wait for you, protect you, and explore and perceive liking together with you."

This time, Xie Cheng put down all pretense and excessive pride. He stood devoutly in front of Lan Xi, not as the founder of Chenxin Technology, but just himself—a man confessing his feelings to the girl he likes, an ordinary humble person.

"So don't use any guidebooks anymore. Guidebooks can't give you any guidance. Why don't you come directly experience it personally? Use your own experience to write a truly useful guidebook for others?"

Xie Cheng cradled Lan Xi's face in his hands, "Lan Xi, don't try to conquer Xie Yunfei anymore. Come try to conquer me instead."

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