English Novel
Intermission – Shiku – Heartbreaking Realization – Part One
Intermission – Shiku – Heartbreaking Realization – Part One
I ran through the halls of Lord Meruria’s new chapel in Aurathal, Uquenia’s capital city, and pushed open the door to Tokko’s office. “What the hell is your problem?!” I screamed, slamming my hands on his desk. Two ceramic cups of coffee fell to the ground, shattering like the trust I used to have in him. “You know Renata isn’t fit for combat! Why are you trying to force her to fight?!”
His eyes weren’t amused. “Lord Meruria requires all hands to be operational. Even Will has gotten back to work in serving our summoner. That girl isn’t anything special. She doesn’t deserve exclusive treatment.”
Approximately 10 days had passed since the Uquenia-Cridia War, and Lord Meruria had declared herself Uquenia’s new Holy Lord.
Renata had awoken a few days ago, but my ally was a shade of her former self. She couldn’t walk without help, but everything set her off. Water terrified her. Red made her vomit. Her meals had to be cold and colorless, or she’d be reminded of those horrors. But even then? She barely moved. Renata had given up.
“But she deserves a chance to heal! Stop forcing these missions upon her!”
“Why should I do that? Annexing Uquenia has doubled Cridia’s land. While we have assimilated Lord Geron’s Soul Warriors into our forces and dispatched them to fix the troubles that idiot had left before embodying the definition of cowardice, we need more. Need I remind you of our losses in the ambush? Our predecessors were wiped out. We are all that remains.”
“That’s not an excuse, and you know it!”
“Really?” Tokko seemed perplexed. He thumbed his earrings. “I didn’t think you’ve grown so weak to consider it one. This isn’t a fairy tale, Shiku.” He narrowed his eyes. “If our assets cannot return our investments, we must cut them off to prevent bleeding.”
“She’s not an asset! She’s a person! Like you or me! We can’t—”
“I agree. But she’s not valuable. She brings nothing. I assigned those monster exterminating quests upon her to ease her into fighting. If she cannot even do that…” Tokko didn’t have to say it. I knew the void was in Renata’s future. “I don’t wish to progress down that path.” Tokko stood, called for a maid, and looked out the window at the ongoing efforts to repair the city from the twin’s assault. “But I know you’ve been finishing those missions in her stead. I know you’ve forged her writing. I know all about it. And I’m severely disappointed. Deadweight must be recycled until it’s useful.”
That stung…more than I thought. I knew it was a possibility, but…
“What about Damon? What has he done other than visit the brothels?!”
“He’s unoriginal in his methods, but he’s been providing information about mounting resistances. Women speak when being loved. He’ll screw anything with a pulse.”
“Will?!”
“Lord Meruria has advised him on how to progress past his difficult, painful loss. He’s the first to find true love in a resident of this world, but he has what you lack. It is one thing to complete Renata’s mission, but it’s another to go against me. Traitors have no place.” A crystal greatsword materialized on his back. A tower shield formed of black, frozen lightning hovered in front of him. It split into ten pieces and surrounded me.
“After all we’ve been through… You’re going to kill me? You’re the one that’s changed.”
“No. I’ve been the same. I couldn’t fulfill my desires being stuck in our—my—world.” He turned my way, raised a hand, and canceled his Soul Weapons. “I’m giving you one last chance. There’s a village to the northeast dealing with famine. It harbors a dungeon nearby, and the monster spawner is acting out of its limit. We believe Lord Geron is responsible for it via [Conferment]."
“Our task?”
“Determine the root of the problems and fix them. Send word if you find traces of Lord Geron.”
“And that’s it?”
Tokko’s smile was disgusting. “Yes. That’s it. It’s a simple task. Failure will not be tolerated. You’re to leave tomorrow morning. Inform your team. Now leave. Begone from my sight.”
I left after Tokko ordered it and silently returned to my room. My mind was swirling. The passing priests gave me a wide berth and hushed the ones in training for trying to greet me.
I couldn’t handle it.
I was tired of everything and this world.
“Hey, I’m back…”
My room had nothing special. Just a bed and a bath, but it had a pair of Dogfolk maids—Laika and Leika Barkwood. The two hadn’t had it easy since the ambush. Their family was wiped out—their father had passed. An exploding meteorite created by that spell destroyed their mansion, leaving these two the last ones alive who bore their name.
They ran into my arms and hugged me tightly, crying into them.
“I told you I wasn’t abandoning you,” I whispered. “I won’t leave. I promise you that.”
Again. Silence and tears. My maids couldn’t perform their duties—not that I wanted maids in the first place—but Lord Meruria had tried to convince me to get rid of them. She said I could earn a few hundred gold. Virgins went for a lot. Being a noble doubled it. Their status as a Soul Warrior’s maid tripled it.m
But they weren’t virgins. And neither was I.
It happened after the war began. Laika and Leika probably thought I would leave them. Abandonment issues had most likely filled their minds, and I awoke naked. The two straddled my legs, but I couldn’t push them off. Their expressions begged me for this, and…
I made love to them throughout the night, promising that I wouldn’t leave them. I needed to protect them.
It was probably a mistake, but at that moment? It didn’t feel like one.
I should’ve protected Shuuta. I should’ve spoken. That was my biggest regret.
But I couldn’t…rectify that. Not anymore. So, I vowed to defend my team. No matter the cost, I wanted to protect the ones I loved until the end, even if it meant my life.
They brought me to bed, where I told them about the mission.
"Are you up for a trip? We're heading to Aronza Village," I said, holding their hands.
They nodded and began to pack my bags, but they cried and hooked their arms around my stomach when I said I had to tell Benedict.
They really, really didn't want to be apart from me... I was the last link to this world that they had.
"I swear I'm not leaving for good. Do you two want to follow me? We can pray along the way and hope Renata's feeling better."
Pray? There's nothing in this world worth praying to. Who can I put my faith in?
Laika and Leika practiced silence. The two followed me to Renata's room. She was still asleep-- lying still like a corpse.
"Shiku? Hey." Benedict sat beside her and barely looked my way. He rarely left her side and hadn't eaten or slept much. Those darkened eyes reminded me of a zombie. "Another mission?"
"Yeah. Tokko's caught on."
"What?!" Benedict raised his voice from a whisper to a slightly louder murmur and coughed. He spat bile across his arm when he covered his mouth.
"We get one more chance. It's a place called Aronza Village. The dungeon is out of control. It's spawning monsters more than usual. There's a famine issue, too."
"And we're ordered to solve that? How? With... Renata's in no shape to travel!"
"I know, but we can't go against his orders. But... What if this is what she needs?" Benedict didn't explode, but he was cautiously apprehensive.
"Renata relates with water and thrives in nature. Aronza Village, if the map I found is correct, has a river running through it. Since she's a spearfisher, being surrounded by what she loves could help more than being stuck inside a room."
"But she can't fight, Shiku. Hell, I can't fight. I... I know Soul Evolution exists, but it feels like I'm about to de-evolve. I just don't know what to think anymore, man. I just don't." Benedict's thick hands trembled. He was muscular, toned, and strong, but his mind was fragile. Anyone would be after...that.
And it wasn't fair.
This goddamn world was unfair and unnecessarily cruel.
Laika and Leika rested their heads on my shoulders and quietly whined. They probably sensed me getting restless and wanted to calm me.
"It's a job," I continued. "But it gets us away from everyone. We're not like Team Quella. We don't have Remy following our every move. We can solve the issue, regroup, and focus on healing. Doesn't that sound good?"
"It does. It really does, but..."
"You're hesitant?"
"Aren't you?" I nodded. "It's this damn world, Shiku. I can't even take a step without fearing another explosion. Or that... That dark magic... Or anything, really. So, forgive me if it feels like...this is all going to go into the shitter. What's the catch? What's going to bite us in the ass this time?"
Benedict wasn't wrong. And that was the issue. This...
It was probably some sort of...I didn't know, but I couldn't take the mission at face value.
“Look, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “It’s not your fault. I’m the one who asked you to help.” Benedict sighed and looked at Renata. “Is it wrong to cling to hope that isn’t there? You might be right. Maybe Renata needs to be surrounded by what she loves. Maybe Laika and Leika will benefit from it, too.”
“I thought the same.” The two maids squeezed my hands. “Maybe we’ll get lucky. Maybe it won’t be a shit show. And maybe… The mission might be a blessing in disguise.”
Or maybe I spoke too soon. Renata suddenly jerked. She sat up and scratched her arms. The poor girl screamed blood murder and violently thrashed around. Benedict held her down and comforted her, but she tried to beat him off. The outburst frightened Laika and Leika until Sir Salim entered. He waved his flower spear and lulled Renata to an uneasy slumber. I felt fatigued looking at those glimmering particles.
“Thank you,” said Benedict.
“You’re welcome,” replied Sir Salim. “Shiku, how fares the day?”
“Tokko’s caught on. We have a new mission,” I said, explaining our task in Aronza Village.
“I see. We’re to leave tomorrow?”
“Yes. As soon as possible. Benedict and I talked. It’s not a break or vacation, but we think it might help those three.” Laika and her sister… While they weren't as ’wounded’ as Renata… They were suffering from something. They couldn’t speak. They barely said or did anything without looking to me for approval.
“Perhaps you’re right. Return to your room and rest. Leave the preparation to me.”
“Okay. Thank you, Sir Salim.” He nodded, and I left with Laika and Leika by my side.
They quietly whimpered as our footsteps echoed down the corridor.
They say things get worse before getting better. But the opposite is true. It’s possible for things to never improve. I hope this isn’t one of them.
We met Sir Salim in front of the chapel before dawn. He stood near a caravan of a carriage and three supply wagons.
“Good morning,” he said, hitching them together. “The weather seems fair.”
“Good morning,” I replied, yawning. Laika and Leika’s tails twitched at the horses. They didn’t leave my side, but I approached them so they could pet them.
That’s something new.
“The weather fairly greets us, Shiku.” A gust of wind flew us by. “If nothing else, we shall be escorted by a guiding breeze.”
“And that’s good? I’ve never been in tune with the weather.”
“Indeed. Omens are found everywhere. They may be good or bad. However… No, I don’t think that kind of talk is appropriate. Forgive me. Say, are you two hungry?” He looked at my maids and spoke grandfatherly to them. “I woke early and prepared a dessert from my time.” He walked to the second wagon and retrieved a wrapped dish.
“Care to guess, Shiku?”
“It’s baklava, isn’t it?” answered Benedict, who emerged from the chapel. He effortlessly carried four large traveling bags. Renata…she was there, but only in the positional sense. She monopolized Benedict’s left hand and presumably hadn’t stopped shaking. Those timid eyes probably regarded everything as a threat, and I knew it wasn’t easy for her.
She can still talk. That’s a good thing.
“Indeed. My family never had much, but we always enjoyed cooking to unite us when uncertainty reared its unwelcoming visage. This recipe was given to me by my mother on my fourteenth birthday. Come. Let us depart. We can eat on the road.”
Benedict tossed his bags in the back, and we hopped in the carriage. A sharp whistle later, the horses moved, beginning our journey to Aronza Village.
The ride was comfortable. The carriage’s suspension wasn’t standard, and it handled the bumps and uneven road without issue. Once we had left the city and arrived at the unpaved paths, it continued to provide a smooth ride.
“And now it’s time to eat.” Sir Salim unwrapped the tray and retrieved serving plates from his personal bag.
“It smells delicious,” I said, accepting his gift. “Did you use pistachios?”
“I’m afraid not. They’re difficult to find, but I found a suitable substitute. This variant is best served cold.”
“But it can be eaten at room temperature?”
“Yes, Benedict. Perhaps I’ll make another batch after arriving.” Sir Salim said his prayers after passing out the food, and we dug in.
It’s so crispy and flakey.
“Mmm. That’s sweeter than I remembered.”
“Haha! You’re tasting my mother’s honey syrup. I’ve always had a tooth sweeter than others. How do you like it?”
Laika and her sister were silent, but they were eating. That was good. I hoped we’d regain our appetite on this trip. And it was faint, but their ears twitched. But only time could mend their sorrowful hearts. You couldn’t rush the recovery—you could only be there to offer support. And you couldn’t force someone to accept that support. I didn’t think it would come to that, though.
Honestly? I’ll take care of them for the rest of my life. And not just them, but Sir Salim, Renata, and Benedict. They’re my new constants in life.
It felt like my old world was slowly eroding from my memory. After a few years…
I probably wouldn’t think about it. That was for the best… It had to be. I wasn’t happy there. I couldn’t be true to myself. The same applies here, but I have more freedom. If I could just be sent on these missions… If my team could have that independence without being beholden to that cruel woman…
Yeah… That’ll be nice.
But for the first time in a while… I guess I felt a little confident about the future. And maybe Benedict felt the same about Renata. The girl was still frightened. She ate, but it was like a squirrel—little nibbles. Her plate was left unfinished, and her curly hair never left Benedict’s shoulders for a moment until we rode near a coursing river. She seemed curious, then looked at the salmon-like fish jumping upstream. That brought a little luster back into her eyes, and she smiled for the first time in weeks.
And then her stomach growled, and Renata finished her early morning delight after we stopped to let the horses rest. She sat on the riverbank and just…stared. I thought she’d have another episode when we returned to the carriage, but she didn’t fight.
It took four days to get there, but the ride was peaceful. The nights were more serene since we camped near the Aronza River. Renata often stayed up until morning, staring at the rushing water. It felt like parts of her were coming back. I wondered if Tokko knew this would happen, but it felt like that would have given him too much credit.
Sir Salim had mentioned something intriguing during our first night. “Food has the power to heal the soul,” he had said. “It nourishes not just the body but also the spirit with each comforting bite. Do not underestimate how much better you’ll feel with a full belly.” That began a discussion about culinary delights from our childhood, and since we had the supplies and equipment, we each prepared different meals that meant much to us.
Well, except for me. I didn’t have anything. My father never cared for flavor or deliciousness and favored nutrition above all else.
Benedict was all about barbeque and smoked meat, with his favorite being pulled pork. He wasn’t a good hunter, but Sir Salim handled that whenever we camped for the night. He’d set off and return an hour later with properly butchered meat, and Benedict would nurse the smoker throughout the night. That meant a delicious breakfast was awaiting us when morning arrived. That also had another benefit. Benedict would tire himself at night and sleep during the travel, but Renata found comfort in that. She always had her head on his shoulder if she could help it. And... I guess Benedict being ‘vulnerable’ and relying on her support or showing ‘weakness,’ if you’d call it that, and I wouldn’t, somehow turned the gears in her heart?
Maybe it didn’t make the most sense, but this world was chaotic. It was a mess.
Sir Salim didn’t mind cooking in my place. After learning we were traveling, he spent that day acquiring supplies to make all his favorite dishes that would, hopefully, become a favorite of others. He made hummus as a mid-afternoon snack and baked his own bread. Laika’s tail swooshed as she watched the preparation. She and her sister didn’t react much, but I knew they enjoyed it.
On our third night of traveling, Sir Salim readied a dish called mansaf.
“Do you know much about it?” he asked. We crowded around the campfire and watched the cooking process.
“I know it’s made with fermented and dried yogurt. Greggie would know, though. He practically lives in the kitchen,” I replied.
“That’s a recent addition. Apparently, the dish evolved greatly centuries after my time. The mansaf I know has three components. The bread, the meat, and the clarified butter. We used to use khobz al-shrak. I believe Greggie said the name has changed to markouk bread. But he told me about adding rice and yogurt, which is called jameed. Instead of boiling the meat, we’re to cook it in it to give it a more ‘robust’ flavor. He’s a good man, Greggie is. His culinary knowledge is unnatural.”
“I wouldn’t call it unnatural, but he’s an amazing chef. He’s cooked for a lot of famous and powerful people.”
“Unnatural is not always a bad thing, Shiku,” said Sir Salim as he topped a layer of flatbread with rice. Nearby, the jameed—the yogurt part of the dish—was being turned into a creamy sauce. Benedict was sorting the nuts that would garnish it—another new addition in the 1960s. “Food, for example. Our world has many different cultures. For someone like me? The food you eat is unnatural, but it is delicious all the same.”
“Should I embrace the unnatural?”
“I believe there is a balance. Leaning too far in either direction could lead you down the road less traveled-- a path that has seen few footprints for a reason. But that reason? It remains to be seen if it’s good or bad. Only you can decide that.”
“...” Sir Salim had wisdom in spades. He always had something to say, even if it was cryptic.
The food was ready a little later. “Mansaf is often eaten with your hand. The left should be behind your back while the right does all the work. But we can disregard that little tradition for comfort,” he said, serving our meal.
It smelled heavenly. And there was a lot—my entire plate was filled. And the taste...
Why... Why couldn’t I have any memories like this? That’s another thing...that man...
I didn’t want to think about my father. I shook my head to rid the thoughts and focused on what mattered.
Benedict ensured Renata was eating before taking his bite. I did the same for my maids. Their ears perked up, and their tails slowly wagged. It was a hit with them. After eating, Renata stood and walked to the riverbank with Benedict. We couldn’t see our destination from here, but Sir Salim said it was over that ridge.
“We should rest early and wake up with energy,” he said, pointing at our tents. “Do not worry about cleaning. I shall handle it.”
“Okay. Thank you. Are you two sleepy? Ready for bed?” Laika and Leika followed me to my sleeping bag. They immediately laid down beside me and took an arm. The two looked at me and just stared—blinking every few seconds, but it had been long since I heard them speak more than two or three words. And I missed their voices.
“We’ll get through this,” I whispered. “It’ll be okay. I’ll protect you. So... Please...” I couldn’t finish that sentence because I didn’t know how to. Laika yawned and rested her head against my shoulder. Her sister did the same. Their soft breathing soon reached my ears. They felt so comfortable near me. To them? I was one of the only people they could trust.
The feeling was mutual. I couldn’t depend on Tokko or Mia. Or Meruria. Or anyone else. Lori and Ann, along with Quella’s team, were an exception. And maybe one or two others. Everyone else?
They could die. I didn’t care about them. They didn’t give two shits about us, so why would I waste time worrying about them?
That was something I didn’t understand. Meruria fostered an unhealthy relationship with most of us, but why?
I kept thinking about Shuuta and wondered how things would’ve changed had Meruria been someone with gold in her heart. Why not show care? Why promise him a chance to reach Soul Evolution if you would take it back the next day? Why send Remy to do...that?
Why take the road of darkness and choose hate when a little compassion would’ve gone a long way?
Our world was devoid of that, but why did that extend to this one? Meruria didn’t strike me as someone who would make careless mistakes. Everything she did had a purpose or reason. So, her ugly nature and disgusting personality benefited her. But how? And why?
I wish I knew. I wish I understood more.
My thoughts were aimless as I drifted off to sleep. The quiet cackling campfire provided a relaxing ambiance to lull me away to a place where...I didn’t have to worry about my concerns. My dreams were where I was the happiest. But I couldn’t always return there. That would mean refusing to accept my reality. And... And I wasn’t at that point.
Not yet, but I never wanted to be that far gone where I chose to look at a fake reality rather than face what was real.
But...
Maybe this world had plans to batter me like a tornado ravaging a town. It was eroding me... Was it a test?
If it is a test... What are the limits to its cruelty?
We eventually arrived in the early morning. The fields surrounding the town were dull and sad. We were summoned in early spring, and it was now late autumn. Cridia was more tropical, but Northern Uquenia seemed to be experiencing a rainy season. Water wasn’t an issue. There was enough sunlight.
Perhaps the ground was oversaturated? Too much water was detrimental. I didn’t see an irrigation system. Cridia had implemented one and almost tripled its grain production. They had one before, but the improvements couldn’t be denied.
“Where do we begin?” Benedict asked. He stretched his thick arms and scratched his bald head.
“The village elder,” replied Sir Salim. “Let us make proper introductions.” He looked at the onlookers. Most were famished. A few were deathly skinny. “I doubt they were aware of our coming.”
Aronza Village seemed big enough. I saw a dozen houses near the field and another 30 or 40 inside the village. It didn’t have walls, but the Aronza River curved around the north and headed west, giving some natural defenses against bandits. The only way to cross was to wade through the river. Unless you wanted to travel out of the way to a land bridge.
Sir Salim stopped the wagon and asked for directions. People seemed hesitant until we told them we came on Lord Meruria’s orders. It didn’t change their perception, but people talked. Rumors spread as hushed murmurs as we got the directions we needed.
The elder’s house was little more than a shack. The overall buildings were made from hardened clay and straw.
The elder was outside to greet us. He was hunched over and used a cane for support.
“Greetings, sir,” Sir Salim said. He explained why we were here.
“Is that so, eh? Yes, monsters have been an issue around this time. But they don’t cross over the river. They fight amongst themselves, and we send foragers to carve their meat after they had their pickings.”
“They’re not responsible for the farming fields? We saw their state during our travels,” I replied.
“The rainy season is a curse. It’s always been one. Things usually return to normal after winter. Lord Geron doesn’t bother us out here, but we don’t get no help. But we make it through.” He raised his cane and waved at the houses. “We survive. We unite and endure it. The monster meat sustains us if we ration it.”
“I see. And what about the dungeon?”
“We ain’t got no use for it. The river’s too dangerous to cross at this time of year. The land bridge isn't worth the detour. We bunker down and hold out for the calmer season.”
“Forgive me for stating the obvious, but have you tried building one closer?”
“Aye, that we did. Happened about… Six years ago? Maybe seven or eight? A rampaging horn croc crossed and killed ten of our kinfolk. It’s mighty hard to level up around these parts when surrounded by powerful monsters. It left us after getting a full belly, and we destroyed the bridge. We ain’t taking that risk again.”
“I see…” I wondered if there was a connection between the rain and rampaging monsters. There had to be. It was a logical deduction.
“Well, if you’re staying here, I’d best show you to an inn. Don’t let anyone say Aronza Village ain’t hospitable.” The elder turned around and walked, leading us on a tour. "We ain't got much, but we ain't rude, either." People were poor, but they seemed content. More food wouldn’t hurt, but it seemed like a relaxing place to live. I sensed a quaint feeling of camaraderie. The inhabitants—human and beastfolk—worked together to survive.
I was envious of this simplicity...so did that make me awful?
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