The Best Director

Chapter 205: Corny Jokes

Las Vegas, Caesars Palace Casino. The “MIT-21-TEAM” crew was shooting the final scene amidst two rows of slot machines, a group of casino security guards in suits stood stern-faced, while the members of the MIT team, dressed like average young people, were all smiling around a slot machine. Natalie’s mouth quirked slightly as she said, “Let’s give gambling a go!”

She pulled down the lever of the slot machine, and instantly “ding ding ding” rolling sounds filled the air. The expressions on the faces of Alexis, Jay Baruchel, Daniel Wu, and others slowly shifted to surprise, as if they had witnessed something incredible.

“CUT—!” Wang Yang, standing beside the camera, shouted out, and, thumbs up, he looked around and nodded, laughing to everyone, “Of course, that’s a wrap, we are done!” The crew immediately erupted into cheers and applause, and Vale Fest turned off the camera, joining in the clapping with a smile. With this gambling movie, he had now framed shots for five different films for the talented Yang. Each with its own style, truly insane!

“Beginnings and endings are always a long string of lines, quite unforgettable!” Natalie walked up to Wang Yang, punched him lightly in the chest with a laugh, and said, “Remember my headache!” Wang Yang, having just hugged Vale, casually embraced her as well before moving on to the next person, thanking the leading actors and the heads of the crew, and said with a laugh, “Folks, thank you very much for your hard work this past month!”

He looked at the employees packing up the equipment, the smiling Natalie, Leah, Daniel Wu, Joshua… and Rachel, who had finished her scenes days ago but came to visit the set that day. She showed her dimples as she gave a thumbs up, smile after smile, the somber atmosphere of war expectations hadn’t infiltrated the set.

“We’ve been shooting fast, ‘Action’ during the day, ‘Action’ at night, even ‘Action’ during weekends. You could totally sue me for abusing workers!” Listening to his self-deprecating tone, everyone let out a light laugh. Wang Yang spread his hands and looked around them, saying with a smile, “But really, it’s not my fault, because someone needs to rush back to Boston to graduate in June. She said, ‘Don’t worry, no problem.’ But I wouldn’t want to see her retake the year.”

Under everyone’s gaze, Natalie smiled faintly, looking like a traditional, good girl. Watching her, Wang Yang laughed, “I can’t graduate myself, so I can’t hold others back, especially not a Harvard student.” Natalie replied with a smile, “Don’t worry! I won’t fail to graduate because of gambling, it’s just that you’ve already made me get called a Harvard traitor.”

Like USC & UCLA, Harvard and MIT also have a long-standing rivalry and grudge. MIT students, like Jeff Ma, have quick minds and dare to try anything; student pranks are one of their trademarks, with even the president not being spared, let alone Harvard University being teased daily. The most talked-about event was the 1982 football game between Harvard and Yale.

In the second half of the first period, the Harvard team scored from the goal-line. But at that moment, near the 46-yard line of the field, a small black ball suddenly appeared out of nowhere, growing bigger and bigger, with the eye-catching “MIT” emblazoned on it. When the ball expanded to nearly 2 meters in diameter, it exploded with a bang. The result was the entire field filling with smoke, causing great embarrassment for the home team, Harvard University.

“Nat, if someone calls you a Harvard traitor, just say I’m actually an undercover agent. The movie will make everyone think MIT students are just a bunch of gambling addicts.” Wang Yang was very serious, and everyone laughed again. Kevin Spacey also laughed heartily without any cool demeanor; Natalie nodded, “Good idea.” Wang Yang clapped his hands and said cheerfully, “So that’s it, thank you everyone!”

After another round of applause, the assistant directors and stage crew began to pack up the equipment and carry it away, while Wang Yang and others were chatting and laughing as they walked towards the exit of the casino.

Looking at Daniel Wu beside him, Wang Yang asked with a smile while walking, “How about it, Daniel? Is it different from filming in Hong Kong?” Daniel Wu thought for a moment and frowned with a smile, “It’s quite slow here; it’s very fast in Hong Kong.” Hearing this, Wang Yang chuckled—he knew that Hong Kong movies were shot quickly, allegedly the craziest being completing a film in just one week, and not on DV. He said with a smile, “Not slow at all, my set is famously fast-paced.”

Of course, this also required that the salary he offered was sufficient, the crew had a great deal of tacit understanding through their collaboration, and sufficient preparation had been done beforehand.

“Over in Hong Kong, a standard day is 9 hours; here we have overtime,” Daniel Wu revealed an exact figure. The division of labor here is very clear and detailed, with many departments, the workload is light, the shooting speed is slow, and everything is rigorous and meticulous. This might have to do with the level of investment as well; Wang Yang’s directorial prowess had also impressed him, indeed making people feel rejuvenated, as if bursting with creativity.

“Daniel, if there’s a chance to collaborate in the future, I’m sure there will be,” Wang Yang said as he waved his fists a few times, laughing, “Don’t neglect your kung fu; next time we’ll have another fight!” Daniel Wu immediately covered his face, exhausted, and said, “Just kill me now.”

Outside the Caesar’s Hotel, aside from the staff who needed to handle drama affairs, the lead actors all bid each other farewell, preparing to leave Las Vegas with their personal assistants and return to Boston, Los Angeles, San Francisco… Because of anticipated war-related concerns, the crew did not hold a press conference or a celebration banquet after completing the filming, to avoid unnecessary trouble and controversy.

“Buddy, how’s it going?” Wang Yang saw Joshua staring intently at the white statue not far away, where Alexis was laughing and talking with Rachel. Wang Yang nudged him and said, “Hey,” and Joshua hurriedly asked, “What? What?” Wang Yang shrugged and said, “I’m asking how you are doing? With Leah. It’s been a month, haven’t you asked her out yet? You know this would’ve taken you just a week in the past.”

“No! I told you, this time it’s different!” Joshua took several deep breaths, still unable to contain his anxious expression, “I can’t be so reckless! I know she doesn’t have a boyfriend, but I’ve also heard that Milo Ventimiglia, the male lead from ‘Gilmore Girls’, has rumors with her.” Watching his embarrassed manner, Wang Yang laughed heartily, “You look just like someone in first love, come on! Just ask her out to dinner.”

Joshua, still agonizing and running his hands through his hair, dared not muster the courage; he was starting to understand what it felt like to fear rejection.

Looking over at the serene smiling Alexis, Wang Yang pondered and said with a smile, “From what I’ve observed this month, Leah is the quiet type, even more domestic than your sister. Normally, to chase a girl like this, either she is easy to deceive with sweet talk and cool acts, but I think Leah is not; she’s worldly. Or else, stop playing games, she can see through them, if she feels something for you, she does, if not, then she doesn’t. I can’t say for sure; you’re younger than her, I wonder if a Catholic girl would accept that?”

“It’s just less than a year!” Joshua bit his teeth and urgently said, “What year is this? It’s trendy now!” Wang Yang shook his head and sighed, “It seems your sister had a huge impact on your childhood!” Joshua frowned in disgust and said, “Get her out of here, is she as cute as Leah?”

Wang Yang glowered at him fiercely and said, “She is the best!” Joshua, looking at Alexis hugging Rachel goodbye, nodded and said, “Yes.” Wang Yang laughed, patted him on the shoulder, and said, “You decide! But here’s a piece of advice for you: you can tell her a corny joke; if she laughs, she probably likes you, the happier she laughs, the better the chances; if she doesn’t laugh or just smiles politely or uninterestedly, then stop there for now!”

“Seems so!” Joshua’s eyes lit up and he quickly asked, “I knew you were an expert at chasing girls! Got any corny jokes?”

“Let me think…” Wang Yang concentrated on thinking for a moment, the joke needed to be really corny but also have a certain level of humor, otherwise even if there was a spark it would feel odd. After thinking for a while, he said, “Here’s one, there was a piece of sugar (sugar) walking in the Arctic, feeling very cold, and then it turned into rock candy (crystal-sugar).” Joshua nodded, murmuring, “crystal-sugar.”

“If she laughs, remember to be confident! No hesitation,” Wang Yang, feigning depth of feeling in his gaze, full of persuasive power, smilingly said, “Like this, Leah, how about we go out for dinner? I know a great restaurant you’d definitely love.” He pushed Joshua hard, laughing, “Go on, drop that first love look, give her more a sense of security!”

Joshua took a deep breath and then trudged towards Leah. Leah, who had just said goodbye to Rachel, greeted him with a smile, saying “HEY.” Joshua, suppressing his elated feelings, smiled and said, “Leah, I’ve got a joke for you that I just heard.” Leah Alexis nodded and replied, “OK.” Joshua’s heart suddenly skipped a beat, as he said, “There was a piece of candy… and then it turned into rock candy.”

“What, that’s it?” Leah Alexis widened her eyes slightly, then chuckled softly and said, “That’s funny.”

She laughed! Joshua was overjoyed, his heart racing. He tried to appear confident and mature, a bit out of breath, and said with a smile, “By the way, Leah, how about we go out for dinner? I know a great restaurant that you’ll definitely like!” Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes… His heart ached with nervousness.

Leah Alexis made a sound of agreement, looked at his face, then suddenly nodded and said with a smile, “Sure, when?”

Oh, Jesus! Hearing her agreement, Joshua felt an overwhelming urge to cry with joy. He quickly said, “That’s settled then! How about tomorrow? When are you free?” Leah replied, “Tomorrow’s fine.” Unable to restrain his grin, Joshua looked at her smiling face and said, “Then I’ll call you tomorrow, tonight! Tonight I’ll call you… or should I wait until tomorrow?” Leah shook her head, laughing, “I don’t know, my phone isn’t that busy.”

“Well, we’ll talk tonight then.” With that, Joshua hurried away, puffing his cheeks and letting out a long sigh of relief, wow—! He clenched his fists, wanting to jump up and wave them around in excitement. A date is the start of romance! Just as Joshua was about to rush over to Wang Yang with excitement, he saw him chatting and laughing with Natalie.

“I want to hear a joke, the kind from when ‘Juno’ wrapped up!” Natalie, remembering the joke, covered her mouth and pretended to gag, but internally she laughed to herself. To her, that sick joke was like a marker, marking their second movie together. Would there be a third one? When? Looking up at his smiling face with great interest, she exclaimed, “I don’t want it if it’s not sick or twisted!”

Another joke? Wang Yang pondered and frowned slightly, they were a nearly daily affair on set, although not the sick and demented kind, but his stock was running low… He smiled and said, “Let me think, a sick one, got it! There was a piece of candy, it went streaking in the Arctic, found it quite cold, and then it turned into rock candy.”

“Rock candy, pfft!” Natalie burst into raucous laughter, followed by he-he-he’s. Trying to hold back her giggles, she said, “Not enough! Streaking isn’t sick enough! It’s definitely not that one, right?”

Seeing her in stitches, Wang Yang scratched his forehead, thinking it was nothing serious—the fondness had always been there. He nodded with a smile and said, “Yes, the real one is this, listen, there’s this guy stranded on a desert island.” Natalie interjected with a laugh, “Ha-ha, another desert island, I love it!”

“It’s not quite a desert island, there’s ample food and water, and the weather and surroundings are quite pleasant. His companions are a Doberman and a pig.” Wang Yang continued. Hearing this, Natalie pointed at him with wide eyes, laughing in surprise, “You can’t be serious?” Ignoring her, Wang Yang continued with a chuckle, “So he’s pretty comfortable, but after a few months, loneliness sets in, and the chubby pig starts looking more and more attractive, you know, that flesh-pink, soft, and round backside.”

With an expression of disgust, Natalie grimaced. Wang Yang also bared his teeth, narrating with passion, “But whenever the guy has thoughts about doing something to the pig, his Doberman gets in heat and clings to his legs, then you know, starts humping relentlessly, which is incredibly frustrating.” Natalie shrugged, “My Charlie never does that.”

“One day, a rubber dinghy happens to drift to the shore. Yes, he rescues an unconscious, beautiful woman, very, very gorgeous and sexy.” Wang Yang said, closing his eyes as if savoring the memory, “Like Natalie Portman, like Audrey Hepburn, Elizabeth Taylor… in their younger days.” Natalie let out an amused chuckle, and Wang Yang continued with a smile, “He saves her, patiently cares for her until she recovers. The woman is very grateful, and says to him, ‘Thank you! I really don’t know how to repay you, I’ll do anything for you, absolutely anything, just say it!'”

He squeaked out his words, then cupped his chin in thought and said, “That guy thought for a minute and then asked Audrey Hepburn-Taylor, ‘Could you take my dog out for a walk?'”

Natalie was stunned for a second, then her shoulders began to shake uncontrollably, and she laughed without making a sound, her mouth twitching with the effort, it took her a while to catch her breath and laugh out loud, “Are you trying to kill me with laughter? But that’s good, really good! I’ll remember that.”

“Hmm!” Wang Yang patted her shoulder and laughed, “I wish you a smooth graduation.” Natalie spread her hands and laughed, “I’ve already told you not to worry, the only way I wouldn’t graduate is if I included that joke in my thesis.” Wang Yang laughed, “Better not to.”

As “MIT-21-TEAM” officially wrapped up filming, even though there was no press conference for the news reporters, the word naturally got out. Even with the impending war, the entertainment industry wouldn’t stop moving, especially with overseas American fans and particularly those in the Greater China region who had been following the latest developments since it began filming. What kind of film is this exactly? Both the magical Wang Yang and the lead actors had promoted it as being very cool, but how cool?

Now, the eager fans were anticipating its first teaser trailer, which would unveil the first layer of its mystery.

The post-production work for the film also started. Apart from needing to add special effects to some scenes, the editing process also began concurrently. For the film editor, Wang Yang had brought in Margaret Goodspeed, this marking the fourth collaboration between them following “High School Musical,” “The Pursuit of Happyness,” and “Juno.”

Wang Yang didn’t pay immediate attention to the rough cut of the film, where the scenes were strung together according to the script’s order. He was very confident in leaving the editing to Margaret, as their understanding and experience meant she knew exactly what he wanted, and his storyboard had already provided a rough direction. He didn’t stop to rest, as he had to run to the editing room for “Prison Break” for some supervising work, and he was also investing in the preparations for “The Devil Wears Prada,” trying to start filming as early as possible.

A few days after the film wrapped up, as George Bush’s 48-hour ultimatum to Saddam Hussein expired, on March 20, 2003, Iraq time, the Allied Forces officially declared war and began air strikes on strategic cities and ports such as Baghdad and Basra. After the war launched, George Bush immediately delivered a nationwide television speech declaring the start of the war and reaffirmed that it would be over quickly, within hours.

Then, casualties occurred—Iraqi soldiers and civilians. On the 21st, a U.S. Marine was killed, becoming the first American soldier to die in the war. The news reached America, and naturally, there was an outpouring of grief. The anti-war faction protested even more vehemently, while the pro-war faction also chanted, “This is the time to unite!”

The outbreak of war affected all aspects of the world, and Flame Pictures was not in a vacuum. The originally scheduled early April release of “Saw” suddenly became inappropriate. Even though it propagated the preciousness of life, blood and horror weren’t what the market demanded at the moment, so its release was postponed to November, and whether it would be delayed again would depend on the situation at that time.

Global anti-war demonstrations continued to spread. Current television channels were broadcasting war imagery all day long, with various retired and active-duty generals coming out to discuss and analyze, White House officials giving speeches; newspapers were filled with war, war, war, war… and the Oscars.

The war had been raging for three days, with the bombing hardly ever ceasing, and now it was March 23rd, the day of the 75th Academy Awards Ceremony.

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