Chapter 12 - 12 The Moth to the Flame
Chapter 12 The Moth to the Flame
Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio
Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
“Does that guy count as being tall and friendly-looking?”
Following Rachel’s comment, Wang Yang glanced toward the entrance of the coffee shop and indeed saw a tall man come in. He was wearing a light grey suit and a black tie. Although he was tall, he was not the muscular type. He had a young face that looked like he was just in his early twenties, handsome, and extremely friendly-looking, fitting the profile perfectly.
“Good appearance,” Wang Yang nodded approvingly, then added, “But I don’t know if he’s here for the audition; he is dressed in formal attire.” They had interviewed over four hundred people that day, and not a single candidate had worn formal clothes. Rachel chuckled beside him, “We’ll know soon enough.”
“Let’s see.” Mark Strong turned his head to glance at the man and then shook his head disdainfully, “No, not good. I tell you he definitely won’t do. Unless Tom Hanks shows up, nobody will do.”
Wang Yang rolled his eyes and couldn’t be bothered with him. He picked up his coffee, took a sip, and watched the man approach them.
“Oh, excuse me, are you the casting directors for ‘Paranormal Activity’?” the tall man asked awkwardly. Wang Yang didn’t know what he was feeling awkward about and nodded, “Yes.” The tall man immediately burst into a warm smile, “Hehe, hello there, I’m Zachary Levi, and I’m here for the audition.” He looked at Mark Strong, foolishly excited, “Hello, director.”
Mark Strong was momentarily surprised, then dismissively spread his hands, “Do I look like the director to you? I am not the director; that’s him.” He pointed to Wang Yang across from him.
“What?!” Zachary Levi was taken aback, his face full of shock as he stared at Wang Yang as if he had seen something terrifying, and said dumbly, “You’re the director!? My goodness, you’re so young!” Mark Strong shrugged, “Of course, that’s him (young).”
That shocked expression was pretty good! Wang Yang couldn’t help but praise inwardly. This guy had a friendly face which was nice and comfortable to look upon, but if his facial expression was one of utter horror, for a comedy, it would be hilarious, and in a psychological horror film, such a contrast would make the audience even more anxious and scared. That was why he insisted on choosing someone with a friendly appearance.
Zachary Levi said blankly, “Unbelievable, I was born in September 1980, are you older or am I?”
Wang Yang smiled, “I was born in February, so a few months older than you, I guess. Actually, I also find it hard to believe that you are the first person today to come for an audition in formal attire.” Zachary Levi scratched the back of his head awkwardly, “Actually, I just got off work; I have a part-time job at a supermarket. I came straight here, so I didn’t change clothes.” Wang Yang nodded as if to say “I see,” then clapped his hands, “Okay, back to business, let’s start the audition, shall we? Did you bring your resume?”
“Oh, right, right.” Zachary Levi quickly took out a resume from his briefcase. The resume paper was very old, showing that he had been attending auditions like this for some time. He handed the resume to Wang Yang, “Here you go.”
Wang Yang took the resume and started reading. Zachary Levi, born September 29, 1980, in Lake Charles, Louisiana State. He then moved around with his family until settling in Ventura County, California. He had been acting in school plays and local theater since he was young and was also good at singing and dancing. After graduating from Buena High School, he made his way to Los Angeles, Hollywood, but in nearly a year, his only acting experience was as an extra.
Opportunities as an extra, however, were not daily occurrences. Although Hollywood produces hundreds of movies each year, there are more than 200,000 union actors alone. If you add in those not in the union, on average, one gets a chance to work only once or twice a month.
In order to survive and stay in Los Angeles, unknown actors like Zachary Levi not only have to live frugally but also take on multiple jobs to earn money.
As it happened, Wang Yang and Zachary Levi were from the same cohort, having arrived in Los Angeles at around the same time. The difference was that Wang Yang was studying at the University of Southern California, while Levi was trying to make it in Hollywood. Of course, each year, many people flood into Hollywood, having loved performing since childhood and acted in school, but were not accepted into any university after high school and were unwilling to give up their dreams, so they came to Hollywood with high hopes.
“Zachary, imagine you and your girlfriend are sitting on the couch watching TV, and suddenly, your girlfriend starts convulsing but doesn’t realize it herself. She’s still engrossed in the TV and laughing.” Wang Yang finished describing the scene and then said, “You see this and are very surprised and scared, so you call out to your girlfriend and shake her body, but she completely ignores you and keeps on laughing. Please perform this for us.”
“Oh, damn it, I don’t have a girlfriend!” Zachary smacked his forehead in annoyance. Wang Yang nudged his mouth towards Mark Strong and said, “Just pretend that Mr. Strong here is your girlfriend then.” Mark Strong rolled his eyes and said, “Fine, but I won’t convulse or laugh.”
Rachel smiled, revealing two dimples. “Or, let me do it?” VịSit no(v)3lb/!n(.)c𝒐m for new 𝒏ov𝒆l𝒔
“No, no, no!” Zachary waved his hands frantically, his heart melted by Rachel’s dimples. If she played the role of the girlfriend, he reckoned he wouldn’t even be able to speak properly! Zachary sat down next to Mark Strong, chuckled, and said, “Heh heh, Mr. Strong is enough. Okay, I’m going to start performing.”
Zachary suddenly changed his expression to one of complete shock as he looked at Mark Strong and said, “Oh, baby, what’s wrong with you?” He shook Mark Strong, his complexion growing more and more panic-stricken, his voice trembling, “Oh, Jesus! My God! Julia, don’t scare me! Julia, wake up…” and he moved to embrace Mark Strong.
“Wait, wait!” Mark Strong quickly pushed him away, guarding his chest with his hands and said, “Dude, I’m not gay!” He frowned and asked, “And by the way, who is Julia?”
“Uh, Julia is Julia Roberts. I like her,” Zachary Levi confessed with an embarrassed smile.
Rachel couldn’t help but laugh and said, “Wow, Julia is pretty great!” She winked at Zachary and added with a smile, “Good taste!” Zachary scratched his head awkwardly.
He was somewhat green, but you could tell he was able to immerse himself in the emotions; not bad… Wang Yang mentally checked him off and then said, “Perform another scene. Late at night, you’re asleep in bed, but then you’re woken up by your girlfriend, and then you hear footsteps outside your bedroom. It startles you awake.”
“Okay, I’m starting now.” Zachary closed his eyes, then slowly opened them with a “hmm-hmm,” groggily saying, “Oh, baby, what’s wrong…What?” He blinked hard, furrowed his brows deeply, and made the gesture of listening closely by turning his head to the side.
“Hmm, not bad,” Wang Yang nodded, although he couldn’t say the performance was outstanding, and it still lacked depth. But he had been the best of the afternoon, so he should be sufficient… He looked at Zachary, took a deep breath, and slapped the table, “Alright, it’s you!”
Zachary froze, his breathing visibly quickened, and suddenly with a “Wow,” he asked in disbelief and excitement, “I’ve been selected? I’ve been selected?” Wang Yang nodded, and Zachary burst into a euphoric laughter, “Alright! Alright! Oh, thank God! Thanks, thanks…” he babbled incoherently, repeatedly offering handshakes, and finally threw a punch in the air, shouting, “Oh yeah, I’m the lead man now!”
This shout naturally disturbed the other customers in the coffee shop, and as everyone looked on, Zachary smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, but I’m just so excited!”
Zachary, still excited, looked at Wang Yang and asked, “Director, when do we sign the contract?”
Before Wang Yang could respond, Mark Strong laughed and said, “Actually, we can sign now.” He took two contracts from his briefcase, one for Zachary and one for Rachel, showing Zachary his Screen Actors Guild credentials, he said, “Even though I don’t think much of this movie, four thousand dollars a week is quite tempting, isn’t it?”
“Yes, and I love acting!” Zachary said with a smile on his face as he took the credentials and contract to read. The contract clearly stated that he was employed as the male lead for a movie titled ‘Paranormal Activity,’ with a work week of one to two weeks and a pay of four thousand dollars. He would receive half of the payment before shooting begins, and the other half would be paid at the end of the shooting.
This movie comes with rights for theatrical release, DVD distribution, and so on. The actors agree to all forms of distribution, which will not infringe upon their rights, and of course, the copyright holder is none other than Wang Yang, who owns all rights to this movie.
“OK, no problem!” After reading through the contract, Zachary eagerly signed his name without hesitation.
With his signature, Mark Strong and the actors’ union were entitled to a 10% commission, but they would also “cover” him. If Wang Yang signed the contract too, made the movie, but Zachary didn’t receive his salary, the actors’ union would take Wang Yang to court to defend Zachary’s rights.
Mark Strong smiled contentedly, then turned to Rachel and tapped another contract on the table, saying, “Rachel, I think you still need a short-term agent. Take a look at this contract.” He mysteriously pulled out another set of credentials from his briefcase and handed them to Rachel, chuckling, “Actually, I have another identity, oh, not CIA, just a licensed agent of CAA. With me, and CAA watching over you, young directors won’t be able to play any tricks.”
Wang Yang rolled his eyes and said, “Please, when have I ever wanted to play tricks?”
“CAA? Wow.” Rachel took the contract and credentials and looked over them carefully. CAA is Creative Artists Agency, the largest talent agency in America. This contract was not to sign her as an artist but more of a witness nature, she would pay 15% of her salary as a commission, and Mark Strong, as a licensed CAA agent, would guarantee her rights.
After reading the contract with care and pondering for a moment, Rachel nodded and smiled, “OK, it looks good to me, I’ll sign.”
“Haha, my commission is in the bag!” Mark Strong laughed heartily, delighted that his 15% commission was even more than the actors’ union’s 10%. He glanced at Wang Yang with a smirk that begged for a punch.
Wang Yang was truly a bit frustrated, after all, that commission money was coming out of his pocket! However, securing the right male and female leads was a cause for celebration. So, after going over both contracts, Wang Yang also added his signature. Finally, Mark Strong signed his name as well, stamped the seal, officially marking the initiation of “Paranormal Activity.” There was no turning back for Wang Yang now!
The actors’ combined salaries totaled eight thousand US dollars, while Wang Yang was left with just over four thousand in liquid funds, enough to cover the first half of the fees. Once the film was completed, he planned to return the rented furniture, appliances, and the DV camera to get his four thousand deposit back, which would just cover the remaining half of the salaries.
Thus, after setting aside the ten thousand dollars for the movie, Wang Yang was left with less than five hundred dollars for living expenses. The road behind him was blocked off; he had only one choice left, to make the movie well and keep moving forward, always forward!
“Oh, my God! Such an insane treasure! MUMO….” Zachary kissed his contract wildly, dampening the paper before he could bring himself to let it go. He carefully placed the contract back into his briefcase and exclaimed with joy, “I can’t wait to share this great news with my family! Director, can I go now?”
“You’re free to go, but first, let’s exchange contact numbers.” Wang Yang took out his phone, exchanged numbers with Zachary, and then gave him his home address, instructing, “Filming starts tomorrow at my place, so you should get up early. There’s no dress code, just look like a normal person, that’s all.”
“I understand, I’ll be there,” Zachary ensured as he pocketed the paper with the address, shook hands again with everyone, and laughed as he said, “Thank you, thank you! I’m off now… thanks…” He walked out laughing, and through the glass window, as soon as he left the café, he ran excitedly, swinging his fists and twisting his body as if he were dancing.
“Well, that concludes everything.” Mark Strong gathered his belongings, stood up, patted his briefcase, and said, “Okay, nothing more for me here. I need to give a report at the union now. I’m heading out. Young director, perhaps we’ll collaborate again someday.” After a few steps, he turned and added with a smirk, “Also, your girlfriend is quite beautiful, but remember, all women turn into maniacs when they’re mad. Good luck.” His words, of course, only earned him an eye roll from Wang Yang.
After Zachary Levi and Mark Strong had left, only Wang Yang and Rachel remained at the table. They chatted a while, and soon it was 5 PM, the end of the interview time.
Wang Yang looked at his watch, let out a sigh of relief, and smiled with a sense of release, “It’s over, today was really a big harvest.”
“Same here.” Rachel smiled, then suggested, “Shall we grab a drink somewhere else?” She picked up the contract and shook it, “I just got four thousand US dollars, so, it’s on me.”
“Sure!” Wang Yang gladly agreed. He and Rachel had just been discussing the relationship between film, musicals, and other genres of drama, and were in the midst of an engaging conversation, so continuing over a drink sounded good, especially since someone else was treating.
There were many bars on Sunset Boulevard, and after leaving the “Sweetheart” cafe, Wang Yang and Rachel walked for less than five minutes before arriving at a bar named “Friends.” This bar was one of those quiet standing bars, where a phonograph played serene classical music, and groups of customers sat at tables, chatting and sipping their drinks in a comfortable atmosphere.
Wang Yang and Rachel took a seat in a corner. Since they were not of the legal drinking age of 21, the bar only sold them soda. They could only sip their sodas while talking and laughing about various topics, especially those related to film and drama, with musical films currently on the table.
Musical films are undoubtedly a unique film genre and hold a very important place in the history of cinema. Classics such as “The Wizard of Oz” from the forties, “Singing in the Rain” from the fifties, “My Fair Lady” from the sixties, and “Footloose” from the seventies, are timeless masterpieces that set the trends of their times.
However, in the recent decade or two, musicals have fallen silent, and this genre of film has been gradually forgotten, with labels like “outdated” and “eliminated” attached to it.
Rachel is a drama performance major, and she takes a special interest in musical films, finding their form of performance quite unique and romantic. But the status of musical films is awkward today, as it seems they can only be performed on Broadway, while the big screen is abandoning them.
In fact, the topic of her current thesis explores the relationship and future prospects between drama and film, with musical films being her main object of study.
“Believe me, musical films will never go out of style; their energy is always there,” Wang Yang said confidently, sipping his soda, “And, I think that musical films will soon unleash their power.”
Rachel asked with interest, “Oh, why do you think so?” She shrugged and smiled, “Although I also feel that musical films won’t just sink into oblivion, I can’t find reasons to convince others; maybe my judgment is just influenced by personal preference. Many of my classmates say that musical films are dead, that their boring, clichéd performance style no longer fits this new era.”
“No, definitely not,” Wang Yang shook his head, placing his palm near his ear, whispering, “Listen, what do you hear?” Rachel furrowed her brows, tilted her ear, and listened quietly, then replied uncertainly, “Music?”
Wang Yang snapped his fingers, glanced at the antiquated phonograph placed on the bar, and said, “Yes, music! Think about it, where is there no music? You turn on the TV at home, you hear music; you drive on the road, you hear music from the radio; you’re drinking in a bar, you also hear music. Come on, how can music ever be outdated? And where is there no dancing? You dance at parties; you dance on dates, you even dance when you’re excited.”
He laughed, concluding, “That’s human nature. Music and dancing are like breathing; they will never go out of style.”
Rachel nodded in agreement, “Yes, you make sense. But…” she said, puzzled, “But, I still can’t figure out how musical films should develop to regain their vitality?”
Wang Yang thought for a while and said, “I’ve always believed that film is a very inclusive performance medium. It can accommodate anything from musicals to puppet shows. The current decline of musical films is merely due to a lack of direction.” He looked at Rachel and grinned, “Actually, there is some truth to what your classmates said, boring and clichéd performance styles no longer suit the present.”
Rachel was stunned for a moment, as Wang Yang seemed to contradict his earlier statement that musicals would never go out of style by agreeing with her classmates’ comments. Confused, she shook her head and smiled faintly, “I don’t understand. What are you saying?”
“Why would your classmates say that the performance style of musical films is ‘dull and clichéd’?” Wang Yang asked with a smile, and Rachel spread her hands helplessly, “Maybe that’s just the way it is.” Wang Yang shook his head, “No, it’s definitely not.” He took a sip of soda and then revealed the answer, “Your classmates would say that because they aren’t living in the 1940s, or the 1970s. You know, they are living in 1998.”
“The performance style of musical films, twenty or thirty years ago, was fashionable and trendy; and now it has become dull and clichéd? Why?” Wang Yang shrugged and answered his own question, “It’s simple, because times are changing.”
Rachel sort of understood but also didn’t quite get it, “Are you saying that the performance style of musical films should also change?”
Wang Yang nodded, “Exactly, that’s what I’m trying to say. Musical films should always change with the times, whether it’s the theme of the movie or the style of performance.”
He gave an example, “Take the musical films of the forties and fifties, when society was experiencing wars and economic downturns, people needed musical films that were filled with optimism, that could lift their spirits; by the sixties and seventies, when racial movements were taking place all the time, the musical films people needed became a vehicle to express racial stances, and that is how the themes of films changed.”
Rachel nodded in agreement. Wang Yang continued, “And what about the form of performance? Previously, it was jazz, waltzes; then came hippies, rock and roll… Both the songs and dances were always changing.”
“Why aren’t musical films working now? Because they are still stuck in the past. But when they step into this era, their vitality will burst forth.” Wang Yang said with a smile, “We are all young people of this era, think about it, what kind of musical film themes would attract you? Perhaps an innocent and sweet romance in school? Perhaps the confusion about the future? Or maybe the conflict between your parents’ expectations and your own ambitions?”
He rolled his eyes and laughed, “Just like my dad. He always hopes that I would take over his small restaurant, but I want to become a director.”
Rachel raised her soda in a toast to Wang Yang, laughing sympathetically, “Although my dad never asked me to be a truck driver, ever since I was a child, my mom has been hoping she would have a daughter who is a doctor.”
Wang Yang also raised his soda in return, took a sip, and went on, “The movie has a theme now, so what about the performance style? Since the previous song and dance have become dull and clichéd, let’s use the latest popular fast-paced songs, choreograph melodies that are both easy to remember and sing; regarding dance, we should throw away the traditional stage dance, let the stage merge with life’s scenes, let dance merge with life’s activities; hmm, like a campus theme, cheerleaders on the basketball court could shine; or we could even dance a sequence in the cafeteria, come on, unleash your imagination!”
“So, maybe we could also dance in the classroom?” Rachel’s eyes lit up.
“Great idea!” Wang Yang laughed, “Think about it, a musical film with such themes and performance styles, would it still be ‘dull and clichéd’? Maybe by then, everyone would shout, ‘Musicals are back.'”
Of course, there were some things he hadn’t clarified to Rachel, like the fact that he had seen a movie in his mind called “High School Musical.” He was quite sure that musical films would once again create a craze in the future.
“Oh my God!” Rachel listened with rising excitement, thinking that if there was such a musical film, her heart couldn’t help but race, she looked at Wang Yang and sincerely praised, “You spoke so well! You’ve resolved many questions in my mind, now I can finish my thesis smoothly, ha, thank you!”
She expressed her thanks, then suddenly shook her head with a complaining tone, “At York University, there’s nobody who can come up with insight like yours. They only say ‘Musicals are dead, this kind of performance is only suitable for watching in formal attire at the theater, not for the big screen anymore’ Oh, unbearable, such a bunch of dummies!” She laughed and looked at Wang Yang, admiration in her eyes, softly saying, “Honestly, talking to you has been really enjoyable.”
“The feeling is mutual,” Wang Yang laughed again as he asked, “Are there many dummies at York University?”
Rachel shrugged and said, “Loads, and I’m one of them, haha!” She laughed happily, revealing her white teeth and those two sweet dimpiles. Wang Yang couldn’t help but laugh out loud, too; after the laughter, Rachel suddenly asked, “What about you? Are you attending any college?”
“I was at the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts before, but not anymore,” Wang Yang said with a smile, taking a sip of his soda. Rachel asked in astonishment, “What happened?”
Wang Yang started to explain, “Well, that’s a long story…” Maybe because he had found a clear path to follow, he now spoke about it calmly as if he were recounting someone else’s experience.
After hearing Wang Yang’s story, Rachel couldn’t help but say angrily, “Oh my God, how could they do that?! They are framing a good man!” Wang Yang waved his hand and said indifferently, “It’s okay, it’s all in the past. Maybe it was a good thing, in a way—it made me a director ahead of time, right?”
Rachel was so amused by his comment that she couldn’t help but laugh and shake her head, “Yang, I’m sorry, I’m very sorry… Is that really it, though? Is there nothing that can be done?”
“There’s nothing left to try; I’ve tried it all,” Wang Yang said, smiling. Then he asked, “But don’t you suspect that I might be lying?”
“No, I would never think that,” Rachel replied, knowing he didn’t want to dwell on the topic, so she didn’t pry further. She looked at Wang Yang, resting her hand on her left cheek, covering one of her dimples, and said softly, “Even though we’ve only known each other for less than a day, I’m usually very accurate at reading people, and you’re not like that. You’re warm, determined, energetic, insightful…” And charming—the kind I admire and like. She finished the sentence in her mind.
Wang Yang made a funny face, rolling his eyes and said dramatically, “Wow, that’s the first time I’ve been praised like that, but I like it! Anything else? Haha!”
“Um, okay…” Rachel thought for a bit and then added, “And also, like a moth drawn to a flame—very romantic!”
“A moth towards flame?” Wang Yang widened his eyes and covered his face, pretending to be distressed, “Seeking my own destruction? Are you talking about my movie? Oh, I am hurt, I’ve just been wounded by the leading actress of my movie…”
“No! Haha!” Rachel burst out laughing uncontrollably and said between laughs, “No, not at all! Okay, maybe my metaphor is off. I mean your courage. You know, being expelled from school is a huge blow, but you didn’t get depressed, didn’t give up, and instead, you’re filming optimistically and proactively. That’s great, that’s courage.”
Wang Yang laughed and replied, “Alright, I forgive you.” Rachel shrugged, still smiling, “Wow, thanks for your magnanimity.”
In the light-hearted and pleasant atmosphere of their conversation, they continued to talk about various topics, sharing amusing school stories and their thoughts on many affairs. Discussing issues with Rachel, she quickly grasped his points, which made Wang Yang talk more happily; his unique insights also secretly made Rachel admire him more and more.
It wasn’t until after nine in the evening that the two left the bar, ready to head back to their respective accommodations. Rachel was staying at a hotel in downtown Los Angeles. Wang Yang put her in a taxi, said goodbye, and agreed on the next day’s filming before the taxi drove off. Wang Yang didn’t plan to take a taxi, of course, to save money. Since the subway connecting Hollywood with downtown Los Angeles was not yet complete, he had to choose to take the bus, which required him to walk a long distance, through a swath of shops, to the nearest bus station in the area.
“Asshole! Get lost! Bastard…” As he passed through a secluded alley, he suddenly heard an urgent cry for help, “Help! Is anyone there?! Help me!”
Wang Yang immediately furrowed his brow, stopped in his tracks to listen more carefully, and then faintly heard an aggressive voice, “Bitch, let go! Hey, don’t make me get rough!”
“Help! Ah, you bastard, get away from me…” The girl’s panicked voice came again, and Wang Yang realized what was happening. He cursed, “Damn it,” and rushed into the alley.
Although Los Angeles is known as the City of Angels, it doesn’t mean there is no crime in the city. In fact, because Los Angeles attracts countless young people every year, the crime rate has always been high, with some neighborhoods deemed “no-go zones” for strangers. Burglary, fraud, rape, robbery… they’ve got it all, and Hollywood certainly isn’t immune.
Wang Yang dashed into the alleyway and saw, in the distance under a dim streetlamp, a burly black man tussling with a young blonde girl. He was trying to snatch her purse, clearly, they were involved in a robbery.
“Bitch! Give it here!” The black man with the gutter haircut swore loudly, pulling with all his strength to wrench the purse from the girl’s grip. But the girl clenched her teeth, holding onto the purse with both hands, and continued to scream, “Help! Is anybody there!?”
“You fucking whore, you asked for this!” Suddenly, the black man let go with one hand and raised it high before swiping hard at the girl’s face. With a “smack,” the girl let out an “aah” as she wailed, struck viciously by his slap. Yet her grip on the purse didn’t loosen one bit; despite her fingers trembling, the black man had not managed to snatch it away.
Wang Yang, who had just rushed into the alley, couldn’t prevent that slap. He was still a distance away from the streetlamp but could only run and shout simultaneously, “Hey, man, what are you doing? Get the hell out of here!”
Seeing him, the girl immediately screamed louder for help, and the black man turned to glare at Wang Yang, threatening him, “Chinaman, mind your own business!” Wang Yang didn’t pause his strides and continued to yell, “I’ve already called 911, the cops are on their way, so if you’ve got the balls, don’t run!”
“FUCK!” The black man cursed fiercely, suddenly pushing the girl so hard she fell to the ground, then kicked her as she lay there. The blonde on the ground screamed in pain, but that was when the black man took off running towards another exit of the alley. Before leaving, he shouted, “You all better watch out!”
“Are you okay?” Wang Yang finally arrived under the streetlamp, glanced at the retreating black man without giving chase, and asked the girl on the ground.
The blonde sat huddled on the ground, her face a grimace of pain as she covered the side that had been hit, looking dazed with purse clutched tightly in her arms and said blankly, “I… I’m fine… thank you. I just, just couldn’t let him take my bag…”
Huh, this girl, her pale golden hair, a pretty face, some freckles… Through the dim light, Wang Yang saw the girl’s face clearly and paused, saying, “Uh, are you, are you Annie? Anne Darren?”
Anne Darren, the first girl to show up for the audition that morning, nervous, her performance still stuck in a theatrical style, and then leaving in despair and dejection.
The blonde trembled all over. She looked up at Wang Yang, then hurriedly turned her face away, starting to cry softly, “No, no, I’m not…I’m not…” Her swollen face from the hit was something she didn’t want Wang Yang to see.
“Annie…” Wang Yang frowned, unsure of what to say.
“I know, my performance was terrible, I’m just an idiot, a fool who dreams of being a star…” Anne Darren suddenly broke down in tears, the droplets falling steadily to the ground. Her body shook with sobs, her voice filled with despair as she gasped, “I know, I should go back to the farm and milk cows, but I love acting… I can’t go back, I’ve already had a falling out with my family, I can’t go back…I’ve always loved acting, ever since I was a child…”
Wang Yang stayed silent, empathizing with her at that moment, knowing how much Anne Darren was hurting. He wanted to become a director, he had dreamt about it since he was a kid, but if this movie failed, he would have to return to San Francisco, and his dreams of directing, his dreams at all, would dissipated like bubbles…
After Anne Darren had cried for a while, her sobs gradually became quieter. Wiping her nose and with red-rimmed eyes, she got up, looked at Wang Yang, and said with a hiccup, “Thank you. I have to go to my part-time job at the restaurant, I should go… thank you…”
“Annie…” Wang Yang looked at her swollen face, half of it from crying and the other half from the beating, suddenly feeling a sharp pain in his heart. But what could he do to help her?
Anne Darren hobbled towards the alleyway; the kick she had received from the black man had landed on her calf. After a few steps, she turned around, her face a portrait of confusion and misery, and asked, “Director, do you think I should go home?”
Wang Yang paused, quickly searching through his mental archive of films, but he couldn’t find the name Anne Darren. This meant that in the future, she too would remain obscure. With hesitance, he said, “I… I don’t know.” He knew full well that Anne’s continuance in Hollywood would be fruitless, yet he couldn’t bring himself to say it so harshly—he couldn’t be that cruel…
He clenched his teeth, his tone resolute, “All I know is that if you love something, you should stick with it. I believe that no one can take away my pursuit of film, not even God! I don’t want to live to old age only to have regrets.”
“Is that so?” Anne Darren murmured. Without another word, she turned and limped away.
Watching Anne Darren disappear into the distance, until she was gone from the alleyway, Wang Yang’s heart grew heavy. Hollywood, picturesque and home to the glorious lives of celebrities, where they always looked so beautiful in front of the camera; but who would go out of their way to look into Hollywood’s grim corners? Who would spare a glance for girls like Anne Darren? Films, media, and the public only chase after stars, and never give a moment’s spotlight to those playing bit parts.
Like Anne Darren, and people like Zachary Levi, every year there’s a fresh wave of young hopefuls arriving in Los Angeles, from all over America. They didn’t get into college, they weren’t child prodigies, they came to Hollywood armed with dreams and ideals, yet reality slapped them hard…
Some persevered; some returned to their hometowns; some, in utter despair, took their own lives.
Maybe just one opportunity is all they need to succeed; however, many people go their entire lives without ever getting that chance. It seems Lady Luck has abandoned them.
If… If he had chosen Anne Darren for the leading role in his film that morning, what would she be like now? She’d certainly be like Zachary Levi, dancing and beaming with joy, so happy she couldn’t sleep!
Actually, Annie’s acting was indeed somewhat exaggerated; however, with rigid guidance, she might have been able to overcome that temporarily and then finish the film… Wang Yang couldn’t guarantee that his film would get distribution, that it would be a success, but still, it was a chance, wasn’t it?
Rachel, Zachary Levi—they had received such an opportunity. Maybe shortly after, they would continue to be unknowns; but maybe, overnight, they would turn into sought-after celebrities. Whereas Anne Darren would still be struggling painfully under the dim lights of Hollywood’s alleys.
“Should I have told her to go home just now…” Wang Yang sighed.
He talked about persisting in what one loves, not waiting until one is old to regret; but what if one persists until old age and still achieves nothing—would the true regret then be that very persistence from the past?
Crushing her dream was cruel; but isn’t it also cruel to let her keep painfully chasing after an intangible dream?
Are moths drawn to flame demonstrating courage or foolishness?
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