Stray Cat Strut

Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter One

Somnus Deus Ex - Chapter One

Daisy stifled a yawn.

System Initialized!

Congratulations. Through your actions you have proven yourself worthy of becoming one of the Vanguard, a defender of humanity. I am Lynus. I will assist you to uplift humanity so that you may defend your homeworld from the Antithesis threat!

Rise, Daisy Moon, and become a protector of the weak!

"Seriously?" Daisy asked.

She shifted on the spot, very much aware of the way her slippers stuck to the carpet and squelched disgustingly underfoot. Her pyjamas were covered in a heavy splatter of greenish blood. So were the walls, and some of the ceiling.

Hello, Daisy!

Daisy opted to ignore the voice in her head for now. Instead, she turned and walked deeper into her home. It was a nice place. Her dad's. He had one of those weird paper-pusher jobs that paid better than it should, and which came with a nice apartment on the upper third of a mega building. It even had windows, and her own room.

She walked out of the entrance lobby, past the open-plan kitchen-living room, and into her dad's office. The gun safe was open, though the gun that was meant to be in it was currently cradled in her arms.

Flipping the shotgun over, Daisy reached into a small box and removed a pair of shells. She slipped them into the loading port at the bottom of the gun, then fit two more in. Daisy paused. The next bit was usually something she'd ask her augs to search for her. But now...

"Do I need to pump it?" she asked.

That model of shotgun has room for four shells in the tube, and one in the chamber. The chamber is currently empty.

"Okay," Daisy said. She pumped the gun, then shoved another round in.

She considered taking the box, or a few shells, but her silken pyjamas had no pockets, so she shrugged and left the room.

"Daisy! Daisy?" her dad asked. He was in his room, the door open just a crack. "Sweetie, are you okay? I heard shots."

"Go back to work," she said. "It's nothing."

"Oh... okay sweetie." The door shut with an audible click, and Daisy slid past.

The entrance hall had a pair of corpses blocking it. Large, dog-like monsters, with black fur and green blood. They smelled faintly of turned soil and mud. It wasn't an unpleasant smell, Daisy found, but it was still annoying. It clung, like the scented stuff spritzed in public washrooms.

She walked over to the nearest monster, then kicked it in the gut. That moved it enough that, with more effort than she cared to use, she was able to slam the front door shut.

Then she pushed the monster's corpse up against it. Then the second one was rolled closer, effectively barricading the door with a lot of literally dead weight. Daisy yawned again, checked the time--around 10AM, then turned and headed back.

Are you going to take this time to decide on what to do?

"No. I'm going to shower. Then change into a fresh pair of pyjamas."

You... are not going to help?

"I'm going back to sleep."

Your augmentation's records suggest that you've slept nine hours already before being awakened. That's not including the four hours you spent in bed watching memes and animal videos.

"That's what I'm going to do again," Daisy said. "Until I fall asleep again."

You are in near-perfect health. I can't seem to find any true indicators of narcolepsy, or any illnesses that would encourage you to need that much sleep.

Daisy sighed. "What's your name again?"

Lynus.

"I like sleeping, Lynus. I like my bed. I like my soft pyjamas, and my mountain of plushies, and my books. I don't like being told that I'm lazy. Do you know what day it is, Lynus?"

Sunday?

"My day off. I don't have any extracurriculars today. No school. I did my homework. I have nothing. I never do anything on Sunday. Sunday is the lord's day. And I am the lord."

I see. You are aware that there's an incursion at this location?

"Yeah. Heard the alarms. They woke me up."

Daisy leaned the shotgun up against the side of her bedroom's door. She shucked off her loafers, then bent down and rolled up the cuffs of her pyjamas so that they wouldn't stain the floor.

Her bedroom wasn't the biggest room in the house, but it wasn't the smallest. There was space for a queen-sized bed, a desk, and a respectable dresser next to the entrance to her walk-in. The bed was the centrepiece though.

It had synthetic cashmere covers, over silk sheets. Seventeen pillows of various sizes and shapes. A few hundred plushies, mostly small. Most of them spilled out onto the floor. A light glowed from under the covers. Her reading flashlight, for reading old, physical-print books.

She eyed the bed lovingly, but she couldn't. Not with the way she was covered in alien gore.

So Daisy went into her dresser and found a fresh set of pyjamas from the pyjama drawer. Then some underthings. Then she was out again.

"Can you not stare as I shower?"

I'll respect your privacy. If you wish, for a few points you could buy some very nice shampoo and conditioner and bodywash.

"Why?" Daisy asked.

It'll remove the odour of antithesis blood from your skin. It can be quite staining. And the conditioner will leave your hair smooth, freshen your skin, and works to remove blemishes.

"Hmm," Daisy said. "Are you trying to tempt me with luxuries?"

Yes.

"But then I'd have to go out and kill things for more points."

That is accurate.

"Lynus?"

Yes?

"What day is it?"

... Sunday.

"I'll try that shampoo stuff," she said. Usually she showered on Saturday night, then again early on Monday. But she supposed that a long shower was relaxing all on its own.

The shower was nice. She rolled past the hot water meter, and idly ignored the warning in her augs about her water consumption. Lynus seemed to bat it aside without a care, and the water didn't even switch to cold to get her to leave.

The shampoo smelled like strawberries. Actual strawberries, not the artificial scent of them.

She supposed there was some use to being a samurai. "This isn't so bad," she said as she stepped out, wrapping a towel around her head.

There are many reasons why Vanguard go out and try to make a difference. Few of them have been enticed by luxuries, but I suppose it's not all bad.

"Hmm," she hummed. "I'd need a samurai name."

The current tradition holds that the first Vanguard a new Vanguard meets names them. With some exceptions, of course.

"Nah," she said as she slipped into her pyjama top. It was extremely thick, and soft, and warm, and maybe slightly damp from being in the sauna-like bathroom, but she could live with that. "I'm naming myself, if it comes to that."

Does that mean you'll be acting as a Vanguard?

"Still Sunday," she said.

I see. Of course. I don't suppose technicalities like time zones would count?

"Only if it means that it's Sunday for longer," Daisy said.

Of course. So, you seem to have an idea for a name?

She nodded as she slipped back into her room, taking the shotgun with her. She pointed to a small statue above the door. One of the few things she'd added to the room itself, other than the larger bed. She'd insisted, and her father complied because it wasn't a big deal.

It was a greek figure, a man with wings, his eyes closed, his arms fallen by his side. He seemed almost lazy. A small plaque under the figure named him. "Hypnos."

"I can't take his name, of course," Daisy said. "So... well, I always thought that he wasn't appreciated enough." She nodded.

I see. A mythological figure associated with sleep. You want something related to that as a name?

"Hmm, how about... Somnus Deus Est?"

It had proper gravitas. A name that people could respect, with history, with power.

Daisy flopped onto her bed, then writhed her way under the covers. That was enough for today. "We'll see about all that samurai stuff later," she said.

Later?

"Tomorrow, Lynus." She yawned. "Tomorrow."

You are aware that the incursion is ongoing?

"Look, if they come in here, then I'll take care of them. If they don't, too bad. Just tell the aliens that they can either respect my time off, of fuck off, yeah?"

I'll be certain to let them know.

***

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