Stop, Friendly Fire!

<Chapter 52. War’s Scenario - 3>

He could tell, looking at them from side to side. They were definitely sisters. The two of them looked incredibly alike and were beautiful enough to be considered the most beautiful in the Empire. So the mood between them was quite unfortunate.

"..."

"..."

"G-Guten Morgen...?"

The mood wasn’t all that great within the secret shop. In the midst of the two sister’s staring contest, Lee Shin Woo spoke carefully. Since Pleine wasn’t giving him her classic greeting, he had to do it.

"...Hello, Mr. Shin Woo."

Pleine twisted her head around and bowed towards Lee Shin Woo. Seira’s eyebrows twitched at ’Mr. Shin Woo’, but Lee Shin Woo ignored her and replied.

"If you have some things to say to each other, then I can leave."

"...No, I’m fine. I don’t really have anything to say to her. Moreover, we can’t really be called sisters anymore."

"Agreed. Now, Mr. Shin Woo, what did you come here for today?"

Lee Shin Woo looked at the two testy women and thought, ’they sure like playing around’. Who was it that begged him to save her sister again? And who was it that asked him to bring her to the secret shop again?

They definitely had a lot to say to each other, yet they were holding back for some reason. Lee Shin Woo had no way of figuring out why, but... if they persisted, then he’d just go about with his business.

"I had some questions and wanted to tell you some things too. First... I killed Seagald. Sorry, I don’t have any keepsakes to give you since they were all burned."

"I see. I already knew since I heard from Her, but thank you for telling me in person. ...In the end, you had to deal with all of our family’s problems. I’m sorry."

"...What’s with you all of a sudden? Isn’t that your specialty?"

"...!"

Ah, crap. Seira finally began talking. She just pressed something. Something more fearsome than the button for a nuclear bomb!

Lee Shin Woo briefly paused but soon decided to calm them down. Unfortunately, Seira was faster.

"That’s the way you deal with things. You run away, as if you’re avoiding reality, and leave all the work to other people."

"Hoh, that’s rich coming from a half-wit like you. You didn’t realize how weak you were, yet you tried to get revenge anyway. And then you lost all your comrades. In the end, you didn’t do anything right."

"I don’t want to hear that from you. You’re not willing to get your hands dirty, yet you’re willing to stand on the sidelines, selling weapons in exchange for such precious karma."

’I’m not sure if she’s never gotten her hands dirty before, but at this rate, she probably will’, Lee Shin Woo thought and urgently tried to interfere, but...

"Hey, shouldn’t we stop this? You’ll just say things that’ll hurt each other..."

"Seira, do you have any idea how I felt becoming God’s apostle? I did it so you wouldn’t have to do it! If our roles were reversed, then I would’ve killed older brother in one hit. One hit! I would’ve killed the Emperor and the likes of Seldin, and brought peace to the Empire a long time ago!"

"Talk is cheap! There were rumors that you talked your way into your Saintess position. They were probably right!"

"Eeeek!"

Ah, crap. It’s all over. The two had forgotten all about Lee Shin Woo and were duking it out! The counter between them was shaking immensely!

"I was managing the communication between the heroes and God, as well as helping the heroes grow, while you went wild, unaware of the undead curse’s effects on you. To you, who became an undead, my job must not seem very important. I’m asking just in case, but this isn’t a specialty store that sells tea leaves. Do you understand?"

"I’m so glad that you, who doesn’t even know what a real battle is, didn’t become an undead. Shall I tell you what our older brother’s last moments were like?"

"Did you even land a hit on him? I believe you didn’t even cry once during the battle, even after Mr. Shin Woo turned you into a level 8 Elder Banshee."

"I did! Mentally! I just thought my intervention wasn’t necessary. You wouldn’t know how important reserve forces are since all you’re good at is yapping and picking tea leaves! Lee Shin Woo even thanked me for making things go so smoothly..."

"Mentally? Pfft!"

"Pfft? Pfft!? You want to spit out blood instead?"

Why is it that when these two sisters met, they showed a side that he’d never seen before? And why hadn’t he noticed that black personality of theirs before...?

Lee Shin Woo watched their intensifying sibling spat, took out some popcorn he’d prepared in advance for moments like this, and sat down in a corner.

He’d made it since Prince wanted to eat it so badly, yet he was the first one to take a bite. Ah, this was the first time he’d made it, but it was delicious. Lee Shin Woo wanted to drink some cola with it. Then... they started to drag him into it as well.

"And what’s with ’Mr. Shin Woo’? ’Mr. Shin Woo’? What, are you trying to seduce a hero now too? You’re so old, so how can you be so indecent? You’re trying to be so charming to a man who was once a level 1 skeleton? Or what, is it that you’re so old now that you’ll become a skeleton yourself soon?"

"Look who’s talking! It doesn’t really matter, does it? You’ve become undead now, so you transcend things like age! Moreover, what’s wrong with how I call him? You, who even at that age didn’t know how to talk to a man without hitting them with your hammer, must think that a man and woman speaking amicably means that they’re in a relationship. Sorry to say, but it’s not true!"

"That’s because once I became older, all that was left were undead and monsters! Or what, did you want me to date someone like Ethan Cruz!? And in the first place, you’re the one who told me I didn’t have a chance with the other male heroes whenever I came here!"

"It’s because you’re clueless when it comes to relationships! You would’ve been ruined if you dated trash like Ethan Cruz! If you’d even bothered to learn love through books, then you would’ve known that my and Mr. Shin Woo’s relationship isn’t like that... Huh? Wait, do you..."

Why did Ethan Cruz have to be cursed out for something he didn’t even do? While Lee Shin Woo shook his head, Pleine alternated between him and Seira, as if she’d figured something out. Seira noticed this and spoke in disgust.

"There’s nothing between us. It looks like you’re the one with your head in the clouds! It must be because you’ve only learned about romance from books. I know that, as a Saintess, men would just respect you; they didn’t ever approach you!"

"They did! They just weren’t good enough for me! Moreover, all the heroes tried flirting with me too! Didn’t know that did you? All of them! Everyone aside from Mr. Skeleton over there!"

"I’m not a skeleton anymore, you know."

’If you want to fight, then keep it to yourselves.’. He’d rather they not drag him into this, but it seemed impossible. Lee Shin Woo sighed and began boiling some water. He’d gotten quite thirsty from eating popcorn, so he decided to brew some tea that he’d bought on the surface.

"...Are you brewing tea here?"

He thought it’d help the extremely agitated Seira relax. It worked, as expected. He didn’t think it would work, but to think it would be this easy. He smiled slightly and poured the boiling water into the teapot.

"You must be thirsty, so please drink a cup before you go on fighting or what not."

"Fighting? We’re not fighting. Besides, I like alcohol more than tea. Something that can wash away all this frustration of mine..."

He knew she’d want alcohol instead of tea. Lee Shin Woo took out something he’d been hiding for this moment. It was a new Kerr Century Label wine bottle.

"Mr. Shin Woo, is that perhaps...?"

"It’s our factory’s newest brandy. It’s harder to make, so we’ve only just started making it."

"Brandy! Kerr Century Label!"

Brandy was a generic term for any distilled fruit wine, but this brandy distilled Kerr Century’s red wine and fermented them in oak barrels.

The price of brandy depended on the grapes and the manufacturing process used and was a luxurious drink. On Earth, Cognac, an area in France, was renowned for their brandy. So, it was only natural that Pleine’s eyes would sparkle once he said ’brandy’.

Whereas Seira looked speechless.

"...You were making that too? What exactly are you doing underground, Lee Shin Woo?"

"Preparing for the future. We’ll be unemployed once we’re done with our mission as heroes. I have to prepare for my later years, don’t I?"

"Preparing for your later years, huh... I anguished over whether I could defeat the Emperor or not, but you were trying to find a job...?"

At first, she didn’t expect much, but her eyes widened, as Lee Shin Woo’s answer exceed any expectations she might’ve had. Whereas Pleine just gazed at him, wondering when she’d be able to taste the brandy. Pleine knew him well enough to not be surprised about him preparing for his later years.

"On our world, we mixed brandy and tea together. Is it the same here?"

"I’m not good with alcohol..."

"I just like drinking alcohol by itself, so... Ah."

"Then why don’t you try it?"

Lee Shin Woo cruelly and boldly added the brandy to the tea, as if he had no intention of listening to them in the first place.

Of course, Lee Shin Woo added only a small amount of brandy to Seira’s cup, so that she could smell it but not taste it. On the other hand, he dumped so much brandy into Pleine’s cup that it was more akin to brandy with the smell of tea.

"You’re not being considerate of the drinkers. How aggressive."

"But isn’t it strange that men like that are popular?"

"I suppose that’s how it is in my older sister and Dana’s romance novels. But in real life, it’s the worst."

Lee Shin Woo ignored her grumbling and drank his own tea. He could smell a soft scent of brandy mixed into his tea, which really fit his taste.

While they were good enough on their own, they tasted better by mixing them together. Brandy tea was a good example of this.

Lee Shin Woo was satisfied. Pleine, who sipped on her own tea, smiled and said.

"...It’s quite good. Is it because of the quality of the brandy?"

"I still like tea as is. But it’s not bad. If I had to pick a side, I’d say I like it, but compared to regular tea it’s..."

She could’ve just said she liked it. Pleine just looked at Seira and sighed. As her older sister, she couldn’t stop worrying about her.

"Ha. He’s too good for you."

"Hmph. I don’t want him."

"Hey, I’m right here. Don’t go giving me to other people all of a sudden."

Lee Shin Woo stopped their delusions and cleared his throat.

"Anyway... Can I ask you something now? It’s regarding the chatting channel."

"The chatting channel?"

[You should talk to me about that.]

He’d asked Pleine, but he heard someone else respond from elsewhere. Lee Shin Woo tilted his head and then, the environment changed. He saw a beautiful flower garden in full bloom as if it’d come straight out of a fairytale, along with a white table. He’d seen these things a few times before. It was God’s garden.

[Come over here and sit. Ah, brew me some tea too. With a lot of brandy.]

"You could just make it yourself..."

Lee Shin Woo was astounded, yet he pulled out a chair and sat down anyway.

Across from him sat that damn God, appearing before him as both an old woman and a high school girl at the same time.

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