Stigma Effect

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After arriving at the infirmary, Raphlet had a long wait as Shudmuel had Yuriel’s medical journal.

As Raphlet watched over a sick Yuriel, he looked at the medical officer with a nervous expression on his face.

He had an expression of dissatisfaction that the medical officer said to leave sick people like this.

The medical officer knew Raphlet as a person who was indifferent to his own wounds and would tell medical officers to tend to the knights who were more severely injured by monsters during the subjugations. He said,

“In my opinion, it’s just a cold, so you don’t have to worry too much. Commander Raphlet.”

“Quiet.”

The voice that had the courage to change the mood softly before Shudmuel arrived, was quickly drowned out by Raphlet’s voice.

It was because Yuriel, who had fallen into a light sleep, heard the medical officer’s voice and wrinkled her eyebrows. Raphlet erected a partition next to her bed while the medical officer, who lost his courage, shrugged his shoulders.

The medical officer, who cared for Raphlet, thought he was better off hiding, and he concentrated on what he was going to do. Even during times when monster subjugation was not taking place, the medical officers were always busy.

Since the subjugation would start soon, it was time to check the medical tools in advance as well as replenish the necessary medications.

The medical officer made a loud rattling noise from beyond the partition. Raphlet contemplated whether or not to give attention, and recalled that this was the medical division.

It was not his jurisdiction.

When he was gently stroking Yuriel’s head, who was startled by the rattling sound the medical officer made, Shudmuel arrived.

Even though he was suddenly called at night, he had a neat appearance.

“What about Yuriel?”

“She is in bed 5. Commander Raphlet accompanied her.”

“Is Commander Raphlet still with her?”

“Yes, he is right next to the bed.”

“Here it is, Commander Shudmuel.”

As soon as he entered, in response to his question of looking for Yuriel, the medical officer guided him to the bed. Turning his head, Shudmuel looked at the partition that was rarely used and asked questions one after another.

Hearing Shudmuel’s question, the medical officer answered yes, and at the same time, Raphlet pushed back the partition.

Raphlet, looking from the back of the partition, scanned Shudmuel’s body.

“Where is the medical journal?”

He waited for a long time because the medical officer said he couldn’t prescribe medicine because he didn’t have Yuriel’s medical journal. However, Shudmuel’s hands were empty.

When Raphlet asked the question softly, Shudmuel approached the bed and said,

“I know all the drugs Yuriel is taking now, I can prescribe it right away. Don’t worry, Commander Raphlet.”

Shudmuel, who had no intention of prescribing medicine to Yuriel, answered so. When he saw Yuriel’s face lying on the bed, he clicked his tongue.

Not long after she had been told that she could not take medicine, she developed a fever and was taken to the infirmary. After Raphlet passed the thermometer to him, he stepped in and checked Yuriel’s body temperature.

Even from a quick glance he could tell Yuriel had a very high fever.

If the fever rose even a little more than now, it would be dangerous, so Shudmuel thought about it for a while.

It would be to his advantage for Yuriel to lose her child.

The reason he decided to help her give birth was because he wanted to correct the mistakes of the past, even now. But Shudmuel understood that Yuriel wasn’t the one he couldn’t save in the past.

It was an old feeling of debt. It was also not towards Yuriel, but a sense of debt towards his mother.

Reaching out to her flushed cheeks, Shudmuel recalled his old memories.

＊＊＊

His memories of being born as an illegitimate son of a high priest and spending time in the Temple orphanage were not pleasant to recall. It was said that Shudmuel’s mother, who was a follower of the High Priest, was thrown out of her family after giving birth to him and stayed in a temple orphanage.

Born into a noble family, it was not a suitable place for her to live as she had spent her whole life being served. Because of his mother, Shudmuel learned a lot unlike other children.

She was always concerned about Shudmuel, and she was devoted to imparting knowledge so that he could live on his own, even if he had to leave the Temple orphanage when he grew up.

Of all his mother’s teachings, it was medicine and psychiatry that intrigued Shudmuel. His mother was overjoyed when she learned that Shudmuel was interested in medicine.

‘With this, you’ll be welcomed wherever you go.’

My son.

She hugged Shudmuel and kissed him on both cheeks. As a young boy, Shudmuel pushed his mother away, who showed him generous affection.

The eyes of the other children in the orphanage were full of jealousy towards him for having a mother.

It was not pleasant to receive the jealous gazes of children of the same age. It wasn’t that he hated his mother’s expression of affection, though.

Shudmuel pretended to be flipping a book and looked at his mother’s expression. She smiled as if she knew everything, and she just brushed his hair.

And it was the following spring.

‘You’re going to have a younger sibling, Shudmuel.’

His mother was pregnant with the high priest’s child again.

‘A younger sibling? There are a lot of other siblings here, but I will have more?’

‘It’s a little different from the younger siblings in the nursery. It’s a real younger sibling.’

‘I don’t need it.’

He seemed to be a little jealous at the thought that her affection would be split. His mother smiled as if she knew everything.

He learned that the High Priest was his father thanks to his mother’s pregnancy.

Even before his mother was pregnant, he would occasionally sneak into the orphanage and chat with her, but when people noticed that the high priest was sneaking into the orphanage, people giggled as they told dirty stories behind him.

It was at that time that his mother’s face began to darken. She tossed her body to and fro from time to time, as if in a nightmare, and even when she was sleeping, she jumped up, hugged her belly, and watched her surroundings.

‘It’s okay, nothing will happen. He couldn’t have ordered such a thing.’

He didn’t know what the words muttered with her terrified face meant.

‘It’s our child, there’s no way someone who cares about Shudmuel would do that….’

Shudmuel looked at her panicking and simply thought she didn’t want the child. He rummaged through the medical books all night long, which his mother had saved, and found that his brother could be erased.

As he wandered the garden of the orphanage, contemplating what to do to obtain the medicine from the book, Shudmuel saw his mother being dragged in the arms of people he had never seen before.

In front of him was the high priest.

‘Mother?’

Shudmuel dropped the book and ran. Captured by the men, she twisted her body, pulled her arms out, and hurried to him.

Embracing Shudmuel’s body, she looked at the high priest and scoffed at him. Curse words were mixed in.

Even as she wielded the curse words, the high priest’s eyes were on Shudmuel. He spoke as if making excuses to Shudmuel.

‘I’m trying to move you to a better place than here.’

‘Do you think I’m still an idiot who believes in you? No way. Don’t touch my children!’

It was a scream he never thought would come out of her mouth. A ray of light leaked out of the nursery, which had been turned off, as someone heard the loud voice.

The high priest left the place with his men with a dismayed face.

His mother was swearing and cursing towards the place where the high priest disappeared. The sight of her screaming into the air was as crazy as anyone could say.

People running out of the orphanage ripped Shudmuel off and shouted at her, calling her to come to her senses.

‘Why are you doing this? Shudmuel was scared!’

‘Calm down!’

‘Why are you doing this in the middle of the night, are you crazy?’

The high priest left as it was, but seeing his only guardian collapse left a deep scar on the young Shudmuel.

From that day on, his mother became strange. She struggled with anxiety as she tried to hide her increasingly swelling belly.

No one believed that the high priest had tried to take her away. Out of her mind, they believed she made up things as she suffered from anxiety.

‘She must be really crazy. After the baby is born, I have to send her to the hospital right away.’

‘Does she not know how much the high priest looks after her?’

‘Shudmuel, what did you see that day?’

‘… no.’

‘He didn’t see anything either.’

‘Look at that, she’s crazy.’

He feared that he and his mother might be kicked out of the orphanage if he said that he had seen the high priest that day. As he lied and turned around, his mother was staring at him with dazed eyes.

Her emotionless eyes gave a creepy feeling. The people left, leaving Shudmuel and her alone.

With only the two of them left, she calmly opened her mouth.

‘Did you really see nothing?’

‘I…. I didn’t see anything.’

‘Yes, that’s a relief.’

At that time, he shouldn’t have answered his mother like that.

The young Shudmuel didn’t know how terrible his mother’s trauma was; of being kicked out of her family when she was barely an adult, betrayed by someone she trusted and denied by the only child she loved.

Or how precarious she was.

From that night on, she had completely lost her mind.

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