Chapter 131 I Just Don't Want To Be Alone
Maxen tossed and turn on the bed, trying to get some sleep. However, no matter how long he had his eyes closed, he couldn't fall asleep. The look in Cosette's eyes would hover over his head repeatedly, forcing Maxen to sit up in frustration.
Knowing he wouldn't sleep in this state, Maxen decided to take a quick shower to clear his head. And so he did.
As Maxen walked out of the bath, wearing just a robe, to the bed, he heard a faint knock on the door. He stopped drying his hair, letting the towel rest over his head.
"Who could it be?" he wondered, furrowing his brows. It was already three in the morning, so Maxen was a bit baffled about who and what was the purpose of this sudden disturbance. To get the answer, Maxen sauntered towards the door and opened it without a second hesitation.
The second Maxen opened the door, his pupils dilated as soon as his eyes fell on the person standing outside.
"Cosette?" he furrowed his brows, looking at her from head to toe. She was still in her new pairs of pajamas and hair tied in a messy bun. What caught Maxen's attention was her puffy eyes and the redness on the tip of her nose.
Cosette slowly raised her eyes at him, studying his face for a moment. When her eyes fell on his collar and a part of his exposed chest, Maxen cleared his throat.
"Cozie, what are you doing here? At this hour?" he asked worriedly, watching her raise her eyes at him. The moment he locked eyes with her, his heart clenched. "What is wrong?"
"I can't sleep," came out a quiet and rasped voice. "Can I sleep here?"
"What?"
"I want to sleep here." This time, Cosette didn't beat around the bush and rephrased her request. "Can I?"
Maxen opened and closed his mouth before he breathed out deeply. "You can't." He shook his head. "You aren't even allowed to approach my room… or at least, with just the two of us."
"No, Max. You are not the one who isn't allowed to approach my room. That doesn't apply to me." Cosette took a step forward, making him step back at her gutsy aura.
"Cosette."
"I'm going crazy, Max. I don't know what to do anymore. If I go back to my room now and stay there all alone… I don't know what I will do."
Maxen's breath hitched, studying her eyes. He knew Cosette thus, he knew at one glance she wasn't joking. There was a moment of silence between them with neither of them speaking nor looking away.
"Your dad might kill me, but sure." He gave in, opening the door wide open for her. Maxen stepped aside, motioning his arm for her to enter. "Go."
Cosette glanced at him and rocked her head, entering his room without a second hesitation. A deep exhale slipped past Maxen's lips, gazing at her back as she entered his room.
'I don't know what she's thinking anymore,' he told himself, not even having any slight silly idea of staying in one room with her. Maxen lazily reached for the door and closed it. However, just before he could follow her, he froze when she spoke.
"Lock it."
"Wha — What?" he nearly gasped, looking at Cosette who walked straight towards the window. Maxen furrowed his brows as she didn't reply anymore. He held on to the lock, sighing in distress.
In the end, Maxen withdrew his hand and didn't lock the door. He then walked towards the bed, standing several steps from it.
"Did you lock it?" she asked, her back facing him.
"No, Cozie. I didn't." His answer was quick and firm. "You can sleep here, but I don't want others to have any silly idea."
The side of her lips curled, biting her tongue to stop herself from laughing. "Max, do you think the moment you let me in, people will think nothing happened?" she slowly turned around to face him, making him crease his brows at the playfulness in her eyes.
"Even if something or nothing happened, people will still think there must be something. It's better if we at least make it happen, right? So we won't feel so wrong."
"What?" Maxen let out a dry laugh, in disbelief at her remarks. "Cosette, what did you say?"
"Nothing." She shrugged. "I'm just letting you know I don't care if something happened. I want it. I want you. But if you don't want to, then that's fine too. I just don't want to be alone tonight."
Cosette pressed her lips and held her hands behind her, taking huge steps towards the bed. Cosette then jumped on the bed, bouncing as she landed on the side.
"Thank you for letting me in, Max." She smiled sweetly.
Maxen was rendered speechless as he watched her move the blanket. One second, he almost didn't recognize Cosette. Her bluntness didn't sound reckless blabbering but a decisive one. Maxen never saw that look in her eyes too. And then the next second, when she smiled, the Cosette he knew was back.
Was he just imagining it? No, he definitely didn't. Something was going on, and Cosette was just keeping it to herself. Something had changed even if she act everything was alright.
"What are you doing?" Her voice brought Maxen back to the current lapse. "Aren't you going to change? Or do you like sleeping naked?"
"Huh?" His brows rose, looking down, realizing he was still in a bathrobe. "Tsk."
Cosette bit her lower lip, watching him stomp his feet away to the walk-in closet for Maxen. As soon as the door slid closed, the side of her lips curled up.
"How cute," she whispered, moving her butt until her back was against the headboard. "If this was before, he would've dragged me in the second he saw me standing outside his doorsteps."
Cosette waited for Maxen to get changed, looking around the room. Maxen's room wasn't like any teenage boy would have. It was almost plain; he didn't decorate it to his taste, thinking he had no right to do so.
"Well, it's not like he is the picky one," she mumbled, rocking her head in understanding. "For him, as long as he had a bed to sleep on, he's cool."
Her subtle smile grew gentler, moving her soft eyes to the door of his walk-in closet. It was almost funny how Maxen had a walk-in closet when she was certain — even though she hadn't seen it herself — that it was empty.
Maxen was a cheapskate right now. He wasn't the man who would splurge on suits and grand things. She hadn't seen him buy anything expensive for himself, saving almost everything up for his future.
"I missed him," she whispered. "That Maxen. I missed him."
As soon as the last syllables of her words fell from her lips, the door she was staring at slid open. Her lips stretched wider, catching Maxen wearing a sweater and sweatpants. His eyes instantly locked with her as he closed the door behind him.
"You sleep there. I'm going to sleep on the…" Maxen looked around, only to regret the head butler's and Cosette's suggestion to decorate his room lest he would have visitors. "I'll sleep on the floor."
'It's not like there's a problem sleeping on the floor.' He told himself.
"I'll ask someone to bring me some extra blankets," he remarked, about to head outside to ask for a blanket and let Conrad know Cosette was in his room. He didn't want Conrad to have the wrong idea. However, just as he took three steps, he stopped.
"Why sleep on the floor when there's enough space for two?" Cosette tilted her head to the side, watching him sigh before looking back at her. She patted the empty side of the bed.
"I promise I won't do anything funny. I know you're not ready to be defiled; I won't bite."
"Cosette." Maxen ran his fingers through his hair in distress. "Why are you doing this?"
"Am I being interrogated?"
"No, but I don't understand."
"Don't you want to spend some time with me?"
Maxen ground his teeth, pacing back and forth before he dropped his hand. He then walked towards the bed, sitting on the edge of the mattress, eyes fixed on her.
"It's not about whether I want to spend some time with you or want you out. Cozie, you know how sensitive we have been and sleeping together… did I make you angry to torture me like this?"
"Maxen Devi — Cloven, I already said I don't mind if something happened between us. What is it you do not understand with the words I said? I want it. I want you. But it's also fine if you don't want it to happen since I understand you respect my dad, and you do not want to get caught up in the heat of the moment." Cosette's breathing shook, reaching her hand to him.
"I just want you to hold me, Max. Just for tonight. I don't want to sleep alone. Is that too much to ask?"
Maxen's heart clenched at seeing the layers of emotions slowly peel away in her eyes, revealing the deep sadness and desperation in them. He huffed faintly, holding her hand with his thumb.
"Fine." Again, Maxen gave in, but this time, it wasn't because she asked. He agreed because he wanted to console her.
Her lips curled up subtly as she nodded. "Thank you," she whispered, moving aside as Maxen slipped under the blanket.
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