Chapter 362 Room For Growth
"M-my Lord... I..." Sariel's voice shook with each word that came forth.
"Sariel. You're still conflicted, aren't you? You're confused about why I made such a decision, right? Come on. Speak. That is an order."
"T-then tell me why!" Her voice was surprisingly loud, almost enough to cause the entire area to tremble in response.
I shuddered a bit, terrified by the aura she exhumed.
To see someone who was usually so calm express such intense emotion... it went to show just how immense her bottled-up feelings were.
"The thing is, Sariel... I was tired of it all."
The bombshell seemed to shatter Sariel's whole existence. I watched as any semblance of calm left her face.
The Archangel's face was raised and she stared at the screen with immense shock.
"This is just my selfishness, but... I couldn't take it any longer."
The Supreme Being, also referred to as God, continued speaking about how predictable everything was.
To be honest, I sort of understood his point of view. Once he shared his narrative, I wondered why none of the other Supreme Beings didn't get it.
Why didn't they also get bored of everything?
"The answer is simple. Just as Jeremy Lewis is a Singularity among humans, I am also one among the Supreme Beings."
For everything that 'is', there exists a world where it 'isn't'.
If that logic applied to Gods as well, then the one before me was the only one among his comrades who had enough self-awareness to feel such despair.
"Sariel, I know you've always been content with your duties. You do not see any meaning outside your responsibilities and the justice which you must dispense. That is simply because it is the reason for your existence."
I glanced at the Archangel, who was still staring in the same way since the monologue started.
"You are the greatest of the Archangels, but even you have a flaw. You are unable to grow beyond your narrow perspective... just like every other Archangel."
The whole thing made a bit of sense, but... it didn't completely ring true.
Wasn't there ever a time when Sariel displayed emotions? She was capable of feelings, wasn't she?
Even when she was told to kill me, she took the initiative to investigate my abilities. She got incredibly flustered when I killed Lara, and her reaction when she couldn't figure out a way to learn the truth was... humanlike.
Despite the supposed coding that had gone into the Angel, I couldn't completely agree that she was bound by her duties.
"I refuse to accept that." I glared at the being on the screen.
I had no idea when I started being so considerable for someone.
No, was it that I was never actually considerable?
When I thought of things more, the reasons behind my actions were driven by two major things—survival and power.
Initially, I crossed any line to achieve my goals.
Then, as I grew more powerful than anyone else—eliminating most challenges in my oath—I viewed everyone and everything as less than worthwhile.
Perhaps my numbed emotions also had something to do with it.
However, now that I was feeling everything come upon me at once, I had to decide... what exactly I was going to do.
"Jeremy Lewis... I leave Sariel to you. You seem to believe that there's a potential for growth in her. If so... then I would also like to see that as well."
Sariel did not move from her location, but her head tilted, and she slowly stared in my direction.
Her clear eyes seemed so full. What occupied them, though? I couldn't tell.
"I understand. But, it's kind of hard to do that when I'm powerless and stuck here. Can you do anything about that?" I asked, scratching my head.
Bottom line was that, while knowing the truth of the universe and whatnot was important, I had to get on with my life.
Whether that meant remaining in the Sacred Hall—where it was supposedly safe—or obtaining enough power to challenge my opponents... I needed a path.
"I'm quite powerless right now. My main body was integrated with the System, so I actually don't have any (G) Essence to utilize. I can't interact with the principles of this world or anything like that.
"What? Why?" Sariel beat me to the punch, but I wanted to scream too.
"It's boring being omnipotent and stuff. I thought we already went through this."
His point stood, but still...
"Doesn't that mean you're useless right now?" I found myself blurting out.
A God without (G) Essence couldn't assist me in any way.
"I might as well just spend the rest of my life here."
Murmuring to myself, my body plopped to the ground and I stared at the Golden Screen with an expectant face.
"Calling me useless, ouch... even though I've been with you every step of the way..."
"Eh?"
The Supreme Being's words shocked me, but before I could process more, a System Window appeared before me.
[Subspace Notice]
[Who's useless, human?]
[That's Right!]
It took a moment for it to sink in, but when it did, I exclaimed.
"You're the Subspace Interface?!"
My voice was unbelievably loud, so I instantly recoiled after blurting out my words unconsciously.
"Somewhat. I simply used the already existing System as a model and designed my own. I'm the Administrator, though, so I can do cool stuff with it."
"Consider me shocked."
"How do you think I monitor your actions? I embedded myself into your abilities."
That made sense... though it sounded weird.
"You got me, uh? Very well... what now, then?"
The question hadn't changed.
There was a lot I didn't understand, and Sariel didn't exactly seem to have any answers at this point.
While I understood the reason behind the Supreme Being's actions, as well as the cause of my being chosen among everyone else, it didn't exactly tell me how to move forward.
"Your full memories are still here. Once you get them, it's a problem half solved."
I smiled upon hearing this.
"How do we solve the other half?"
The white being on the screen smiled.
"Well, we grant you your reward for making it this far..."
My heart thumped fast, and I could already guess what was coming.
There was only one reward the (G) System blessed me with.
"... I'll be granting you my (G) Essence."
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