Return of the Runebound Professor

Noah’s mask was doing a remarkable job of hiding the blood streaking down his face.

Pain wrapped his entire being. Spikes dug into the insides of his stomach and jabbed deep into his spine, trying to blend him apart from within. His skull pulsed with a relentless headache and his mouth was as dry as a desert rock.

It had been a long time since he’d last had an Inquisitor turn their magic against him. He hadn’t forgotten the sensation in the slightest — but he was a lot stronger than he had been the last time he’d faced one.

He could withstand it. It wasn’t an enjoyable experience by any stretch of the imagination, but that didn’t matter. Noah could deal with pain. He’d felt worse. So long as the Inquisitors bought his bullshit, he would stand in the center of the room and eat the burning magic for as long as it took.

And it was working.

The entire room stood in stunned silence. Inquisitors and demons and nobles stood alike, frozen like a sea of ice sculptures, disbelief holding all of them in place.

Not a single one of them could tell who he was or what he was supposed to be. He claimed to be from the Damned Plains, withstood Inquisitor magic, but did not work with the attacking demons.

Attempting to discern his intentions was impossible.

Even for him.

I’ve literally been talking out of my ass for the past few minutes. I’m going to need to use the bathroom if I’m forced to spew much more bullshit… but at least I’ve gotten just about every single rune I wanted and then some.

The original plan is in smoking shambles, but who gives a shit? We have what we came for. All I need now is a way out… and to test a few things in the process.

“Are you man or demon?” the Inquisitor before Noah demanded, clutching his rosary to his chest like it was a pearl necklace around the neck of a wealthy woman who had never worked for so much as a penny in her life.

“Dispatch him,” another Inquisitor ordered as he ripped himself free of his surprise. “Man or demon, he plans to collaborate with the enemy. Spider is our foe.”

The first Inquisitor grabbed a dagger from his waist and slashed it across his hand. Blood exploded forth in a river, swirling around him—

There was a wet thunk.

Blood splattered across Noah’s clothes.

The Inquisitor froze. He swayed, then looked down at a clawed hand protruding from his chest, fingers wrapped around a still-beating heart.

His lips parted. Whether it was in surprise or pain, they never got to find out. The hand squeezed shut and the organ squelched like a wet sack of meat — which Noah supposed it was. Without a word, the Inquisitor pitched forward.

He crashed to the ground and his rosary slipped from his fingers. It rang against the stone floor with a loud, echoing crack. Several of the bones shattered and their pieces rolled to a stop all around the dead man, quickly swallowed by a growing pool of blood spreading around his body.

And above the dead man stood Lee. The nails on her hand, now stained red, had sharpened to elongated points. Blood and viscera covered it like a layer of thick, unmixed paint. It dripped and splattered to the floor beside the Inquisitor.

It took Noah a moment to even realize he recognized her.

“Anyone who approaches Spider will die,” Lee said, her voice ringing through the silent room.

It wasn’t a threat. It was a promise.

“A demon killed an inquisitor,” a noble whispered. His fear spread through the room like an invisible serpent, coiling through the air in a split instant.

There was another moment of silence.

“Run!” a woman screamed.

Nobles scrambled in every direction. Magic surged and chaos descended like a heavy blanket — only to be rudely ripped away no more than an instant later as an immense domain slammed down over the entire room.

The frost covering the ground and walls grew thicker. Noah drew deeply on Combustion, yanking power from the Master Rune to keep his body from starting to freeze.

“Calm yourselves,” a woman said, emerging from the crowd of inquisitors and shrugging off her robes. Glistening white and silver armor covered her body, patterned in the unique fractals of falling snow.

Every step she took left a frozen step on the ground. Coils of frosty mist rose up from it and tendrils of ice stretched out from them, freezing portions of the ground into solid ice. Her eyes burned into Noah; two flat, frozen lakes. Her angular features were completely emotionless.

The hair on the back of Noah’s neck stood on end, and it wasn’t from the temperature. She was strong. Not the strongest person he’d ever come up against, but after meeting Sievan, it was going to be rather difficult for anyone to ever fill those shoes.

Lee lowered her stance as the woman approached, but Noah put a hand on her shoulder.

She was a lot stronger than the average Rank 4, but this was no mere Inquisitor. She was too strong. To have a domain this large… she was a Rank 6, and she was easily as strong as Evergreen had been if not considerably more powerful.

“Wait,” Noah said. “I do suspect that this will go nowhere, but I am of the monogamous sort.”

“I think it’s magnanimous,” Lee whispered to him.

Unfortunately, she didn’t quite whisper quietly enough to keep her voice from reaching every single ear in the auction house.

We’re really going to have to work on our inside voices a bit.

“Right. Thanks,” Noah said in a considerably better whisper before raising his voice once more. “The magnanimous sort. I have no quarrel with the Inquisitors, and I don’t believe they have any true reason to have one with me.”

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“I’m certain you’d like it to be that way,” the woman said quietly. “But even if I ignore my man — who you just orchestrated the death of — you are the vile sort that associates with demons. Your kind must be purged for the good of the kingdom.”

Noah lifted a hand into the air. His mask repressed the agonized grimace that pulled at his lips at the effort of the motion. “Ah. See, you’re misunderstanding things just a little bit.”

“Pray tell,” the female Inquisitor said. “I would be fascinated to know of my shortcomings.”

Her voice was so flat that it felt like a literal blade of sarcasm driving into Noah’s gut… or perhaps that was just every single one of his internal organs trying to give out on him.

The other Inquisitors milled about in confusion, their rosaries readied in their hands. They didn’t want to attack without her permission, but waiting around in a sea of hidden demons was practically asking to get your head ripped off.

Fortunately — or perhaps unfortunately, depending on the perspective — the demons didn’t dare start fighting. It was going to be hard for them to believe that Spider wasn’t a demon. And if he was… he’d offered them the moon and the stars.

None of them could even consider trying to break the uneasy peace until they’d had a chance to hear him out. Only once he spoke could they risk revealing themselves.

The Inquisitors knew it too. One of them approached the armored woman, his rosary wrapped around his hands and his eyes locked on Lee and Noah.

“Mistress Fuyin, our orders were to purge without—”n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om

“We,” Noah said loudly. “Are not demons. None of my associates are.”

“Your companion has a horn,” Fuyin said flatly. “They are not even attempting to conceal their origin.”

“I was unaware that deer were also demons,” Noah said. “Though some of us may share a few similar traits with the race known as demons, we are not of their ilk. Not anymore.”

The Inquisitor who had companied a moment ago grabbed his rosary and lifted it into the air. Noah clenched his stomach. He couldn’t afford to attack. Killing the man wouldn’t be too difficult, but it would destroy the air of control he’d managed to wrest for himself.

The moment it became clear the Inquisitors attacks did affect him, the whole jig would be up. And, before that could happen, everyone else needed to get out.

“Then tell me, what are you?” Fuyin asked. “Adrien, stand—”

The Inquisitor stepped forward. Burning white light ignited in the rosary.

“Die in agony, demons!” the man screamed, charging forward.

And then Lee was before him. Her closed fist slammed into his stomach. The man doubled over in agony and let out a surprised wheeze. The rosary whipped in his grip, nearly flying from his grip, and Lee’s hand clamped down on top of it.

The Inquisitors eyes went wide.

“You can touch—”

His head rolled back mid-sentence, severed at the neck, and thunked to the ground. It was followed by the rest of his body a moment later. Lee held the rosary before her, watching the light fade from it, then tossed it onto the man’s corpse.

“I warned you,” Lee said softly.

A heartbeat of silence passed.

Well, it looks like my theory was right on the money. The Inquisitors really don’t have anti-demon magic at all. They have anti-Decras magic… and there isn’t any of Decras’ original runes left in Lee. She consumed it to evolve.

“Did you see that?” the demon standing on Jalen’s platform asked, awe burning in her eyes as brightly as the light of a rosary. “That demon is immune to the Inquisition’s magic!”

She wasn’t the only one. Excited murmurs rose through the crowd from demons unable to contain their disbelief.

“This is what I promise,” Noah called out. “To any demon that lays down their arms and joins me — I will grant you evolution. I will make you who you were always mean to be. The runes within you are chains, but I can fix that.”

Inquisitor Fuyin stared at Noah like she were trying to pry his mask off with her gaze. She didn’t seem too concerned about the dead men at her feet.

“Even if you are no demon, you cannot think I will allow you to empower the greatest enemies of humanity,” Fuyin said. She pressed her palms together. Frost gathered between them as she pulled her hands apart, forming into a glistening sword.

“They will not be your enemies,” Noah said. “Demons are as much a victim of their power as humanity is. The reason they hunt humans is not one of their own control… but I can change that. If your wish is to purge demons from this world, Inquisitor, then I am your greatest ally.”

“Liar!” Another Inquisitor yelled.

Noah’s lips twitched in amusement behind his mask.

The funniest thing is, I’m being completely honest. I really can completely remove the majority of the threat demons pose to people. Half of these guys are only hunting people because their runes force them to… but all that matters is that I’ve given the demons a reason to fight.

After this, the demons will put up enough of a distraction out of desperation to get free of their weakness that Lee and the others can escape. Any that actually manage to find us, I’ll keep to my word and fix. If I want to take on the Nobles gunning for Isabel’s Master Rune, I’ll need an army.

I can hardly pass this opportunity up. It’s not my fault this one just served itself to me on a silver platter.

“Hold,” Fuyin said, raising a hand.

Noah blinked in surprise.

There was genuine thought in her features. She was actually considering his words.

“How?” Fuyin asked.

Many of the other Inquisitors spun to her in surprise. A large man pushed through the ranks, throwing his hood back to reveal a bald man with a thick, bushy beard and unsettling, golden eyes. The man barely even looked human. He was nearly eight feet tall and proportionately wide. It was like a brick wall had taken to the flesh.

“You can’t be planning to hear him out,” the mountain of a man said. “Fuyin, you are stepping out of bounds. We have our orders.”

“Our duty is to seek ways to halt the demons. Spider claims to possesses one,” Fuyin said flatly. “We have waited this long. I believe it is wise to wait longer, Inquisitor Tren.”

She’s not the one in charge? There’s no way they sent two Rank 6s for this, right? Does that mean Fuyin is actually just a really strong Rank 5? Damn. I’d love to get a look at what runes she’s got rattling around.

“You are overruled, Fuyin. We will discuss this after the conclusion of this Inquisition. It seems your attitude may need to be adjusted,” the large man said. He turned toward Spider and pulled a huge rosary free of his sleeves, cracking his neck. “Inquisitors, prepare to—”

“You could try that,” Noah drawled. If Fuyin was interested in his offer… perhaps he could leverage that. “And many of you will die. Perhaps most. But why would you cut the tail of the lizard when it will simply regrow?”

“What do you propose?” Fuyin asked.

Tren glared at her. “Enough, Fuyin. Your orders are to purge. This arrogant fool claims to be the head of the demons, but all he can do is stall for time. There will be no more—”

“I will remain behind. Everyone else here will leave,” Noah said. “You’ll have many chances to kill demons in the future… but how many will you get to learn information from the one who can stop them?”

“What?” Lee asked, spinning to Noah.

“Or I can kill you and all the other demons here,” Tren rumbled. “And then I will get everything I want.”

“You can certainly try,” Noah said. “And regardless of what happens, you will not learn anything that I have to share. You need the knowledge I possess, Inquisitors. So tell me — will you lose the battle for a chance to win the war?”

The huge man stared at Noah. All around him, Inquisitors twitched and nervous crowds stared down at them. If Tren attacked, this would be a bloodbath. Even with this many Inquisitors, there were enough demons to do an enormous amount of damage and everyone knew it.

“What do you fancy yourself,” Tren growled. “Some manner of savior?”

Noah smiled. His Grimoire had given him a perfect answer for that, even if the book hadn’t been thinking of this particular scenario when they’d last spoken.

“I prefer to think of myself as a Herald.”

“They’ll never let you live,” a demon called. Noah glanced up at the voice — it was Aylin who had spoken. “If you do this, you’ll die! Why would you give up so much for demons you don’t know?”

Nice, Aylin.

“Because I am not so easily killed,” Noah said simply. “Today will be remembered as a demonstration of my power. It is up to the Inquisitors to determine if the memory will be carved into history with blood or quill. So what do you say, Tren? Will you burn your chances at true victory just to kill a few demons?”

Tren glanced to Fuyin, then grit his teeth.

“Speak, then.”

Hook, line, and sinker.

“Everyone is to evacuate first. I will remain. And then — only then —will we bargain.”

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