Chapter 204 *** https://www.patreon.com/subliminalwayfarer
Chapter 204 *** https://www.patreon.com/subliminalwayfarer
Carynne thought about her past that she couldnt remember.
At some point, she had held onto that gold coin. It was an object of comfort for her, proof that she had not lost her mind, a medium to reaffirm the reality of her repeated lifeeven if others didnt believe it.
She thought about the numbers engraved on the gold coin.
She had surely lost the coin midway. So why did she.
Carynne wondered if she truly held the coin every time she met her demise. Her memories from the times enveloped in the madness of death were vague.
Hadnt she lost the coin last time? And when she was murdered by Borwen in quick succession, she wasnt even holding the coin.
And the last time, she died in Raymonds arms.
Why did I have the gold coin this time?
Carynne genuinely couldnt remember why she first got that gold coin. As a matter of fact, she never really thought deeply about it before.
She just picked up a coin from the market and used it as evidence, engraving and erasing repeatedly, but the coin itself was nothing special.
Could even that have been calculated by Dullan?
Carynne murmured to Nancy.
You said youd tell Dullan if you saw it.
Yes He told me to definitely say if there are numbers engraved on it.
When?
About two days ago, recently. But Milady, is this really okay?
Nancy was always there beside Carynnedressing her, washing her, feeding her. It wasnt strange for her to know everything, being always with her.
But what did Dullan know? It was frustrating how no answers would come out of that man, whether she tortured him or married him.
But for the first time, she could change something else.
Carynne stared at Nancy. Her expression betrayed her discomfort, but it didnt seem like she would betray her.
Carynne thought of the numerous pasts where she died by Nancys hand, killed Nancy, or when they talked. Stories emerge only after such pasts.
But I didnt know Id be this confused from the first day.
What should I do, Milady?
Carynne decided to speak to Nancy.
Last time, she told Nancy to say exactly that there was a coin. Then this time, she must make a different choice.
Dont send any answer to Dullan. Just say you dont know. Theres nothing in my hands. Got it?
Yes, I understand.
Nancy nodded. Carynne felt slightly relieved seeing her reaction and turned her gaze back outside the window.
It was still early spring. The start of the season when nothing had sprouted yet.
Maybe things would be different starting from this point. Everything changed when she started killing.
Then, how should she live this time?
Last time, she tossed a coin to choose between good and evil, but what path should she take this time?
She already decided to live more leisurely, but thinking about how the coin might have originated from Dullan made her feel suffocated.
Still, Carynne decided to carry out what she resolved in her past life.
Nancy, as I said earlier, if there are any remnants of the gold coin left, you can have it all.
Really?
Even amidst this, Nancys voice carried a hint of joy. Carynne chuckled.
Yes. It might be hard to get its full value since it melted in the fire, but its still worth its weight in gold.
Okay But why do you do this? Youve never done this before.
I told you already. Ive lived several times.
Ah, yes You did say that. Anyway, Im happy.
Thats good.
Carynne sat, propped her chin on one hand, watching Nancy smile with anticipation.
This life seemed to be quite interesting.
Dullan had been planning everything for a long time. But ultimately, he was bound to fail.
This hope was akin to certainty.
This time, I want to try living kindly.
Carynne thought about the gold coin she threw into the fire. The coin was unnecessary. It was distorted and destroyed in the fire. The choice was hers. And Carynne resolved as soon as she had opened her eyes in the garden.
Falling in love makes you brave.
Really? I feel rewarded for diligently reading those romance novels for you.
Yes.
Carynne nodded.
Truly.
Carynne intended to live kindly.
For her knight, who shone brighter than gold.
Those who say walking together in hell is romantic are defeatists. Love isnt like that. Its not about getting lost in a novel togetherits about wanting to give a better life for the other.
Now that Raymond had come to her, Carynne wanted to give him back his life.
* * *
Stop here.
The place Carynne arrived at was an old bakery, also serving as a mill. It held a bit of power among the villagers. To Carynne, it seemed a very small influence, but for those at the very bottom, it was a place to wield some swagger.
And here, there was someone she wanted to look for.
Why come to such a place?
The coachman asked in a bewildered voice from behind. Carynne shrugged and simply said, Just a whim. Nancy also didnt seem pleased with Carynnes choice, but ultimately, it was Carynnes decision.
Wouldnt it be better to visit somewhere else? How about buying a new ribbon for your hat, Milady?
Lets stop here first and then go.
Alright. But I dont see a reason to visit here.
Maybe buy some bread?
Then a mans voice was heard. He had been sitting in the drivers seat and followed Nancy and Carynne out.
Its a waste of money.
Borwen stepped down from the back of the carriage.
Lady Carynne, I dont know why youre visiting this place, but this bakery doesnt produce good bread.
Carynne looked at Borwen, Dullans underling, feeling a bit tense. He had killed her several times recentlyall because she had killed Dullan.
Borwen said he was thoroughly on Dullans side after owing him a debt. Unlike Nancy, he wasnt someone she could negotiate with.
Whether it has taste or not, Ill decide.
Milady.
But even so, he wouldnt do anything to her now. He had done his best to clean up after her when she committed murder. It should be fine as long as she wouldnt kill Dullan.
Carynne stood firm, and eventually, Bowen stepped back.
Milady, youre awesome. That punk of a footman keeps acting all high and mighty with me too, you know? Even though hes just a servant.
Nancy whispered. She seemed quite pleased that Carynne ignored Borwens opinion. They didnt get along well, to the extent that they wouldnt hesitate to chop each other up after death.
But dont fight too much with Borwen. Itll be your loss if it turns into a fight.
Milady, do you really think of me, your dedicated maid and one with abilities, on the same level as a mere footman? I feel underappreciated.
You know you get beheaded after death? I killed you last time, but it was him who chopped you up so passionately.
But it wasnt something Carynne could discuss with Nancy.
Wouldnt it be better for you to watch and learn from Donna when youre with others?
Donna You mean the laundry maid, Donna?
Yes. Her. She seems to get along well with others.
How can you compare me to that pathetic girl.
Carynne sighed softly and moved forward. It seemed Donnas strengths only emerged in critical situations.
Not that she wanted to meet Donna again. Speaking to Nancy and speaking to Donna were entirely different matters.
But Carynne felt a roughness in her mouth as she remembered Donnas round face. It was an emotion she had felt before. A deep sense of defeat, realizing that past lives do not return.
But this too shall pass with a few more repeated iterations.
Hadnt she experienced it several times already? Relying on others, receiving reciprocation, accomplishing feats. Even with all these events, its all wiped away as shed return to the beginning again.
No, its okay. Even if others couldnt remember, there was one person who could.
As Carynne moved forward, Borwen went ahead to open the door.
Jingle.
As the door opened, a plump man sitting at the counter inside hurriedly stood up. He looked bewildered to see such out-of-place customers.
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