QT: Don't fall in love with the Male Lead

Chapter 82: Don't lose control

Li Siqi confirms that she let herself be caught, as Xi Zirui assumed but her reason for doing so is a little bit of surprise.

"This disciple thought that being a prisoner would be the easiest way to infiltrate Blood Crane sect."

Xi Zirui nods, grimacing through the fire running down his spine. "And why did Siqi think that would be necessary?"

She lowers her head, as if about to admit a great personal failing. "This disciple wasn't able to find sect leader."

How? Didn't she follow them out of Heavenly Dragon's sect grounds?

Li Siqi anticipates Xi Zirui's question. "This Disciple heard the Blood Crane disciples's gloating about abducting sect leader undetected, as they threaded through the Woods of Grief, and followed after them."

Her brows furrow in confusion, as if she is still trying to make sense of the events that followed.

"I sneaked into their carriages, but I was unable to find any trace of sect leader during the whole journey to this village. At one point the convoy stopped and the carriages stayed behind. This disciple wasn't able to follow."

"Siqi thinks they hid sect leader during that diversion?"

She shrugs. "I think the only way to find sect leader will be in Blood Crane's grounds."

"Well, now we have one of their Masters, and a disciple unconscious, I'm sure their retainers will be happy to take us into custody."

"There might be an easier way," Li Siqi says, just as the painful heat climbing up Xi Zirui's spine nearly sends him to his knees.

---

He refuses to tell her what's happening to him, for fear of dying of embarrassment. 

She doesn't probe further, and goes about setting her plan - risky as it is - in motion.

Li Siqi approaches the still slumbering Ji Limei and with a quick flash of hands delivers a pinch to her neck accupoint which renders her deeply unconscious, unlikely to wake any time soon and ruin their plans.

Han Yu wasn't exaggerating. Li Siqi really has turned into a formidable fighter. The way she's able to almost melt into the shadows and slink around like a cat on the silent pads of her feet is impressive.

Xi Zirui just wishes he had enough presence of mind to praise her and maybe increase her admiration, instead of having to coordinate each step to prevent his legs from giving out.

He follows her back into his and Han Yu's room, where she delivers the same blow she did to Ji Limei to a glaring Bai Mi and wide-eyed Liao Min. 

She rummages inside a pouch tied to her sash and takes out a thimble-sized vial. She unstoppers it under Han Yu's nose, who comes awake with a wheezing gasp.

"Shijie?" he asks, as soon as his glassy eyes focus on the figure in front of him. Looking behind her shoulder he spots Xi Zirui bracing himself against the wall, curled up in himself. "Shizun, what-"

"We don't have much time, help your shijie."

Xi Zirui would ask Ni Ni how long he's expected to handle the terrible effects of the aphrodisiac, but he isn't sure if he wants to know.

Han Yu's eyes follow Xi Zirui's erratic movements, but Li Siqi snaps at him to hurry up.

She draws two talismans using some of the blank paper Xi Zirui and Han Yu brought. One of them she sticks to Bai Mi's chest, the other to her own chest.

Holding up her joined hands in front of her face she goes through a series of hand seals Xi Zirui can't even name, let alone reproduce.

He can only watch in shock as her appearance starts to morph and shift, until her features are completely replaced with Bai Mi's, and Bai Mi's with hers.

It's hard to try and school his face into a mask of impassivity in the face of something so incredible, but somehow he manages, reminding himself he's a respected grandmaster who has seen it all.

Han Yu takes a few talismans out of the pile Xi Zirui brought and sticks them to Bai Mi and Liao Min's bodies.

They float a few cun off the floor, hovering after Han Yu as if pulled by an invisible thread.

Li Siqi nods towards Han Yu. "Do the same with the other one in my room, and then cover their faces." To Xi Zirui she says. "Shizun and Shidi should wear a veil and follow my lead."

---

Li Siqi's plan is very straightforward. 

She'll change into Bai Mi's clothes, and pretend to be her when approaching the Blood Crane retainers.

That part goes smoothly enough, the three men guarding the two carriages don't even bat an eye at the unconscious bodies floating behind her.

But one of them does notice Xi Zirui listing awkwardly against Han Yu's arm.

"Is young miss feeling well?" he asks, trying to make anything through the dark veil Xi Zirui is wearing.

Thankfully not noticing that both him and Han Yu are much taller and broader than 'Bai Mi', unlike her actual disciples.

Li Siqi snaps at them. "What's it to you? Ready the horses, we're leaving at once."

Her voice isn't as musical as Bai Mi's, but she can affect some of her arrogance believably enough that the retainers lower their heads and take their posts on the carriages.

Li Siqi climbs into one of them with Bai Mi and Liao Min's body, leaving Han Yu and Xi Zirui to climb into the other with the unconscious Ji Limei.

As soon as the carriage's thin door closes behind him, Xi Zirui pulls the veil off and loosens the collar of his robes with a breathless gasp.

Han Yu's eyes dart over to the exposed sliver of skin below his collarbones, before looking away in embarrassment. 

"Is Shizun going to tell me what's happening to him?" he asks, after removing the floating talisman from Ji Limei's body and letting her drop to the floor at the far end of the carriage.

Is he?

That's a good question. Xi Zirui feels himself burning up as if someone has stuck him in a pot of water and has been stoking the fire ever since. He worries what will happen when the water comes to a boil.

The wetness sliding down his thighs is as disconcerting as it is alarming, and completely inescapable. 

He looks at Han Yu and knows what would make him feel better. Finally, put away the fire threatening to swallow him whole.

But he doesn't want to put that kind of responsibility on Han Yu, not when it's too soon to tell if he would be doing it out of genuine desire or because of a misguided sense of duty.

"This master miscalculated the dosage of the antidote to Blood Crane's sleeping draught, and is..ah, suffering the consequences." 

He bites his lower lip to prevent any shameless moans from escaping when the next wave of tremors hit him.

It seems the aphrodisiac's effects are growing stronger, and he has yet to have some time alone to handle matters himself.

This has to be some kind of punishment for an unknown karmic debt.

"If there's anything Shizun needs, this disciple will do everything in his power to help."

A loud, almost wild laugh escapes Xi Zirui, before he can cut it short and turn it into an awkward cough.

Han Yu has no idea what he's offering.

And how hard Xi Zirui is fighting himself not to take him up on it, anyway.

He shakes his head and closes his eyes in silent dismissal. Hoping that not seeing Han Yu's sculpted features and worried eyes will alleviate some of his symptoms. Allow him to regain some semblance of control.

It doesn't.

Xi Zirui only realizes he's shivering when his head starts thumping against the carriage's panel.

He's burning up and freezing cold at the same time.

What the fuck kind of evil aphrodisiac is Ni Ni's shop stocking?

"Answering Host: Aphrodisiacs are meant to be used during sexual intercourse. Which Host is not doing," she says, almost offended at the implication that the system shop would offer anything of low quality.

Xi Zirui is in no shape to argue with her.

He feels like his brain is being slowly steamed like a dumpling. He's going to end up with dumplings for brains and it's all his fault.

He might giggle a little to himself, making the concern etched on Han Yu's face increase by several degrees of magnitude

He gets up from the bench across from Xi Zirui and takes a seat next to him. "Shizun, please tell this disciple how he can help."

Xi Zirui gives him a bleary look from beneath his trembling eyelashes, trying to steady his shallow breathing enough to speak. "Hold...hold me."

He doesn't know what makes him say that, but the moment Han Yu's strong arms wrap around his waist and pull him against his chest, some of the unbearable heat abates.

A swim in the river after a scorching summer day - that's the only thing Xi Zirui's can compare having Han Yu's steadying presence behind him at a time like this.

He can't help turning his face into his neck and breathing in his refreshing minty scent, with just a flowery hint of haitang preventing it from being too medicinal.

It reminds Xi Zirui of all the times he's spent cradled in Han Yu's arms like this.

He's filled with such a sense of rightness and belonging that for a moment, his heat addled brain almost convinces him this is what fate feels like.

That finding home in another person's arms is what having a soulmate is all about.

He wants so badly to tip his head backwards and brush his lips against Han Yu, to offer himself up like a drink he can sip as much of as he wants.

He wants to climb onto Han Yu's lap and tear the robes from his frame like a wild animal, gnash at his smooth skin and leave him covered with marks. Proof of Xi Zirui's ownership.

He wants to watch his eyes go wide and disbelieving as he sinks into Xi Zirui's body, overcome with pleasure.

Xi Zirui wants so much that he thinks he's going to choke with it.

Han Yu's arms grow tighter around him. "Shizun is shivering so much, I don't know what to do."

He looks down into Xi Zirui's eyes and finds them reddened and filled with tears, the beauty mark beneath his left eye stark against the pallor of his skin.

He wets his lips. His gaze never leaving Xi Zirui's.

Xi Zirui follows the path of his red tongue over his smooth pink lips and it's all he can do not to moan aloud.

"Don't let go, just, don't let go of me."

Han Yu pulls Xi Zirui into his lap, folding him against his chest as if he weights nothing.

"I won't, Shizun, I won't," he says, rocking Xi Zirui back and forth as if he is a child having a nightmare. Then, almost pressing the words into the back of Xi Zirui's head, he whispers, "Now that I have Shizun, I'll never let go."

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