Pursuing My Rejected Alpha

53 Goodbye, Alpha

Whether he remembered, the Alpha asked.

A strange light flashed across Lucien’s glassy eyes, taking him on a journey through the memories of their adolescent romance.

Ronan would never know that these memories kept playing themselves before Lucien’s eyes while the latter lay on his bed and suffered through the pain.

So how could he ever forget?

It was indeed during the Moon Goddess Celebration Event seven years ago that they first laid their eyes on each other and succumbed to the forceful attraction that only fated mates had for each other.

Those who saw the two young alphas rolling on the ground on top of each other would have thought that they were engaged in a fight.

Thankfully, no one saw them.

The two young alphas breathed heavily in between kisses, the sound of their pounding hearts was louder than the music that came from inside the temple.

Ronan was completely immersed in lust. He only had one goal in mind, and it was to make Lucien his. He tore at Lucien’s white robe to expose his scent gland, intent on marking him. Lucien barely managed to break away from the clutch of desire and shove Ronan away.

.....

Even then, Ronan had innocently asked him, “Why?”

Why are you pushing me away?

We are fated to be together.

Our wolves scream for our union.

You are mine and I am yours.

Back in the present time, Lucien merely closed his eyes for a while to get rid of the sentiments of the past. When he opened his eyes again, he was the cold and ruthless Lucien again. The one who told Ronan that he no longer wanted to stay together with him.

And that Ronan should reject him as compensation for Lucien’s sudden change of mind.

Ronan had never changed.

Be it seven years ago when they first met, when they started dating, when they broke apart or now, he still longed to fulfill the fated mate connection that the Moon Goddess personally established between the two of them.

Alas, Lucien was not able to accept Ronan’s outstretched hand. He did not deserve Ronan’s devotion and love.

“I guess you no longer remember,” Ronan chuckled, more at himself than at Lucien. His fingers raked through his inky hair, messing up the neat slick back hairstyle.

Lucien did not have any intention to correct Ronan. Misunderstandings would only help Ronan reach closure faster. If Lucien had to be the villain, then so be it.

“Lucien, just what did I do wrong?” Ronan asked, his voice trembling from desperation. Lucien clenched his jaw.

You did nothing wrong.

“Have I not been sincere in my love for you?”

Yes, you have.

“You said you wanted to be an Alpha, and I did what you asked me to do.”

Yes, you did and I thank you eternally for that.

“When you suddenly disappeared and left the Alpha position for your cousin, to be honest I was overjoyed.”

A wild glee danced in Ronan’s eyes. “I know that I was a complete asshole for being happy over your misfortune, but Lucien...”

Ronan gave Lucien a bewildered look.

“I thought that it was the Moon Goddess giving us another chance. If you have long given up on your ambition to become an Alpha, you... Why didn’t you come back to me?”

Lucien furrowed his brows and pursed his lips. He was unable to answer.

Ronan, you have only seen things from your own perspective. There are so many things you know nothing about. The deal with Mr. Dane Silverback, your father, was to sever the relation completely. It was never about my ambition to become an Alpha at all.

“I was so happy when I found you again. Lucien, although harsh words were exchanged between the two of us, have you never once thought about becoming mine?”

I did and do not dare to.

“Lucien, I kept thinking that you are being forced into this situation. I kept trying to give you a way out but you never replied to me. Lucien, tell me the truth. Are you... Are you in love with Kinnon Youngshaper?”

No...

I never was. I never am. The only person in my heart has always been you, but don’t you understand, Ronan? We can never be together! It doesn’t matter who I end up with. It will never be you!

“Lucien, talk to me. Say something. Tell me that you need help and I will take you away from here, the packs be damned.”

Lucien shot Ronan a sharp glare.

“Those are words that are unbefitting of an Alpha,” he chided the Alpha in front of him.

Ronan broke into a burst of desperate laughter.

“Is that all you have to say to me? After I pour out the whole content of my heart to you?”

Lucien used up every ounce of self-restraint in his body to prevent himself from doing the same.

“Yes. I have nothing else to say.”

Lucien turned around to leave, but Ronan grabbed his hand and stopped him from leaving.

“Lulu...”

Ronan sounded desperate.

Lucien inhaled a lungful of fresh air.

“... Let me go, Ronan.”

Ronan refused to let go. He squeezed at Lucien’s hand instead.

“Lulu, is this how we are going to end things? Is this our final goodbye?”

Yes, Ronan... This is our final goodbye.

Tears came streaming down Lucien’s face. He prayed with all his heart that Ronan never pulled him back to look at his face.

“Yes,” Lucien confirmed, trying hard to sound as normal as possible.

“Oh.”

Lucien squeezed back at Ronan’s hand. That was the only thing he could do for Ronan.

“Goodbye, Alpha Ronan Silverback. May the Moon Goddess bless you with the greatest blessings on earth.”

Ronan let Lucien’s hand go silently. He had anticipated this ending, but he never knew that it would hurt so much to look at Lucien’s back and send him off to a marriage with another man.

“Goodbye, Lucien Clearwater,” was all he could choke out after a while.

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