Playboy Cultivator in the Apocalypse

Evalyn sat at her desk with her chin on her palm. She hadn't slept more than five hours a day in the last four days.

—

Uncle: Can you help with the inquiries? I don't have answers to most of the questions they're asking.

You: Heh. And you think I do? That's cute.

Uncle: Aren't you dating?

You: Are you mad? I haven't seen him for four days because he's sleeping with rich wives left and right! Why would you think that?

—

Evalyn threw her phone on the bed in protest and rested her head against her desk.

"Heh. That jerk didn't even text me about the faction, and Uncle thinks I have answers?" She scoffed in annoyance, "What a joke."

Her phone went off, and she took a deep breath. She ignored it and went online to see if there was anything new.

Despite her best efforts, she shot up from her position and typed in the URL for Yanko. It was her "job" to read comments to find clients.

-----

Emperor Starts Wife Watering Service, Offers for His Services Explode

Views: 98,991,283 | +48,283,178

Date: June 12th, 2032

Willis_Makes_It: The dude's wife literally said he "watered her." Dead. | +3,821,237

— Shut_Up_Garden_Gadget: People hated on me so hard when I said these women were thirsty. | +298,921

—— Lisa_Whitham: People are hitting like because they agree that people hated you. That hasn't changed, tool. | +428,893

— LizZard: The emperor's identity exposed: He's Baba Yaga's husband and offers his fountain of youth. ;) | +13,001,283

…

Cackling_Hyena: I bet the offers will hit ten digits. | 2,182,772

—— Anonymous: They already have. Ivanka Rhodes offered to sell all of her stock in Wyndham Entertainment to make it happen, but the stocks in the company tanked immediately, and now she's broke af. Lol | +2,382,192

——— Usher_Weds_Her: She started begging, and two thousand people reported her for harassment. | +1

———— Rampin_Up: Finally. Be gone thot. | +1,281,298

-----

"The guy acts like he used to love me but then leaves every woman satisfied by me." Evalyn laughed in self-deprecation.

"I used to think it was age. I probably look like a child to him, but now this?"

She closed her eyes.

"Charming me and then giving me this job make a dick move. I'm going to sleep!" Evalyn protested while opening her eyes and preparing to shut her browser.

Despite her best efforts, she continued scrolling.

"Why do I always do this?" She chuckled while scrolling, "It's like I'm a masochist now."

-----

Emperor's Estimated Value Soars to Over a Billion in One Week After Only Five Clients, Secures Another Six Billion For Following Days

Views: 21,283,831 | +11,382,173

Date: June 13th, 2032

-----

The Emperor Announces He's Starting a Cultivation Faction. Says Money Isn't a Barrier

Views: 3,821,382,187 | +837,283,110

Date: June 14th, 2032

-

DeadChimp: Is this story real? | +253,531,218

— SweetNSour: It is. He announced it during a testimonial video.| +138,281,831

…

Ingrid_Reed: I'll believe it's free when I see it. The guy's bleeding rich people dry right now. | +193,283,827

— TrickedSilly: Yeah, that's why he doesn't need money. | +56,287,812

—— Aleena_Mays: Lol. | +33,983,178

OnePact_Global: One Pact is offering anyone with information about the emperor's identity $31,000,000 | +123,837,138

— Dragonnade: Two words: Scrawn Fu | +569,283,827

—— Kamora_Coleman: Who else? There has yet to be another person instantly transformed after cultivation began. Everyone else is making tiny fireball videos. | +101,382,838

——— Gorillax: Scrawn Fu is being compared to the Wifescaper. What a legend. | +299,999,999

— Anonymous: Who's stupid enough to sell out a man that powerful? | +88,827,182

—— Ben_Bailey: When an anonymous poster says something's sketchy, that's how you know it's stupid. lol | +182,281,378

-----

Breaking! Emperor to Post Mystery Cultivation Technique Online; Says It's The Ticket to Faction; Emphasizes No Exceptions

Views: 6,283,281,382 | +1,232,111,092

Date: June 15th, 2032

Nayeli_Gates: I'll believe "no exception" when I see it. | +802,281,997

— ViciousOrange: The guy's getting paid a billion a job to sleep with rich men's wives, leaving them satisfied and younger afterward. Yet you still don't believe him? | +488,281,283

—— Chimpantzer: Does no one care he's giving out unique Earth-grade techniques like they're water? | +315,938,821

PixieDreams: A cultivation school that doesn't require money but leaves out the 99% of people that didn't get a cultivation technique. Figures. | +683,281,382

— Carlos_Petersen: He hasn't even posted the *free cultivation technique to the 99% of people that didn't get one, and people are already complaining they won't get in because they're not talented enough. | +283,827,283

—— Anonymous: You act like rich people won't spend millions on tutors. | +159,288,171

——— Bryant_Downs: This proves it. No matter how much people get, socialism is still the only answer. Lulz | +27,827,283

Ape_in_hard: I'd bet my paycheck it's a "dual cultivation" technique for only women. | +662,182,838

— Zoe_Jefferson: I hope so. | +381,283,781

—— TheTrickster28: At first, I thought this guy was a legend. Now I'm just jealous. | +552,382,811

BeautyDuty: I will practice that technique day or night until I master it. | +112,283,283

—— Harem_Hunter69: You just want to sleep with the guy. | +88,283,178

——— BeautyDuty: Obviously. | +583,183,187

-----

"Hah. No exceptions, eh?" Evalyn giggled, "He's even going to make me work to get into his faction. I'm going to shove that in uncle's face."

She picked up her phone, prepared to counter his dating claims outright. However, when she opened her texting app, she stared at the message he had sent in disbelief.

—

Uncle: Aren't you dating?

You: Are you mad? I haven't seen him for four days because he's sleeping with rich wives left and right! Why would you think that?

Uncle: Why else would he name the faction Immortal Skye? While I sell the faction as a partnership, I assure you he didn't do that on my behalf.

—

Evalyn stared at the screen in disbelief, opening and closing her mouth, trying to find the words to say. "He said he'd spend a thousand years with me…."

Her eyes fell still as she stared at her phone blankly. An unknown amount of time passed before she snapped out of her daze.

"Who was I to you, Kaze?" She asked the empty room before shutting her laptop.

No matter how hard she thought about it, she could never figure out that riddle. According to the emperor, her past self was violent and rude to him.

While he might enjoy that, his mood always shifted when he spoke about her. It didn't feel like she was by his side to the last minute, present until the second that he left the fifth plane.

Now she got an even greater hint: Immortal Skye.

Evalyn felt the faction's name symbolized she'd live this time.

"How long did I live before?" She whispered, "To an immortal, a millennium could feel short. I killed thousands of people to get a Celestial Technique. That's lower than ancient, but how many years did that take? Centuries? Millenia?"

She shook her head. "I'm not going to get answers, but I do need to take a shower."

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