Chapter 3
I had the lingering regret of not being able to see the ending of the novel. This was my chance, my quest!
The body will always reset to square one no matter what I do, but I’m pretty sure that I can improve myself mentally. Then… I can become strong.
It was despairing to live in a world alone where the same day keeps repeating. Dalia’s body was that of a severe alcoholic. Her hands trembled unless she took up drinking again. Even if I stopped drinking now, her body would return to the same state every day.
“Oh, this is a terrible body. This is useless.”
When I get out of here, the first thing I do is stop drinking and fix this trembling. I have to hold onto my sanity till Kaichen arrives. Learning something is the best way to focus the mind and keep oneself distracted. It wouldn’t be bad to try things out to find out what I am good in.
***
My eyes blurred. How long has it been? My resolve that I had at the beginning of being newly possessed started dwindling. Learning something is indeed the best way to spend my time. But how long can a human being go on doing it?
10 years? 20 years? It becomes easier if someone else is around to share the burden. But how long has it been for me like this?
The sky was clear, and people passed by me smiling. I leaned half-heartedly against a wall and looked at the flowing stream. How I wish to be swept away…
But that wouldn’t still kill me. The current was low, and the water too shallow. I sighed. I had so much time at my hands and an adamant wish to build on my skills and abilities. But too much time can bore a person into despair. It was just too overwhelming to handle.
What was even the use of making a list like, ‘help complete the novel by making Julius the emperor’, if nothing was ever moving? I tried and failed to get out of Acrab and the terrible day just kept repeating and making me mad.
My hands started to tremble. I picked up the familiar wine bottle and gulped the liquor down. I was terribly free with all the time in the world. I was bored to death and lonely.
I thought someone would come and put an end to this.
“When are you coming to save me?” I yelled and threw the empty bottle into the stream.
The woman at a small distance, doing her laundry, glanced at me and whispered. I didn’t care. The young people of Acrab passed by the bridge, shaking their heads. No matter how hard I tried, they only saw a drunk woman walking around with a wine bottle.
What is the point of being a Count? I don’t have any respect, credibility or even trust. What is the point of holding a high authority? I don’t even have money. All I had was that fancy, large mansion that was almost breaking down into disrepair.
“What are you looking at?” I shouted at the whispering people around me, like a drunkard. I stumble as tears blurred my eyes. I composed myself and got my footing.
How long has it been? A hundred years… I was around a hundred years old.
“The f*ck! A hundred years? How am I supposed to endure this? Screw them! Screw the main character! Screw the so-called wizard!” I yelled, ignoring the glances of the people. I never used to swear. Whenever I did, my friends would always chastise me for doing it.
However, right now, I could beat up anyone who would approach me and urge me to stop swearing. Who the hell cares? My life is over! I knelt on the ground and cried. Nothing ever changed in this world. Everything remained the same. Crap! Please… someone… I will do anything…anything! Get me out of here!
Prayers didn’t matter. No one heard. Even when I prayed earnestly up at the sky, my eyes were only burned by the dazzling sunlight. I have done this every week, but no one even remembered it, except me.
It would be better to be a ghost. But how was this different anyway? I looked up at the sky. When will this end? Will the sky darken, and these dark days would end? Will the crescent moon, that has been the same for so many years, finally become full again? Did I destroy the original novel at the time when I was possessed? Why isn’t anyone coming to save me? These endless questions filled my mind.
I sighed and lowered my head. I walked with slumped shoulders and staggered drunkenly forward. Even when I tried not to stagger, the body would reset to however it had been, and drunken demeanor was the default. But my mind was sharp and focused. It was as though my mind and my body were two different, separate beings.
With my mental faculties trained for hundred of years, no alcohol made me feel dizzy or drunk. This was all thanks to the hundred years of boredom where I stole all kinds of liquor from the land to try.
“Huh?” The crescent moon moved. I rubbed my eyes. I thought I had imagined it. I looked at it again. The crescent moon was really moving. As I looked, the moon became distorted, and cracks began appearing in the sky. “No way…!”
I couldn’t stop my body from trembling. I wondered if it was just an illusion created by my mind in my desperation. So, I rubbed my eyes, closed them for a while and looked again.
A cold drop of water fell on my cheek. It wasn’t a dream, delusion or hallucination! One drop fell after another through the crack in the sky. Eventually it began to rain for the first time…
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