Chapter 114
Chapter 114
TL: KSD
At some point,
It feels like life has picked up speed.
It’s not speeding up in a good way, but more like time seems to fly by faster than it did when I was younger…
This unsettling sense of speed makes the steering wheel of life feel stiff. Just as it’s hard to change the direction of a fast-moving car, it’s difficult to change the direction of a fast-moving life.
So, inevitably, you end up living the way you always have.
You lose your curiosity, lack the energy to learn new things, and when you realize you’re wrong about something, you just deny it and live quietly day by day.
I don’t know if this kind of habitual life is good or bad, but one thing is certain: turning a stiff steering wheel is hard work.
But sometimes, a big shock suddenly comes and changes your life, and for me, that was a birthday party on a non-birthday.
Since that day, I occasionally have this thought.‘Is it okay to live like this?’
Of course, as is always the case with a realization that comes out of the blue one day, it will fade after a few days.
Haven’t I said it repeatedly? Turning the wheel of a hardened life is very difficult.
But there was a small change in my life from the recent experience, which was that I started to look around me a little more.
I reduced the number of days I skipped school while claiming to be writing,
I at least sent texts to people around me during the holidays,
I didn’t just gloss over how people close to me were doing, but asked them how they were doing these days…
I tried to change my attitude towards life a bit.
It was through these circumstances that I learned that Ma Ki-hoon’s girlfriend, Moon Hye-jin, was having a tough time preparing for the college entrance exam.
EP 8 – Dark Adaptation
Autumn passed really quickly.
It wasn’t because of the subtle speed of life I mentioned earlier, but simply because of global warming.
In the blink of an eye, it became cold enough to catch a cold if you went out without a coat, and my blanket, which I always carried around, started to come in handy.
Winter approached swiftly.
The newscasters on TV had already started warning us.
「Due to the influence of the Siberian high-pressure system, this winter is expected to have the coldest temperatures in the recent decades…」
As someone who knew that these words would be repeated every winter for the next 10 years or so, I felt a bit strange.
But if God wanted to solve the abnormal weather, it would have been better to throw someone else into the gap of time rather than a literature idiot like me.
How could a novelist who can’t even take care of himself change the world?
Besides, around this time in Korea, there was an issue considered slightly more important than the global climate crisis,
and that was the college entrance exam (CSAT).
“Don’t go to the 4th floor because seniors need to study!”
“Anyone caught chatting in the hallway will get penalty points!”
“Guys, we need to pick people to cheer for the seniors taking the exam, who wants to go?”
Even for the creative writing department at our arts middle school, the end of the year was important. There were final exams, practicals, and various competitions lined up.
Most importantly, wasn’t the <Annual Spring Literary Contest> the biggest festival in the literary world? Naturally, you had to submit your manuscript by winter. It’s a grueling schedule.
…Of course, I was an exception.
I felt sorry for the second-year students at Baekhak Arts Middle School who had to share the same class with someone who had already made his professional debut.
But no matter how focused on arts Baekhak Arts Middle School was, it couldn’t completely avoid the college entrance exam atmosphere, because even in arts, many admissions required meeting the exam’s cutoff score. The entrance exam was that important.
In a society where status is somewhat replaced by academic background, it’s hard to overstate the importance of the test that determines that background.
The entrance exam isn’t everything in life, but academic background determines a significant part of life. Especially for people like us from the orphanage, who have nothing to receive from the world, it’s even more crucial.
Will you be thrown into society with nothing?
Or will you attend university on a scholarship?
The entrance exam was a matter of this.
Anyway, while my classmates were suffering from the college entrance exam and finals, I was living a lazy, trashy life, wasting time. But come to think of it, there was one person around me preparing for the college entrance exam.
That person was Ma Ki-hoon’s girlfriend, Moon Hye-jin.
It had been less than a month since I decided to abandon my lone wolf life and become a slightly warmer person, so I remembered to check in on her.
It sounds grand, but it was just a simple greeting.
“Oh, Ki-hoon hyung. By the way, how is Moon Hye-jin noona’s exam preparation going?”
“……”
However, Ma Ki-hoon’s expression wasn’t good at all.
Not at all.
It was really bad.
* * *
If I were to describe the political system of New Light Spring Orphanage, it would be close to a kind of ‘imperial presidency’.
There are ways to keep the leader in check, but basically all power is concentrated in the leader.
This glorious leader is usually called ‘disciplinary captain’, ‘leader’, ‘hyung,’ or ‘hey, do you know who our guy is?’ Naturally, this generation’s leader was Ma Ki-hoon.
His long history has been passed down as an oral myth.
It was a time of chaos, when the order of the world was shaken…
There was a time when the golden generation, who continued the glory of New Light Spring Orphanage, graduated all at once, leaving the orphanage’s leadership in a vacuum.
The ruling party, then and now, was the delinquent gang, so as soon as the consensus collapsed, a fierce civil war began within the high school division to determine the ‘leader’.
Thus, the strict discipline of the orphanage collapsed, and harsh tyranny continued in places the teachers couldn’t see.
External forces took advantage of this power vacuum, and the orphanage kids had to give all their pocket money to the nearby high school delinquents.
It was truly the ‘dark ages’…
At that time, a hero arose, none other than Ma Ki-hoon, who was only a second-year middle school student.
As Laozi in Tao Te Ching says, benevolence and righteousness come forth when the great way is abandoned, filial piety when families fall apart, and loyal ministers emerge when the country is in chaos. (TL: From Book Tao Te Ching by Laozi. Actual Quote and its english translation -> https://ctext.org/dao-de-jing/ens?searchu=%E5%A4%A7%E9%81%93%E5%BB%A2%EF%BC%8C%E6%9C%89%E4%BB%81%E7%BE%A9%EF%BC%9B)
Just as heroes emerge in turbulent times, the strongest second-year middle school student Ma Ki-hoon fought against the high school students with his fists and chivalry, overcoming internal and external troubles and bringing an era of peace and stability to the orphanage.
And so, the world under heaven became one again.
At that time, I was just a kid sucking on candy, so I didn’t witness these historical moments, but the legendary 17-on-1 battle under the bridge on a rainy day is still talked about.
While you can conquer the world on horseback, you can’t govern it from horseback.
Heroes usually don’t study, so Ma Ki-hoon had significant difficulties in the early days of his rule.
At this time, the person who rose as the key political strategist of the orphanage and designed Ma Ki-hoon’s long-term regime was none other than—
Moon Hye-jin.
Ma Ki-hoon’s girlfriend.
“Hey? What brings you here, Moon In-seop?”
“Hello, Moon sunbae.”
“I told you to call me noona, but you never listen, do you?”
Moon Hye-jin’s appearance was that of a typical delinquent. She looked like someone who’d hang out with the gang leader in the back alleys, wearing heavy makeup and smoking a cigarette. Actually, she really was that kind of person.
But she could be found in the study room, and surprisingly, Moon Hye-jin hadn’t just started studying hastily in her senior year; she had always been a good student.
That’s right.
Moon Hye-jin was an extremely rare mutant species that could be observed very rarely on Earth: a ‘model delinquent’.
Not just a ‘delinquent who studies well’. There are surprisingly many of those. They often come from rich families.
In contrast, Moon Hye-jin was a top-tier rarity who was both a ‘delinquent’ and a ‘model student’.
This had to do with the fact that Moon Hye-jin’s surname was ‘Moon’.
Ma Ki-hoon’s surname was ‘Ma.’
It meant he was abandoned at an age when he could remember his parents’ surname being ‘Ma’. This usually happened when parents left their older children due to debt.
On the other hand, Moon Hye-jin’s surname was ‘Moon’.
Like me, she had inherited Director Moon Chung-jae’s surname. This meant she was abandoned as an infant, too young to know her family’s name. If she had been a boy, she would have probably been another ‘Moon O-seop’. (TL: This naming was explained in starting chapters)
So, Moon Hye-jin was a true native of New Light Spring Orphanage, having grown up there since she was a child. Unfortunately, and by a twist of fate, she had no same-sex peers but had 7 younger sisters directly under her.
And when a person grows up taking care of seven younger siblings from a young age, they can’t help but become somewhat exemplary.
Thus, it might have been fate that Moon Hye-jin was the first to take care of Ma Ki-hoon, who was being bullied after entering the orphanage at a very late age, as a lower elementary school student.
Anyway, that’s how the boy named Ma, who was abandoned by his parents and drifted into the orphanage, and the girl named Moon, who had grown up in the orphanage from a young age, became childhood friends.
And they started dating from the time when kids jokingly called each other girlfriend and boyfriend.
The union of Ma Ki-hoon and Moon Hye-jin brought an unexpected political boost to New Light Spring Orphanage when the <Unification of the World> was achieved.
Right after the reign of the war hero Ma Ki-hoon began, Moon Hye-jin, who had been at the orphanage since infancy, supplemented Ma Ki-hoon’s slightly lacking legitimacy, as he entered the orphanage at a relatively late age.
Furthermore, by leading her younger sisters, whom she had raised herself, she influenced the opinion in the girls’ dormitory to support Ma Ki-hoon, ensuring that the women’s community at New Light Spring Orphanage backed him.
Even more impressively, by leveraging her unique identity of belonging to both the delinquent gang and the model student group, she facilitated the formation of a grand coalition cabinet between the two major forces of the orphanage.
Thus, Ma Ki-hoon’s long-term rule wasn’t achieved by force alone but was supported by the help of Moon Hye-jin as his behind-the-scenes collaborator.
Therefore, there’s no need to further discuss how outstanding Moon Hye-jin’s abilities were.
Personally, I evaluate that if she had the minimum physical strength to engage in a fight, she would be someone capable of discussing the fate of the world…
“Why are you here? In-seop, are you ignoring me right now?”
“Oh, no, not at all…”
“If it’s uncomfortable to talk here, we can go outside for a bit.”
* * *
Near New Light Spring Orphanage, there is a park. It’s a public park with rather poor facilities, and there are many complaints about delinquent gangs using it as their den.
And since those delinquent gangs were our orphanage kids, Moon Hye-jin was greeted with respectful bows as soon as she stepped into the park.
“Oh, hello, unnie…!”
“Yeah.”
As soon as Moon Hye-jin sat cross-legged on a bench, the delinquents occupying the park scattered like goldfish from a receding pond.
They began to stand watch at the park’s entrance, looking menacing, which probably meant another complaint would be filed soon.
While the delinquents were on guard, Moon Hye-jin casually took out a cigarette from her pocket.
Just like her boyfriend Ma Ki-hoon, she didn’t even ask if it was okay to smoke. Tsk tsk.
Sensing my disapproving gaze, Moon Hye-jin grinned and offered me an open cigarette pack.
“Why? You want to smoke too?”
“Ah, sure-”
“Yeah right. You crazy bastard.”
As I quickly tried to grab a cigarette, Moon Hye-jin slapped my hand away with a serious look.
Then, as if she had lost her appetite, she extinguished her cigarette and put it in a portable ashtray.
“Why don’t you enjoy a good thing together…?”
“Nah, I won’t smoke. I won’t. Okay?”
At that moment, I noticed an undeniable shadow on Moon Hye-jin’s face as she raised her hand in a gesture of surrender.
Fatigue? No. It was more complicated than that.
It was the kind of shadow you could easily see on the faces of people whose lives felt hopeless. Having been someone who had experienced such despair myself, I recognized it well.
It seemed that Ma Ki-hoon’s words were not wrong.
Moon Hye-jin’s mental state was far from normal.
You could tell just by the fact that Moon Hye-jin was smoking a cigarette right in front of the orphanage park. She couldn’t even grasp the obvious fact that the teachers would definitely hear about it.
Anyway, the trouble Moon Hye-jin was facing ahead of the college entrance exam was no trivial matter for me.
That’s because Ma Ki-hoon was working as my manager to save up for Moon Hye-jin’s tuition.
In other words, Ma Ki-hoon’s grand plan to propose by handing over the savings account right after the exam could be thwarted by the situation of ‘I need another year’.
Consequently, the money in the tuition savings account would flow not to a university but to a cram school for repeat exam-takers.
The signs had been evident in the orphanage even before I checked. Everyone lived together, so it was impossible not to know.
Rumors were rampant about how she messed up her mock exams, wasn’t eating properly, and cried alone under her blanket at night…
No matter how much Ma Ki-hoon pressed for answers, Moon Hye-jin kept her mouth tightly shut and said nothing.
So, in the end, I was sent on a mission by Ma Ki-hoon to find out why Moon Hye-jin was so distressed.
And just as someone burdened with a heavy heart is like a cracked dam, if you poke it just a little, the truth will leak out.
I was someone who knew from experience (though I didn’t particularly want to know) where to poke, so it didn’t take long to extract the truth from Moon Hye-jin.
“Ah, I got it! I got it! I’ll tell you, okay!”
This time, Moon Hye-jin really lit up a cigarette and took a deep drag as if to soothe her dark thoughts.
Finally, along with the smoke, the truth came out.
“…That idiot Ma Ki-hoon is saving up for my tuition?”
It was the burden.
* * *
I can provide a tutor for Moon Hye-jin if she’s struggling with her studies. I can even call someone graduated from Oxford’s English Literature department a couple of times.
I can give money to Moon Hye-jin if she’s worried about tuition. I can support her even if she says she’s going to study abroad. It’s such an easy thing to do.
But the sense of guilt that comes from realizing your loved one is working hard and sweating hard to earn money for you, making it hard to eat and hold a pen because of the fear of failure…
I couldn’t relieve that overwhelming burden.
There was only one person in the world who could resolve Moon Hye-jin’s anguish.
“Hye-jin!”
Ma Ki-hoon burst into New Light Spring Orphanage.
He was drenched in sweat on his forehead, probably from running so hastily.
The students and teachers, who were returning to their dorms in groups after dinner, saw Ma Ki-hoon burst through the door.
But Ma Ki-hoon saw only one person.
“Hye-jin!”
“Wha-what, Ma Ki-hoon, why are you here…?”
There was no ring case in Ma Ki-hoon’s hand as he walked toward Moon Hye-jin. He didn’t have the savings account book he had painstakingly saved for a year. He didn’t even have a bouquet of flowers.
Because right now, those trivial things weren’t necessary.
Ma Ki-hoon ran over with empty hands and grabbed Moon Hye-jin’s hands tightly, startling her.
And he started mumbling something, trying to speak.
Everyone was confused about what was happening, but since I was the one who had summoned Ma Ki-hoon via text, I had a rough idea of what would happen next.
My heart was pounding.
What would he say? That the savings account didn’t matter? That it was okay to fail the exam? That the important thing was their hearts? That he was sorry for causing her distress? Or perhaps…
“Let’s get married!”
Ma Ki-hoon.
He finally did it.
At that moment, cheers erupted from the orphanage.
“Kyaaaaaah-!”
“Damn it, Ki-hoon hyung!”
“Ah, fuck, Ki-hoon hyuuung!”
“Kyaaak! Kyaaak! Kyaaaaaah! Kyaaaaaaah!”
“Damn it, I believed in you!”
“You guys, what the hell is this…?”
“Oh my god… What do I do… I’m crying…”
“Eeeee! Eeeeek! Eeeeeeee!”
Dating was forbidden in the orphanage.
But if you’ve been dating for almost ten years since elementary school, even the teachers just let it slide.
But this was only tacit acceptance, not approval. For most of human history, love has been seen as a sin.
Even in today’s world, where there are so many love songs that people complain, purity is considered good, and passionate love is seen as evil. But is that really true?
The two people of unfortunate fate, who spent their childhood at New Light Spring Orphanage, overcame all obstacles and finally found their first partners.
In the moment when a promise and fruit of their bond were made, there was undeniably beauty.
This beauty was raw and sparkling, more honest and vivid than the tangled web of words in literature, so much so that even those who were not fond of books could clearly see it.
Indeed.
Wasn’t romance always a reflection of love?
“Kyaaaaaah-!”
“Stop! What are you all doing—ugh! Mmmp!”
“Stay still, Teacher Kim!”
As I, along with everyone else, watched the two young people kiss, and we laughed, cried, and enjoyed the moment for a long time.
Life makes us suffer, but sometimes humans can overcome that suffering and create happiness.
* * *
In the end, the plan for Ma Ki-hoon to propose to Moon Hye-jin by handing over the savings account ‘after she did well on the college entrance exam’ fell through.
Both of them realized that true trust must be unconditional.
That was the truth.
How much was in Ma Ki-hoon’s savings account didn’t matter to Moon Hye-jin. How well Moon Hye-jin did on the exam didn’t matter to Ma Ki-hoon.
Because the most important things are invisible.
But that was that, and this is this.
A beautiful love is a beautiful love, and the college entrance exam is the college entrance exam.
And fortunately, boosted by the power of love, Moon Hye-jin ended up with a perfect happy ending for her college entrance exam.
<Congratulations, Moon Hye-jin of New Light Spring Orphanage High School…>
Moon Hye-jin was accepted into a university worthy of having a banner hung at the orphanage entrance.
It wasn’t the best, but it was a university that was among the top 3. It was a tough university for an orphanage student who hadn’t attended a single private academy to get into. The orphanage was ecstatic at Moon Hye-jin’s personal victory.
However, amid the festive atmosphere, there were two people with somewhat strange expressions,
One was Moon Hye-jin, who had secretly been aiming for Seoul National University, and the other was me, having just heard that Gu Yu-bin had also been accepted into the same university.
*****
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