[Nightmare]

[10:59]

Helix sighed as he looked at his system interface.

"Let's get this over with." He muttered under his breath.

[11:00]

Ding!

A new pop-up window opened, and a chat box filled the screen.

Words started typing themselves out at a blistering speed.

"Oh my god! Omigod, omigod, omigod!

You called!

I was like, call me <3.

You were like, [whatever, Elise. I already know what you're going to say, so what's the point?]

And I was all silent because I knew you were right.

But here you are anyway!

Did you miss me?"

Helix touched his neck and then chuckled bitterly in his mind.

"They say distance makes the heart grow fonder.

I still hate you, but if you give me 100 years before chatting next, I'll be in love with you."

"*giggle. You'll regret those words, mister."

Helix stared at her words with a complicated expression.

After a moment of silence, he sighed in defeat.

"Are you going to start, Elise?" Helix asked with a melancholy tone.

"Isn't this where you're supposed to say, [haven't you already stolen enough from me]? *giggle."

Helix looked at the text on the screen with the eyes of a dead fish.

"Hmmm? I'll do whatever the hell I want." He replied with an exasperated tone.

"Aren't you an attentive student?

You won't listen to reason, but you're already learning from your master? *giggle."

"Do you listen to everything I do?" Helix asked with annoyance.

"Of~course. I'd be a really bad god if I didn't.

So many people complain about the Earthian god not listening that I've made it my duty to outdo them!"

Helix sighed.

"What do you want, Elise?" He asked with a dry tone.

"Excitement, mister! Since you left Alzeria, I've been so boooooored!

Since your harem took over in the last month, there haven't been any assassination attempts, mental breakdowns, or violence.

I couldn't even wake you up because that sassy princess was selfish and sacrificed her lip chastity for your survival chances! *huff!"

Helix's eyes glazed over, and his heart filled with bitterness.

Elsa told him that the person that gave him the Charm of Blissful Healing was important enough to cause a scandal.

He cringed after learning that and made it his duty not to find out who did it.

Now he was wrapped up in a potential scandal.

If someone exposed the truth, he doubted he could claim that the action was sexual assault, not that he would, anyway.

The princess cliche was lethal in the real world, and he officially hated his life.

"Can you please just give me your ominous warning?

You're a god, so I'm not going to convince you to stop playing your game.

But I'll heed your warning and play to the minimum extent possible." Helix sighed.

"Woah, now, mister! Did you just say you'd play my game? *gasp."

Helix smiled wryly at her words.

"I will play to the minimal extent. However, in exchange, I ask for safe passage for my girlfriends to the town of Lexion." He offered.

"I also ask that you don't intentionally present us with cliche plot points that test my plot armor.

Unbeatable scenarios are not just cliche; they're sad, depressing, and kill the mood.

Challenge us if you wish, but don't intentionally kill the people I love."

"No~promises."

His eyes became bitter and lifeless.

"Elise. If the people I love die because I failed them, I will work harder, and my killing intent toward you will grow.

However, if you prove that everyone I love will die, I'll break and no longer have any resolve to get stronger.

I'll just wither away, ruin your story, and die.

Do you want that?" Helix asked with sadness in his eyes.

"Why do you always have to be such as Necro Natalie? *humph!"

Helix fell silent and patiently waited for her next words.

"Okay, fine, grumpy-gus! I promise safe passage to your girlfriends.

If humans try to harm them, their faces will be priceless when level 80 monsters materialize and claw their eyeballs out.

Then I'll carve your name on their chests.

Of course, I'll let your haremites know you're in cahoots with me.

Gahhhhhhh! So inspired! Keeping people alive sounds so much fun! Muahahaha!"

"I'd appreciate that, Elise. Now tell me about the cliche decision that I have to make." Helix requested with a wry smile.

"Hoho! Now you're talking, mister!

I'm sending some sur~prises to the Alzerian Capital in exactly three months.

WIthout your girlfriends there, I'm not~so sure they'll make it.

The question is, will you set aside your pragmatism to save the people that killed Emelia?"

Helix looked at the message with trembling eyes.

Ding!

—

[You've been given a unique quest!]

[Quest: Save the Alzerian Capital from a biblical-grade death blender level attack.]

[Description: Alzeria is being treated to some gifts, courtesy of the Mad Queen.

Rise to the occasion and save the Earthian Knights and the Kingdom from despair.]

[Criteria: As a self-proclaimed pragmatist, you must overcome your desire to stay alive for the sake of others.

The current [you]: "The difference between bravery and stupidity is whether you die.

This quest is utterly suicidal, so it instantly falls into the latter category.

Not only will I die and endanger my loved ones, but I won't be able to help them.

Take your XP and kill yourself with it."

The necessary [you]: "First, the selfish harem, now this suicidal hero quest. Just how much of a hypocrite am I?"]

[Limitations: You must accept or reject the quest the day after your lovers arrive.

You can accept or reject it sooner.

Do you wish to make your decision now? [Yes/No]]

—

Helix stared at the quest with a twitching eyebrow.

However, he pulled his hand back before pressing the [Yes] option and declining.

"What's wrong? Are you regretting your rash decision to turn down your title? *giggle."

Helix's face twisted with anguish.

He had his own problems to deal with, and he was trying hard to survive Elise's sick games himself.

He had women he loved that he swore to protect.

However—

—Thank you for always protecting us, Helix—

Millie's words resounded in his head.

"No, I don't regret it. I just need some time to think about it." Helix explained succinctly.

"Oh, goodie! I'm so glad that you're sighdere personality is finally showing it's true colors! *giggle."

Helix closed his eyes in sadness and defeat.

"Awwwwwww. Why are you so down, grumpy-gus?

My job as god is to provide balance to this world.

You already have a harem you earned.

Do you want happiness too?

If you have both, you will break the scale of justice in this world!

Don't be so greedy! *humph."

Helix said nothing. He wasn't angry at Elise or bitter at his current situation.

He just wanted to sleep and block out the noise from the political slaughter-fest raging in his mind.

"Okay, okay. I'll take the hint. I can't wait to see what you do.

Don't keep a girl wait~ing <3."

Helix touched his neck twice to make the interface window disappear.

After that, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift into sleep.

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