Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

815. 14 Years Ago – Innocence

Jury remembered seeing light before she knew what darkness was. She remembered her tiny hands reaching towards the skies as she laid on a bed of snow, curled up with her fluffy tail.

There were no stars in the sky. Pink whisps of clouds sailed above. She fondly remembered the warmth of the sunlight.

A pair of human-shaped hands curiously grasped at the clouds.

Yes. Jury remembered that child-like innocence. She truly thought she could grab those clouds.

But that was because no one told her that she couldn’t.

Jury lived years like this. She hunted small animals with her bare hands and feasted on them raw. She didn’t know any better. The lands of green grass, yellow sands, and brown rock sprawled in the great distance, but young girl was fond of the snow because it matched the color of her hair.

She was free here. Nothing tied her down, nor did she have any ambitions. Jury recalled the feeling of the wind blowing against her skin. Every day was the same thing, but she never grew tired of it.

However, a part of her had always wanted to talk with humans. Jury was aware of how strange she looked, and how different she was to them. Even species that looked similar to her were bound to show their disgust.

Furthermore, she knew what people did to those with white hair.

“Hurt… Not want.” Jury would repeat to herself to rationalize her loneliness.

Her words were broken, as expected of a child who had never interacted with another soul. Still, she did her best to learn how to speak. It wasn’t done by just talking to herself or a snow man she built, but with another person she faintly recalled.

[???]

“Don’t they look like cotton candy?”

 

A gentle, innocent voice was carried by the wind. Fragrance of roses cascaded over the young Jury. A thin, feminine hand entered her vision and reached for her head.

“Cotton candy?

 

Jury didn’t know what this word meant. Her avian ears flapped as a large shell was plucked free from her head. Slime dribbled down her cheeks. It coated every inch of her hair, but Jury was far too intrigued by this ‘Cotton Candy’.

Sitting beside her were the remains of a giant shell she had long broken free from. The slime was permanent, and she remembered the woman calling it her cerebrospinal fluid.

[???]

“It is candy made from sugar. They look like giant balls of cotton. It’s a favorite snack for many children, be it humans or Demi-Humans. A sugary treat is loved all the same.”

The voice giggled. It was a motherly, vibrant laugh that felt warmer than the sun. Jury was defenseless, but this person never harmed nor tried to hurt her. Just like her, they had white hair, although parts of it were black.

Jury struggled to remember the color of her eyes.

[???]

“You’re drooling again. Why is it that anytime I talk about food you always become hungry?”

 

[Jury]

“Because lady bring tasty food. Always.”

 

Her face was also blurred to her. The morning sun blocked out those features. Not even her mind could begin to fill it in. The woman wore an apparel that no one wore in this world. It was an oversized, white coat – an apparel that looked so foreign that Jury couldn’t help but always ask where this lady was from.

[???]

“The same place where you came from. But I came from the common man a long, long time ago when our skies were fixed at twilight. That tree never used to be so large.”

 

Jury’s eyes naturally fell towards the pale pillar in the distance. It dominated the skies, and no amount of imagination could enable her to fathom just how enormous that pillar was.

She felt like that place was where she belonged.

But how could that be?

[Jury]

“No wings. Have feathers. But can’t fly. Why? I’m not like the birds?”

 

Jury envied the morning birds. How they would fly as a flock of dozens. They were a flock of a feather, but Jury had none of her own. The woman reached down to tap her nose, finally revealing faint pieces of her face until a pair of beautiful azure eyes stared down at her.

It was like staring up at the afternoon sky without a single cloud to be seen. The glimmer in those blue eyes felt like there were stars to be found, and it radiated a warmth just like the sun.

[???]

“Birds were born to learn how to fly. People like us can’t fly to the treetops like them. But we can do things they can’t. Still, desires and fascination of what we lack makes us dream.”

 

[Jury]

“Is thinking about flying wrong?”

 

[???]

“No. Neither is it strange.”

 

[Jury]

“Hm. But I have feathers.”

 

[???]

“So did many people who came before you, but they could never fly no matter how hard they tried. People were exposed to them superficially. But in their hearts, they knew that they couldn’t fly.”

 

The woman, however kind she was, held a whimsical tone as though she had seen it all. Her wealth of knowledge kept Jury entertained for days and nights, most of which being about the kinds of food this world had to offer.

[Jury]

“Why do you call that a tree?”

[???]

“It used to be a tree. It still is, but we can only see it for what it is on the outside. Another featherless girl would call it a funnel.”

 

[Jury]

“More people like me!?”

 

[???]

“Mhm. But not all of them will get along with you. Some will hate you. Some will struggle to love you from the bottom of their hearts.”

 

Her words saddened Jury. One of her worst fears was being hated. But beneath it was her underlaying fear of loneliness. Jury didn’t know many people. She simply imagined speaking to the people she saw as she hid behind trees and shrubs.

This one person, who she didn’t know the name of, was her one and only company throughout her early years. But she didn’t know why they looked after her, or if she wanted something.

Jury’s mouth opened.

Then, the woman spoke as if anticipating the contents of her words.

[???]

“I once asked a girl – just like you – a question about the birds. ‘Why do birds fly?’. She never gave me an answer. She would only listen to my words like a child. Hm. Do you know why birds fly?”

 

Jury thought long and hard for an answer, but alas, she came up with nothing but a look of dejection.

A warm hand stroked her head, brushing away the snow and slime. The woman’s hand formed a ball of light that cleansed the filth; a type of power that Jury knew belonged to the people with white hair.

But Jury did not have this kind of power, which further fueled her sense of alienation.

[???]

“One day you’ll come up with an answer of your own. When that day comes, I’ll be there to listen to you. Then, I’ll tell you my answer, and maybe that girl’s.”

 

Still, this person stayed by her side, and as if sensing Jury’s woes, spoke tenderly again.

 

[???]

“If you ever find yourself hating yourself, or hating the world, then stop for a moment to look around you. The world is larger than what you perceive. Change can be frightening for people.”

 

[Jury]

“But won’t people want to change?”

 

[???]

“Some people do, but there’s a right and a wrong way. I believed it was a necessity. A hand that reaches should pull out someone or something from a person when they need it the most. The children I looked after, the ones born from the base of that tree, could change people into whatever shapes they wanted.”

 

[Jury]

“Still a tree to you?”

 

[???]

“People I knew called it the Pillar of the World. But for me, I called it home.”

 

[Jury]

“Like a house?”

 

[???]

“Like a secret hideout~ But…”

 

A look of regret washed over the woman’s face. It was the first time Jury had seen her make such an expression.

[???]

“The things we did beneath it, and the beliefs we perpetuated polluted the Rivers. The roots that took place that day drank from the same River until it dried up.”

Then, her normal expression returned as she then set her sights to the Nexus.

 

[???]

“Little old Evelyn, Adam and Lilith believed in the same dream of human wholeness. Hah. Mm… But I still believe that humans should be given a choice to fish out who they are.  You’re a special child. You’re one of the last to come from that tree. One day you’ll return to it.”

 

[Jury]

“But I thought change was bad and scary?”

 

[Evelyn]

“Change is inevitable. That girl promised to show people the way like a star, so that they could live in this world in absence of conscious suffering. Tell me, what is salvation to you?”

 

[Jury]

“I don’t know.”

 

[Evelyn]

“You will know one day, and that line will be drawn for all to see.”

The memory faded to nothingness. Jury didn’t remember what happened afterwards, but she knew that she didn’t see Evelyn again after this. The woman who would appear and disappear mysteriously was the one person she found solace in.

And with her gone, Jury set her sights from the snow towards the Nexus.

However, her aspirations were cut short.

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