Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

754. Ruminations of Red and Fallen Gold

Frost showered in the blood of the Ferris wheel.

She stood on a small platform in the center of a divot directly beneath its remains. The walls of the divot were meters high, and blood from other attractions trickled down like scarlet streams.

She did not care that she was soaked in blood, or that it had welled in her boots. She had been standing there ever since the Heart fell. The Heart of the City was nothing special. It was ill defended like the Memento Mori.

One could easily say that it was because the Impuritas were stationed elsewhere. But Frost interpreted it as a provocation. It was an outlandish thought because they could not have known she was coming. But even so, Frost couldn’t help but feel this way after seeing so many reduced to such a miserable state.

No amount of exposure could ever get her used to seeing the ways that humanity could be stripped from people.

As the machines and foot soldiers of Caldera Industries left, she contemplated the misery of it all again.

“People from the Derma Layer don’t even know what’s happening to them, or why they have to live that way. It’s all they know, huh.”

Her eyes and golden strands of hair were the only thing untainted by the blood. She eventually stepped off from the platform and sank knee-deep into a sea of mixed blood. [Cleanse] removed the stains from her body, but she could still feel it cling onto her skin.

She was calm despite how she felt. Her violent outbreak was nowhere to be seen, but the same emotions were present. Her blood boiled beyond belief, but she was able to control her emotions as of recent.

Still, seeing all of this…

< You are close to manifesting the First State >

< You may manifest the Second State too if you are not careful >

< Perhaps even the Third State >

… it made her furious.

“I should get out and start healing them. There are thousands from what I’m hearing over the CognitO Receivers. Finding them all will be too time consuming… I really don’t want to leave them behind with nothing, but we’re so close to getting this war underway.”

Frost spoke to the air as a way to release her pent-up frustrations. She smeared blood across the idol-like Red Baron and the Ankou’s face. Then, she dipped them into the bloody lake, letting them blow bubbles as she ruminated on this.

“The fact that I haven’t hit the First State must mean something, right?”

“Tempering. It’s when a person is able to control their emotions up to a certain State.” Nav explained, likely hearing an explanation from Lailah. “I’m surprised that it didn’t happen sooner. I haven’t detected any other major changes. Neither does Lailah know if you’re actually Tempered or not. How do you feel?”

“We’ll have to wait and see. Doesn’t change how I feel. It’s more like… how I express it. It’s not pushing me around like it usually does. I honestly think Corrupting in front of the Arbiter’s made it easier for me to keep my head straight.”

She could feel a spiteful hand tug at her heart. It undoubtedly belonged to the Unfair Tale.

< The Unfair Tale desperately seeks to overtake the First State >

It yearned to be manifested, but Frost refused with a steeled heart.

“For now, at least.” She added, pulling the heads from the blood and reattaching them to her hips. “Impuritas have their own breaking point too. I don’t expect the Red Baron to understand it, but what about you – Ankou? You hate that you can’t have a proper body, but you’re aligned with the Blood Festivals.”

“We are only allied until our wish is granted.”

“But you realize that your wish might never come true. That belongs to the Heart that owns you, not you.”

Afterwards, she leaped from the sides and climbed to the top of the divot. She scoured the world without moving her head thanks to her omnidirectional vision. Many slug-people wandered onto the streets, sliding on top of one another as they blankly explored the ruined world with innocent eyes.

They poked and headbutted those who grieved, and tried to pat the heads of those who lamented their losses like it was the most natural thing to do. Frost approached a small group of them.

“Look at them. Is living forever worth being stuck with the unfulfillment of what you consider being ‘alive’? Is this the kind of world you want?”

“They are still here. That is what matters the most – AAAAAHHH–!”

A searing pain coursed through the Ankou moments before his mind shut down. As a being that was immune to pain, he would not be used to it when it suddenly came back. As a result, the pain that normal people could endure was intolerable to the Memento Mori.

Nerves merely limited what one could physically feel.

But there was no limit to what the soul could suffer that Frost was aware of.

“There’s no getting through to an Impuritas stuck with a Heart, huh.”

The slime people gathered by her legs. They poked, touched and grabbed at her with frail hands. Some were out of envy for what they had lost, whilst others were curious as to why she had legs that weren’t like jelly.

“What’s the plan after this?” Cer suddenly asked behind Frost.

In her hand were the crispy remains of an Organized.

“We’ll see if Ignis can help them.” Frost began as she cast [Corporeal Restoration], [Area Healing], [Grand Healing], [Cleanse], and [Cure Disease].

Some were thankfully brought back to normal. A few grew secondary limbs over their slime-like lower bodies, requiring Frost to kneel down as she uttered a small and sincere: “I’m sorry. This’ll hurt a bit.”, before hacking their lower halves off.

As quickly as they were chopped off, a pair of proper legs grew in their place. However, not all of them could be healed this way for one reason.

Their souls were already morphed into the shape of their bodies. This was a born defect; a mutation that stemmed from the offspring of those who already lost their legs. Basically, they were born with this condition because of their parents’ condition.

They were not Impuritas.

They were still very much human, or whatever race they originally came from.

“They’re not Demons, so Ignis can replace their legs with whatever they want. The issue is that they’ll need to be recorded as a precaution.”

“A precaution? You mean Healers need to start asking if they have some kind of condition before they start healing?” Cer crossed her arms. “Sounds like it’ll slow Healers down.”

“For only a second. That’s how we used to do it in my world with people and allergies. Healing magic will only make things worse. They’ll have normal limbs, but the moment they’re Healed then their slug-like bodies will regrow.”

“That puts regular Healing potions out of the question too.”

“Exactly. But on the bright side, there’s quite a few that haven’t been fully turned into Impuritas. They’re just… yeah, whatever you want to call them in this state. Healing magic will give them their bodies back.”

The slug-people from the Derma Layer did not know why the ones from the Bellum Empire were so thankful to the Amalgam for giving back their bodies. They were like children. If one cried, then they’d copy them. Seeing humans act so docile like they were livestock saddened her to no end.

She wished she could hug them all. They’ve probably never felt the warmth of another person before too, if all they existed for was to be harvested day and night.

“We don’t have the luxury to take care of them all.” Cer barked.

“I’m aware. But that’s why I want to manifest the First State. That way we can keep a hundred personnel here to watch over them. My Unlying Tablets can do all the healing.”

Frost was determined to manifest the Listening Bird. No amount of interference from the Unfair Tale would sway her. Her hatred was not enough to send her in a blind rage.

Cer walked up to Frost. Hands reached out to her legs as well. Normally, Cer would stomp on those hands and call them filthy, but here, she allowed them to indulge themselves.

“Aren’t you a bit too calm to be entering the First State?”

“It feels like it, huh?”

“Heh. You’re becoming like me!” Cer blurted out. “Feels like you’re starting to understand how to control your emotions! About time too! The First State used to be your: ‘Aaaah! I’ll do whatever it takes to destroy them!’, but nope. Finally got used to it, hah!”

It certainly did feel that way. The more Frost healed these people, the closer she felt to manifesting the First State. The only way she could describe the sensation was being pent up, like she was fuming or ruminating strongly on an emotion; like a tidal wave that ran beneath the sea.

The surface would seem calm, but underneath the waters were moving at a dangerous speed.

Frost could sense that Cer was controlling her emotions too. There was nothing stopping them from reaching Diavola now. The next time they saw the Impuritas, Cer would have to face Raoul again.

It clearly ate at her mind, but not the point where she displayed signs of angst.

Frost ran a hand through her hair as it suddenly grew past her shoulders. It ran down till it touched her lower back. Glistening strands of gold could be seen sparsely within her black hair behind. Her bangs at the front reached past her nose, covering her eyes until she brushed them aside.

< The Will of the Amalgam Has Reached the First State >

< Manifesting the Listening Bird as the First State >

She manifested the Listening Bird on the spot without much emotional turbulence. The last time she properly manifested a State was when she fought the Icon of Judgement in Paradise.

Crimson symbols appeared over her body. They trickled down her apparel far less chaotically than usual.

< Successfully manifested the Listening Bird as the First State >

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