Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

666. The (False) Saviour

Elysia, The Voice From Beyond the Void reached into the depths of Cer’s heart. She arrived in her darkest moments, pervading the sanctum of her inner mind. She wore pristine, white robes that fluttered like wings.

They were woven in a way that caused them to vibrate in tune with her ticking heart. Tiny blue clocks appeared and disappeared along those pale robes, and they emitted a similar faint light as her empyreal eyes.

Night turned into day as a golden iris formed on the moon. Low-altitude clouds hung overhead, and the mountains disappeared altogether. The lake stretched on endlessly, transforming into a mirror of the world.

The movements of Elysia did not disturb its surface. Her toes hovered atop the water as though she was weightless whilst Cer sank to her ankles, bound to this very place.

“Are you tired of running towards things that are still so far away?”

An expressionless Cer then answered, her gaze falling from the false sun to her shimmering reflection.

“I don’t know. But I know that I’m stuck between two different phases of the moon.”

There, still beside her, was the moon of the other world.

“Running? Yeah. I’ve always been running. Chasing after things that are still out of reach. Muddied paws scraped against the dirt. Claws broken and feet leaving bloody trails. Thirty years later, and they still getting further and further away.”

Elysia’s hands slithered over Cer’s shoulders, but she never made contact. She gracefully paced around the tiny wolf, her hair twirling around her like ribbons, and her pristine, pale tail waving hypnotically at the tune of Cer’s heartbeat.

“Tell me why you want to break away from being eaten.”

“It took this long till a person like Frost saw through my shell. It has never made sense to anyone. It was born from my friends being eaten. It transformed throughout my life, becoming another part of me.”

Cer’s reflection began to change. At first, she was the small Cer from over thirty years ago, bloodied and bandaged with ragged cloth.

“My attention and atonement.”

Then, it shifted to another blood-soaked Cer, only this time that blood did not belong to her. Entrails and skull fragments littered her suit as forests and villages were burned down. Thousands perished by Cer’s own two hands.

“My rampage to bring their eyes onto me. I chased after Raoul to become closer to him. If he saw the brutality that I could cause, then maybe he’d look my way. I was a fool. My taste was bitter. The distance grew larger. Since then, Raoul has never looked my way. I still don’t know the truth. All I can ever do is speculate.”

A post-Serum G Cer was then reflected. It was the Cer everyone knew and did not love.

“The bitterness and desire to become something sweeter. If only blood could be as sweet. I tried to be more palatable. It was an obnoxious drive spawned by this need. I became a Jester and dragged my sisters with me so that we could be seen. We stayed together… Yes… We remained together for thirty years because of Serum G. But now…”

Finally, an image of her sisters formed in the reflection. Their backs were turned to her. Her legs sunk further into the lake, her knees now trapped as she reached towards them and the moon of the other world.

Her desperation was palpable. Every breath was a fight for her life. Cer’s emotional state, though unstable, was at a lull like the calm before a storm. Her shadow grew into a ball around her. The skies darkened as something deeply repressed emerged from the depths of Cer’s heart the further she sank.

“… I’m stuck wondering what phase of the moon is the one that they’ll stare and watch. My village could not bear to taste who or what I was. They chose to please their palates so they could live in that blissful lie. I could never cover my eyes or shut my ears, so I left my mouth to hang open – in this world of deaf ears.”

“Do you think chasing them will bring those times back?”

“I’ve been running on all fours ever since. No amount of chasing has changed it. Raoul is ever further away. By being tastier, my sisters were able to be eaten. They were brought closer to someone else’s heart because they did not smell like an unwashed dog. I, an oversalted mut, am unpalatable.”

Demonic snarls came from within the reflection. The shadow of Elysia continued to eclipse her, despite Elysia now wandering the mirrored lake, her hands held behind her back. Cer stared into the memory, looking down at a petrified Cer as bones, limbs and the blood of her friends rained from a canopy of man-eating plants.

“Cer… Run… Away…!”

*Crunch*

*Squelch*

“Those plants did not belong to Grandis. I only later found out that they were introduced from Spiritas. Humans and Elves brought them into this part of the world. Puritas filled our mountains with them. All so that we could cook in the melting pot we called home.”

“What do you see in the depths of the mirror?”

“An unwanted ingredient. An unwashed rot smothered in mud, screaming to be eaten only to be cast away.”

“Is that what you think of yourself?”

Cer paused. Her lips opened, but no words left her lips. It was as if a moment of clarity had struck her. The lake had consumed her knees. Moving even just an inch required all of her strength. It slowed her. Running in this medium was impossible. It would better to call it a soup than a medium.

A proper place where an ingredient like her truly belonged.

Cer marched onwards no matter how much her body would have rather she surrendered to the flow of the lake.

“No. That’s not right. Elysia… That’s what I used to think.”

A hand lifted towards her heart, and there, she felt a faint warmth that caused her eyes to briefly widen. She felt the presence of Frost. The light of the rest of the lake existed beyond the shadow of Elysia, and the greater part of herself.

Even beyond the moon that sat as her ultimate object of aspiration. She could feel it guide her. In her heart it felt like she could sense a hand reaching out to her.

But Cer did not take it.

She just followed the light as her body was wrapped in shadows.

She followed what made the most sense to her.

“Tell me. What do you see yourself as?”

“Nothing yet.”

Elysia stood at the twilight of the shadow of the eclipse and the realm of light, standing before Cer with pitying eyes.

“Even though you will be swallowed by waves of the world without a form to protect your sense of self?”

“I can grant you a way to ease the pain and embrace the maelstrom that could not love you.”

“To make it so that the world can love you.”

“An appetizing ingredient…”

“It can be what you wish.”

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