Chapter 2: Her Before Confessing to a Highschool Boy (2)
Chapter 2: Her Before Confessing to a Highschool Boy (2)
TL/Editor: looloo
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"Yes. The legs are rehabilitating─ recovery... no guarantee─"
I couldn't quite hear what the doctor speaking with my parents was saying. I wasn't sure whether it was due to anesthesia or painkillers, but I didn't feel any immediate pain.
But it was impossible to move my body on my own.
In the hand mirror that I had to repeatedly nag my usually playful brother to hand over, my face, bandaged and tinted yellow as if oozing pus, was reflected.Th.ê most uptod/at𝓮 n𝒐vels a/re published on n(0)velbj)n(.)c/o/m
"......"
It was a silly thought, but I wondered if this was punishment for having lived so comfortably.
My peaceful life and good looks were the reasons I had felt my life was so easy and comfortable. But now, the smiles have disappeared from my family's faces, and half of my face, which had received so much praise for its beauty, was crushed. Even walking on my own was impossible.
Everything was ruined.
With strength drained from my hands, I put down the mirror and blankly stared out the window. Meanwhile, the doctor, my parents, and my brother were saying something to me, but nothing entered my ears.
How much time had passed?
When the sunlight became so intense that it was difficult to look outside.
"...Heena."
Yeonho had arrived.
Probably my brother had contacted him. We had exchanged faces and phone numbers several times.
But even though I had wanted to see him so much as soon as I opened my eyes.
Now, I couldn't bear to turn my head.
After we started dating, he said that he liked not just my face but also my straightforward personality, playful nature, and so on. However, the fundamental reason he liked me was because I was beautiful.
So I was scared.
Scared of him seeing my current appearance, even more than me.
With that in mind, I couldn't bring myself to look at him and silently shed tears.
"Were you... in a lot of pain?"
At his voice asking that while carefully embracing me, I could no longer hold back.
"Sniff...it hurts...my...legs...don't...sniff...don't move...and my face..."
At his voice.
At his warmth.
As I sobbed and spoke, unable to turn my head, Yeonho didn't force himself to look at my face.
He just held me.
"It's okay. You will get better. I overheard a bit of the conversation earlier, and they said your legs could move sufficiently with rehabilitation.
So don't worry. I'll always be by your side."
My boyfriend, who made me feel more comfort than excitement, more liking than love.
Yeonho, instead of saying anything more, just quietly held me.
I was so grateful to him.
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Raei Translations
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The subsequent months of rehabilitation that followed were far from easy.
My body, my legs, wouldn't move as much as I anticipated, and the pain in my heart outweighed the physical discomfort I was enduring. My friends and university seniors and juniors, with whom I used to hang out, would visit me in the hospital, express their concerns, and then leave the room with a smile.
The number of people I could see afterward dwindled, now countable on one hand.
Whether there were events or not, my phone, which used to be filled with new messages, was alarmingly quiet. Except for a few close friends and Yeonho, communication disappeared in an instant.
I didn't think it was wrong.
It was admirable that they maintained contact with me, even though we didn't interact deeply.
However, the fact that most cut off communication right after their hospital visits...
It was enough to unsettle my heart.
I knew.
That most people became friends with me thanks to my pretty face. It wasn't wrong for them to approach me like that, nor was it wrong for me to take advantage of it. I easily made friends and just as easily, they left.
Seeing my distorted half-face...
Even though I accepted it...
I knew what it looked like, but it still hurt.
To the point where I wanted to die right there and then.
If there was a reason why I couldn't die right then, despite wanting to, it was because of my family who tried their best to smile in front of me.
And.
"Heena! Oppa is here!"
"What do you mean 'oppa'? Did you listen to the lecture well?"
"Uh, it was super boring. The homework was ridiculous..."
Thanks to Yeonho, who visited me every day, even if just for a minute.
It had been several months since the accident, since I was allowed visitors. Yeonho visited me daily during those months.
Despite the fact that he was alone, in his second year of college, and had entered a prestigious university which was stressful due to its demanding curriculum.
He kept coming.
At first, I tried to hide my emotions, but now I showed my resignation as he faced my hideously distorted half-face.
"Oh, by the way. Do you remember Jung Yoonsung? He came with me. We planned to have dinner later."
"Your high school classmate?"
"Yeah, you're right. He's waiting outside, so I let him be for a while."
"He should have come in."
"He's quite shy around people he doesn't meet often... He was uncomfortable the first time he saw you."
"Ah...right? I remember he ran away when I suggested we hang out."
I eagerly opened my mouth, not wanting to miss a single word of the trivial conversations we had daily.
I wanted to remember my boyfriend's voice, who came to visit me even at the end of visiting hours, just a bit longer.
The futile rehabilitation exercises I did all day.
My unstable mental state caused by the sudden disappearance of people.
During the moments when Yeonho visited, I could forget everything.
"Ah, I came too late today."
"It's okay. Thanks for coming... Go quickly. Your friend must be waiting."
"I know. You have rehab tomorrow morning, right? I'll come a little earlier tomorrow."
I wanted to tell him that he didn't have to come every day, that he could take a break for a day, but I just couldn't bring myself to say it.
Because he was my salvation.
Yeonho's bright smile that stood out even before we started dating, had become a treasure I couldn't live without.
I feared I might cry if I couldn't see it even for a single day.
"Okay. See you tomorrow."
"Bye~"
The sound of his footsteps gradually fading away.
I stared at the door of the hospital room he left from, then slowly began to roll the wheels of my wheelchair.
It would be convenient to use the restroom while still in the wheelchair. With my current physical condition, getting in and out of bed was a significant exertion.
With the memory of my conversation with Yeonho still echoing in my head, I slowly and gently steered my wheelchair towards the restroom. But just as I approached the corner, I heard a voice not too far away.
I hadn't heard any visitors to the nearby rooms today, and it was getting quite late. I assumed that Yeonho was possibly making a quick bathroom stop before leaving. However, while I was quietly moving closer...
"Are you... going to keep dating her?"
I froze, recognizing the voice. It was the vague memory of a friend Yeonho had introduced.
"What, Heena?"
"Yeah."
"Of course, why?"
"It doesn't bother me if you're okay with it... but her condition is nearly hopeless. Her legs."
"... Yeah, she does seem to be having a hard time."
I knew. I had been aware.
Rehabilitation had been underway for a few months, but there was no progress.
I was not delusional enough to believe that everything would get better.
It was just that... showing my unyielding spirit made my family and Yeonho happy.
So, mechanically, I kept up the efforts.
But that was a minor detail. The real tormenting thought during the time I spent without Yeonho was the question his friend had asked.
How did Yeonho perceive me now?
It made me incredibly curious, and also scared.
If...
If he decided to leave me...
I wouldn't be able to stop him, not out of gratitude or guilt.
"Look... it may not be the place for this conversation, but are you sure it's okay? It's going to get tougher if you continue seeing each other..."
"Hmm..."
There was a moment of silence.
Cold sweat ran down my hand. Unlike me, grappling with sudden tension and nausea.
Yeonho, as always, spoke cheerfully.
"I've thought about what you said."
"And?"
"I won't break up with her."
"Why?"
I, too, wanted to know.
Why, precisely?
Yeonho's answer was crystal clear.
"Just... because I like her."
"You seem to struggle sometimes."
"Rehabilitation doesn't always go as planned... there must be other things too."
"Maybe if I suggest breaking up, she might agree with a smile."
"To be honest... I don't think Heena likes me as much as I like her."
"Also, I felt a bit guilty because I kept visiting her every day."
"But none of that matters."
"She hasn't asked me to break up."
"I won't break up just because I like her, and I want to see my girlfriend, so I'll keep coming."
"It's not out of obligation or pity."
"I thought at first I might not be that great of a guy, and maybe my feelings were just sympathy... like those bastards at school whispering behind Heena's back, I wondered if my feelings would fade."
"But that's not the case."
"I miss her every day, and I feel good when I see her."
"Just like when we first started dating."
"It's just that I really like her. Maybe too much."
His words, seemingly trivial, etched themselves deeply into my heart.
'Because I like her.'
With a choked voice to suppress any impending sobs, I broke down in tears.
Just as Yeonho stated, I did have feelings for him, but not to the extent that led us to start dating.
Yet as our relationship continued, I found myself increasingly drawn to him. He quietly made his way into my heart, seeping into it like watercolor spreading across a canvas.
Nevertheless, I didn't believe it was love.
My relationship with Yeonho marked my first romance. I lacked the experience to define what love truly was.
The passionate feelings I saw depicted in comics, novels, and dramas—thinking only about one person, allowing my whole life to be governed by them—I didn't know what that felt like.
I didn't know. I didn't realize.
Until this very moment.
Whether it was the shining person I used to be, or the hideous thing I am now.
He simply liked me, without any of those unnecessary words.
And that was what I cherished.
In hindsight, there was always a part of me hoping for Yeonho's presence.
Reliving the conversations we had, the dates we went on.
Never missing my rehabilitation exercises, just on the off-chance he might visit.
Even if it was just in my dreams, imagining where we could go if my health improved.
That part of me existed.
It wasn't just gratitude. His face, his expressions, his movements, his every word—every single aspect moved me.
That part of me existed.
Only now, in this moment,
Have I learned what love is.
If only I had learned a bit sooner.
We could have spent more time together, visited more places, gone on more dates.
I could have loved him even more... much more than I do now.
Author's Note:
Holy moly;
I accidentally deleted it, but now it's re-uploaded.
Heena's story will continue until the next episode.
Thank you so much for all your comments and likes, dear readers!
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