My Dearest General: It Has Always Been You

The intercourse was anything but pleasurable. It was raw, painful and brutal. Nan Cheng almost didn't treat her like a human being, only a tool to vent his sexual desires. Her body was covered in black and blue bruises and her lower part was swollen and bleeding. Even then, Nan Cheng didn't stop until she fainted again and again, until the bedsheet was soaked in the mixture of their bodily fluids and the blood that trailed down her thigh.

In the end, Si Qingzhao was unconscious for five days. When she came to, she was on IV drips and her whole body felt so painful as if she was run over by a truck. Her body wasn't even cleaned, the traces of that man still lingered all over, sticky and disgusting.

Nan Cheng was already nowhere to be found, only his secretary who looked at her like a lowly prostitute was there in the hotel room.

Next, what she received were threats. Take the money away and go as far as possible. If she were to forget her place and come to Nan Cheng again, they would dispose of her body. Not only that, her family—their backgrounds, photos, jobs—they got everything in their hands. If she even dared to spread some rumors about Nan Cheng, her family's fate would be on the line.

That was the first time Si Qingzhao realized she had jumped head-on into the devil's den. One that promised all the pain there was in the world.

Following that, Si Qingzhao stayed in the hotel for two days and scrambled home. She hid herself there, too terrified to even tell anyone. Everytime someone asked her what happened, the memory of that day would pop up and she would get hysterical. Nightmares haunted her dreams, all of which starred that terrifying and cold-blooded man, Nan Cheng. 

...How she wished she could turn back in time. If so, then she wouldn't have been so stupid as to approach Nan Cheng again. 

Si Qingzhao regretted it immensely. Despite that, she thought that there was no way for her and Nan Cheng to cross paths again. Her family also moved to another city to grant her a new start which Si Qingzhao was truly grateful for.

Until one day, she found there was something wrong with herself.

Secretly sneaking to the hospital, Si Qingzhao discovered with dread that there was another living being growing in her stomach. 

—She was already three months pregnant.

The news somehow reached Nan Cheng's ears and thus the harassment started. The nightmare returned all over again. Nan Cheng wanted to get her back but she was already too terrified beyond wits. Whenever she saw Nan Cheng, what she recalled was only the bone-breaking pain that night. Like a coward, she hid behind her family's back and pretended as if she knew nothing.

There were many times when she wanted to kill herself along with the fetus. Just imagining that it was Nan Cheng's child almost broke her mind apart. Yet, time and time again, she would always stop at the last second.

Why…? She clearly didn't wish for the child to exist. So why couldn't she get rid of it?!

In the end, the breaking point came when Father Si, Mother Si and Si Zhening started to return home with wounds to varying degrees. This was clearly Nan Cheng's threats — he would be able to get rid of them easily if she continued this ridiculous act of hiding. This sobered Si Qingzhao's mind up, compelling her to run away and make the man focus on herself. 

Only by then would she be able to protect her family.

Six months later, she gave birth to an adorable baby boy, alone at a nameless clinic near the suburbs, only accompanied by a dubious middle aged female doctor. She named him 'Xukun' as she wanted him to grow up strong and vigilant, to be smarter and braver than she ever was. 

At first, she was hesitating to let the child follow her surname. If he was a Nan, would his life become better? Then again, who could guarantee that Nan Cheng would love this child?

Before she gave birth, she was afraid of Nan Cheng. But after she did, she became afraid that Nan Cheng would separate them. Of course, from the start, Nan Cheng had stated that he wanted nothing to do with her. He only wanted her baby. Despite that, Si Qingzhao had grown to love Xukun, so much that she wasn't sure whether she would survive without him.

Thus she kept on running, running and running.

Countless times she wondered if she had made the right decision. Should she have given the child up to Nan Cheng?

***

After hearing the story, Si Zhening made a decision at that time.

Whether she granted him permission or not, he would help her. 

Ever since that day, Si Qingzhao pushed him away more harshly than before. She even went as far as to move again without telling him. This time she settled in City A, next door to kind neighbors such as Qiang Fei and her adorable daughter, Shi Nian. 

Nonetheless, Si Zhening still found out about it through Si Yusheng. Every time he visited, she would snarl and spout hateful words. Si Zhening knew that she was only worried that he would get hurt again like last time. That's why he gradually showed up in front of her less and less, and chose to observe her from afar instead. Even more so when he was going to do something that she wouldn't agree to no matter what.

In the winter when he was fifteen, he left for another city and after asking around, staked out in front of a dimsum restaurant for three days. Before his body chilled to death, the person he was waiting for finally showed up. Still with traces of heavy bruises on his face, he stopped Jia Renyu on his way in. 

In an instant, the men by Jia Renyu's side surrounded him and took him down. Si Zhening struggled desperately, his bloodshot eyes staring up at Jia Renyu, transfixed. "Please, take me in!" He pleaded.

He had never felt as desperate as of now. Whenever he recalled Si Qingzhao's nervous look every time she opened the door and her cries that day, his resolve strengthened even more. If he couldn't bring Nan Cheng down, then he would seek someone who could.

And that person was in front of him.

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A/N: Surprise! Three new chapters updated! Scroll down to keep reading~

Author's favorite question! So, whose fault do you think it is? Si Qingzhao's drunken recklessness or....

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