Chapter 72: Grieving For Her Loss
"The gun is for protection." She quietly said, hugging her stomach and continuing to avoid his pressuring gaze.
"Protection? You can get arrested and go to jail if you’re caught with it-"
"I won’t." She finally lifted her gaze to look at him. He was surprised to see the fierce determination within her eyes. It was clear she wasn’t afraid of being caught.
Yang Feng thought back to Zhao Moyao’s military influences. That’s right, she had the power of her grandfather backing her up. What was she scared of? But something felt off...she had wielded the gun as if she had used it before. The thirst for blood in her eyes, her lightning-quick speed, and the lack of sympathy told him she wasn’t afraid to kill or shoot people on the site.
"Just who exactly are you?" The question came out before he could stop himself. It had confirmed his lingering suspicion that the background check Chen Gaonan did had barely scratched the surface.
Chen Gaonan had always been able to not leave any stone unturned whenever he performed an investigation on someone. While he had been able to unearth relatively unknown facts about her such as her one year stint in Zheng Corps or the ways she had subdued other socialites to rule over them, there were still gaps in the report that they couldn’t fill in.
When he had Chen Gaonan check on the two years of her disappearance, nothing came up. Not a single detail or evidence was left behind. It was like she disappeared from the face of Earth, never to be found.
"You already know the answer to that." She looked out the window and stared at the afternoon sky filled with fluffy clouds.
He stared at her defensive position as she avoided his gaze by facing the window. Ever since he found her drunk and vulnerable last night, he saw her in a much better light. Instead of the confident and daring woman he was used to seeing, he saw something much more — a woman who hid her pain behind a dazzling smile and a strong facade. Her walls looked sturdy and high, but there were cracks that had been haphazardly filled in. Hidden underneath that smile was a girl grieving for her loss and her broken heart.
"I know more than what others already know about you." He waited for a shift in emotion. He waited for her outburst that he had dug into her background without her permission. The clock ticked on the wall, seconds passed, and she remained quiet.
He figured she wouldn’t say anything without being triggered, so he thought of a pressing question. "Tell me what happened in the two years of your disappearance."
Zhao Lifei turned to him, one hand grabbing her other elbow, as she stared at him.
She instantly became guarded and her concrete walls became solid metal. Her eyes, once an open book to him, was cold and her emotions were suddenly hidden behind a mask. At her swiftness to do so, he knew it was a move she had mastered through the years.
At the mention of her past, Yang Feng noticed how rigid she had become. He knew the two years was a very private matter, but curiosity got the best of him.
Two years ago, when she was just twenty-one years old, she was notorious for her bad temper and thin patience.
She was once the "future Madam Zheng", with a tongue as sharp as a knife, eyes as daunting as a predator, and words that seemed like law, she used to be the ’Queen of the Socialites’. She didn’t need to resort to violence, her words were enough to bring someone down. She had earned herself an endless list of enemies who had eagerly awaited for her downfall.
To her, everyone was a disposable pawn on her cruel chess board. No one dared to offend her.
That is, until Zheng Tianyi turned the predator into the prey, and declared her powerless. Immediately, everyone including her family turned against her, ruining every part of her until she was nothing but the shell of the woman she used to be.
Yang Feng felt more and more intrigued each time he looked at her. What was her redemption to these horrible sins she has committed? What influence was so strong and powerful enough to turn a powerful woman into the one she was today? Which version of her is the real Zhao Lifei?
Pushed into a corner by her parents, ignored by her younger sister, loved by no one, and taught to be heartless, Yang Feng realized where her bad temperament stemmed from.
She was just a desperate child seeking love and attention.
She was the same child who had eagerly poured him tea and followed him around until she had gotten his quiet acceptance. Even now, as she stood rooted in her spot with a faraway look in her eyes, she was still that little girl seeking shelter and comfort within someone.
Her heart was too wounded to accept the idea, but he knew better than anyone else, she just wanted someone to love her without restrictions or wanting something in return. Someone to love her for who she is and everything she brings with her -- her outstanding abilities, her cruel and vicious ways, and her horrible past.
"I left the city to become a better person." She said after a while. Without waiting for his reply or reaction, she turned her back to him and walked to the kitchen to clean up the dishes from this morning.
Because of his position on the couch, Yang Feng could see the perfect view of Zhao Lifei doing the dishes. He was surprised to see her personally clean the plates instead of placing them into the dishwasher. He knew she had one, every modern apartment does. So why wasn’t she using hers?
On top of that, she didn’t seem bothered by the fact that her hand might become rough from doing so many chores. He realized that the report he had on her also mentions that there were no servants nor any cleaning service that had passed through her apartment door since she came back.
Looking at her now, he couldn’t help but think back to her words. Did she disappear for two years just to become a better person? Did she think he was stupid and ignorant?
She was clearly hiding something, but he had no excuse to pressure her. In her eyes, their relationship was only at the beginning stage. To her, he was nothing more than a simple acquaintance, and a friend if she was in a good mood.
At the thought of her only seeing him as a friendly companion who didn’t have the privilege to go beyond simple hugs, his aura has turned chilly. His mood soured and the air around him suddenly mimicked the North Pole in the Arctic.
He didn’t want to just be her friend. He wanted so much more than that. When he found out that she had been betrothed, he forced his childhood crush to die. But it seems that the universe had other plans, and they were now back on track.
Tapping his fingers onto the armrest beside him, one finger at a time, he thought about a plan to win her over. This time, she’s going to end up in his arms and he would never let her go.
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