Chapter 35 - Courage Of A Woman
ETAN
He was speechless. Utterly speechless. By silent agreement, he and Borsche skipped the barracks altogether and stalked through the courtyard, to the castle proper. Leaving the ecstatic crowd roaring in the distance, Etan stormed straight into the castle, to their chambers. Borsche peeled off to find servants to bring a bath for Etan, but Etan didn't even pause. Just hurried through the halls to his rooms and, throwing the door closed behind him, began to strip from the sweaty leathers immediately. He would wrap himself in a robe until the bath was ready.
As soon as he had the tops off, he went to the washbasin and threw water on his face, just as he had that morning in an attempt to wake himself after the sleepless night, now he felt the urge to wash away the feeling that this was all a dream.
That moment when she'd removed the scarf and shaken her hair loose… he'd almost gone hard.
He couldn't shake the sound of her cry when he'd jabbed her rib. It made him sick to his stomach. But she'd kept fighting. Hadn't let the blow throw her off.
She was a true fighter.
He couldn't even say untested—she'd bested him!
Yet… she'd apologized for it. Her eyes cloudy, brow furrowed, she offered him her hand, and apologized.
That made him sick, too. She thought she had to tell him sorry because she'd been smarter, stronger on the day?
He scoffed and rubbed his face clear of the water dripping into his eyes, then leaned on the basin. "How did you do it?" he prayed in a whisper. "She's perfect."
The door swung open behind him and Borsche entered. Etan straightened quickly, looking for the towel.
"The bath will be here soon," he said. Etan could feel his friend's eyes on his back and his lips thinned. What would Borsche think?
"Good," he said quietly, turning to the closet to choose the clothes he'd wear to that night's feast. "I need to get rid of all this dust."
They were both quiet for a moment as Etan chose the blue suit for the night and laid it on the bed. But eventually, there was nothing left to do, and the servants hadn't appeared yet. So, he gave up and met Borsche's gaze.
His friend sat in the thick chair, elbows on his knees, staring at him with a concerned look.
"What?" he asked.
"I was wrong," Borsche said.
Etan blinked. "About what?"
"A number of things—including her worthiness for you. I begin to wonder, honestly, if you're good enough for her," he grinned wickedly, and Etan snorted. But his face sobered quickly. "Seriously, though, Etan… I was wrong about the challenge before you. I fear… I fear it isn't the other men that will compete with you for her heart… but her own courage."
Etan nodded. "She is fierce. Fearless."
Borsche shook his head. "No, she feels fear—often. But she is truly brave—willing to walk into things that frighten her and overcome them. She is… an example," he said, eyebrows up, as if the statement surprised him.
Etan thought about that for a moment—remembering her willingness to climb the wall when she didn't like heights. Her facing down of that sick Lord when she was alone in the maze. The way she'd stood against him when they disagreed in the dark… Borsche was right. She wasn't without fear. She was just unwilling to give in to it.
He swallowed.
Then Borsche said, "She did that for you, you know."
Etan looked at him. "How so?"
"She saw that the men in her family were going to win at any cost. She wanted you to have a fair fight. I caught enough of her conversation with her Knight Defender to know she was up to something, I just hadn't imagined…"
"No, I don't think anyone did. Not even her parents, apparently."
"That's another thing, she had hidden her skill from them until today. From everyone."
"She told me her Knight taught her that surprise was her greatest asset—being underestimated helped her in a fight."
Borsche nodded. "She gave that up today. For you."
Etan ran a hand through his hair and grimaced. "I wish she hadn't."
"She's a fighter, son, just like you."
"She'll have to fight more now, now that people know she can."
"Perhaps, perhaps not. But all of that aside, she is known now. Her value is seen. She has become even more powerful today—and I doubt she intended for that to happen. The two of you will have an even tougher fight ahead of you to stay together," he said sadly.
Etan sank onto the bed, frowning.
"This is where you prove who you are, Etan. This is where you prove that you deserve her."
Etan scoffed. "No matter what I do, her parents will never see me as—"
"It's not them you have to prove it to, Etan. It's her."
He looked at Borsche, frowning. His friend held his gaze, kind but firm.
The knock at the door startled them both, but Etan was relieved. He needed to consider all of this carefully. He had not changed his mind—didn't believe Ayleth would have, either—but Borsche's advice was true. They would face even more resistance after this. He needed to consider how to meet that wisely.
But he let the servants enter and pour the bath, carry the water and bring towels. He and Borsche watched in the quiet, both deep in thought.
"One thing I can tell you," Borsche said when the servants finally left and Etan sank into the bath, groaning as his aching muscles sank into the heat.
"What's that?"
"You need to train with her."
Etan snorted. But he had a bad feeling Borsche wasn't joking.
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