Lazy Dungeon Master

First Customers

With the dungeon redecorated, our operation here is becoming more and more genuine.

Though saying that might be me being enthusiastic, since adventurers won’t immediately rush in.

By the way, this inn’s name is [Dancing Doll’s Pavilion]. That way even if they see golems cultivating fields, I’ll be able to stick with the story: “It’s been that kind of inn since the start.” The [Setting] established that the owner, Rokuko, uses golems.

… In reality Rokuko was listening to orders, and it won’t be a lie if she learns [Create Golem] with our surplus DP. It’d probably be fine even if we made a crest-like notice that shouted something like: “We use golems at our inn~!”

“Still, this leisure time though…”

Ichika was complaining behind the counter, but it couldn’t be helped that there weren’t any guests.

… Hmm? Wait, come to think of it, there isn’t really a need for someone to sit at the counter the whole time right?

Since Rokuko will know if someone comes into the dungeon’s range, it’s fine if she just comes when that happens…

Ah, but maybe that’d be no good after all if I’m sleeping.

—Oh, soon as I thought that, our first customers showed up.

A pair of men. I decided to close myself up into my room and observe them through the monitor.

… So they ordered C-Rank and D-Rank meals huh. The C-Rank one is [Steak Set (10 DP)] and the D-Rank one is [Beef Stew Set (6 DP)].

By the way, their flavors are about that of an average family restaurant’s. If I consider 1 DP to be a hundred yen, well it’s probably reasonable.

Well, honestly, selling them for five silver and one silver is pretty expensive. Since if I converted the silver into yen it’d be fifty thousand yen and ten thousand yen you know? Ichika said it would be fine even if it was more expensive though.

Ah, that’s why I added pudding to D-Rank and above. They were sold in sets of three like from the supermarket, [3-Piece Pudding (1 DP)].

Even the plastic material used as its container is valuable, they’re excellent materials to recycle as materials for golems… Ah, when just two get ordered, wouldn’t there be one left over? Wha—, Ichika, surely you aren’t aiming for it…!?

*

Well, apart from their meal, hot spring trip and the thing with the massage chair, it appeared that they were very satisfied with the futons. After taking a morning bath, they slowly headed into the dungeon as adventurers.

“Goshujin-sama~. As expected, it’s no good if the beef isn’t cooked with lots’a spices or the quality goes down huh?”

… It definitely can’t be helped after seeing their reaction. Meanwhile, she ate the pudding in those few seconds. She’s swooning with an unpleasant smile.

I wonder if D-Rank’s should be [Ginger-Grilled Pork Special (5 DP)] next time. It’s probably fine to keep E-Rank and below having [Side Bread] and [Buttered Bread]. Still, I can get three of [This Place’s General Bread], which is hard and black, for 1 DP… Since the [Buttered Bread] is 1 DP for a sack of six of them, the black bread is more expensive. I don’t get it.

“Looks like they accepted a dungeon investigation commission in Sia. They’re C-Rank adventurers, the Uzoh Muzoh brothers.”

“They’re adventurer brothers?”

“Nah, they aren’t tied by blood y’know? They’re just from the same village.”

Alright, let’s just forget about what “brothers” is meant to mean.

So two customers like that stayed the night, we earned eight silver and one copper, and earned 125 DP. Since one silver was 10 DP when converted, even setting aside meals our earnings were 188 DP.

Still, for us to get 120 DP from those strong adventurers staying a night huh. I was surprised, but although they were at the same level as Ichika, it seems they were less skilled than her.

I wonder why.

When I looked at the red circles that showed intruders on the map, I was able to see how much DP they would individually give me each day. I don’t know when it started being able to do that but it seems its functions have increased… Come to think of it, I’m able to roughly see how much DP I’m obtaining from each area. I wonder if it’s requirement was building an inn?

Checking it out, Uzoh was [61 DP] and Muzoh was [59 DP]. The two combined were 5 DP per hour.

But still, that would be the case if it was a complete day. One night is between six in the evening and eight in the morning, fourteen hours in all. It should’ve been just 70 DP. There’s a huge 55 DP difference there between that and what we got.

Well, I decided to watch them on the map for a bit.

They were at the remains of the prison left by the bandits from a while back, only the bars remained.

As soon as Uzoh entered the jail, the daily DP income from him increased to [183 DP].

… It looks like the amount of DP income increases depending on place and condition. At the very least, let’s verify [Threefold DP in the Prison] later. If Ichika’s [65 DP] turns into [195 DP]… yep, Uzoh-kun and Muzoh-kun have brought me some great information. For that, let’s splurge and give them a [Mana Potion (150 DP)].

Ah, by the way, Meat is [10 DP] per day, with Rokuko and I being [0 DP]. Well that’s because we’re dungeon master and core huh… Meat, did you grow up? Or maybe recover? You were staring death in the face before after all…

That aside, our income from the dungeon’s earth vein now is just 90 DP? Oops, I shouldn’t think of that as small… do your best, earth vein.

And then the Uzoh Muzoh brothers descended to the first underground floor while trampling their way through goblins.

… Despite the traps being perfectly set at the start, they were making their way through unexpectedly safely. Maybe I should make them a bit harder?

Combat versus golems began on the underground floors.

They encountered clay golems that were summoned from spawners and roaming around a few times.

Those guys didn’t even have a simple sword, so they weren’t actually that strong since you just needed to hit them enough times. They were defeated pretty easily.

“… Incidentally, Golems die when they’re cut in two right?”

“Askin’ now even though Goshujin-sama already has a habit of usin’ golems huh. Ya see, golems can’t move if their magical power drains outa their body. Well, rather than dyin’ it’s more like they just can’t move? Somethin’ like that. The usual way to go about takin’em out is to hit ’em really hard or mess ’em up with magic. Ah, their weak point is havin’ their magic stone taken out, like heart failure.”

And so, Ichika taught me about the golems’ weak points.

To tell the truth, I didn’t understand them that well since there was no information about them other than how to [Make a Golem] inside of [Create Golem]. I guess making irregular golems was beyond that scroll’s scope to begin with.

Impacts, magic, and the magic stone huh. I wonder if golems are unexpectedly weak? A clay golem is a third the cost of a lizardman (150 DP) after all… Ooh, it might be a good idea to dress them in armor.

An armor golem on a golem… ah, the heck, I just pictured an armored-type haniwa thing… y-yeah, I just thought of something strange. For the boss golem design, let’s use a haniwa as a base. The meaning behind them is to protect peaceful sleep you know? Isn’t that perfect? [1]

When I looked back at Uzoh and Muzoh, they’d entered the [Test Room].

Uzoh pulled out the magic sword blade golem from the pedestal.

Oh. The amount of DP I get from them doubled as soon as the doorway closed… It doubled because they’re closed in, I guess?

Maybe it’d be a good idea to also given them a key for them to use and call the place a training area… no, if something like them sleeping in the hotel with the doors closed counted, their DP would’ve doubled then as well huh. I mean, what’s causing it? I didn’t think I’d need to solve a DP income riddle so suddenly!

However, looking at him bubbling over with happiness over holding a magic sword, he seems very pleased.

… Maybe I should… no way, there’s no way I could… I definitely shouldn’t.

*

Three days after the pair dove into the dungeon. In the meantime, although there were zero guests staying at the inn, we were getting 240 DP daily from the adventurers inside the dungeon (the Uzoh Muzoh brothers). Adding up Ichika and Meat, as well as the dungeon’s basic income and so on, we were getting a total of 400 DP per day.

Even if I did nothing else, my daily wage would be forty thousand yen. Thirty times that for monthly salary, a crazy one million two hundred thousand yen. Silly income for a single person.

“… But why don’t those guys leave the test room?”

“They’re probably pleased with its coziness! As expected of my dungeon~”

Even though they could leave as soon as they stab the magic sword back into the pedestal… it doesn’t look like they’re going to leave at all. Why the heck do they want to stay inside so bad…

When I checked, they strolled around the room and beat the walls.

Oh—, he put a normal sword into the pedestal. Unfortunate, but wrong. Won’t work.

“… Wait, perhaps they don’t know how to leave…?”

“Oooh, now that you mention it they did seem like idiots~”

“I wouldn’t want to be called that by Rokuko.”

I wonder if he was unconsciously avoiding the right answer and just didn’t want to part with the magic sword?

… Now I’m recalling a story about an ape that tried to take some bait out of a hole with its hand but couldn’t.

“… Well, let’s just watch for a bit more. They’ll leave sooner or later… the DP is great even if they don’t leave.”

“Yeah. Wouldn’t it be fine for us to just leave them in there?”

Above all, it’s double DP when confined with a key and three times as much when imprisoned. I learned that it would increase by the huge factor of sixfold when imprisoned with Ichika’s cooperation. However, it seems she was slowly tiring out when confined in the prison. I wonder if it’s due to having DP wrung out of her?

… For now, so long as we’re sure that doors are properly locked when people sleep, our income will increase.

*

Day five.

When staying a full ten days, we obtain the same amount of DP as though they were killed.

In other words, with Uzoh and Muzoh’s doubled amount of income for us, we’re now earning more DP than if we had just killed them on day one. Isn’t it fine for the Uzoh Muzoh brothers to just keep staying with us? It’d be great DP if we just fed them and kept them as pets…

By the way, it seems there are human farms in some of the high-ranking dungeons. It was a technique of literally treating humans as livestock for cultivating DP… If it leaked out to humans, it’d instantly become the case of destroying the dungeon core on sight.

We can’t possibly do that with a small scale dungeon like ours… To keep it a secret we’d have to make deeper floors… no, the risk is too big. There’s no way I could sleep peacefully with so much danger. Rejected, rejected.

Well, since were still weren’t getting any other guests, I stayed lying down while watching Uzoh and Muzoh’s actions. It looks like they were tired of waiting and tried to destroy the needles that were blocking the entrance.

“… That’s a shame! Attacking a dungeon object with the blade golem is like attacking with a normal [Iron Sword]!”

“Who was that explanation for?”

Ah, usually there would be a monster opponent for them to fully savor its sharpness though. The boss? It’s different from the boss. I’m planning on giving it the ability to disempower my dungeon’s magic swords. I haven’t made it yet though.

Well, they failed as I figured… is what I expected, but they broke one of the needles blocking them in. Looks like they gave up because two more came back though. For them to try using the magic sword on the test room’s blockade… I made the walls and floor considerably strong so that they won’t be destroyed. In other words, I used the mysterious dungeon power of making a [Puzzle Room that’s Possible to Escape] by putting the key to escape inside.

… Eh, what?

The magic sword… broke?

Footnotes:

Haniwa are basically ‘sleeping charms’. Here’s an image of one. Return

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