Isekai’d Shoggoth

Chapter 8: Capital And Long-Awaited Coffee (Also, I Accidentally Maid)

We have arrived to the capital without any further ado. The manor our family owns in the capital is rather modest compared to some of the lords who tend to live in the capital and steer their domains via messengers and pigeon mail, but has an extensive garden to make up for it. Which suits me just fine, because I'm not really planning on throwing any balls or otherwise host social gatherings. In fact, I wouldn't even be living in the manor save for unexpected situations - Academy attendants are expected to live in the dorms. Exceptions could be made, of course, but... let's hold off asking for exceptions until I verify things and decide if it's worth the effort to begin with.

But until I am formally entering Academy, this manor will serve as my domicile. On a side note, we have had arrived two whole weeks ahead of the projected time. Which, according to the father, is because of the carriage being fitted with shocks. Which is ridiculous. Engine, I could understand, but SHOCKS? Father claims that without shocks, no one could sustain more than four hours of riding before needing to disembark and walk for a while or settle down for a rest stop. Because getting butthurt is a very real danger while traveling in this world. There, I thought it. For crying out loud, world, WHY ARE YOU SO RIDICULOUS!? Are you buttering me up for inevitable bouts of stupidly angsty happenings later? What the hell. Gaaah!

Alright, I'm no longer mentally screaming. Really. I'm not. Ranting maybe, not screaming. Agh!

...Oh. A distraction. How welcome. Bridgit had arrived two days after us, wide-eyed and bedazzled at the speed of the journey. Thankfully, at least carriage drivers are set to take advantage of improved mobility, if not the passengers. So, anyway, I have a maid, and I promptly sent her out with a purse of gold to buy me some cava beans. And here she comes back. With a bag that... is bigger than the purse she left with. By far. SCORE.

...OOk, it actually IS coffee. Green coffee, to be exact. Given the remains of coffee fruit on the beans, I estimate that their method of producing coffee is to dry the fruits and then have people manually crack them open and extract beans. Explains the high price, it's going to be tedious and time-consuming. Huh, Bridgit is eyeing the beans.

"Interested in cava?" - I inquire casually, as I poke at the beans. I need to roast them, green coffee is not among my favorites. Or, more precisely, I don't hate it, but what I REALLY want right now is a nice medium roast. Plenty of flavor, plenty of caffeine, little sugar. She nods slightly - "I.. have tasted cava before. Once. With, um... father."

Oh. Yeah, way to go, Bridgit. I need to make inquiries before Klaus decides to use you as a way to get at me. Actually, why is he interested so early? Thinks I'm a threat to Krauts with my newfangled inventions? More questions to answer. But anyway, oh... right. Bridget and cava. Which, apparently, had been given to her by her father before.

"I'm going to use an exotic method for it, Bridgit." - I suggest - "It will taste very differently. If that does not scare you, I can spare you a cup or two." She nods eagerly and follows me to the kitchen. Since the house is used rarely, the only person we keep on payroll in capital is the groundskeeper. The rest of staff is brought in from the estate. In this particular case, Bridgit will live in the city, either with me at the dorm or if there are no suitable accommodations, in the manor here, and tend to my needs. Dressing, hair care, food... Hm. I'm guessing she's going to be my personal maid at this rate. I'm actually fine with the idea, though I expect Sally and Louise back home are rather offput about losing their taste-testing privileges. Then again, mother have had been using them lately as walking advertisements for perfume. Lose some, gain some?

Roasting the beans takes some time and I'm actually pretty glad Bridgit is watching the proceedings wide-eyed. With any luck, I will be able to farm out that menial task to her in the future. Stuffing my handmill with freshly roasted beans, I grind them down gleefully. Soon, the first pot of coffee is ready. Bridgit stares at it in wonderment. "...So black..." - she murmurs. Green coffee produces a whitish-green beverage when brewed. Spooning some sugar in, I set the cup towards Bridgit. Mine comes straight. She notices. "Mistress, why!? I can't partake in sugar if you aren't!" - she yelps.

"It is bitter." - I explain simply - "I like the aroma, but you won't enjoy it. Remember your reaction to dandelion brew?" Given her flinch, she does. I did end up substituting coffee with dried dandelion root while back at the county. It's not coffee, but close enough to it to fool me. Chicory would work better, but it is only cultivated by fishmongers for some reason, and it is rare in the wild up north. I did set up the field of it, but it wasn't ready to be used in any way by the time I had to depart. Anyway, apparently I'm the only one who actually likes dandelion brew without sugar. Family and servants were united on that matter - "Too bitter!".

She sips the sugared coffee slowly, and the most peculiar expression spreads over her face as she smacks her lips. "Mistress. This is the weirdest thing you let me try, so far." - she finally opines - "Why does it feel like my heart is beating faster?" Oh. OK, yeah, maybe I should have expected cava to have concentrated caffeine, given my previous experiences with spices....Oh SHI... "Bridgit, no!" - but she already downed the cup in one go.

"...oooooooh!" - is her opinion as she shoots to her feet, her eyes wide, and I SEE the vibrations going over her body. For the next few hours, I'm treated to a sight of maid frantically overhauling the house from stem to stern. She carries out what equals to a fully-blown spring cleaning, and then crashes so hard I have to physically haul her to bed...Well, fuck, that was.... irresponsible of me.

Father comes in in the middle of that, inquires upon Bridgit's condition, cautiously sips the coffee and declares it "a potion of haste masquerading as a beverage". He is... more than a little sardonic about me having to put the maid to bed. He is even more sardonic when I elect to cook dinner instead of going out to the tavern as he suggested. His opinion mellows out significantly after a bowl of nice stew, thankfully. Apparently, while he is proud I'm willing to step up and make up for mistakes, it is "uncouth" for a lady like me to actually do any cooking. I counter with the suggestion that my cooking is reserved only for those I would call family, which he agrees with but still advises to exercise decorum. Fair enough.

___

Holy shit, Bridgit is wrecked. I'm glad I decided to set up an alarm spell, because I ended up literally catching her as she was about to faceplant on the floor just trying to get up from the bed. And now, I think, she's more than a little bit embarrassed because I went ahead and gave her a bath. At least she's mostly coherent now, if not exactly up to doing much. Oh, and hellishly mortified because apparently "proper ladies" don't take care of their servants when "proper ladies" accidentally fuck them up. No, "proper ladies" are apparently to leave their servants to sink or swim. Well, nuts to that. Dad is torn between bemusement, pride and embarrassment, I think. He finds my preoccupation bemusing, is proud of me taking care of Bridgit and finds it embarrassing that I am so unabashedly straightforward about it. Pride is winning by a large margin, if I'm getting this right. Thanks, dad.

Goodness, Bridgit seems ready to implode from shame. Apparently, giving her a meal in bed was WAY too much. Had to sit down and reassure her that all of that is a family secret, not a public mocking of her maidly honor. On the flip side, I think I just got her undying loyalty. Or at least foundation for it. The rest will follow once I get some concrete info on her family. Which shouldn't be too hard, if I recall the game right, but would need to wait till the start of Academy.

Anyway, Bridgit is reasonably well enough to fend for herself till evening, and I have to get ready for a royal audience. Which should be low-key, because it's mostly dad updating his majesty Abraham Cullen on our new products and me, ugh, resuming my acquittance with my current fiancee prince Ed the unfortunately named. Oh, and in a bit of unplanned pleasantries, passing on a vial of citrus-flavored perfume to the queen, Monika Cullen. (...The names make no sense. Too modern. Too CASUAL, you don't refer to the royal family by name and surname. What is going on? Is it a token to the fact king is more of an arbitrator and mediator than absolute despot, or something weirder is going on? Note to self- note this.)

I have no idea what I'm going to do with Ed. He had been a flat character even in the game. The default route, so to speak. And, if memory serves, having pre-existing prejudice against his fiance. Aka me. I'm not exactly SURE what is the basis of prejudice even, because in the game he was never asked to elaborate, nor did the issue come up in some other way. Honestly, the actual reason was "Ed dislikes Alyssa because Protagonist dislikes Alyssa", but that does not work because Ed is not even introduced to the Protagonist yet. Who might or might not commandeer his undying loyalty from the first glance.

Oh well. I'm definitely not interested in Ed in any way, so maintaining cordial distance until he figures out whom he really marries would be fairly painless. I hope. I... Fuck. No way it's going to be this simple. This is fucking otome. This is the start of FOOKING NONSENSE. With blackjack and hookers. Wait, is blackjack a thing? I mean, hookers are definitely a thing, I refuse to believe even a world as weird as this failed to develop the oldest profession... I need to find if any of the local brothels cater to women liking other women at some point. Because I might need some kind of stress relief down the line. Or a source of convenient scandal, for that matter.

Ok. I'm fine. I'm cool. Plan? Keep things cordial with Ed, but make it clear to him he is not considered bound to follow through on the engagement. After all, it's not like either of you were asked if you wanted this to begin with. Maybe best not promise or suggest anything specific. I'm tempted to tell him he's free to "sample the wares" if I get the same consideration, but this is... complicated. The royal family does do the whole "display the bloody sheet after the wedding night" thing. And while handling that much is not a problem for me, it won't sound true if it's common knowledge... Actually, hold on to that thought for a moment. I'm actually interested in girls first and foremost, what the local opinions on lesbians even are? I mean, I've yet to hear the concept mentioned. And it would suck if I'm the one who trailblazes the concept. Probably not, though, homosexual relationships have had been known in one form or another since times immemorial. Would Ed even consider it to be cheating if I have some fun with another girl? I certainly wouldn't care if he elected to bed another boy. Or girl, for that matter. But that's me. I'm an outlier in this model.

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