Isekai’d Shoggoth

Chapter 21: Conversation Over A Cup Of Coffee

Selene has a reverent expression on her face as she lifts the cup gingerly, and takes a small sip of it. "I have so missed this." - she mutters, setting the cup down and inhaling the steam. I have had sent Bridgit to "tend" to Moon Unit. Which, honestly, is a little more than "go make sure she's asleep and get in the bed yourself". I've managed to slip her a couple words (and a little tongue) discreetly, so I am expecting two girls to cuddle with on my bed tonight.

I set my own cup down with a bit of clatter. "So. Date of transmigration?" - I level at her squarely. No point to beat around the bush. "I've been here since the spring. Got full memories of Alyssa before that. Nothing particularly villainous, she's essentially been a "nice kid", if not the most socially minded one. Thought Ed was impressed with her impeccable grasp of "highborne manners" when they met last time. What about you?"

She startles, sighs. "Two days before the trip to Academy." - she admits then - "Grew up in little freehold on the ocean coast near Albic isles. I got full memories too, not that there's much to be had there, because I think I'm a foundling here. My foster dad is a yeoman who's had a bad time of it with the local gentry. They seem to find a land that is not governed by a "rightfully appointed lord" an affront. Not that anything other than snide words ever came out of it, none of them really trusts his neighbors to make an alliance strong enough to actually conquer anything."

That... is actually surprisingly relevant. "Sea, huh. You know, I actually have problems getting together enough seafaring expertise. Or any decent port. The county is not having any of the seacoast. Think your dad is interested in getting paid good money for the business?" - I pitch to her, making her snap up and blink.

"...Maybe? I have no idea. Freeholders don't mind serving for pay, but they're not interested in getting an overlord." - she offers back.

"Well, think about it and tell me. I have a lot of money rolling around for investments, and I can think of a design or two that could work well for fishing or ferrying cargo along the coast. Logistics are a bother in this realm, I don't think I'll be able to promulgate road network sufficiently enough to make bulk trading viable for a couple years yet. Sea routes could prove to be a good intermediate investment in the meanwhile." - I suggest to her - "Yes, I'm not keen on sticking with the industrial status quo. You may have heard dad's been offering shelter and food for any dwarves willing to migrate. I've given them some basic ideas on smelting, going to try building Bessemer converters during winter break. If that pans out, I'm going to start working on steam engines and railroad."

She stares at me, blinking rapidly. Then starts to grin slowly. "Industrial revolution, then? Hell yeah, I'm in." - she offers, extending her hand over the table - "Magic's making stuff easier, right?"

I shake her hand. "It does, yes. I take it you've got the light magic up the wazoo?" - I offer to her - "I'm not actually focused in anything, but lucked out being a strong mage in general." I get up to bring her a pair of simple wristbands with a couple flowers embroidered on each, and toss them to her. "Wear those. Magic through facsimiles is not as strong as through regular flower, but neither you nor me actually lack in power, innit?"

She pulls on the bands thoughtfully, flexing her hand as the lantern spell springs into existence on top of her palm. "Holy fuck. This is straight up cheating." - she quips - "Thanks. I was worried about being ambushed after those four showed up today... Um, about ambushes..."

"I don't plan on selling you to Sultanate, no." - I assure her lazily - "I'm confident we can find common ground, and even if not, I find the idea of slavery repulsive in principle."

"Pheh. I guess we should talk about the... About Ed." - she agrees - "You meant it when you said you're not interested earlier. So, theoretically speaking, you don't mind if I go for him?"

"I don't mind even practically speaking." - I retort - "Hell, just get Ed to talk to me. He would've been an eligible bachelor already if he wasn't so intent on avoiding me like a plague."

She snickers. "No promises. He's a sweetie, but horribly stubborn." - she offers - "I think I can wear him down eventually, but if you have any cunning plan in works, I'm all ears. Oh, hey, also, mind telling me something?"

I quirk a brow at her. Well, that is much less painful now that she knows I'm not in the way. "Shoot."

"You and elf girl?" - she grins cockily - "Hey, I get it actually. I'd go for her myself if I didn't like the D."

"And my maid too." - I correct her absentmindedly - "Might add couple more maidens down the line. Maybe one of the princesses, if any of them are interested."

She gawks. "Oh my fucking god, really? You're making a lesbian harem?" - she guffaws - "Hey, yeah, actually, you go, girl! Gotta catch them all and stuff."

I nod at her. "Yeah, well, it's contingent on you actually getting together with Ed. Or at least on me successfully breaking engagement without causing ah... political issues in the kingdom." - I suggest to her - "It goes without saying I'm in your corner on this one and will help as feasible. But I had a bigger question for you. You played the official translation, right? Given your name is Selene and all?"

She blinks and nods - "Yeah. Why do you ask?"

"Well... Here's the thing. There was DLC that didn't get translation treatment. So there are three more capture targets you might run across. Not likely, getting to them requires doing really messed up things, but I think you should know." - I explain to her.

She pales, and clutches her cup - "Messed up like... Klaus route messed up?"

Her face pinches when I nod gravely - "Option one - run face-first into every single situation that shows the nobles in bad sight, become full of hate for society, run off to Evergreens, cozy up to one of their big honchos and inspire elves to carry out genocidal conquest of pretty much whole continent. Oh, and it's heavily implied that the dude to seduce is directly related."

"Pass." - she says immediately - "Incest might be hot, but genocide sure ain't."

"OOokay. Option two. Go for Alistair, and keep on ramping up the violence until even he starts to backpedal. If you earn yourself a reputation for being a bloodthirsty murderdoll, you're going to get a marriage proposal from the king of Vallah, one Vlad Tepes. Vallah, in case you don't know, is local Transylvania and is in the middle of the TransBalkan mess. Vampires are a thing, though rare, but to the best of my knowledge, Vlad isn't one. He's simply a sadistic bastard with a fetish for impalement. It doesn't end well for you." - I continue with my exposition. Selene shudders in her seat and rubs her shoulders as if she's cold. It's clear she's not liking that option in the slightest.

"And finally, option three. If you go for Marceu and decide not to fight off the ork attack when you're touring the countries? They're going to kidnap you and rape you until you go crazy, murder all of them with magic and get lost in Endless Steppe afterward. Different tribe finds you, patches you up and you end up falling for chieftain, who is also an ork." - I conclude - "None of the routes are a big danger, but you might end up dealing with Vlad sometimes, because Ed might get sent out for diplomatics at some point, being a spare prince and all."

"Yeah. Well. Thanks for the warning, and that is really messed up." - she offers, as she finishes off her cup and stares into it forlornly. Her expression perks up as I pluck it out of her hands and refill it from the pot. "Oh, hey, you said the local name for coffee is cava?" - she asks eagerly.

"MM. Yes, but they sell it as green coffee. You'll have to roast it yourself, if you want black." - I explain - "Also, it's sold at the same deal as spices. At gold's weight."

Her smile crumbles. "...Well FUCK." - she whispers viciously.

I lean over and fluff her hair lightly. "Cheer up. Once you're married to Ed, you'll be able to afford it." - I quip - "Maybe sooner, if we swing the cooperation deal with seaworthy boats and your family starts turning a profit on it. I plan on eventually conquering some of Sultanate to have my own coffee plantations and really kick up the imports, but that's a long-term plan."

She looks up at me. "Sign me up for that." - she says with a wistful smile - "I can't believe how much I missed this."

"My mom does perfume by pigeon deal now, by the way." - I tell her - "Her idea entirely, I just showed her how to extract the essential oils alchemically. Simply mail a gold and a note with your preferred flavor, and you'll get back about two ounces of basic perfume in it. Rectified alcohol for a solvent base, essential oil for flavor and the rest is water. Simple, really."

She groans - "You invented Avon, too?"

"Technically, my mother did, and it's not called Avon in this reality. But yes, if you hear about 'eau fleurie du nord', you'll know what it is. I'd offer you some, but you're going to get grief from girls in your class if you come out smelling like high-class nobility." - I suggest to her - "Remind me to get you some later once you're in a position to officially go on a date with Ed, alright?"

She gives me an eye. "MMm. That sounds like my mom promising to teach me how to iron and hiding the iron on the upper shelf in the same time, you know?" - she offers, yawning. I guess she's tired enough to offset coffee.

I snort. "I can give you some right now, if you're fine with rose flavor, but there is no guarantee some of the students won't go through your stuff at some point. It's a common hazing tactic against commoners, accusing them of theft and going through their belongings. I suggest you get a sturdy lockbox and keep everything expensive and crucial in it under key whenever you're not using it. Demand dean to be present if people want to search your stuff. Hell, ask for my presence as a guarantor. That would discourage a good deal of would-be harassers on the spot." - explain to her.

She nods slowly. "And if they find an expensive perfume, they're going to claim that there is no way I could have afforded this and therefore it's clearly stolen..." - she muses - "Yeah, no. I get it. Not until I have some weight in social circles here, I guess."

"Just so. Still, do keep in mind what I said earlier. Asking for a guarantor is a legal thing, and you're allowed to violently resist any noble that refuses to honor that." - I tell her - "It would be better for all of us if you don't end up needing one, but just in case.. keep in mind that little tidbit. Technically speaking, you can name absolutely any noble as your guarantor, but they will get a LOT of leeway over you in that specific case, and if your guarantor agrees you're the guilty party in your conflict, you don't get any appeals. It's not uncommon for a noble to do just that - give a blanket "I deem my guarantee guilty of whatever you want to accuse them of" in case they're named as guarantor by someone they don't have a reason to like. So, for time being, if you need a guarantor, name me or Ed. And be aware that naming Ed as your guarantor is going to get you a LOT of negative PR while he's still my fiance."

"Sooo... if one of those bitches accuses me of theft, I should name you as guarantor, and..." - she trails off questioningly.

"And wait for the official fielding complaint to send someone to fetch me. If they refuse to or tell you they know better than to believe I'd guarantee for you, blast them with everything you've got. Nonlethal is preferable, but if you have to kill them to get away, do so. Supplanting the guarantor is a grand offense, and I will end up dueling whoever does this even if you don't fuck them up first."

"Wait, dueling? You're going to fight on my behalf?" - she inquires incredulously.

"Goodness, no. I'd fight on my own behalf in that case. Supplanting the guarantor in this context is them making a statement they do not believe I am a noble, and I'm entitled to satisfaction. Which means they either have to make a public admission they were wrong and give me an apology and a gift for my forbearance, or they have to answer my dueling challenge and, unless they manage to win, give me a gift for forbearance. An apology is considered inherently given if I beat them. If they win, the matter is closed." - I explain to her - "Don't worry about me having to fight too much. Having plenty of facsimiles on my person at any time means I can outperform anything any specific duelist can pull out on the piste with their flower. So if I'm the one being dueled, the outcome will be quick humiliation for the opponent in the absolute majority of cases."

She lifts her hands, looking at the embroidered bands around her wrists. "Like those?" - she quips.

"Yep. But lots more. I have them on my sleeves, on the hem of my dress, on the belt, on the hairband, on the collar, on the shoes, on the jewelry, hell, I have flowers embroidered on my underwear. I suggest you either take up embroidery or find someone who would take an affordable commission and have as many items of clothing embroidered with some flowers as you can. Extra insurance never hurt anyone. Have some hidden panel embroideries, get some leather to make shoe inserts and stitch flowers into them, just in case. Oh, and be careful about anyone offering you jewelry. Slave collars are a thing, and some are disguised as necklaces. For assorted reasons, slave collars only work when they can encircle neck, so be extra mindful of what goes around it. Remember, as a daughter of yeoman, you are inherently freeborn and entitled to defend your freedom violently, if needs be. Anyone offering you a slave collar as a gift? You may kill them and the law will be on your side in Champagne. Not so in Sultanate, of course, but they are a wholly different can of worms. I don't suggest visiting, they have... ideas about unattached women."

She nods. Blinks. YAAAAAAAAWNS. I can hear the faint crack as her jaw opens beyond the limits of comfort. She snaps her mouth close and rubs at her cheek, sighing - "I, yaaah, I need to get to my room, because I'm about to crash, and your bed is already crowded." She downs the rest of the coffee in her cup, shudders and stands up. "Good night, Alyssa. I'll see you tomorrow, I'm guessing. And hey, thanks for the coffee. And for including me into your plans. I, ah... have a lot to think about it." And with that, she wanders off into the night. I follow her with my eyespiders until she enters her room. Satisfied she's in her bed safe and sound, I direct attentions to my own. Crawling in to fit around the girls is a bit of a stretch and squeeze, but it all works out well, and I drift off to not-sleep almost immediately, my arms wrapped around the girls possessively as I do.

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