Isekai’d Shoggoth

Chapter 131: At the Gates of Nornburg

The whole business with the price hike went better than I expected, to be honest. I did assume Alphonse would make more fuss about it. Oh well, no complaints about having it the easy way for once. With any luck, he's going to step on Klaus a little, make him pull his head in. The business is done with, no one wants anything in Berlinger, except for me... So, while the airship continues the voyage east-south-east, my instance in Berlinger comes over to visit Munchausen. Much to my surprise, he is having a business lunch with Marceu.

"Fancy meeting you here." - I comment on the situation, as I stop nearby.

"A... er... lady Gillespie, good day to you." - he manages after a bit of surprised goggling - "I daresay I did not expect to meet you in this city today."

Munchausen glances from me to Marceu, then back to me. "You two are acquainted?" - he then ventures in accented Albish.

"I do business with his father." - I explain simply, as I pull up the chair and sit next to the table - "I'm here just to drop off the catalog for Gustav, but I do have an extra copy, so..."

Gustav blinks as I hand him a rather thick booklet, dropping the copy of it next to Marceu's elbow. He flips through the pages quickly, grinning as he glances over the rows and rows of data.

"Ah, yes. Very convenient, that. Do forgive me, jungfrau, but I am going to crib this idea of yours for my own wares." - he mentions - "Herr van der Klaas here had informed me about tablets and copy machines, so..."

I lean over the table and smirk - "I will throw in a teleportation service for big orders."

"Tele-what?" - Marceu pipes in - "This is more extensive of a listing than one I've seen back in Parsee. How come?"

"Updated version." - I tell him - "Your father already has the copy, I believe, I sent off a courier with it back before leaving Parsee. As for teleportation - for bulk orders of exclusive objects like tablets or copperphones, I'll move the cargo by magic. Sultanate had no idea what kind of proverbial gold mine they were sitting on with this spell of theirs. Well, this is all I wanted, so I'm going to leave you to your discussion. Herr Munchausen, the prices in this catalog match the prices I offer to Kraut as the kingdom, so bear that in mind. The restoration of the Ashenvale tract is a go, there is a suitable place for a tunnel circumventing the caldera and you should make preparations in the expectation that the route will be available in the spring."

___

Aaaand I'm DONE. Really, really, really DONE! No more "last-minute adjustments" or "just one small thing" or "five minutes more to finish this", I'm putting all my instances on sleep mode and focusing on the airship!.. Because Cy drew a mustache on me when I wasn't paying attention. Embarrassing.

"Just... what is this stuff! I just... hoW!?" - I think I'm justified in my befuddlement because it should not be THAT complicated for a shoggoth to get rid of some dried ink on the surface. I end up having to resort to detection formulae again to find out just what the hell happened. And I'm a little annoyed when I finally crack it.

"Cy, while this is a very clever sleuth of conceptual magic, I'm going to ask you not to do that to ME anymore." - I finally venture, after somehow ending up with a mustache disconnected from me - "Because bugger me but that was annoying to disconnect. You are entirely welcome to use this on anyone who knowingly annoys us and does not go away when we ask politely."

"How did you even... I don't even..." - hm, Cy is having problems with my solution, I guess. It's kinda freaky.

"Well, let's just say I did crib a thing or two observing that denial guy." - I explain, well, as much as I can explain without resorting to mathemagic and conceptual.

"Well at least it's not a smile." - she snorts - "...Let's make Cheshire cats sometime?"

"Are you sure you want to set off that kind of lunacy? Let's save it up for when things are slow and boring." - I suggest.

___

"...Go fish." - Bridgit offers apologetically, as she turns to Lily-Anne - "Do you have any fours?"

"...Rassum-frassum..." - Lily-Anne surrenders two cards with a scowl - "Alyssa, this is not the kind of card game I had in mind."

I shrug - "I'm afraid you are the only one who does know the, uh... grown-up games? Noble games? I mean, I never bothered to learn how to play Whist or Bouilotte. I think I vaguely remember how to play Noddy, but it's been years since I did. How about you all, girls?"

Moon Unit shrugs back - "I am somewhat familiar with gambling games like Pontoon or As-Nas, but actually participating always struck me as a quick way to part with my coin."

Roxolane joins in on the shrugging - "Back in Kraina we sometimes played Fools, but that's it for me. Children games, really."

Bridgit smiles - "Same here. Honestly speaking, Alyssa probably played cards with me the most, until now, so whatever I know, she also knows."

Cy smiles brightly - "I am a child! So it makes sense we are playing children games! Mom, invent Scrabble."

I... am somewhat taken aback at the idea of inventing tabletop games. But then again, why not?

"Scrabble, huh?" - I muse, as I pull on the array. It's one of those things that I'm not going to just share willy-nilly, by the way. The array is my personal tool, and it is basically a record of coordinates for my teleportation trick mated to portals Roxy documented. A convenient way for me to pull basic materials out of large storehouses. Complete with reporting to my tablet what I took and how much. Convenient. I do have some practice with letter casting, so it is fairly easy to cast letter blocks out of brass and cool them down. The playing field is just a wooden board scored with the grid. I hollow out the cells that are supposed to be bonuses and replace the wood in them with slats of appropriately colored metals or minerals... Aaand I think everyone abandoned the cards and are gawking at my handicraft.

"Here you go, Scrabble." - I tell Cy, spreading the letters on the table - "Wanna teach everyone how to play?"

By the time it's close to midnight, we have "invented" Scrabble, Othello, Snakes&Ladders, came back to cards a few more times and generally amused ourselves as much as we could. Good times.

___

"Nornburg." - I mutter, as I look around for a decent place to actually park. And I do actually need to touch down this time, because there is some legwork that is to be done resupplying, and I do not want Bridgit to handle what can be adequately performed by any random footman. Besides, I'm pretty sure I will have to at least invite burgmeister into the ship once. No reason to teleport them or make them climb the ladder. This place next to city gates is promising, there seems to be a good deal of free area that does not seem to be used in any manner right now. Probably staging grounds for caravans or some such...

...Shit, why does everyone always raise the militia as the greeting? I'm getting kinda annoyed here about all the greetings at the end of pike I'm getting lately. Well, nothing for it. Let's just jump down and talk to people before someone does something... apology-worthy.

"Hello. Can I talk to someone in charge, please?" - I do believe I was rather polite and clear right now. I also left the airship hanging sedately well above the highest possible clearance they might need and jumped the rest of the way down. I'm being nice and reasonable here. Which is why I am entirely not enthused about them charging at me with the pikes screaming their heads off. What the fuck, people.

Ok, so... Step, two, three, jump... Flip... Yes, now I grab these two pikes right past the blades as I flip over them and heave-ho! Yes, I have the pikes now! Oh, and I'm behind the charging group. I turn around and whip the liberated pikes horizontally, catching a good portion of their rear line across the backs, causing the whole line to collapse forward.

"Seriously, can I TALK to someone in charge?" - I offer irritably to the groaning pile of bodies in front of me. Arrows! Just... FUCK you all, just... Argh! Dodging them would be elementary, but if I do, then they all go right into this pile I just smacked over with pikes and I was very much intent on not starting my visit with a fresh bodycount! So walling off it is, even though it would mess up the pavement here. Smoothing down the road later is less annoying than smoothing down public relationships after a dozen negligent deaths, after all. But this is annoying me something fierce. Maybe I should try talking in Kraut? I'm pretty sure SOMEONE here understands Albish, but I could be remarkably unlucky or simply be wrong about it. Well, let's try Kraut. Also, let's try it louder.

"HALTN AUN HERN!" - I shout at them all, amplifying the volume by a combo of telekinesis to form an invisible megaphone and air magic to further shape the soundwave in the direction of "way more decibels than you ever heard before". The line is simple enough - "Stop and listen!". With any luck they... will... all collapse and roll around clutching their ears... Hrm. So... how much is "way more decibels" exactly? If I put this much power and my own voice is roughly at this... and with the cone shape like this and the amplification... that comes out roughly at hundred and eighty-three decibels?... Whoops. Considering pain threshold is somewhere like fifty decibels lower, double whoops. OK, so... basic heal should work for this, just pulse it in the area... Area... area... Oh fuckbisquits, fine! Let's just heal the whole city on the sly, gg Alyssa. At least they stopped attacking... Now if they just stop rolling on the ground clutching their heads in pain, I'll count this as a success.

Let's see... this guy's armor looks ornate... Or... nope, this one for sure. I stroll over to the presumptive commander, lift him by the lapels, smack his face a couple times to cue him in to the fact that he is no longer suffering from sonic damage aftereffects and intone - "So... Where do I find burgmeister? I do have a pressing desire to lodge a complaint about atrocious behavior of city guard, if nothing else."

___

Judging by the burgmeister's face, he is experiencing a migraine and is sorely wishing he could say this is not his problem. Unfortunately for him, it is his problem.

"Surely you can agree hauptmann Nervez had the reason to be cautious?" - he finally proffers.

"Sure. But charging with pikes at someone for asking to see their superior is not cautious, no matter how you look at it." - I riposte. The captain in question is stuck somewhere half-way between fuming and terrified, and I do not think he intends to pipe in unless ordered to or severely provoked. If my take on the situation is correct, he is upset that he overreacted and scared there will be consequences for failing to correct the course in time, so to speak.

"..." - they're clearly not comfortable with the situation and don't want to deal with it. Grr. Must I do everything?

"I do NOT want to deal with overly jumpy pikemen during my entire stay here." - I put forth in my best "imperiously unreasonable" impression - "I expect of you to disseminate the description of me and my airship to every guard in the city that is to be on duty while I am present. I do NOT appreciate people pointing pikes at me, and I will not put up with it. So make sure your people know better than doing that without a rock-solid reason. Am I understood?"

Burgmeister and captain exchange glances. "...and?" - Burgmeister then ventures cautiously. Fuck it, if I have to call up on my villainous origins, I'm gonna go full hog.

"And I'm going to rent that carriage field for the duration of my stay here." - I tell them, upending a sack of coins on burgmeister's table - "That's forty crownmarks, I do believe it covers the rentals you'd collect from the forty carriages you can fit on the field for the next two weeks."

The befuddlement continues unabated. Jeez, what more do you want? Oh, right. More money to drop on burgmeister, while I remember it.

"I want to hire footmen for the same term." - I explain while I add more silver on the pile - "Four men, make sure they're hale ones, I will be buying supplies."

"...Alright?" - argh, why do you make it sound like a question. Burgmeister, seriously. I'm running out of ridiculous things to demand!

"I expect both of you for a dinner tomorrow at my airship. Bring spouses and heirs, if they are interested." - there! Goodness, this sucks, I can't think of any other petty things to demand! Retreat, retreat, retreat!

"..Ah.. um... yes, milady, we understand." - burgmeister bleats, captain next to him nodding spastically. AAAAAWKWARD!

___

As I retreat to the airship, the spider I left behind in burgmeister's office starts picking up the conversation. It's in Kraut, but ever since I got uplinked in Evergreens, I just subconsciously translate things into Albish before thinking them over. Weird, by the way. One would think that I'd naturally default to orkish, given that was my first language... Wait, no, my shoggoth self has ancestral memories, so my first language is technically conceptual... Meh.

"What just happened?" - burgmeister asks faintly.

"Uh, I, well... we got invited for dinner, I think?" - captain finally gives voice - "And it looks like you've rented out the reserve stockade for premium rates."

"I probably felt faint after hearing her demands..." - burgmeister mutters - "What did we agree to give her for th... Ugh, I don't even want to think about it."

"Uh, well... ostensibly speaking, we promised to give all our guards a talking to so that they all know not to point pikes in her direction anymore?" - captain hems - "Other than that, I don't think she asked for anything at all."

"No, that can't be it." - burgmeister objects - "What kind of noble does not demand someone to be whipped, at the very least?"

"Perhaps she thinks shouting everyone near the gates off their feet was punishment enough?" - his compatriot ventures - "Gods and stars, Emil, I have never heard anything like this! Dragon's roar was nowhere near as strong as her's!"

"Truly?... Perhaps it just seems so because you're so much older now?" - burgmeister ventures - "...Haah, I don't even know anymore. Did this really go way better than we hoped?"

"..I think so? I mean, she didn't ask anything we wouldn't be doing anyways and dropped a pile of silver on your table to boot..." - the captain agrees uncertainly - "Look, I don't know about you, but I'm going to go home now, grab some good wine out of my cellar and tell my wife to prepare our best outfits. The young lady may be terrifying, but that's just more reason not to miss that dinner invitation."

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