Chapter 166: The Lonely, Depraved Knight
“Your Lordship, please allow me to follow and devote myself to you.” Inside a tent, Xi Suo sincerely knelt in front of Zhen Jin.
“Eh? You would rather give up being compensated with a ship, and instead want a chance to follow me? Why have you decided to do this?” Zhen Jin was interested.
Xi Suo breathed, then raised his head to gaze at Zhen Jin: “Lor Zhen Jin, you are a templar knight, the Bai Zhen Clan’s sole heir, and the future lord of White Sands City! The chance to follow a character like you is a stroke of luck that might never happen again in my lifetime.”
“If I am compensated with a new ship, at most I will accomplish what my father before me has, I will own a ship. In order to live, I have to brave stormy waves and fight against the ocean. Every voyage, we have to do our utmost and rack our brains. If we encounter strong pirates or ferocious sea monsters, my ship runs the risk of being sunk, just like the first shipwreck.”
Zhen Jin nodded: “Your answer is very honest, what I’ve heard comes from the bottom of your heart.”
“Very good Xi Suo, I will allow you to follow me.”
“But I also ask you to remember this moment, remember your sincerity.”
“I hope you can maintain your outstanding character.”
Xi Suo was exulted, he excitedly stuttered: “I, understand your Lordship, I understand!”
But the next moment, scarlet blood gushed from Xi Suo’s mouth.
Xi Suo suddenly opened his eyes and looked at Zhen Jin with shock: “You……you are not a templar knight!”
“Monster, you are a monster!”
He suddenly grabbed his chest; he didn’t know when his chest had been run through with a mortal wound.
“I……misjudged you……”
Pop, Xi Suo breathlessly fell to the ground.
“No!” Zhen Jin cried out in alarm, soon after he awoke from his nightmare.
His entire body was covered in cold sweat.
He gasped several times to stabilize his state of mind.
He looked around at his tranquil surroundings.
Although the sun and moon were not visible in the underground alchemy factory, regardless of whether it was Cang Xu, Jia Sha, or Zi Di, each of them had a way to measure time.
Currently it was very late into the night.
After crashing their way through the magma battlefield, only thirty people were left.
Because the fire elementals seemed to attract attention to themselves, Zhen Jin and the two guardian templar knights immediately set off and smoothly returned, nothing pursued or obstructed them.
The guardian golems were artificial things, they had low intelligence and relied on the tower spirit to direct them. But the tower spirit’s voice did not appear in the magma battlefield.
In the middle of the passage.
Jia Sha used the extreme eye spell to find a spot to rest, with no problems arising, he ordered everyone to rest.
He had almost exhausted his divine power, thus healing the others was a difficult task.
After finishing his daily prayers, Jia Sha sank into a deep sleep with two guardian templar knights protecting him.
“How should I explain things to him? When I charged through the magma battlefield today, the priest must have seen my appearance, but he didn’t mention it.”
Zhen Jin knew Jia Sha was waiting for him to confess.
But what could Zhen Jin say?
“Xi Suo……”
“I killed him with my own hands!”
Remorse and powerlessness rushed into his mind simultaneously.
Zhen Jin painfully closed his eyes, sat up, and leaned against the metal wall. The metal wall’s coldness seemed to transmit to the depths of his heart.
The young knight sank into self-blame: “At the time I should have stayed my hand, I shouldn’t have been so heavy handed. I should have remembered the scouts were invisible. Why did I forget? Why did I only forget that point?”
However, from the depths of his heart, a voice disseminated: “Don’t be too sad, this was only an accident, that’s all.”
“No, I’ve become depraved……I am already depraved. My hands have been polluted with my comrade’s blood.”
“Repulsive, I definitely wanted to save him!”
“I definitely wanted to save him!!”
With this fact, Zhen Jin clenched his teeth and covered his eyes with his right palm. The back of his head was touching the ice-cold wall and his left fist was clenched tightly.
The scene of killing Xi Suo replayed in his mind again.
When he found Xi Suo, Zhen Jin was shocked.
However, when he wanted to help Xi Suo, he discovered the fatal injury and Zhen Jin immediately sank into bewilderment.
Faced with Xi Suo’s denouncement, he subconsciously retorted.
When he suddenly heard the guardian templar knights’ voices, Zhen Jin’s heart jumped, without enough time to think, he suddenly activated the core and absorbed Xi Suo!
“No!”
“I vowed that I would never put my hands on a human. But not only did I do that, I even killed my own comrade.”
“Why did I destroy any trace of his corpse? Why?!”
That question tormented him the most.
He couldn’t avoid this question.
“I was weak, afraid, and worried of misunderstandings.”
“I can explain things clearly. I can.”
“How can you explain this?” Another voice in his heart sneered.
“Why did I kill him, isn’t it because I was afraid of him spilling my secret? With that injury, he was already toast, you might as well forget about it. Some things shouldn’t be said, wouldn’t that just cause complications for me?”
“Think about it, didn’t I save Xi Suo’s life?”
“But he didn’t know how to be grateful, he still wanted to make things difficult for me! He would have caused the guardian templar knights to misunderstand me, the consequences would have been severe!”
“No!” Zhen Jin held his head in his hands and shouted in his heart: “Go away, I don’t believe that I am not a despicable and sinister person!!”
The voice in his heart laughed: “Then let me put it in a way you can understand.”
“Hmph……I cannot be misunderstood, because I am responsible for this body!”
“The revival of the Bai Zhen Clan, protecting my fiancé, and successfully leading these survivors off this island are my responsibility. I promised them that, correct?”
“Therefore, I cannot die or be misunderstood, nor can I fail to live up to the expectations of others.”
“No, no, no, this is quibble, all of this is quibble.” Zhen Jin’s head was nearly buried in his stomach, he did his best to vie with the darkness in his heart.
“I’ve become depraved! I’ve always been in the abyss of depravity!” At that moment, the young knight felt he was as weak as tree leaves in the wind.
But quickly, the voices in his heart said together: “Depravity? What is depravity?”
“Is violating the templar knight’s path depravity?”
“Relax, I am only doing the most correct choice. My choice was rational, it proves my intelligence.”
“Look around, no one else knows the truth. No one thinks you killed Xi Suo.”
Zhen Jin suddenly opened his eyes, and with light flickering in them, he loudly refuted in his heart: “No, I will confess, I will be honest, I will atone for my crime!”
“Hahaha, of course you will……” Unexpectedly, the voice in his heart didn’t block him.
“Do it!” The voice hooted.
But Zhen Jin no longer retorted, his face grew paler, he looked like a dead person.
His breathing weakened, as if he were a breathless dead man.
At that moment, he understood he didn’t have the courage to speak of Xi Suo’s murder or to expose the core.
Previously, every time he roused enough courage, at the final push some affair would suddenly burst in or another person would destroy it.
But as a matter of fact, was it really like that?
It wasn’t.
If he really wanted to say something, he could have said something most of the time.
“In reality, I didn’t speak out because I didn’t want to!”
“For example, I only wanted to confess to the priest because of external pressure, nothing more.”
“Who doesn’t want to be bright and beautiful, who doesn’t want to hide their darkness and unworthiness? I want to, I especially want to!”
Remorse, frustration, pain, and sorrow tormented the youngster, by torturing and questioning his heart, the youngster also understood the true opinions the deepest parts of his heart held.
A tormenting night passed.
Everyone set out again.
Scouts were required to investigate ahead.
“Let me come.” Zhen Jin asked to be assigned.
Everyone was amazed and opposed him.
Zhen Jin shook his head and stood firm: “Everyone needs to rest more, while I am in relatively good condition. In addition, after the magma battlefield, perhaps the road ahead is more dangerous and needs stronger people to investigate it.”
He needed to keep himself busy, too busy to ponder.
Scouting needed more than one person.
A bronze level sailor kneeled at his own accord and excitedly told Zhen Jin: “Lord Zhen Jin, you have saved my life more than once. Please let me follow you, let us move together!”
Zhen Jin’s actions yesterday in the battlefield inspired this sailor.
But Zhen Jin pursed his brows, at that moment, he seemed to see Xi Suo: “No, I will go alone. Stand up for me!”
The sailor blankly stared.
Realizing his reaction was a little excessive, Zhen Jin complemented: “Currently, the road ahead has no byways. Only I am needed, you need to recuperate more.”
With these words, Zhen Jin received the praise and esteem of everyone.
Yet, when faced with these eyes and attitudes, Zhen Jin only wanted to escape.
The investigation went very smoothly, so smoothly that Zhen Jin was somewhat suspicious.
Following this, everyone was in disbelief, they didn’t encounter any golems, exterminators, or traps.
And so, they advanced like this for two days.
A day dragged past like a year for Zhen Jin.
“Your Lordship, you don’t need to feel sad for those sacrificed. It is more important to lead those still alive and escape this place together.” Advised Cang Xu.
“Lord Zhen Jin don’t blame yourself. We never blamed you. You have already done enough.” Bai Ya also consoled.
“Is there anything you want to say to me. There is a lot I want to say to you.” Zi Di privately found Zhen Jin.
“Child, you must remember, Master Sheng Ming’s gaze shines over everything, in it there are no shadows.” Jia Sha also encouraged Zhen Jin.
However, these encouragements, consolement, advice, and other words only made Zhen Jin feel more ashamed.
More……lonely.
“There is a dead body ahead!” A scout returned with important information.
The corpse of a strong saint level person lay in the passage.
There were traces of a fierce close quarters battle everywhere.
“He should be one of the attackers. Hold on, that apparel……”
“He comes from the Blood Light Punishment Institution!”
Everyone hurried over, all of their hearts were equally shocked.
Notes
Goodness would you look at the time, looks like the inevitable rolled around once again. One could consider the battle in his heart the fight between rationality and morals. One priorities goals, the self, and the perception of others, while the other wants to hold onto beliefs and morality. It seems rationality has won over because the consequences of sticking to his beliefs are too high. Ironically, you could say he feels more free in the shape of another.
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