I’m Really a Superstar

Japan.

Countless citizens closed their eyes in disbelief!

“Oh no!”

“Oh my God!”

“Please tell me this is not true!”

“Why is it him! How can it be him!”

“Yeah, how can it be this guy!”

“That eunuch won the Peace Prize?”

…

Korea.

There was a wave of cries in the country!

Those who had been infected by the Panda Burning Incense virus years ago nearly flipped their tables and started cursing!

“This—”

“They really gave it to him?!”

“Holy fuck!”

“Is the Nobel Prize Committee stupid?!”

“He tripped over the Indian author just now! It happened just a while ago! Didn’t you guys see that? Did you really not see that?! Has the committee gone crazy?!”

…

The UK.

“This is unbelievable!”

“They actually gave it to a Chinese man?”

“The Peace Prize is the most important award of the Nobel Prizes!”

“This award is too unexpected!”

“No one could have expected this!”

“Zhang Ye? I’ll remember his name.”

“This person is truly capable. He was obviously unprepared before going onstage, yet he could deliver such a rousing speech. Impressive.”

…

India.

The citizens were enraged. Countless people were cursing and swearing!

“Sweltering with the heat of injustice?”

“Sweltering with the heat of oppression?”

“He even wants the sound of peace to ring out from our country?”

“You’re the one who’s sweltering with the heat of injustice!”

“You were the one who tripped Teacher Bangalore, yet you’re still fucking making sarcastic remarks about us? Why don’t you just die!”

“This person is too infuriating!”

“How can there be such a shameless person around!”

…

America.

This dramatic news also shocked the American people.

“The Nobel Prize has been won by a Chinese person for the first time?”

“The crucial thing is that it’s the Peace Prize!”

“There has never been a Chinese person who has stood on such a high pedestal!”

“China these days feels different.”

“Zhang Ye? This Chinese guy is quite different.”

…

An international hacker group.

Many of the members were dumbfounded by the news.

“Holy shit!”

“Even a hacker can win the Nobel Peace Prize?”

“What has become of the world?”

“Boss, why don’t you make a push for the Nobel Prizes next year as well?”

“Get lost!”

…

Back at home.

His mother said dumbfoundedly, “It’s really my son?”

Wu Zeqing acknowledged and said with a smile, “We’ve gotten the Nobel Prize!”

His mother asked again, “My son really won it?”

His father got so emotional that his eyes reddened. “Yes! It’s our son! The Nobel Peace Prize! You’ve been repeating yourself more than ten times!”

Then his mother went crazy and took out her cell phone. “Quick! Give our relatives and friends a call!”

His father said, “There’s no need to do that! Everyone has definitely found out!”

Sisi’s childish voice rang out.

“Daddy is awesome!”

“Daddy is awesome!”

…

At Zhang Ye’s maternal grandma’s house.

There were also screams in this house!

“Our brother has won! He’s won!”

“So cool!”

“It’s really our brother!”

“We have a cousin who’s a Nobel Prize laureate!”

“That’s right! That’s right! I can brag about this for the rest of my life!”

His grandparents were also looking at the television in astonishment. They didn’t know how to express what they were feeling!

…

At his in-law’s house.

Li Qinqin was thrilled and excited!

Wu Changhe looked very stunned!

“The Peace Prize?”

…

At Zhang Ye’s Studio.

Everyone was roaring in celebration!

“We’ve won!”

“We’ve won!”

Someone was crying. “We really did it! We really won!”

“Director Zhang is gonna blow up!”

“We’ll be breaking into the International Celebrity Rankings Index soon!”

A lot of the studio staff were already in tears. They were crying and shouting at the same time. But no matter how many words they said or tears they cried, it was still not enough to express the excitement they had!

…

At the Chinese Academy of Sciences.

It was chaos here as the eight buildings were overrun by shouting!

“He’s won it!”

“Professor Zhang has won the Nobel Prize!”

“Oh my God! Oh my God!”

“He really pulled it off!”

“Hahahaha! Old Zhou! What did I say! Ah? What did I say? I knew this kid wouldn’t have a problem! I knew he could do it!”

…

At Central TV.

In the live broadcast studio.

The host was incoherent!

The host said, “He won it! He won it! The Nobel Peace Prize is ours! The Nobel Prize has been awarded to a Chinese person for the first time!”

Even the guest stood up and declared loudly, “Please remember this day, everyone! Please remember this name! Zhang Ye! He has won the first Nobel Prize for China! I’m very proud right now. I’m proud of Teacher Zhang, and I’m proud to be Chinese!”

The female host was also tearing up. “My current emotions echo Professor Sun’s. Everyone witnessed how Teacher Zhang missed out on the Nobel Prize in Literature and might have turned off their television right after. But who could have expected that at the end, at the very last moment, Teacher Zhang Ye managed to bring a Nobel Peace Prize home! This moment belongs to the Chinese people. It is the moment when China’s name is ringing out across the entire world! Amazing! Teacher Zhang, you’re fantastic!”

…

At Spring Garden’s place.

Amy’s mouth was still wide open. She hadn’t been able to close her mouth all this while!

Xiaodong, who still looked very shocked, was unable to believe her ears. She pointed at the television and asked Li Xiaoxian, who was next to her, “Zhang Ye?”

“Yes.”

“The Peace Prize?”

“Yes.”

Xiaodong nearly vomited blood!

…

Dong Shanshan’s house.

His old classmates were all looking at one another.

Several of them were floored!

“Zhang’er has won the Peace Prize?”

“When did the Nobel Foundation become so humorous?”

“To award the Peace Prize to this fellow, can it get more ironic?!”

“I’m feeling faint. Someone get me some wine to calm my nerves!”

…

On Weibo.

The Chinese netizens were writhing in excitement!

“Face-smacking Zhang?”

“The Peace Prize?”

“Th-This is too face smacking!”

“Who would have thought that this bastard could actually bring home the Peace Prize! Is he thinking of scaring everyone around the world to death?! It’s the Nobel Peace Prize, alright!”

“Face-smacking Zhang is going down in the annals of history!”

“Yeah, not only is he going down in the annals of China’s history, he is going to fucking go down in the annals of world history!”

“Pfft!”

“That Indian author is gonna be crying!”

“Don’t mention that Indian author, even I am fucking crying!”

There was still a minority who did not know about this matter.

Some people had only just signed into Weibo.

“Ah?”

“What are you guys talking about?”

“What’s going on here? What about the Peace Prize?”

“Previous posters, don’t you know yet? Then let me tell you all a joke. The joke is: Zhang Ye has won the Nobel Peace Prize!”

“Pfft, don’t joke!”

“Do you guys think I’m an idiot?”

“Hahaha, if Face-smacking Zhang won the Peace Prize, then I’ll go and run for the American presidency!”

Then tens of thousands of people replied to that Weibo comment!

“Go on then!”

“Hurry and go!”

“I’m cramping up from laughing!”

“Bro, all the best!”

“Pfft, you people better go and watch the news!”

In such a short period of time, tens of thousands of people had come to join in on the fun, dumbfounding those people!

Only then did they realize that something was wrong and quickly went to check the news.

If they didn’t check, it would have been fine. But when they saw it, they either vomited blood or fainted!

What?

It’s true?!

…

In this world, many things were simply unacceptable.

For example, pigs flying.

For example, an iron tree blooming.

For example, a vegetarian tiger.

For example, Zhang Ye winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

Everyone in China was cheering at Zhang Ye’s Nobel Prize win. But the only problem was that this Nobel Prize made them slightly embarrassed, and they didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Who was Zhang Ye?

China, Japan, and Korea knew him better than anyone else!

He was someone who would scold people regardless of the occasion!

He was a hooligan who would unexpectedly lay a hand on others!

He was an asshole who would make trouble out of nothing at all!

Counting the number of times that Zhang Ye had done such things over the years, none of those incidents would fucking have any correlation to the word “peace” at all! Yet it was exactly this person who won the Peace Prize!

Very soon, the news headlines were published as well!

America.

The UK.

France.

Japan.

Russia.

A similar headline appeared on the news all over the world.

It was a very long headline that had never appeared in the history of the news before.

“The Nobel Prize in Literature nominee who tripped the Nobel Prize in Literature winner at the Nobel Prize awards ceremony wins the Nobel Peace Prize!”

This joke made the entire world laugh!