I’m In Charge of SCP

Chapter 9: I'm a Toaster

As an SCP enthusiast, Zhang Jue certainly knew how generous the terms offered by the Foundation were. It meant that he had power almost second only to the O5 Council and could access the vast majority of the Foundation's information, which was enough to explain the Foundation's attitude towards him. He didn't know why, but he was sure that the Foundation was asking for something, and it was not a small request.

This is a bit interesting. The Foundation even had such a thaumaturgic technology to reboot the world due to the trouble they could not solve themselves. Zhang Jue could not think of it, nor did he want to think about it.

Joining the Foundation was just what he wanted. If he wanted to strengthen himself and return to the original world, starting with the Foundation was undoubtedly the best way. Since joining the Foundation was mutually beneficial, he didn't care about it.

The next day, Zhang Jue went to visit SCP-053 as promised. When she saw Zhang Jue, the little girl was thrilled, and Zhang Jue taught her a few small magic tricks, and the two of them played all afternoon.

When the staff at the site met Zhang Jue, they all greeted him very respectfully, "Hello, Advisor Zhang."

Apparently, Site Director Yang Wenbai had already informed Zhang Jue about joining the Foundation, and everyone knew the new advisor and knew that he was the hottest figure at Site-14.

In the evening, Zhang Jue went to the roof of the building to see the view. The Site-14 area was built on the outskirts, away from the city, and watching the sunset from here was a different feeling.

"Spirited." A female voice came from behind him, and between the words, there was some hint of dissatisfaction.

Zhang Jue didn't even turn his head back: "Ah, I'm not going to hide it from you. Sometimes being handsome is a burden. There are beautiful women following you everywhere you go."

Yang Xue's cheeks flushed slightly, and she hummed. "What are you doing in the containment area, not just to see Shirley, right?" For some reason, Yang Xue also no longer refers to that little girl as SCP-053.

"I said I missed you, believe it or not." Zhang Jue had a sinister smile on his face.

"Don't believe it."

"Oh? Why?" Yang Xue's answer was decisive, which made Zhang Jue curious.

Yang Xue looked at him, "You are a man who seems to be hanging around, but in fact, every word you say and everything you do is very purposeful. It is unlikely that you would run to such a dangerous place because of a woman."

"The one who knows me is Dr. Yang." Zhang Jue snapped his fingers, "I'm not going to hide it from you, but I came here because I want to experiment with something."

"What kind of experiment?"

Zhang Jue gave a [DATA EXPUNGED] look, "You'll know when you come."

The two of them made their way through the holding area and arrived at the E3 area. Most of the ones housed here were Euclid-class anomalies.

The Foundation has about four main Object Classes for the anomalies, Safe, Euclid, Keter, and Thaumiel, and their detailed descriptions are not tabulated here. We need to explain them based on the famous box test briefly.

For a specific exception item.

If you lock it into a box, set it aside, and nothing bad happens, then it is probably Safe.

If you lock it in a box, set it aside, and you're not sure what's going to happen, then it's probably Euclid.

If you lock it in a box, set it aside, and it escapes easily, then it's probably Keter.

If it is the box itself, then it's Thaumiel.

Euclid-rated anomalies may not be as dangerous, but they usually have a great deal of uncertainty.

Yang Xue had no idea what kind of experiment Jue Zhang would do. Although Zhang Jue's current authority was high, because of the SCP-682 incident, all experiments done at Site 14 currently had to go through multiple rounds of evaluation before they could be done.

The two made their way down the corridor, and after a particular corner was passed, Zhang Jue finally stopped outside the door of one of the holding rooms. He scanned his fingerprints, entered the password, opened the door, and pointed to the contents.

Yang Xue was shocked: "You want to use 'me' for experiments?"

-----

Hello, I am SCP-426, and I must introduce it this way to avoid semantic confusion.

I am an ordinary toaster that toasts slices of bread after being powered on, but when any human refers to me, they subconsciously use the first person. Despite numerous attempts, a way to speak or write information about me in the third person has yet to be found.

After I remain around an individual for two months, they will begin to think of themselves as a toaster. Unless prevented by someone else, these individuals will eventually seriously injure themselves by trying to imitate my standard functions.

I was given as a gift to a certain newlywed couple, and no card or identification markings were found on my box. About two months after this family received me, firefighters arrived due to a fire in the electrical circuit.

The woman died of electrocution as she tried to swallow an entire electrical socket, and the other two victims died together shortly before the fire. Her mother-in-law consumed almost 10 kg of bread and died of internal bleeding, and her husband died of blood loss after trying to [harmonize] with me.

The only survivor was an elderly gentleman, already in a state of severe malnutrition, who claimed he had inserted some slices of bread a week earlier and was still waiting for the baked bread to pop out. After the police noticed my unusual properties, I was confiscated by the Foundation, and the affected officers received C-level amnestic sedation.

Then later, I was brought back to the facility by the Foundation for many experiments and was eventually placed in a sealed room without any surveillance equipment or windows. The door leading to my room had to be labeled with a number and characteristics completely unrelated to mine to prevent the accidental transmission of my primary anomalous effects.

Only staff at Level 3 and above may be aware of my presence and some of my characteristics. Assigned staff must rotate monthly to avoid being affected by my secondary effects and undergo a mandatory psychiatric evaluation at the end of each month.

Indeed, staff members who are not affected may be reassigned to me at least four months after their last rotation. Any staff member affected by me must receive C-level amnestic sedation and be transferred to another site.

Finally, let me emphasize that I am really, just a toaster.

When Zhang Jue opened the door to the room, I was lying nicely on the tabletop. The woman next to him said, "You want to use 'me' for your experiments?"

"Right." Zhang Jue walked up to me, "I just want to try it out with SCP-426." Hearing Zhang Jue's words, the woman faintly stared.

"You can actually use the third person to make a description about me?!"

Zhang Jue nodded, "Yes, I can. I've tried it within the site, and I am not affected by SCP-426. I came here today to confirm that this immunity would be affected by distance, and so far, it seems not."

He slapped my casing heavily, "SCP-426, you big daddy!" Then smugly said, "See, I'm the first person who can curse it, right?" The woman covered her forehead, seemingly speechless at what he had done. Zhang Jue laughed out loud.

The woman sighed, "So this counts as a successful experiment. What are you going to do next?"

"No, no, no." Zhang Jue shook his head, "At the moment, it only proves that Shirley and the toaster are ineffective against me. The sample is too small. I would like to find another anomalous object to experiment with if possible."

"Which anomalous object?" The woman subconsciously asked.

Zhang Jue revealed a [DATA EXPUNGED] expression, "Dr. Yang, do you know in which area SCP-166 (Teenage Succubus) is contained?"

SCP-166?

The woman froze and cursed loudly, "Rascal!" Then walked out of my room.

Zhang Jue hurriedly chased after her, "Dr. Yang, believe me, I was trying to have a heart-to-heart with her. It was really just a heart-to-heart!"

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