Chapter 98 - He Would Have Been Proud Of Her
Angelo was firm in his resolve. He wasn't going to mess with things. He would keep doing what he was doing and Vanessa would keep doing what she was doing. Their lives didn't need to intersect any more than they already had.
That was what he told himself right up until she managed to corner him. They had gone to visit Avery together about a week after she and Bailey came home from the hospital and she sort of chased after him as he tried to leave. He was already flustered by the knowing look Avery shot him on his way out the door so he had no idea what to say.
"Angelo, can we talk?" Vanessa asked hesitantly.
"I don't see what there is to talk about," he replied without meeting her eyes.
"Look, I get that you're busy but if you can make time for things like this you can make time to see me too, can't you?"
Angelo was a lot freer than he had been before but he was still pretty busy.. Not too busy to have a life outside the mission if he really wanted to but that wasn't the problem here. He could make it work if not for the fact that it was a terrible idea.
"That isn't it."
"Then what is?" she demanded with her hands on her hips. "Avery said you couldn't think about dating because you were busy. If you aren't busy I don't see what the problem is."
"I am busy but even if I wasn't this still wouldn't be a good idea," Angelo said firmly.
"Why?"
"I'm no good for you, Vanessa. Even if I was I wouldn't want to risk making things awkward since Avery would be stuck between us if something went wrong. You deserve better. So just…forget about me, okay? I'm not worth it."
"Can't I decide that for myself? If we could handle the awkwardness of the past several months I think we can handle anything. I don't even want anything serious right now, Angelo! I just want to see you."
"You do see me."
"Not often enough! I only see you through Avery. Can't I see you outside of that sometimes? I miss you when you aren't around."
Angelo's heart skipped a beat. Avery had told him as much but hearing it straight from Vanessa was different. She just wanted to see him. How was he supposed to say no to that?
But he knew that he would get greedy if he did. Wasn't that what happened with Avery and Christian? After a certain point her rationalization got out of control and she ended up doing something incredibly stupid.
It had worked out well for her but that was an anomaly. He wouldn't be able to tell Vanessa the truth. Ever.
It was mostly over now but he still had his commitments. He couldn't la-dee-dah off into the sunset. Especially not being as angry and full of hatred as he still was.
"Vanessa…as much as I would like that I really can't offer you anything. It wouldn't be fair in the long run," Angelo confessed.
"What does the long run matter?" Vanessa demanded. "Living in the present is good enough for me. If things don't work out they don't work out. That doesn't mean I'm not going to live my life."
"…you sound frighteningly like Güera."
"Well, she is my best friend. But that's off topic. If we both want to see each other more often it's stupid that we aren't."
Angelo sighed. She really didn't get it. "I'm not the sort of person you think I am."
"Then I can see that for myself the more time we spend together. Simple as that. If we aren't compatible that's fine but I'd at least like to see that personally rather than have it told to me," Vanessa said firmly.
He was wavering. It was hard not to since she was basically giving him an easy out later. All she wanted was to see him more often. He wanted to see her too but he couldn't afford to get greedy.
"Vanessa…"
"Just think about it. The way things are now I see you once or twice a month. All we would have to do is change that to once a week. Do you think you could spare me that much time? Just a few hours here and there."
Her deep brown eyes bored into his and he suddenly felt that he couldn't refuse. They were practically pleading with him.
He let out a heavy sigh, feeling like he was going to regret this. "Fine. Do you want to get dinner or something? I haven't eaten since lunch and could really go for a hot dog for some reason."
Vanessa smiled at him so dazzlingly he nearly stumbled backward and she linked her arm through his. "Sounds perfect."
===
Avery thought she was used to sleep deprivation from her time as Nox but that was nothing compared to being woken up every two hours to feed Bailey. Christian tried to help as much as he could but he was exhausted too. And still had to go to work on top of it.
They both suffered through months of sleepless nights before their daughter needed to be fed less often. It was miserable but she wouldn't trade Bailey for anything. Even a good night's sleep.
She missed her job but simultaneously wasn't ready to go back to work when her six months of maternity leave were up. They found a daycare that came highly recommended by Domenica and started driving to work rather than taking the subway so they could drop her off beforehand.
Bailey was an adorably chubby baby whose smiles and giggles captured the hearts of anyone who heard them. She thoroughly charmed the daycare staff on her first day.
Avery couldn't help but text to see how she was doing throughout her shift when she was on break and thought about her daughter a lot but was also glad to be back in the bakery. The smells of vanilla and yeast felt like she was coming home.
Everyone was glad to see her but no one more than the second cake decorator. He had been drowning the whole time she was gone like she used to back when she was on her own. She felt for him. She really did.
Getting back into the groove of things wasn't as hard as she expected. Her skills hadn't gotten rusty since she still made cakes for people she knew when she was at home with the baby.
Avery fell into a new pattern. Every morning she and Christian would take Bailey to daycare before heading to work. They met up in the lobby when they were done and went to pick her up together. Then they played with her for a few hours before she went to bed and were able to enjoy a couple more together until they needed to sleep too.
On Mondays Bailey didn't need to go to daycare because Avery was back to her old schedule of having Sundays and Mondays off. Four days a week wasn't too bad.
When she and Christian wanted to go out they had no shortage of available babysitters. Nancy and Brian being the most frequent to volunteer. If they needed a break they were always able to take one.
Avery wished her dad would have been able to babysit his granddaughter too but it was pointless. He would never get to meet her.
It broke her heart but what could she do? There was no changing the past. All she could do at this point was try to build a better future for her daughter and any other children she might have later. She wanted Bailey to grow up with siblings.
She never had the chance biologically but there was Angelo. Growing up without him would have been so much more boring. Even Christian, who was frequently driven insane by his brother, agreed with the sentiment.
They wanted to wait until Bailey was a little older but didn't want there to be as big an age gap as there was between Christian and Liam. They would probably try again in another year or two.
For now she wanted to focus on dealing with their rather rambunctious daughter. Bailey was certainly a handful but was so cute it was impossible to resent her for it.
Her whole family loved her. Avery was sure her dad would have too.
He would have been proud of her. She was sure of it. For what she accomplished as Nox and in her personal life.
She still hadn't untangled all of her feelings about him and what he left behind for her but she knew he had loved her. And she loved him. But she couldn't spend her whole life looking back. The time had come to focus on looking forward.
Avery had come to a rather difficult conclusion recently. It was time for her to sell her childhood home.
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